Ambrose-a-rama, Babies, and the Chinese

I was summoned back into the doctor's room with the English speaking nurse. The doctor started talking and the nurse translated for me that I was pregnant. Then she asked me, "Do you need this baby?"

What an odd question, I thought. Did she confuse the English words "want" and "need?" I remember hearing other kids' parents telling them that they had their wants and needs confused when the kids told them they needed some outrageuosly priced thing. Was she really asking me if I wanted this baby? Would I admit that at the age of 35 I was so human that, yes, I think I need this baby. Not just want, but need. I think Randy does, and I especially know that Myles does. But she probably really meant "want" and that in turn really meant that the doctor was ready to schedule me for an abortion if my answer was no.

I just told them yes, this baby was wanted. The doctor wrote something in a booklet I was supposed to bring with me everytime I returned to the hospital. The hospitals (and my dentist here) do not maintain records. Every patient is responsible for keeping track of their own medical records in these little booklets. There would be no appointments, no referrals to a recommended OB with privileges at the hospital. I knew it couldn't be just like the US, but I didn't realize it would be like this. The doctor wrote out some notes in my booklet and gave me a box of folic acid "for the baby's brain." The nurse told me to come back in about three weeks for an ultrasound, though later I would wonder if she really was supposed to say three months. When I did return, there was much confusion about my being there so soon, and even after paying the 100 RMB VIP charge and the ultrasound charge (another few hundred RMB), she said they were too busy to see me, and that they might not be able to see anything anyway, so could I come back the following week?

An interesting saga is unfolding for those of us who keep up with Ambrose-a-rama.

Jen is pregnant and encountering some astonishing attitudes as she goes about searching for the right fit in health care for pre-natal care and the birth of their baby. Follow them and see what they find. So far she has chronicled: "Do You Need This Baby?", "You Have the Lowest Birthrate in the World?", and "What You White People Want".

Fascinating. And, of course, also sad.

10 Signs You are at a Catholic Summer Camp

I just couldn't resist ... these are laugh-out-loud funny ... so I swiped Alive and Young's list. You're missing a very entertaining blog if you aren't reading it ... so swing by and check it out.

10 Signs You Are at a Catholic Summer Camp

1. Morning and night Prayer prayed every day.
2. Before rejoining a game of Man Hunt, after being caught, you are required to pray a decade of the rosary for the souls in purgatory.
3. Daily Mass, Rosary, and Benediction.
4. You find the missing campers by the lake practicing the Salva Regina for nigh prayers.
5. The campers pick team names like Benedict's Six, Catholics on Patrol, The Kyrigma Kids, and The Perichoresis Pack.
6. Evening activity consists of a rousing game of "Conclave" where the campers take the role of cardinals and elect a Pope.
7. Calling another "Henry VIII, Zwingli, and Sister Joan" are the most server form of insult.
8. Charity is exemplified by choosing not the smack your opponent in the head with the dodge ball when another body part will suffice.
9. Virtues are a key component to the Camp.
10. You hear someone yell, "Last one there is a Martin Luther."

Sister Scholastica ... Hurricane Hunter

Why, you might ask?

Just head on over to Brother Andrew's place and see.

Practical Ideas for Cutting Back

Catholicsm+Wine is making a "to do" list of ways to cut back. She's looking at take a bit better care of the environment and frugality. I can give an "AMEN" on no dry cleaning, cooking meals, and menu planning. Also, as our antenna works perfectly fine, we don't have cable. We use our vcrs or rent movies.

I would like to add also a plea for people to investigate their libraries. Many offer audiobooks, television shows, and movies. Before I buy a book I always get it from the library if possible to make sure I'll like it enough to read more than once.

More ideas? Hie thee over to Catholicism+Wine to add to the comments.

Worth a Thousand Words

Bobbin Lace
Click through the above link for more photos from Barcelona Photoblog.

Why Big Brown couldn't deliver ...

Creative Minority Report has the scoop.

Two Books I am Keeping Stockpiled to Give Away

I can't tell you how often in the last few months I've encountered someone with a desperately ill or dying family member.

I was so very happy that I had these books on hand. Now I am ordering five more of each because they have given such comfort to those who have received them. Seriously. You should read the thank you notes.

I am going to reprint my original reviews here so you can get the full "whammy" on why these are so helpful to those in need.

(P.S. Although the books are from the Catholic perspective, especially "Caring for the Dying," they have been much appreciated by nonCatholics as well.)

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These are little books but they deliver a big dose of food for thought...

The Way of the Cross in Times of Illness
by Elizabeth Thecla Mauro

3. Jesus Falls the First Time

Why do we always assume that this first fall came from your weariness and physical pain? Could you have fallen in fear? You, Jesus who are both God and human, you understand how fear and anxiety can paralyze the will, paralyze the strength of the body, and sometimes paralyze even the strength of the spirit.

I admit that there are times when I am overtaken with fear, and I feel unable to move, to think, to pray--even to This fear brings with it a weariness that defies description and snatches away the small pockets of peace I am seeking in my life.

So, I fall now with you, Jesus, prostrated in fear, knowing that I must rise and go on. My face is dirty; I am gasping through the dust of the road.

But I get up with you. I breathe in deeply, and breathe out.

With you, I move slowly forward.

Yahweh, I called on your name from the deep pit. You heard me crying, "Do not close your ear to my prayer." You came near that day when I called to you; you said: "Do not be afraid."

Lamentations 3:55-57 (JB)

I rarely do the Stations of the Cross although I often have one catch my eye during times when I am waiting for Mass to begin, thereby beginning thoughts about it. Most often I will think about them when contemplating the sorrowful mysteries of the rosary. Although this simple, inexpensive book is presented as being for a time of illness, when reading through it I found much that is worthy of contemplation during Lent. It is worded so that the stations can apply to illness, but not so specifically that the contemplations cannot be used at any time, especially in any time of distress. Highly recommended.

Caring for the Dying With the Help of Your Catholic Faith
by Elizabeth Scalia

The Long Tunnel

Some people say the process of dying involves the appearance of a long tunnel through which one passes, moving toward the light. Just as those who report back from a "near death experience" say they felt "pushed along" through a tunnel, you may feel like you are being "pushed along" by circumstances, and unable to halt the forward motion -- a prisoner of sheer momentum. You would be right. As the journey's end nears, there seems to be no further chance to hit the brakes or to pull back a bit.

This is a scary feeling. A new skier would never attempt an advanced trail, and yet here you are moving through this experience at a breathtaking pace. Everything seems out of your control. This might be a good time to make an assessment of what you can control. You can control being wholly present to a person who is dying. That doesn't seem like very much, but it is everything.

Together with Our Lady
When Mary, the mother of Jesus, was told that her Son had been arrested, her world also began to spin out of control. In truth, you are very much Mary's companion right now, just as she is yours. What you are living through, she has survived:

• Just as your access to your loved one is decreasing as their need for sleep increases, Mary's access to her Son was closed off.
• Like you, Mary had to stand by and watch helplessly while her loved one took on the "job of dying."
• Like you, Mary had to watch the one she loved let go of her to take His leave.
• Mary, too, had to let go, and to trust that she would see Him again.
• As you lean on family and friends, remember that Mary had John and Mary Magdalene beside her for support.
• After Jesus' death, Mary had to live and eat and worship with an imperfect "family," some of whom had let her -- and her Son -- down. It is not really a unique experience, as families go.

Being "wholly present" may not feel like you are doing very much. It may seem like a pitiful amount of "control" for an adult to have over any person or event. But as Mary taught us, being "present" to another person has power. It is saying, "I will be a witness to your whole life and death, so that all you are and have been will remain in me,when you have gone. And I will help you say goodbye."

Being wholly present to a dying person is a great responsibility, one that requires all the control of which you are capable.

In the midst of our very busy lives, the last thin we are likely to think about much is how to handle the details of death. for that very reason, when tragedy occurs, we often are faced with many details which we don't understand and about which we are not prepared to make decisions. This immensely practical book is instructive on several levels. Naturally, the main information conveyed is of those modern practicalities so that we can understand them not only conceptually but in relation to Church teachings. Pain management, organ donation, hospice care, living wills, grief management are but a few of the issues upon which this slender book gives straight forward information.

What raises this volume to a different level than a "how to" book, however, is the sensitive and thoughtful spiritual commentary that is intertwined with the practical information. As one can see in the above excerpt, the anguish our souls feel during such a time is met with reminders of how our faith is there to provide comfort and encouragement ... and even, possibly, beauty, grace, and joy.

As I read through this book, I was moved to contemplate Jesus' passion as experienced by those around him, which is most appropriate for this time of Lent as we draw closer to Holy Week. It is not the sort of book I would normally read but some of the images have remained with me and will doubtless feed my contemplation during Holy Week. This is a book that I would recommend everyone keep on hand for those unexpected times when our lives are thrown into anguish and we need solid advice of both the practical and spiritual sort. Highly recommended.

Superhero Highlight: Detective Lemon

Continuing the stories of superheroes devised by Hannah and Jenny (more about that can be found here as well as the first description)

Detective Lemon

Power: Shoots citrus out of wrists

Origin of power: During an attempt to make lemonade, the Detective foolishly stuck both hands in a blender while blending lemons (the Detective did not know how to make lemonade). Amazingly, she was unharmed, and the citrus was fused into her hands. She discovered her extraordinary power when disaster struck at a diner: the waitress brought NO lemons with the water. Distraught, the Detective pondered her fate, when suddenly citrus shot out her wrists, and into her suddenly-much-more-delicious beverage.

Cover: Mild-mannered private eye (a gorgeous private eye at that)

Cover name: Penelope Pennyworth

Introduction to partner: While searching for clues in a dumpster, the Detective came across a sleeping hobo (a gorgeous hobo at that): none other than . . . Hoborella! After the Detective treated Hoborella to a delicious brunch (with a slice of cantaloupe at the end) in exchange for information on the crime, the two forged an unbreakable bond and became a duo of justice.

Archnemesis: The waitress who forgot to bring the Detective her lemons. As a sidenote, justice was served: the Detective tipped very poorly on that and all subsequent visits.

==========

Next superhero feature coming: Hunky McDreamboat (ladies you are gonna like this one ...)

Worth a Thousand Words

Bailey sees a butterfly ... taken by fond father Always Jason.

Good Things for Dotty

Jane says:

A regular poster on one of my online groups is enduring a lot of family hardships right now. She’s a gentle and generous soul, and much loved by everyone there. She posted in asking if there’s really any good in the world.

Go over to Jane's, if you are so minded, and post a comment with one good thing in the world. Few people have just one thing. I put a small and a big thing. The small thing: puppy breath.

Playing Around with Google Reader

At long last taking The Curt Jester's advice, I'm touring around Google Reader ... specifically I wanted an easy way to let y'all know all the great stuff I'm finding ... without making you wait around for me to write it up. Not that it would stop me from commenting on some of them ...

Here's the test:


I like it ... this has real possibilities.

Need a Lunch Break?

You can't get anything more appropriate for today's cyberspace book tour by a Jesuit priest than ... wait for it ... St. Ignacio's Nachos.

Perfect! Check it out at Catholic Cuisine.

I'm pretty sure that St. Ignatius would want a margarita with that ... but he might wait until dinner.

First Friday and Our "Saint of the Day" - Dorothy Day

I forgot to mention that it is First Friday when some fellow bloggers and I fast and go to adoration for an end to abortion.

On my way out the door, I figured that I'd better have something to read ... so I grabbed Praying in the Presence of Our Lord with Dorothy Day by David Scott. (I'm not going to go into the series of circumstances that reminded me that I had it languishing in the bookshelf ... just take my word for it that it was fortituous to say the least).

Of course, that was just what I needed to be reading to really let the plight of babies, parents, and abortion providers sink into my heart in a new, universal way. As well as keeping the sidewalk counselors and all those working to help fight abortion in my prayers as well.

A sampling of what I came across:

Ten Meditations for Our Time

8. I love God as much as I love the one I love the least.

Father Hugo

9. Love in practice is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams.

Dostoyevsky

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The Seed of Divine Life

In a book by Hugh of St. Victor which I read once on the way from St. Paul to Chicago, there is a conversation between the soul and God about this love. The soul is petulant and wants to know what kind of a love is that which loves all indiscriminately, the thief and the Samaritan, the wife and the mother and the harlot?

The soul complains that it wishes a particular love, a love for herself alone. And God replies fondly that after all, since no two people are alike in this world, He has indeed a particular fondness for each one of us, an exclusive love to satisfy each one alone.

It is hard to believe in this love because it is a devouring love. It is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of a living God. If we do once catch a glimpse of it we are afraid of it. Once we recognize that we are sons of God, that the seed of divine life has been planted in us at baptism, we are overcome by that obligation placed upon us of growing in the love of God. And what we do not do voluntarily, He will do for us.

Now, as I was meditating upon all these things and much more, to be sure, in my mind's eye it was as if Dorothy was standing in front of me. I realized that I had become acquainted with her and then let her slip from my mind.

And when I realized this, she nodded and said forcefully, "Well, it's about time."

Bam!

Then I come back here and Father Martin's blog tour posts have Dorothy Day woven in everywhere. I can't look anywhere without seeing her being mentioned by someone.

Ok. Message received.

I believe I am going to reread On Pilgrimage and put a request into the library for The Long Loneliness (I think that's the name).

I must put in a personal thank you here to David Scott for his insistence on introducing me to Dorothy. He knew we'd get along and he was right.

Worth a Thousand Words

A True vacation spirit
Originally uploaded by Kenzoka

Candidate Comparisons

Now that we have it down to two candidates, The Onion makes it easy to compare them.

Saturday Night Live Appearance:
Solid
(See more here.)

Favorite Way To Mollify Supporters:
Nodding solemnly while gripping podium
(See more here.)

Seriously, this may be the only way I am able to get through the upcoming campaign. Thank goodness for The Onion!

Worth a Thousand Words

Lofty Mount Lu, by Shen Zhou, 1467.

I Just Called to Say I Love You: to the Beyond Cana Core Team

We had our monthly meeting last night of the couples that put on the Beyond Cana retreat for our parish.

I continue to be enlightened and inspired by these wonderful couples. More importantly once the cheesecake and coffee (and beer ... it's so good to be Catholic, y'all!) is gone, I have usually learned something that I can apply to my marriage. The topic last night was change and how it pulls couples closer together and closer to God. From one woman's sharing of her father-in-law's wisdom passed down before her marriage, to a husband's telling of how a big trial cemented their marriage, to another woman's realization that Jesus has us by the hand if we will simply relax and stop fighting him ... these are the things that I think about and that Tom and I discuss for days (and weeks sometimes) afterward.

As well as much more, of course.

These are such important reminders to Tom and me that we are not alone in seeing marriage as a great good that is worth the fight despite the occasional ups and downs we encounter. Beyond Cana continues to be such a blessing to us.

Thank you so much, y'all! For helping us to shape our marriage in the Truth, even as we minister to other couples by presenting the retreat.

Seeking the Kingdom in the Midst of Great Sorrow

Danny Gospel by David Athey

My grandmother had a forbidding apple face that seldom smiled, yet people knew that she loved them. Whenever we played a concert, she opened the show by softly strumming a few chords and then saying, "They call us the Gospel Family. On both sides of the family tree, we're farmers all the way back to the furrows of Adam and Eve. The Gospel Family has known joy, weeds, insects, war, and all kinds of suffering. We've had our share of death. And we know about resurrection. Just like your family, we've experienced what the world has to offer, good and bad. This first song is called 'This Little Light of Mine.'" ...

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Melissa asked, "Who is your favorite author?"

I sipped more spring water and thought about people like Dnte, Chesterton, Flannery O'Connor, and a host of others who loved words and the Word.

Jane tapped her ruby fingernails on the table. Tap, tap, tap. "Tell us," she said. Tap, tap--

"My grandmother," I said. "She wrote wonderful little stories. Every person she created was heroic and foolish and struggling to do God's will. Her characters were heavenly, and stuck in the Iowa soil, just trying to be normal and happy.

These two excerpts probably sum up David Athey's book more than I can otherwise say. Danny Gospel is heroic and foolish and struggling to do God's will while being normal and happy. The story he tells is full of all the elements that his grandmother calls up in her history of the Gospel family, especially in having their full share of suffering.

Athey has created a character, Danny Gospel, who lives in a world that most call dreamlike. In fact, some say that he is crazy. His life seems to be a patchwork of one parable after another as he seeks God despite many tragedies that have befallen his family and him personally. At times it can be somewhat difficult to discern when Danny has fallen into a daydream and when he is reporting reality, however, if the reader is prepared to drift along in Danny's world there is a great deal of insight to be found. For instance, one might begin by remembering that "Gospel" means "Good News." Or perhaps one would begin by remembering that Daniel was a prophet who spoke to angels and this character is named Danny. Even if one cares to look no further than the surface there is a great deal to be gleaned about seeking God in our lives from this novel.

One could also look at this as a cautionary tale of those who spend so much time looking for clues to God's plan that they forget the best way to do his will is by living in God's plan. In other words, life is what happens while we are living it ... and most of the time no amount of head scratching can see God's plan as clearly as Danny strives to. I am not criticizing the book or character here but that element spoke quite strongly to me as I have seen several friends put themselves through a considerable amount of mental anguish while trying to "discern." Most of the time it is in the little quirks of life and "happenstance" that God's will for us unfolds and this is something that we can also take from this book.

I must admit that I was so surprised by the ending that I read it three times to make sure I had all the details. I then pondered this book for several days. It is an unusual book that can make me do such a thing. What I concluded was that the author is conveying a story of salvation and redemption, of God's refusal to give up on us, and of the power of love.

I must also mention that in looking around the internet at other reviews I found a certain subset of readers who were baffled and dismayed by Athey's free-flowing style. Perhaps it is the great amount of science fiction that I have read, but being plunged into the midst of a story like this is a familiar experience. I am used to having to float and pick up contextual information while getting one's bearings. It is not that the author does not give us a framework, but that the protagonist is rather free-form in his own life and mind. In any event, if you give it some time then it becomes simple to adjust to it.

Recommended.

Worth a Thousand Words

Tango Dancers II in Las Ramblas

For more photos to take you to Spain, check out Barcelona Photoblog.

A Practical Guide for Evangelizing in the Real World

Guerrilla Apologetics for Catholics by Paul Nowak

Guerrilla Apologetics 101

Before going in into the details of using Guerrilla Apologetics, it is important that the goal is made clear. The purpose of using guerrilla apologetics is to turn the discussion into a conversation with give-and-take on both sides, and to plant seeds for God to develop in the other person's journey of faith.

You should NOT try to prove the other person wrong, or convert them on the spot. Your arguments, no matter how good they are, will not change someone else's mind. Only they, with God's grace can do that. Perhaps your openness about your faith will play a role in God's plan, but much of the time we do not see the immediate effects of the part we play.

Try to set up and maintain a dialog in which to argue points of faith--not a personal quarrel. Always refrain from making personal attacks or criticizing another's beliefs, even if they are overly critical of yours. Avoid hostile discussions, and walk away if the discussion is deteriorating into a quarrel.

Attitude is everything in Guerrilla Apologetics. If you fail to exercise tact and civility, your actions and tone will overshadow and taint your efforts. Ask questions with sincere curiosity, and respect the other person as an expert on their faith. After all, you would be offended if a non-Catholic accused you of not knowing your own faith, so do not make the same assumption about them ...

This is from the introduction to the book but I wanted to put it up front so that everyone could see just what end results this apologetics approach is striving to achieve. The label "Guerilla" seems to me to be rather unfortunate as it gives the impression of warfare which is not what apologetics should be, although unfortunately it is often what apologetics devolves into.

Essentially, the idea behind "guerrilla apologetics" is that rather than continually answer from a defensive posture if questions about Catholicism arise, one could and should ask the questioner some things relating to their faith. This then opens the door to the exchange becoming more of a give-and-take conversation rather than an attack or defense. For example, if one is asked why Catholics "pray to" saints, it is the perfect opportunity to basically explain the concept behind intercession and then ask the questioner if they have ever asked a friend or anyone to pray for them. It is with fair but real-life examples like these that the book is filled.

I like the idea of using one's knowledge to open a real conversation with a questioner, should the person be open to such conversing. This book continually reminds the reader that one must respect the other person in any such conversation and this is a praise worthy goal.

Nowak also wrote Guerrilla Pro-Life Apologetics. It also takes this approach of asking questions to open the door to conversation. Of course, to do this, one must know about the topic and he also has good resources listed in the back of each book for further research.

Recommended.

Guerrilla Apologetics for Life Issues by Paul Nowak