Something to Keep in Mind When Buying Christmas Gifts

LITTLE ABIGAIL AND THE BEAUTIFUL PONY

There was a girl named Abigail
Who was taking a drive
Through the country
With her parents
When she spied a beautiful sad-eyed
Grey and white pony.
And next to it was a sign
That said,
FOR SALE -- CHEAP.
"Oh," said Abigail,
"May I have that pony?
May I please?"
And her parents said,
"No you may not."
And Abigail said,
"But I MUST have that pony."
And her parents said,
"Well, you can't have that pony,
but you can have a nice butter pecan
Ice cream cone when we get home."
And Abigail said,
"I don't want a butter pecan
Ice cream cone,
I WANT THAT PONY --
I MUST HAVE THAT PONY."
And her parents said,
"Be quiet and stop nagging --
You're not getting that pony."
And Abigail began to cry and said,
"If I don't get that pony I'll die."
And her parents said, "You won't die.
No child ever died yet from not getting a pony."
And Abigail felt so bad
That when they got homeshe went to bed,
And she couldn't eat,
And she couldn't sleep,
And her heart was broken,
And she DID die --
All because of a pony
That her parents wouldn't buy.

(This is a good story
To read to your folks
When they won't buy
You something you want.)

Shel Silverstein, The Light in the Attic

The Reason for the Luminous Mysteries

Back in September, Mary posted the following:
"There are three influences which appear to Us to have the chief place in effecting this downgrade movement of society. These are-first, the distaste for a simple and labourious life; secondly, repugnance to suffering of any kind; thirdly, the forgetfulness of the future life."
Pope Leo XIII
Remedies:
Dislike of Poverty - The Joyful Mysteries
Repugnance to Suffering-The Sorrowful Mysteries
Forgetfulness of the Future - The Glorious Mysteries
She then asked:
"For what ill in society would the Luminous Mysteries be a remedy?"

Alicia at Fructis Ventris has the answer and it's a goooood one! I won't steal her thunder by telling her answer. You need to go read it for yourself. It makes perfect sense to me considering that we were given the Luminous Mysteries in this day and age. The Luminous Mysteries are my favorites and I am going to be even fonder of them when keeping her reflections in mind.

CRHP Central, How May I Help You?

Last night we had a wonderful concentration of CRHP sisters in our lives for about an hour. Arlene called to see about Hannah's availability for babysitting but I didn't surrender the phone until we had a chance to catch up with each other. Tammy dropped by to visit between leaving her office and going to the gym. While we were chatting and she was getting a very sketchy cooking lesson watching me cook dinner, she got a call from Holly. Nothing like shouting "Hello" at a cell phone from across the kitchen is there?

As Tammy was leaving, dear "Veronica" called, ostensibly searching for a babysitter. It also seems that "Veronica is on the Verge" of learning to do sidebars for her blog ... so she'll be dropping by my house Monday evening for a lesson. Actually, "Veronica's" been a very busy bee getting a lot of people excited about scrapbooking (not me) or knitting (YES me!) 'n' praise sessions. She's also getting ready to run our Women's Prayer Meeting on Sunday. I don't know when she's going to have time for blogging ... speaking of which, it is really fun to talk to someone in person about your favorite blogs, which is a luxury I don't have except when Veronica and I chat like that.

Anyway, there's nothing like a flurry of friends to remind me of how blessed I am to have them in my life, all because I joined up for a weekend retreat. Thank you, Lord!

Christ in Christmas

Don't look for Christ in the abstract or "spiritual"; look for him in the familiar. We don't need to "keep Christ in Christmas," he never left! They can't get rid of him, no matter how hard they try. "Happy Holidays" and "Winter Solstice" concerts can't erase him. Throughout the country secular radio stations are playing songs that sing explicitly of Jesus. On Christmas Day millions of Christians witness to Christ by going to church, where they gather in his name. Be they regular Mass goers or the Christmas and Easter crowd, the ultimate and objective reason for their presence is Jesus Christ. Whether or not they are attentive or feel holy or want to be there, their very presence in the church points to the presence of Jesus ...

If we are attentive, then even the commercialization of Christmas cannot obscure him: when you see a house gaudily lit and decorated, when you eagerly breathe in the smell of pine, when you keep age-old traditions of cooking and baking in absurd abundance, or wrapping presents, both practical and unnecessary, in bright paper and bows, or participating in concerts and caroling in schools and nursing homes and all kinds of places. Why? Why this attack on all of our senses? Because God has entered history; he came to us through our ordinary senses! He is a light in the darkness that can be seen! All these traditions point back to Christ.

Let us not lament what is missing but rejoice in his Presence. The manger left a lot to be desired, but it carried the Desire of Nations. Why don't we recognize him today? Because we don't expect to find him in our imperfect family, in our own weak humanity, and in the crass hubbub that can surround Christmas. But it all points to him! He is here! He has come and is still with us in and through all that is familiar to us. Come, let us recognize him and adore him.

Father Richard Veras, Magnificat magazine

Microsoft Blogging Software

The Curt Jester was good enough to test Microsoft's new blogging system. No joke, they really are doing one. It actually looks a lot better than I thought it would and he says it's easy to use. Go see what all the fuss is about.

Iraqi Terror Alert System

I don't know how The Onion manages to keep coming up this stuff but I had to laugh out loud.

Giving to the Homeless, Face to Face

(This post has been updated and reposted here)

The first time I ever saw a beggar was in Paris, 18 years ago. She was across the street and Tom said, "Don't look at her." Of course, I did and she began screaming invective and shaking her fist at me. It's a good thing my French wasn't very fluent or I'm sure my ears would have burned. Everywhere we went there were beggars. It was deeply troubling for someone like me who had never seen such a thing before. Tom, whose family lived in London for several years, was more blasé. He taught me to ignore them and that they were making plenty of money off of the population at large. I did make him give to a couple of WWII veterans who were playing music for their coins but at least they had sacrificed something for their country ... they had done something to deserve our charity.

I wasn't Christian then; I wasn't even sure if God existed. Nothing other than popular thought occurred to me in those situations. That was saved for 15 years later in 2001 when we went back to Paris and London with the girls. I had converted by then, we attended Mass weekly, and they went to Catholic school with religion lessons every day. It was fairly common to see the homeless on street corners but we were insulated by the car and traffic flow. These up close encounters with beggars in Europe were different. Tom and I gave the standard "making money off the crowd" explanation but it didn't sit very well, especially with the Christian precepts that had taken hold by then.

Then, one evening, I read this quote.

There are those who say to the poor that they seem to look to be in such good health: "You are so lazy! You could work. You are young. You have strong arms."

You don't know that it is God's pleasure for this poor person to go to you and ask for a handout. You show yourself as speaking against the will of God.

There are some who say: "Oh, how badly he uses it!" May he do whatever he wants with it! The poor will be judged on the use they have made of their alms, and you will be judged on the very alms that you could have given but haven't.

St. John Vianney

You certainly couldn't get much clearer than those words. St. John Vianney covered pretty much every objection I ever thought of for giving to the poor. That was my wake-up call and the end of ignoring beggars. We were supplied with handfuls of coins that were distributed at large as we went through the subway stations. When I got home I stocked the car with granola bars and bottles of water. I passed them out at every street corner we stopped at. I never have any cash on me and they almost always had signs saying "Will work for food" so it seemed a good match.

Then Dallas passed a law against any panhandling on street corners and, for the most part, the homeless disappeared from sight. I had gotten used to being on the lookout for people to give my granola bars to and now the corners seemed very empty.

About that time, I was the leader of a Catholic women's group that met weekly. One evening our discussion became a debate over two strategies of giving to the homeless. One group believed in giving to people as they were encountered. The other countered with stories of scam artists and believed in giving to organizations who would distribute goods and cash in the most beneficial way to the needy. Two things stuck with me after that meeting though. The first was that my friend, Rita, said she was troubled by those who didn't want to give face to face because "they don't know what blessings they may be depriving themselves of." Once again I remembered St. John Vianney's quote.

The second thing occurred to me as I listened to the debate. Jesus never said anything about helping the poor by giving to the local temple or soup kitchen. He said:

"For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me."

Then the righteous will answer him and say, "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?"

And the king will say to them in reply, "Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me."

Matthew 25: 35-40

Tom and I do support organized charities and I know they reach farther than I ever could personally. This is not an argument against those organizations. However, I think that we cannot rest with those contributions. I believe that if we have a personal encounter with the needy it is because they have been sent to us for their good and our own. If we turn them away, then we are turning Christ Himself away and what blessings are we sending away with Him?

This was reinforced for me during a retreat I attended a few weeks ago. Somehow the debate over how to give to the homeless came up along those old familiar lines, not just once but twice. Each time I trotted out my St. John Vianney quote. Then my friend, Mauri, said that when she looked at those unfortunates she saw people she knew. For instance, she has a schizophrenic nephew who doesn't want to take his meds so he has been found wandering only in his boxers in a Chicago suburb. A confused old lady at the bank reminded her of her mother and Mauri found a discreet way to help her while preserving her dignity. She reminded me of the worth and dignity of each of these people. She later sent me this story which is the perfect example of looking past the surface to the real person that is there in front of us.

Today at the post office I saw this man going through the garbage -- I think looking for food as he was going through a discarded fast food bag and picked out left over bun from the bag, emptied the bag of the other garbage, and then used the bag to neatly wrap up the left over bun and then placed it in his satchel. You could tell that he still had his pride as he looked well kept, although worn and a bit "dusty". He was not begging in any way. Just walking through the strip center where the post office was.

I wanted to help as I sensed that he was hungry, but he was not asking for help and he did not approach me in anyway. I was so worried to bruise his pride, but could not stand the thought of him only having the leftover bun for food. I got out of my car with $5 and asked him if he was hungry. He said he was fine but hesitantly. I gave him the money and told him that I had many of times when I was hungry but didn't have the cash on me to go through McDonalds or grab a sandwich. I told him to take it for when he might need it. I don't think I hurt his pride. His eyes were so kind.

I only wish I had asked his name ... He looked like he might have been mid 60s. I should have given him more money. I can't get him out of my mind. He could have been someone's grandfather, father, etc.

I am so grateful to Mauri for bringing me to this phase in my awareness of the homeless. Each of them was some mother's baby, a tiny toddler learning to walk, a laughing boy or girl at school. We must remember that when we are looking at these people who can seem so frightening or strange or manipulative. I pray that someday I can look at these people and find my vision is perfect ... I hope that someday I can look at a homeless person and see Jesus Himself. In this quest I think we can not do better than to take the advice of someone who achieved perfect vision and sought out her beloved Jesus in the homeless.

Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.

Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

Equal Representation

My sister got this from a friend who is a Democrat. A nice touch and hilarious to boot!

Healing Poetry

The election is over,
the talking is done.
My side has lost,
and your side has won.
Now, let's all pull together,
and let bitterness pass.
I'll hug your elephant,
and you can kiss my ass.

Depp-alicious

FINDING NEVERLAND
Rose really was determined to see Finding Neverland, being a Johnny Depp fan. And who am I to deny her that? For one thing I was so grateful that two of her other picks were rated R ("Troy" and "Alexander") so I was happy that this was something I might enjoy. For another, I am not immune to Johnny Depp's charms and he was in practically every scene. It was really good but totally an art house film. I love going to The Angelica, one of our three art house theaters nearby and was happy to see it was playing there.

Finding Neverland is the story of J.M. Barrie (Depp), the famous playwright, who becomes great friends with a widow and her four irascible sons. The only holdout to Barrie's imagination and charm is Peter who is mourning the untimely death of his father and resents silliness. Barrie's friendship with the widow leads to trouble with his wife and scoldings from the widow's formidable mother, played by Julie Christie with great assurance. I loved seeing Christie look every inch the dowager but yet still beautiful without botox and dyed hair. Also really well done were the scenes that flipped back and forth between Barrie's imagination and the games he played with the boys. Another favorite moment was watching the audience as they watched the premiere of Peter Pan. Seeing Barrie's ploy to gain society's acceptance of a play that was essentially a children's tale was really enjoyable. Every performance was right on the money. The film overall was magical.

We all agreed that it was just as well that Tom didn't go (not really a guy's movie) although he probably would enjoy seeing it at home when the DVD comes out.

The Sin That is Different

"Each one of us, if we examine our conscience well, will realize that apart from all the sins we commit, there is one that is different because we are more ready to commit it. It is that sin to which we are secretly attached and which we confess but without a real will to give it up. It is that sin we think we can never free ourselves of because, in fact, we do not want to free ourselves of it or, at least, not right now... Sin enslaves us until we truly say "enough!" Then it loses almost all its power over us ...

But what must we do exactly? In a moment of recollection let us kneel down in God's presence and say to him: "Lord, you know my weakness and I know it too. Trusting therefore only in your grace and faithfulness I declare that from now on I no longer want that particular satisfaction, that particular freedom, friendship, resentment, that particular sin ...; I want to accept the idea of having to live without it from now on. I have finished with sin and with that particular sin. I repeat, enough of that! Help me with your Spirit. Renew in me a firm spirit, keep my heart generous. I consider myself dead to sin." After this, sin no longer reigns simply because you no longer want it to reign; it was, in fact, in your will that it reigned. There may be no apparent change, those around us may still notice the same faults in us, but where God is concerned something has changed because our freedom is now on God's side.

However, we must insist on one thing: this decision must be put into practice right away, otherwise it can easily get lost."

Father Raniero Cantalamessa, O.F.M. Cap., preacher to the papal household

Feeling the Power of Prayer

I have had people tell me that they knew my prayers helped them or that they could feel people were praying for them. I have had many times when I experienced answers to the prayers of me and others but never anything immediate ... until Thursday. That was when I wrote a quick note about needing to get back the joy of Christmas.

My dear CRHP sister, Deb, wrote that she was praying for me. She knew what I needed when I didn't myself. For some reason I was feeling desperate about this problem. Why? I don't know but I just was. I read Deb's warm response and thought, "Jesus, give me the joy." Then I thought I'd just look at one more blog before going back to work and wound up at M'Lynn's where I read a passage that refocused my thoughts and eased my heart ... instantly. (I have to note here that every time I get a quick response to something I'm always ordering Him around ... no "please" or "if it's in Your will." It is never deliberate but just something I realize when looking back.)

Not only was I not dreading Christmas preparations but I was filled with an active, joyful anticipation of cookie making, shopping, decorating ... everything. M'Lynn is insightful and a great writer but that would be a lot to ask from any one inspirational paragraph ... unless it was direct, immediate answer to Deb's prayer. Wow! What a powerful lesson and how thankful I am for it!

Turning this over in my mind throughout the day, I then followed a statcounter link back to a new blog, Martha2. Not only do I feel that "Martha" connection (she ain't my patron saint for nothin'), but I admired what I read about the resolution to a chance meeting with a girl who broke her son's heart, and then there was her most recent post from today.

can you feel it now? some, somehow.
there are always times in my life when i am asking someone to remember me in prayer, or mostly to remember my family if we are going through a hard time.

for whatever reason, i just thought i'd report for those of you who are praying for me (us?) that for today, it feels like they are working. i feel almost "normal" today, and for that, i am thankful.
Martha2

I think there's a fair chance we may be on the same wavelength.

Quick Book Reviews

MURDER ON THE IDITAROD TRAIL by Sue Henry

Only the toughest and the most able come to compete in this annual torturous test of endurance, skill, and courage. Now, suddenly and inexplicably, the top Iditarod contestants are dying one by one in bizarre and gruesome ways.

I found this more interesting for the explanation of what it is like to run the Iditarod race. The details of taking care of the dogs, what the mushers endure, and how the race is set up are the thread that takes us through the story. The mystery and writing were average. I won't be checking out another by this author for that reason.

FRIED CHICKEN: An American Story by John T. Edge

John T. Edge weaves a beguiling tapestry of food and culture as he takes us from a Jersey Shore hotel to a Kansas City roadhouse, from the original Buffalo wings to KFC, from Nashville Hot Chicken to haute fried chicken at a genteel Southern inn.

You have to be interested in both food history and reading about fried chicken to like this book. I fit this description and found this little book very enjoyable. Edge has a comfortable, conversational style and provides 15 recipes to go alone with his voyage of discovery. I liked this enough to request the next in this series, "Apple Pie," from the library.

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

HEIFER INTERNATIONAL

Since they received goats from Heifer, the members of Zambia's Evergreen Women's Club have been able to provide life-saving milk for their children, grow valuable crops to support their families and help their neighbors support themselves.

Lilly Daka, a group member and mother of 10, says her children were thrilled to get their goats, "After the goats, there was such an excitement in the house and enthusiasm to look after them. The offspring have given us milk and improved the appearance and health of our children."

The women are also using their Heifer skills and training to raise healthy animals. Justina Nawa, a group member, says, "HPI has educated us on how to keep the goats. I now assist my neighbors. I have passed on the gift of knowledge and advised them about ... medicine to care for their diseases."

In addition to caring for their families, the women are caring for the environment. They're using goat manure to grow crops so they don't damage the soil with chemical fertilizer. According to Justina, "We have been taught that when we use chemicals we destroy the soil and with manure it is healthy."

Through their hard work and commitment, the women have gained a strong sense of pride and accomplishment. They're passing on their gifts to help other families in the community become self-reliant.

Lilly is moved by the opportunity to give to her neighbors, "We are so excited to Pass on the Gift to another family. I still follow up and visit them as we have become friends. ... They are now part of my family."

This is one of my favorite charities. Heifer International donates livestock like pigs, ducks, chickens, water buffalo or ... heifers, of course. The communities learn to care for the animals, make money from the eggs, milk, etc., and then pass on offspring to other needy families and communities to help them in turn. It is a self-sustaining process that improves lives and gives new hope. If I don't know what to give someone, they often get a card telling that a gift of honeybees has been given in their name. Check out this very worthwhile cause.

The Bible, Is There Anything It Can't Do?

The second divinely authored meditation book is Sacred Scripture. Splendid as are the marvels of our universe all the way from the incredibly tiny to the vastly enormous, and all that lies in between, far more awesome and enrighing are the truths of divine revelation. The Author of these two books has made nothing boring or prosaic [the first book being nature, as mentioned in yesterday's post]. Boredom comes not from reality but from people who are only half alive. The truths of this second source can be read from Scripture itself, from any solid theology book or biblical commentary, from the lives of the saints, and from the best spiritual reading, mainly from the classics. For example, you have noticed in this primer references to "CCC", the Catechism of the Catholic Church, for further developments of what we are describing in these pages. This single volume has literally thousands of mediation subjects full of grace, truth,and beauty. Rich mines are available for the asking. It is up to you to take advantage of them. (Prayer Primer: Igniting a Fire Within by Thomas Dubay, S.M.)

It is impossible to say how very deeply I feel that Scripture is indeed God's living word. As mentioned in previous posts, my "Bible flip" experiences went a long way toward proving that very thing. Even without that frame of reference I think that Dubay is correct in pointing out what a rich resource Scripture is for meditative prayer. Someone last weekend said that a friend of theirs claimed the Bible as her favorite book. "It's got everything," she said, "Humor, drama, sex, romantic love, nobility ... " I hadn't thought of it that way but it is so true. It qualifies as the perfect "desert island" book.

God's Everyday Cathedral

...we said a few words about input for reflection. A bit more needs to be added. God is the author of two books that bountifully provide numberless topics for pondering: the book of created reality, our awesome universe, and the inspired book of the Scriptures. First, creation. If one delves deeply enough into it, every reality in our cosmos is seen to be splendid beyond our wildest expectations: a grain of sand, an atom, a living cell, a leaf, a bird, a star, a galaxy. It is no exaggeration to say that each of these things is astonishing. Always we find that the more we discover, the more we find endless vistas of what we did not expect and more of what we do not know. Scientists constantly experience this phenomenon. If we are vibrantly alive to reality, we learn that there is no end to what can and should trigger awe, wonder, praise, thanksgiving, and love. (Prayer Primer: Igniting a Fire Within by Thomas Dubay, S.M.)

I always have been drawn to nature and this is just a natural extension of what I experienced in the country this weekend. I really can't improve on what Dubay says here. It's a perfect expression of my feelings.

Back from Retreat

The retreat was wonderful. There wound up being 13 of us and I knew only 3 really well. It was such a pleasure to get to a deeper level of friendship with the others who I already admired from monthly Prayer Meeting attendance and CRHP weekend support. There also was a group of kids and youth ministers there from a Garland parish (near Dallas) for a confirmation retreat. These kids were really nice and it was truly inspirational to see their level of involvement in worship when they graciously invited us to share their evening Mass.

We had a lot of time to be in solitude with nature, which I think I remember Steve Bogner at Catholicism, spirituality and holiness mentioning from a week or two ago. I haven't been to the country for a long time and it was luxurious to be able to wander through paths in the woods looking at God's creation. When we did the Stations of the Cross outside as a group it was a totally different experience than I had ever had when doing them in the usual Friday setting in a church. Nature really is God's everyday cathedral and I am so glad that I went if only to be reminded of that fact, even if it DID take a two hour drive to get there!

I felt I had been called to this retreat for some reason and that was dramatically revealed in three parts. I won't mention any specifics here other than to say I am at this point pondering just how to pass on the message I was given for someone else. Weird sounding I know but very clearly this is what I am to do.

The other pleasure came when I returned home. I was ready to gladly serve my family by grocery shopping, washing clothes, cooking dinner, etc. When I came home it was done. The house was clean, all chores were done, Rose cooked dinner (chicken in mustard sauce, mmm mmm good!), and one of the dogs had been pining away until I returned. What else could I ask? It was a very generous and kind gift given to me by my loving family

Then to top it off, my blogging "gang" of Julie M., Alexa, Rebecca, and Kalanna had been doing some round robin impressions about blogs they read regularly. It was like a little gift in itself to read what Julie M. had written about this blog (ok, ME!). Thanks gang!

Now I'm renewed so it's time for me to remember the message I was given before I left to give, give, give. I got a call tonight that gave me that very opportunity. Just as I was turning over in my mind the idea that answering this request was not going to be very convenient for me, "give, give, give" echoed through my mind. I remembered that it was the things that weren't convenient that were the occasions for such giving. So I quit looking for excuses, did what I was asked and did it GLADLY by the way, and was blessed in the process. When will I learn that is so often the case? Guess I just have to keep on getting these reminders.

Once again, my kind and loving family also gave ... cheerfully letting me go out into the night for a couple of hours for this task. How I am blessed. God is good.

Tracking Down Mary

There was once a fourth famous Virgin of Chartres; a silver image crafted in the thirteenth century. She no longer exists, though a depiction ofher may still be seen in one of the windows, where a pilgrim is shown praying to her. Her story proves that vandalism is not exclusively the province of revolutionaries.

This Virgin was greatly venerated in the Middle Ages; indeed, she held the place of honor above that altar. Yet at some point her popularity went into decline ...

For the next two centuries she forged on, doing her best despite reduced conditions. But then came the debt crunch of the 1760s. The canons of the cathedral went casting about for any little scrap of gold or silver. In a note signed April 6, 1769, Germain Blonnie, a goldsmith of Chartres, acknowledged receipt of twenty-four livres for "melting down the Christ and the Virgin of the old altar." The little silver Virgin had been turned into ingots to pay for Carrara marble ...

It is horrifying to think that an image that had received so many prayers over the centuries could be so blithely destroyed. Then again, the Church could reply that works of religious art are intended to be not receptacles for prayer, but windows to a higher reality; that one prays through, not to, an image. A statue of Mary is not Mary, and maybe it's better to melt down the images from time to time before they turn into idols.

VIRGIN TRAILS: A Secular Pilgrimage
by Robert Ward

An avowed atheist, Ward indulged his long held desire to walk on pilgrimage in going to various Marian shrines throughout Europe. In doing so he presents one of the clearest and most even handed views of pilgrimage and these shrines that I have ever read. He gives the history for each place, which includes Lourdes, Chartres, and Fatima. We then share his experiences in current day surroundings and see the many types of pilgrims that also are at these shrines. Atheist or not, Ward has an excellent understanding of the Catholic Church's view and is more open minded in many cases than some Catholics I know. Highly recommended.

Cultural Differences

Talking with CF about colleges. She's a client and a friend with daughters who are slightly older than Hannah and Rose.

CF: So what is Hannah interested in studying?

Me: She's interested in zoology; maybe thinking of being an environmental scientist.

CF, eyes lighting up, instantly enthusiastic: Oh, that would be wonderful! Wouldn't you be PROUD for her to do something so worthwhile? That would really be a career to be PROUD of!

Me: *silent while trying to think of what to say, thinking, "What is she talking about?"*

CF: I mean THAT is something you could be so proud of! She would be doing something that makes a difference!

Me: *feebly doing my best* Well, she'd be very practical. It would be good to have someone in that field who is down to earth."

CF then goes on to talk about her daughter's possible career choice that would make her so proud.

So you get the drift. Tom was there too and we both were having real trouble wrapping our minds around why CF was so crazy about this particular career. It took a while for me to figure out the missing piece, why I didn't connect with CF, and then it hit: CF is Jewish. I guess sometimes those stereotypes ring true. When I remembered that I thought, "Oh right, my son the doctor..."

I thought it was interesting that CF actually DID care what particular career her daughter would choose and equally interesting that it never occurred to us to care about one career more than another. For Tom and me the ideal career is the one Hannah was meant for and the whole idea is for her to discover what that is. Admittedly I take this idea further than Tom but we both agree on the basics. It really never occurred to either of us to "steer" her toward one thing or another because it is a voyage of self discovery. If she's happy, fullfilled, and earning a living that's enough for us. Not to say that I wouldn't brag shamelessly if she was a brilliant scientist ... any regular HC readers know I already do that for much, much less.

I truly feel, however, that each person has their place in the plan. This was brought home to us when Tom and I had a date on Saturday and, after getting all "likkered up" on margaritas and Mexican food, went to Dillard's to buy ourselves some shoes. (Woohoo! Do we know how to have fun or what?) Not only does our Dillard's have the largest shoe selection in several states but they also understand that skilled salespeople make a difference. We left that store and Tom said, "That is like the Stepford department store ... it's the perfect store. All those sales people were so good!" Part of the secret was that I ignored the young sales people who were standing around chatting with each other, glancing at my scuffed loafers and rolling their eyes. I honed in on the experienced ones who were chasing down customers to make the sale ... which included great service, knowing the stock, and thinking about the customers' needs. If Hannah or Rose wound up selling shoes and were as good at it as those people I'd be PROUD ... just as proud as if one becomes an environmental scientist.

Monsieur Incroyable!

THE INCREDIBLES
I loved this movie. It is about a family of super heroes in a time when they have to hide all their talents because collateral damage lawsuits have made it prohibitively expensive for the government to allow them to be heroic. Not only is it in the best tradition of James Bond and super heroes but writer and director Brad Bird obviously knows and loves family life. Where else would you see Mr. Incredible and his wife, Elasti-Girl, racing to the rescue while simultaneously continuing an argument about domestic issues?

My favorite point was made several times and, indeed, was one of the main thrusts of the movie's message. In a world where everyone gets an award, where "graduations" are held in 4th grade so the kids feel special, where everyone must be acknowledged as "super," ultimately there is nothing left for everybody but the same level of mediocrity.

I can't remember which critic said this but this really is a movie for the parents where the kids can tag along. That doesn't mean the kids won't thoroughly enjoy it though. We saw it in a theater predominantly filled with tiny kids and they loved it. In fact, one of the things we all enjoyed most was a little boy who was so into the move that he would shout out comments to his mother, "Oh no, Mommy, what will they do now?"

This movie deserves every penny of the $70 million it made last weekend. That also makes me happy for Brad Bird whose excellent "Iron Giant" was abandoned by the studio practically before it got to theaters. He and Pixar deserve acclaim for combining originality, humor, suspense, spy spoofing, family values and "heart" in a movie that I liked better than anything else I have seen all year.

(Why the French headline? A tribute to my favorite villain of the movie, Bomb Voyage, who only spoke French and had mime face paint.)

On Being the "Older Woman"

Elena at My Domestic Church talks about when she realized that she had become the "older woman" from Titus 2.

3: Similarly, older women should be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to drink, teaching what is good,
4: so that they may train younger women to love their husbands and children,
5: to be self-controlled, chaste, good homemakers, under the control of their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited.

This made realize that I first felt like the "older woman" a year ago last May when I was in our CRHP team of about 30 people. It had a large proportion of unmarried, 20-something women. I was one of the oldest, which is pretty amazing since I was only 46 at the time. I was by no means the wisest of these wonderful women. However, because of the subjects that came up, I realized that I had some life experiences to share that many of them had not yet come across. Even though that team time is over I still find myself doling out advice in the same way (and every so often that advice was even solicited!). This is not a role I ever would have predicted for myself. It is not a role I have among mothers of college age or older kids but I now know so many young women that it comes up frequently. Elena's reflections are much deeper than mine especially I never really thought about it until reading her insightful post. I'm glad she was thinking about this and got it all on "paper."