Cultural Differences

Talking with CF about colleges. She's a client and a friend with daughters who are slightly older than Hannah and Rose.

CF: So what is Hannah interested in studying?

Me: She's interested in zoology; maybe thinking of being an environmental scientist.

CF, eyes lighting up, instantly enthusiastic: Oh, that would be wonderful! Wouldn't you be PROUD for her to do something so worthwhile? That would really be a career to be PROUD of!

Me: *silent while trying to think of what to say, thinking, "What is she talking about?"*

CF: I mean THAT is something you could be so proud of! She would be doing something that makes a difference!

Me: *feebly doing my best* Well, she'd be very practical. It would be good to have someone in that field who is down to earth."

CF then goes on to talk about her daughter's possible career choice that would make her so proud.

So you get the drift. Tom was there too and we both were having real trouble wrapping our minds around why CF was so crazy about this particular career. It took a while for me to figure out the missing piece, why I didn't connect with CF, and then it hit: CF is Jewish. I guess sometimes those stereotypes ring true. When I remembered that I thought, "Oh right, my son the doctor..."

I thought it was interesting that CF actually DID care what particular career her daughter would choose and equally interesting that it never occurred to us to care about one career more than another. For Tom and me the ideal career is the one Hannah was meant for and the whole idea is for her to discover what that is. Admittedly I take this idea further than Tom but we both agree on the basics. It really never occurred to either of us to "steer" her toward one thing or another because it is a voyage of self discovery. If she's happy, fullfilled, and earning a living that's enough for us. Not to say that I wouldn't brag shamelessly if she was a brilliant scientist ... any regular HC readers know I already do that for much, much less.

I truly feel, however, that each person has their place in the plan. This was brought home to us when Tom and I had a date on Saturday and, after getting all "likkered up" on margaritas and Mexican food, went to Dillard's to buy ourselves some shoes. (Woohoo! Do we know how to have fun or what?) Not only does our Dillard's have the largest shoe selection in several states but they also understand that skilled salespeople make a difference. We left that store and Tom said, "That is like the Stepford department store ... it's the perfect store. All those sales people were so good!" Part of the secret was that I ignored the young sales people who were standing around chatting with each other, glancing at my scuffed loafers and rolling their eyes. I honed in on the experienced ones who were chasing down customers to make the sale ... which included great service, knowing the stock, and thinking about the customers' needs. If Hannah or Rose wound up selling shoes and were as good at it as those people I'd be PROUD ... just as proud as if one becomes an environmental scientist.