Surviving Infidelity

It was October 9, 2009 ... almost a year ago ... when we were astounded by this plea from Pansy, one of the Two Sleepy Mommies:

"My 36-year old husband has been cheating on me with a 22-year old girl. He is leaving us for her (we have been married 15 1/2 years and have seven children). If that isn't bad enough, he is home now and is berating me and telling me why it is all my fault. I found conversations between he and this girl where they laugh at me behind my back. I knew it was going on for some time, but I found the evidence and it all came to a head a few hours ago. I have to change my life in the next few hours practically, financially, deal with this emotionally and all the above and I don't know how I can take my next breath."

Almost a year later, we hear from Pansy again with much brighter news and a future full of hope.

As of now, we are surviving, we are building a new marriage and our old marriage is dead and gone. It's is withered and decayed and the new one is bright and filled with hope. As of right now, I love my husband more than I ever have. We are not merely "riding it out". Everything is new again. I place the "blame" on you, Dear People. When this broke, my husband was very lost. He will tell you he was in the darkest place he has ever been. He was evil or surrounded by evil, not sure. He was depressed, he obviously wasn't thinking straight and the more he made bad choices, the worse he felt, and in turn would make more bad choices. He was just piling more "spiritual muck" onto himself. As Mark Shea says "sin makes you stupid". So many men I see who take the route my husband have become literally unreachable under all that muck. When you all reached out and prayed, my husband will tell you it was around that time he started to wake up and come out the fog. This wasn't an immediate process and at first, he fought it, but it was a way for God to grab him and take hold and slowly start clearing that muck away. ...

Read Words Cannot Express My Gratitude where Pansy shares their experiences as well as some very good resources for sticking with a marriage and not giving up. (Via New Advent.)

Cursed: The Book Review

I am not going to make a list ... not going to make a list ... because

1. everyone else has already done it
2. I don't have the way with lists that Jeremy Shipp does
3. I've got tons of list in my own life already

...

D'OH!

...

Nick and Cicely are friends. They also are cursed. Each person's curse is different and each curse is relatively minor, all things considered, yet each affects their lives in deeper ways that bring gloom and foreboding. They go to work to discover who has cursed them so they can try to lift the curse.

I read it in 2 days. I couldn't put it down. Not only was the writing compelling as I tore through it to find out who had set the curse, I also was increasing anxious and worried as I went because I was terrified that one of the characters I knew would be the perpetrator. Terrified? Yes, that is just how fond I became of Nick, Cicely, Gordon, Abby, and the others. Although I will pause here to say that Cicely's quirkiness was relentless and I felt relieved when she became anxious enough to drop it for a little while. The story did horrify me several times but without ever having to completely show me something horrible. He knew just how far to engage my imagination without rubbing my face in something horrific. That is a rare talent and surprisingly considerate of the reader.

Although Shipp has a talent for humorous writing and likable characters, he has a talent for something far deeper ... internal conflict wound around caring for others. We see this in Nick's thoughts and the others' actions. By the end of the books, we have seen people act on levels of sacrifice, redemption, and love that was almost ... I've got to say it, right? ... Catholic. I say "almost" because Shipp isn't Catholic, but he's got a groundedness in caring about the truth, reality, and the human person that is palpable.

Oh, and the lists? Nick thinks in lists and it becomes a habit that any reader soon wants to mimic. The amazing thing is how Shipp carries a lot of the action of the book through those lists.

Well done indeed.

So well done, in fact, that although I read the book in pdf form on my new Kindle (yes, you know, you know), I have put it on my Amazon wish list. I want it for reals ... in my own hands-on edition.

Novena to St. Michael the Archangel

Jason from Catholic Dads invites us to join them in beginning a novena to St. Michael.

September 29 is the feast day of Saint Michael, Saint Gabriel, and Saint Raphael, Archangels.

We invite all Catholic Dads to pray the Novena to St. Michael beginning on September 21. The last day of the Novena will then fall on the September 29 feast day.

I'm glad to be reminded of it. I have a special fondness for the archangels and angels in general, though of late I have forgotten when their feast day falls. So this is very timely.

I am posting the prayer below, for my own personal reference, but Catholic Dads will be posting it every day, if you swing by there.

Glorious St. Michael, guardian and defender of the Church of Jesus Christ,
come to the assistance of His followers,
against whom the powers of hell are Unchained.
Guard with special care our Holy Father, the Pope, and our bishops, priests,
all our religious and lay people, and especially the children.

St. Michael, watch over us during life,
defend us against the assaults of the demon,
and assist us especially at the hour of death.
Help us achieve the happiness of beholding God face to face for all eternity. Amen.

St. Michael, intercede for me with God in all my necessities, especially:

(state your specific request or intention here)

Obtain for me a favorable outcome in the matter I recommend to you.
Mighty prince of the heavenly host, and victor over rebellious spirits,
remember me for I am weak and sinful and so prone to pride and ambition.
Be for me, I pray, my powerful aid in temptation and difficulty,
and above all do not forsake me in my last struggle with the powers of evil.
Amen.

In Non-Kindle Related News ...

... Hannah, falling prey to that impulse which sooner or later evidently grabs every Vet Tech and forces them to adopt a stray, brought home a little German Shepherd mix puppy.

He's about 3-1/2 months old, very sweet, and evidently has lived a life without any socialization whatsoever out in the countryside. A week ago, when he was first brought in, he would just try to dig his way out through the corner of whatever room he was in when a person came by. By the time that Hannah brought him home (after first asking permission with her own puppy-dog eyes working overtime), he had adjusted enough so that he actually was enjoying petting. The second day she brought him home, he endearingly raced around the house with his tale wagging and head high, a doggy grin on his face. You could imagine him saying, "Back again! This heavenly place does exist!"

The only problem is that he is extremely aggressive to other dogs. I don't mean that he growls or shows his teeth, although he does those things quite well. I mean that he flies at the first dog he sees ready to tear their faces off.

Which quite took the Boxers aback, as you can imagine.

You could see the big question mark over Wash's head as he asked himself, "What is this guy's problem? Why won't he play?"

Zoe was better prepared through her tougher personality but even she flinched before stepping up with a growl and raised hackles. Even then, though, her tail was still wagging.

Gotta love those Boxers.

However, after just two evenings and the weekend with us shuffling dogs from area to area behind a dog gate or in crates, little Zapp (for Zapp Brannigan, don't you know) has made more huge leaps in adjusting.

He now will lie quietly a lot of the time, even sleeping with the other dogs nearby (all are suitably restrained, as I said). In fact, during a Boxers-in-crates session he deliberately went and laid next to Zoe's crate, before dozing off. Twice. She looked suitably nervous, but was amiable enough in simply keeping an eye on this crazy pup.

Yesterday, he went and took a nap next to the dog gate where Wash was lying on the other side.

So, he is giving us hope that he can be rehabilitated soon.

If only these positive signs weren't later punctuated by hostile outbursts we would all have calmer nerves. It is positively hilarious to see the much-larger Boxers stop for a second to gather their nerves before clinging to the furthest wall in order to walk by Zapp's crate. Which sometimes garners hostilities and sometimes doesn't.

And so we go ... it will be an interesting week, I am sure!

Who's Got a Nook? And Wants to Tell Us About It?

Or, for that matter, a Sony e-reader?

I'd be curious to hear what people love and hate about them ... as would Mack, whose idea this review request is.

Don't be shy. Speak up!

Ok - The Kindle? It's Freakin' Awesome!

You know, when Thomas L. McDonald was talking about collections I had no idea that you could get 100+ Classic Mystery novels and stories for ... oh ... 3 bucks.

[Ahem ... apologies on that, Thomas ... ]

Not that I'm not going for free stuff.

But. Really. 3 bucks.

Eventually I will even settle down long enough to read something on it!

:-D

Ok, the next question.

Skin? Or case?

Personally, I Blame Jeremy C. Shipp For This

He very kindly send me a pdf of Fungus of the Heart. I said to myself, "It's short stories. I'll print them out one at a time."

If there is something I do not like, it is reading long pieces on the computer. Especially for entertainment. But I'm not going to turn down a book from an author just because of that.

Then, he extra kindly slipped me Cursed at the same time ... as a pdf.

The book whose review drew him to my attention in the first place.

Aaargh!

No problem. I could read it on the computer. Not that big a deal. Really. I'd manage. Bravely. (It goes without saying, though I thought I would point it out to you just in case you missed it.)

I told Tom about my good fortune in scoring those two books.

Who looked at me and said, "The new Kindle is only $139. And they have it at Target."

Really?

It turns out I can get to the nearest Target in five minutes.

They didn't have it. But Amazon is getting one to me by Friday. The dears.

So, actually it is Tom's fault. (That's enabling, right? I couldn't help myself.)

Although I thought I was disinterested in e-readers and every conversation I had about them made me feel disinterested ... obviously my sub-brain knew differently from the speed with which I responded. (Sub-brain ... you know. I think it's a Lovecraftian thing. Or maybe Edgar Rice Burroughs? Robert E. Howard? Anyway. I digress.)

At one point, I surfaced to sanity and said bravely, "You know, I could just buy the darned book for about seven bucks, now that I think of it. Just because I was given a free pdf is no reason to spend $139."

(Brave again. I know. I'm just like that.)

"I never thought of that," Tom said, but in a detached way. "Huh. Well, we're bound to have one eventually. The technology is headed in that direction."

"If you say so," and I sank back into the warm waters of E-reader/Gadget Instant Gratification, spending much of the evening perusing the artistic protective skins available.

I told you he was an enabler.

[I figured I'd wind up with some sort of e-reader sooner or later. After all, someone podcasting public domain books has to have access to Project Gutenberg's pdfs somehow. I've been printing out what I needed whenever it came up. Eventually I was going to run into something that was too big print out.

So, actually ... I blame the podcast. From the bottom of my sub-brain. ]

'Tis the Season ... for Books

Lately received in the mail ... I haven't read them but they look good so here they are with some of the blurbs.

Take Five: Meditations With John Henry Newman by Mike Aquilina and Fr. Juan Velez

Newman's journey to Catholicism is one of the greatest stories of the nineteenth century church. He relied on divine revelation together with logical reasoning and historical facts to reach religious truths and vigorously defend religious doctrines.

This book's brief, focused meditations will bring a similar clarity to your daily activities through John Henry Newman's deep Christian spirituality. Each topical entry begins with an excerpt from John Henry Newman's writings, followed by these helpful prompts:

---THINK ABOUT IT Points that serve as a springboard for prayerful consideration of each meditation topic.

---JUST IMAGINE A Scripture scene that brings the issue at hand to life.

---REMEMBER A simple memorization passage to help you work through the meditation topic.

Where There Is Love, There Is God: A Path to Closer Union with God and Greater Love for Others - Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa’s relationship with God and her commitment to those she served—the poorest of the poor—is here powerfully explored in her own words. Taken largely from her private lessons to her sisters, published here for the first time, Where There is Love, There is God unveils her extraordinary faith in and surrender to God’s will. This book is in some way a sequel to Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light, in which her own very private spiritual struggles were explained. Sent to alleviate the sufferings of the poor, she assumed their struggles and pain in the depths of her heart. This led to particularly intense anguish which she lived through with heroic courage and fidelity over several decades. As important as this aspect of her life is, that remarkable testimony of her life and her words intensifies the need and desire to know more of her thought. There is much she can teach us as we face our daily struggles or sufferings, which can at times be unusually severe. Where There is Love, There is God, though not an exhaustive anthology of Mother Teresa’s teaching, nonetheless shows what she believed and taught about important issues that confront all people. Due to her constant interaction with people of diverse backgrounds, no life situation was foreign to her and in this book her role is primarily one of teacher and guide.

Paul: Tarsus to Redemption

Volume 2: Paul returns from years of solitude in the desert ready to begin his epic mission to Rome.

(This is part of that manga-style telling of Paul's story that I reviewed earlier.)

How to Get to "I Do": A Dating Guide for Catholic Women by Amy Bonaccorso

"Finding a man is just like finding a parking spot in New York City. It can be hard and take a while, but you can do it."—From Chapter One

Ten years of eye-opening experiences on the Christian dating scene equipped Amy Bonaccorso to offer hard-hitting advice that will help you get real, get practical, and get married. As a happily married woman, she knows what works (internet dating), what doesn't (living a nun-like existence), and gives you the confidence to date strategically with an eye toward marriage. Forget about Prince Charming—he doesn't exist—but plenty of good men are waiting for a woman like you to throw away the checklist of idealized mate material and settle down with a real man.

This practical and realistic guide for single Catholic women offers you an opportunity for self-assessment (if you want to make a good catch, be a good catch), and takes seriously the importance of marriage as a vocation to be pursued with as much energy as a call to the religious life.

Exercising Your Soul: Fifteen Minutes a Day to a Spiritual Life by Gary Jansen

EXERCISING YOUR SOUL, by Gary Jansen, is a spiritual fitness program, a guide to firming up faith that offers practical techniques to recharge and enhance relationships with yourself, with others, and, most important, with God. Drawing on spiritual practices from Christian traditions, the prayers and exercises in this book are powerful ways of experiencing God in day-to-day life. Jansen brings to life each of the practices he suggests as he shares his own growth through the disciplines.

With beautifully told, modern-day parables and stories, EXERCISING YOUR SOUL makes complicated concepts simple and exquisite. The antithesis of a self-help book, it is rather a "God-help book," one that places God at the center of all things and can transform lives forever.

Also, coming my way, so I am told:

• The End and the Beginning: Pope John Paul II -- The Victory of Freedom, the Last Years, the Legacy by George Weigel
• Fungus of the Heart by Jeremy C. Shipp
• Who is Jesus Christ? Unlocking the Mystery in the Gospel of Matthew by Eric Sammons

At Least I Had the Pleasure of Watching the Philadelphia Eagles Lose

Since later I watched the Dallas Cowboys go down.

At the hands of the Washington Redskins?

No, if only.

The Cowboys decided to repeatedly shoot themselves in the foot. Repeatedly.

I mean to say. 4 seconds left in the first half, you're at the other end of the field, and you pull that little bobble? Oy veh! Y'all deserved that pick from the Redskins.

Guys. In that situation either go for the Hail Mary or take a knee.

I'm beggin' ya!

In Which Davies and Carruthers Achieve Their Double Aim

The last chapter (but not the end!) of The Riddle of the Sands, plus some Spilled Milk, at Forgotten Classics.

Okra, Three Ways: Pickled, Stir-Fried, and Gumbo-ed

I think I forgot to let everyone over here know that there are some mighty fine looking okra recipes over at Meanwhile, Back in the Kitchen.

Up There

An homage to the craftsmen who paint billboards in New York. Up There is only 12 minutes long but is a wonderful look at a dying art.

I found this via Good News Film Reviews.

Be Still My Heart! "Wall Street Journal launching book review"

NEW YORK — The Wall Street Journal is set to launch a book review in the next few weeks, even as newspapers across the country cut back on book coverage.

The new weekly section will be the Journal's first one dedicated solely to reviews. It will complement an expanded Saturday edition set to appear this month.

Story source

I already look forward every week to the Saturday WSJ with the focus on books. This is just making my weekend better and better.

Via Brandywine Books where there is also rejoicing at the glad news.

It's All Downhill from Here

A little midweek humor ... from Kuriositas.

The Theoretical Physicist Gets a Reply

Burning the Koran. I'm Agin It. And So Is the Pope.

There are so many reasons that is a bad idea. Let's just begin with simple respect for other people. Oh, and freedom of religion. Etc.

Anyway, Whispers in the Loggia has the Vatican's reaction, which more eruditely (is that a word?) goes along those same lines.

I Dream of an Amazing Race ... to Heaven

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the leader and perfecter of faith.

Hebrews 12:1-2

===========

Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race, but only one wins the prize? Run so as to win.

Every athlete exercises discipline in every way. They do it to win a perishable crown, but we an imperishable one.

Thus I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight as if I were shadowboxing.

No, I drive my body and train it, for fear that, after having preached to others, I myself should be disqualified.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Lately I have read several different bloggers musing about St. Paul's famous analogy to living the faith with running a race. The most recent was Roman Catholic Cop who likened it to a swim meet (which is where I found both the scriptural references that are quoted above).

I read all the reflections with interest but, truth to tell, I always have been just fine with the standard that St. Paul set out there. The runner is in the stadium, the witnesses (saints) cheering him on. I can almost see the runner's special buddies near the track, "Hey, grab this bottle of water ... you'll make it!"

However, through the strange medium of dreams, an analogy that I understand better came to mind a couple of days ago: The Amazing Race. Oddly enough the dreams themselves weren't of The Amazing Race, the only reality show that I am truly dedicated to, but somehow once I awoke it all came together in one instant. I just couldn't shake how well that image worked for me.

Pairs with relationships run the race together ... we have partners to work with in our friends, family, and all the people we know. The race goes on and on, with pit stops for food and rest ... life's challenges are interwoven with the plateaus where everything seems to be going well. Sometimes a challenge is easy and sometimes it makes people have to overcome their fears or work with those they dislike to reach a goal (yeah, that one's a no-brainer). Penalties, sometimes given by other teams, can slow you down and sometimes you are your own worst enemy when you ignore the instructions or hints right in front of you.

And at the end, teams jump on that mat at the pit stop to see what Phil tells them about their ranking ... just as we hope to see Jesus face to face and get good news.

Obviously, this isn't a perfect analogy. For me, though, it is the closest I've come yet to having a good overview of a life lived to try to reach Heaven. I've heard it called boot camp. I've heard it called a race or marathon or ... a swim meet. I can relate those examples but on just one level. Certainly, they don't excite my imagination. However, that Amazing Race comparison has really taken hold of my mind. I have been surprised at how often I've found myself thinking of it. And how it has revved me up overall.

Or maybe I'm just ready for TV season to begin.

I cannot tell a lie. I am, indeed, ready for the new shows.

But I will be watching The Amazing Race with a new focus.

Follow the Bouncing Ball

Have y'all been to the main Google page and seen the balls there?

I like swirling my cursor around and watching them go everywhere.

I know. Because I have nothing else to do, right?

StarShipSofa Becomes First Podcast to Win Hugo Award

And the winner is ...

Best Fanzine: StarShipSofa edited by Tony C. Smith

Congratulations Tony and gang! Long may the Sofa fly!

Two Super-Long Movies Eliciting Very Different Reactions

How do you take a desperate mission to reignite a dying sun which morphs into a horror slasher in space, and make the audience so detached that they almost don't care? Get Danny Boyle to direct Sunshine. If anyone needed any proof that Boyle is more interested in character than in story, this movie does it. It is just too bad that he didn't do more with the characters themselves since that's all we're left with. And, all of us would appreciate having had a few plotlines explained. For example, just how did a certain person wind up on the ship? Just a word or two was all we wanted. We would have taken it from there. It was absolutely beautifully shot and the soundtrack was gorgeous as well.

Wait, I just checked the time. This was not a super-long movie after all. It just felt like it.


Then we have Once Upon a Time in the West, that 3-hour epic Western about of a mysterious, harmonica-playing stranger who is on the track of a ruthless assassin. This winds up with Harmonica occasionally working with a wanted outlaw to help a beautiful widow save her land. Classic, right? Classic Sergio Leone, that is, right down to the Ennio Morricone soundtrack and the classic cast including Charles Bronson, Henry Fonda, and Jason Robards. It is quite a long film and has many lingering shots of stares (hence the illustrative photo above), which Tom thought could have been cut back on. It was long but I actually enjoyed the entire thing.

Project 2,996

Next Saturday will be September 11.

Project 2,996 is a tribute to the victims of 9/11.

On September 11, 2006, more than 3,000 bloggers joined together to remember the victims of 9/11 Each year we have honored them by remembering their lives, and not by remembering their murderers. This year the goal is to make sure that each victim has a tribute.

Through the first four years of Project 2996, every victim has been assigned, and each name has received at least one online tribute. However, with the malleable nature of the internet, many of those tributes have disappeared.

The list below is fluid. As I make my way through checking all the links from all the past years, more names will be added. And while people write new tributes and post them online names will be removed from this list.

The primary way to participate, and the best way to help, is to pick one of the names below. Then do some online research, and post a tribute to your own blog or website. In this way you will learn a little bit about one of the victims of 9/11, and you will help keep their memories alive.

If you want to participate, go here, pick out a name and help keep their memory alive.

I will be reposting Captain Daniel O'Callaghan's tribute on Saturday, but, of course, please feel free to check it out any time.