Catching Up

HARRY POTTER
(spoilers for the two people beside me who haven't read this book yet)
I finished it in two days but forgot to say anything other than to complain about the Hermione/Ron and Harry/Ginny romance dance. When you've seen it coming since book 2 (or so) it is not as if any of this was a surprise or especially cleverly written.

However, I loved the Fleur/Bill romance and the way every female bristled at Fleur's presence. As for Snape killing Dumbledore, I feel that he may have promised Dumbledore to do so. It was the only time that Dumbledore pled for anything and when Harry told Prof. M. later that his promises to Dumbledore carried on after death, I thought of Snape. So we shall see ... in several years, after I have no doubt forgotten all about the plot of this book.

CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
Everyone else has covered this pretty well. My personal reaction is that I liked Johnny Depp's performance much better than I thought I would, especially the way he never knew the kids' names ("Oh, Little Girl...") and would snap at them ("MUMBLER! I can't understand a word you're saying, Little Boy.").

I didn't mind the back story especially as they carried it out much the way that I think Dahl would have. It was a great touch when Willie Wonka came back home and the house was literally ripped from the row of houses.

The musical numbers stink, stank, stunk. What were they thinking?

Overall, pretty good though I'd have liked to see more of Willie Wonka's factory than we did.

SPANGLISH
I rented this expecting a little, light comedy. It was good as well as amusing. However, it also was one of the most forceful statements I've seen from Hollywood about culture clash, maintaining fidelity to a marriage, and honorable behavior. Great performances from everyone, especially Tea Leoni as the unlikable wife who becomes entirely sympathetic only in a very few moments of the movie. I also didn't know what would happen and that kept me on the edge of my seat, wondering, "Surely they won't have an affair, will they? PLEASE don't ... though who could blame them?" I won't say what happens here ... rent it and find out for yourself.

WARNING: This movie is rated PG-13 but shows a sex scene complete with the wife having an orgasm. I suppose the fact that any private "bits" were covered was supposed to make it ok but we couldn't believe our eyes ... to say nothing of the fact that we were watching with Rose which was less than comfortable to say the least. I am positive they could have made the point about the wife being totally selfish and self-involved without this little scene. In fact, they had done it already. Whoever rates movies obviously has lost any perspective on what is normal for 13-year-olds to view.

Ok, I've got two words for that. In. Sane.
Tom Arnold in True Lies

Will the Real Mary Ann Collins Please Stand Up?

My latest article, critically examining the existance of ex-nun Mary Ann Collins, is up at Spero News. (Thanks to Bene Diction, Clint, and Robert for letting me work on something so far afield from my usual experience. It was really interesting and an unusual challenge.)

I fully realize the irony of an article examining a distributor of anti-Catholic materials being published on the celebration of the Assumption of Mary. Kinda fun, huh? Mary Ann Collins definitely would not like that.

On the other hand, this year our bishops declared that this day is not a holy day of obligation (aaaargh!). I believe that would make Mary Ann Collins happy. So I suppose you could say this is a win-win situation.

Be sure to hop over there and see what else is going on at Spero News. They have all kinds of fascinating news that covers angles you won't see anywhere else.

Lunch With Jordan

What a pleasure it was to meet Jordan from Contemplating the Laundry in actual real life! We just started in chatting a mile a minute as if we had known each other forever and just seen each other the previous day. She is beautiful for one thing (inside and out). She's also a great and interesting conversationalist (maybe that's because she's such a good listener. ha!). Of course, it helps that we both "live" in the same neighborhood. We have so many blogging friends in common that between talking about them (in a good way, y'all!) and sharing common experiences in blogging we just couldn't quit talking. We could hardly tear ourselves away long enough to get to our cars and leave.

Here's hoping that she visits her in-laws often! (just selfish, that's me!)

Pumping Gas and Seeing Stars

Little John's ongoing story of seeing celebrities while pumping gas in Malibu (circa 1984). Somehow this one doesn't surprise me a bit.

Late one rainy night a big, black BMW drives up and the passenger window lowers. It's Danny DiVito. He asks if I can replace the wiper blades. It's after 10:00 pm and after that hour the crew at the station would usually have an altered mental state. Plus putting in replacement blades can be a real hassle. So I said, "No I don't think we can help." Man, you would have thought they just cancelled "Taxi"! Mr. DiVito got super mad, insulted me and then announced that he would get his gas elsewhere. Man was I upset that he didn't buy 20 dollars of gas at the station where I made $3.50 per hour (or whatever the minimum wage was in 1983 or 84). He really knew how to hurt a guy!

This is the end of this series unless Little John drops any more stories my way.

Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due ... Bill Clinton Did This Right

Bill Clinton might have vetoed the GOP written welfare reform several times before finally, in an election year - signing the legislation. But he signed it. Amid all of the predictions of gloom and doom, the certainty of the left that the world would end should welfare-as-we-then-knew-it be updated and reformed, Clinton signed.

The world did not end. What ended was the seeming-entrenchment of a whole group of people, of all ethnic backgrounds, into a hopeless dependence upon the government which led nowhere, gave no promise, encouraged no future, thwarted dreams and individual potential, and perpetuated the whole idea of dependence, of inability, of needing a caretaker.

Read the whole thing at Stones Cry Out. I never would have thought of it that way so this was an eye opening article. And now I can give Bill Clinton a little bit of credit. Even though I detest him, I detest even more the idea of never giving him any credit for doing the right thing ... after all, he must have done something right! Right?

How Blogging Has Prepared Me for the Real World ...

... Or, How Not to Fight With Friends About Your Faith

I have watched so many "discussions" between traditional and progressive Catholics in the blogging world. In practically every case they have led to nothing except extended arguing and quite often bad feelings. As far as I can tell it is because each has their ideas already set and is trying to convince the other to change their mind. It rarely is simply setting out the reasons for one's beliefs so the other can understand where you are coming from. And, those arguments make me tired, so very tired.

So, last night, when a friend surprised me by suddenly declaring, "I'm a big time liberal Catholic" and wanting to "discuss" why there should be no altar rails in any Catholic churches, I was more than wary. I was determined not to get dragged into something that would ruin our friendship, to say nothing of making it difficult to work on a possible project that we might be doing together.

Actually, his reasons were very enlightening. I didn't mind hearing why he had those views although I wasn't getting the idea that my own were necessarily being heard ... and I didn't have the desire to even attempt swaying him to my POV (to say nothing of the fact that the venue wasn't appropriate for that particular discussion). So once both of us had gone over the same ground a couple of times, I refused to talk about it any more.

Cop out? Maybe. But why turn a friend into an adversary over an altar rail? That is just plain nuts. On the way home I told Tom, "Thank you for being a cradle Catholic who is still traditional." After a second, he said, "Well, thank you for being a traditional Catholic too." That made me realize, crazy convert that I am, what torture it would have been for both of us to be continually in disagreement over this or unable to discuss the Church at all. A new realization and a little something extra to be thankful for.

In what is necessary, unity;
in what is not necessary, liberty
and in all things charity.

St. Augustine

The discussion also made me go back and reread this post which quotes John Allen about why Vatican II divided the Church. It is one of the best reasons for the two varying attitudes I've ever come across and one that keeps me in charity with both sides.

Human Nature is the Basis for Morality

There are two very different ideas in the world today about the basis for morality. The typically modern idea is that moral laws are man-made rules like the rules of a game such as tennis, created by human will and therefore changeable by human will. The traditional idea, on the other hand, which is taught not only by the Catholic Church but by all the world's major religions and nearly all pre-modern philosophies, is that the laws of morality are not rules that we make but principles that we discover, like the laws of a science such as anatomy. They are based on human nature, and human nature is essentially unchanging; and therefore the laws of morality are also essentially unchanging, like the laws of anatomy... There are universal principles, based on human nature, for bodily health and for mental health -- and also for moral health.

Because our human nature is composed of body and soul, with powers of intellect, will, and feelings, and because it is our nature to love the good but also to be tempted by evil, it is necessary for us to cultivate such virtues as self-control, wisdom, courage, and honesty. Catholic morality follows the classic Greek philosophers Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle in deriving the essential principles of morality from unchanging human nature and its real, objective needs rather than from the changing subjective feelings and desires of individuals or societies. Thus its essential principles are universal (the same for everyone), objective (discovered, not invented), and unchangeable.

Catholic Christianity:A Complete Catechism of Catholic Beliefs based on the Catechism of the Catholic Church by Peter Kreeft

All the Ways God Gets Our Attention

As saintos at luminous miseries prepares to convert to Catholicism we are being shown the gamut of ways God calls us. When the family is being shown around the grand old Catholic church that will be their new "church home" we see God calling through the sheer beauty of the art.

For our eldest daughter it really have been straight up doctrine, I mean how much more core can one get than being convinced of the truth of the Eucharist, body, blood and divinity of our Lord Jesus in the bread and the wine? For our youngest it is the witness of the work God is doing in her sister and in me and a fascination with the rosary, no doubt. For Mrs. Saintos it is her thriving spirit, her will to see us do life as a family and her own commitment to me as the spiritual head of the family. I know this sounds frightfully old fashioned but it comes as it is her own will to live this way and not some onerous obligation on my part it seems to me the act of a very strong person who happens to be a woman. For our son God seems to be reaching out to him through the relational and esthetic. Our son was much moved by the artwork that was so visible in the church, cancels, beautiful not kitschy sculptures, the Blessed Mother and Child, Joseph the Worker, the Sacred Heart of Jesus, Holy Mary and the like. I know a moment of impact for us all was in seeing the Tabernacle. Father explained it and then opened it to show us the blessed host. I am telling you, I cannot speak for the others but I felt the tinglies! A moment that impacted our son was when Father showed us the one item that survived the fire that brought the building to ash in the nineteen seventies, it was the original Chalice.

Think of how many modern Catholic churches that saintos' son could visit today and not receive the same message because there is no beauty there to call him. I remember visiting the Basilica of Notre Dame in Montreal and watching a young woman ask her husband what was wrong. The church was incredibly beautiful and he had been brought to tears just by being there. He told her he was "having a moment" and we knew what he meant ... he had been feeling God's glory communicated through the beauty created to honor Him. I get that feeling from nature but I think it is a special calling to get it from man's works made to honor God.

Romance 1001

Ham-scented notes aside, neither Tom or I are very creative about romance ... or romantic at all, truth be told. Neither of us are the most spontaneous in the world. Yet, it turns out we would both enjoy a little romance in our lives. (Hmmmm, wonder why that marriage retreat was such a good idea?)

Before we even left San Antonio on Sunday we hit a Borders and bought the only book we saw with a lot of ideas listed. 1001 Ways to Be Romantic by Gregory Godeck. We almost didn't pick it up when we saw it had been recommended by Oprah, but overcame our Oprah-phobia. I particularly liked the part I saw when flipping through it that was like a point-by-point checklist of how to come up with romantic ideas. Yes! Instructions! Corny? Maybe. But it is a place to begin.

Still thinking of this as primarily a book of lists to flip through, however, I was astonished to see Tom start at the beginning and reading it just like a regular book. Which is how we wound up having a long conversation about it this morning. (Talk about it? Analyze it? Oh yeah, now that's our style!)

Interestingly enough, amidst the lists is a primer on romance itself: how to think about romance, how not to become paralyzed by requiring the "perfect" idea, how to appreciate the romantic gesture that is made to you, etc. Ok, based on other conversations with couples (we are not alone), I begin to see why this book is so popular. We can get a lot of books of lists (based on interesting samples from the retreat), but a "how-to" book? That's right down our alley.

If You Can Start the Day

From my inbox. Thanks Marcia!

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,



... Then you are probably the family dog!

Beyond Cana

Is there a more perfect name for a marriage retreat ... especially one that focuses on marriage enrichment? No. There isn't. It is pure genius.

However, that shouldn't surprise me, as I consider the man who came up with the original idea for this retreat to be a genius. In fact, on the way home (a 5-hour drive from San Antonio to Dallas), I said to Tom, "Ken is a genius, a GENIUS!" He said, "Yes, you've mentioned that before." Oooops.

It is a very interesting concept, first of all, that this is for enriching marriages. We didn't fully grasp that when we signed up but it was just what we were aiming for ... helping us celebrate what is already working and do the hard and necessary work of talking about what isn't working ... while getting both of us to listen to the other. Incorporated through this is the spiritual element that is so essential to any successful undertaking. There was an overarching theme of marriage as a sacrament and as a place where we reflect God's glory. Wow!

Giving the details would make no sense as anyone who has ever gone on a retreat knows full well. Part of the retreat process is progressing as things unfold around you rather than seeing the whole thing laid out ahead of time or divorced from the overall atmosphere.

I can say that the retreat gave us the tools we needed to communicate our love, our frustrations, our needs, our fears ... everything ... in a safe and undemanding environment. I am not saying it was easy. There were times when we were praying and very afraid to bring things up. But God was there with us (corny? yes. but it is true). Also we were committed to each other and to this process. In fact, the item that turned out to be the main issue between us is one that only God had in mind as we both had pushed it so far back, so long ago, that we couldn't even really define it at first.

Naturally, it didn't hurt that there were two mandatory "date" nights in the charming town of Boerne at the edge of Texas' hill country. It all combined so well to remind us of what made us fall in love in the first place and how deeply we have grown to love each other in the meantime.

Tom's reaction is stated a bit differently but the end result was the same for both of us:

This program is good for a couple like us because it is not at all a "crisis" oriented concept. In fact it is rooted in business situation assessment and planning wrapped in a "marriage as a sacrament" context. Better than just taking a weekend off together, it is really helps break down the little personal barriers people tend to develop over time. Then to plan on how to minimize the negative and emphasize the positive.

I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who said a little prayer for the retreat. We discovered that the retreat team had a monastery full of nuns praying for us. I know also that my CRHP team was praying for us. And, then there is anyone who dropped by here and saw that request. So it is no wonder that we had a fabulous experience.

The next challenge is really the big one. We must make changes to our routines on a day to day basis. I realized that routine sucks all those great new plans right out of your head when we got home and dropped right back into the regular needs of daily life with the girls. That is, until that wonderful moment, when my dear Tom (having realized the same thing I found out later), suddenly started implementing a little change that very evening. And the change was in the very area I had been most terrified about approaching him. How I love that man o' mine!

That was such a surprise and such a delight ... and such a warning about the need to be vigilant about putting our plans into effect. His motion touched me so that I was warming myself at the memory of it while making lunch the next morning. The perfect time to slip a note into his sandwich wrapper some might mention? Ah yes. And so it was done. He has the note in his shirt pocket as we speak ... now I just have to remember that a ham sandwich will give a note an unmistakable fragrance throughout the day ... and figure out a way around that!

And the very best part? If the routine overcomes us again, if we forget part of what we vowed to change, if new problems surface ... and we all know that this is reality speaking, not pessimism ... this retreat is designed so that we can pick our own weekend, retreat from the world, and do it ourselves annually or whenever we want. How cool is that? You know the answer already. Very cool.

Both Flattering and Mystifying

I am not sure what language this is, much less what the blogger's nationality is, but thank you for the link Martti Savijoki. Obviously, you are better educated than I am as you definitely are reading Happy Catholic in a second language.

I think I'm gonna add a foreign language section to the sidebar ...

The Personalism of Catholic Morality

What is the image of "Catholic morality" propogated by today's secular world, especially the media establishment, which forms modern minds through TV, movies, journalism, and public education? It is that of a joyless, repressive, dehumanizing, impersonal, and irrational system, something alien and inhuman and often simply stupid.

How totally different Catholic morality looks from the inside, from the viewpoint of those who live it, especially the saints! When the media meet a saint, like Mother Teresa, their stereotypes dissolve and die. Nothing looks more different from inside than from outside than Catholic morality -- except people in love. Nothing appears more foolish to non-lovers, or more wise and wonderful to lovers.

For Catholic morality is a love affair with Christ and his people, though not "romantic" love. It has its laws and rules, as a city has its streets. Streets are essential to a city, but they are not the very essence of a city... Streets are a means to the end of getting home. Home is where the real living takes place. Similarly, moral rules are the street map to the good life, but they are not the thing itself. The thing itself is a relationship of love, like a marriage. The marriage covenant has laws, like God's covenant with us. But husband and wife are faithful to each other first of all, not to the laws. The laws define and command their fidelity to each other. Principles are for persons, not persons for principles. Catholic morality is personalistic -- it is person-centric because it is Christocentric, and Christ is a person, not a principle.

Catholic Christianity:A Complete Catechism of Catholic Beliefs based on the Catechism of the Catholic Church by Peter Kreeft

Giving Thanks

Gratitude, someone once said, is the heart of prayer. And I think that person was right. Gratitude for a meal is really just an extension of the gratitude we're called to live in all day long.

There are times when my life is not what I want or think it should be. It might be a small aggravation or a huge worry, but the bottom line is, I don't like it and I'm not happy with it. A while back, I decided that anger, frustration, and wishful thinking got me nowhere. Forget where that could be, I decided, and concentrate on what is and where God is in all of it. Instead of thinking "I wish" or "If only" or something more profane, I started forcing myself to simply think (or pray), "Thank you."

You'd be amazed at what that does to change your perspective instantly.

The Words We Pray

Exactly right. The trick is remembering to be thankful always. Hard to believe how easily I can forget that ... St. Albert the Great, help my memory.

Isn't LIfe Strange?

Tony Hendra (who plays manager Ian Faith) writes in his memoir "Father Joe" that he attempted suicide the night before the first day of filming. He credits the joy he experienced in making the film with bringing him back from his depression.

Well that's a shocker. Looking up trivia from This is Spinal Tap I was stunned to see both the effect that making the movie had on Hendra and also that he wrote Father Joe. It's also funny what inspires you. I was never that interested in reading Father Joe but now it's going on my book list.

Where's the Story?

Get Religion is wondering why no major media source has picked up on a major Vatican story mentioned by John Allen.

Sources indicate that the long-awaited Vatican document on the admission of homosexuals to seminaries is now in the hands of Pope Benedict XVI. The document, which has been condensed from earlier versions, reasserts the response given by the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments in 2002, in response to a dubium submitted by a bishop on whether a homosexual could be ordained: “A homosexual person, or one with a homosexual tendency, is not fit to receive the sacrament of Holy Orders.”

That reply was published in the November-December 2002 issue of Notitiae, the official publication of the congregation.

It is up to Benedict XVI to decide whether to issue the new document as it stands, to send it back for revision, or to shelve it on the basis that for now such a document is “inopportune.”

No kidding. Not only is that story a hot button for all kinds of secular groups but, naturally, it will be of great interest to Catholics. Get Religion puts it so very well.

So did I miss the story somewhere else?... You see, people tend to forget that sexuality issues in the Catholic world are not strictly a left vs. right affair. It is also a matter of public vs. private... It is hard to overemphasize how important this story is among Catholic politicos.

No word from MSM so far...

Pumping Gas and Seeing Stars

Little John's ongoing story of seeing celebrities while pumping gas in Malibu (circa 1984).

I worked with a 60's burnout who lived in a van with his Bassett hound. He loved the folk music of the 60's and in particular Joni Mitchell. She would come in from time to time and he finally got up the nerve to say something to her. He told her that her music had really touched him and her response was, "Shut up and pump the gas". So much for peace and love!

The Only Interesting Thing

[The Prioress] said, next, as to you and this story you have told me: you have been cruelly treated and betrayed, your childhood has been stolen. The world is oftentimes une patisse emerdee, a shit pie, but this is known, this is boring. The only interesting thing is how we use the suffering that is inevitable in life.

Valley of the Bones by Michael Gruber

"Why are people so proud of being half assed about their religion?"

This was Rose's question after we'd been talking about various progressive Catholic opinions seen around St. Blogs in the last few days.

Good point.

Saint Thomas Aquinas ... says if a Catholic comes to believe the Church is in error in some essential, officially defined doctrine, it is a mortal sin against conscience, a sin of hypocrisy, for him to remain in the Church and call himself a Catholic, but only a venial sin against knowledge for him to leave the Church in honest but partly culpable error.

Peter Kreeft

Further thoughts about that subject can be found here.

A Heartwarming, True Story

MORRISON - Mark Hickethier knew he was going to have to dig deep for this celebration dinner. "We were out to kill the fatted calf," he said, talking about his big plans...

But no expense was too much for his only son, who's about to ship off to Iraq for his first tour of duty. Matt Hickethier has almost completed training, and has this week to say farewell to his family for about a year.

The young Marine decided to wear his dress blues to the fancy restaurant. His mother and sister wore their finest dresses...

Perhaps it was the dress blues; maybe it was the general revelry and good vibes emanating from the Hickethier table. The truth may never be revealed, but the Hickethiers had certainly drawn attention. A couple at a neighboring table summoned Jason Barba, their server, and made a most unusual request.

"He gave me his credit card and requested I keep the tab open," said Barba. "'Anything that they order is on me.'"

Stephanie Amador, who was waiting on the Hickethier table, said the gentleman who picked up the tab insisted on doing it and also insisted on anonymity. The gesture was not even to be announced until he had finished and departed.

While the servers were impressed by this generous move, the Hickethiers were floored.

"I don't know the motivation, but I do know that it was mind-blowing," said Mark.

... The gesture at The Fort reminded him of the many Americans that support young men like his son.

Read the whole thing here.

Via Always Jason.