How Blogging Has Prepared Me for the Real World ...

... Or, How Not to Fight With Friends About Your Faith

I have watched so many "discussions" between traditional and progressive Catholics in the blogging world. In practically every case they have led to nothing except extended arguing and quite often bad feelings. As far as I can tell it is because each has their ideas already set and is trying to convince the other to change their mind. It rarely is simply setting out the reasons for one's beliefs so the other can understand where you are coming from. And, those arguments make me tired, so very tired.

So, last night, when a friend surprised me by suddenly declaring, "I'm a big time liberal Catholic" and wanting to "discuss" why there should be no altar rails in any Catholic churches, I was more than wary. I was determined not to get dragged into something that would ruin our friendship, to say nothing of making it difficult to work on a possible project that we might be doing together.

Actually, his reasons were very enlightening. I didn't mind hearing why he had those views although I wasn't getting the idea that my own were necessarily being heard ... and I didn't have the desire to even attempt swaying him to my POV (to say nothing of the fact that the venue wasn't appropriate for that particular discussion). So once both of us had gone over the same ground a couple of times, I refused to talk about it any more.

Cop out? Maybe. But why turn a friend into an adversary over an altar rail? That is just plain nuts. On the way home I told Tom, "Thank you for being a cradle Catholic who is still traditional." After a second, he said, "Well, thank you for being a traditional Catholic too." That made me realize, crazy convert that I am, what torture it would have been for both of us to be continually in disagreement over this or unable to discuss the Church at all. A new realization and a little something extra to be thankful for.

In what is necessary, unity;
in what is not necessary, liberty
and in all things charity.

St. Augustine

The discussion also made me go back and reread this post which quotes John Allen about why Vatican II divided the Church. It is one of the best reasons for the two varying attitudes I've ever come across and one that keeps me in charity with both sides.