I do not approve of guys using false pretenses on dolls ...

Personally, I never cricize Miss Beulah Beauregard for breaking her engagement to Little Alfie, because from what she tells me she becomes engaged to him under false pretenses and I do not approve of guys using false pretenses on dolls, except, of course, when nothing else will do.

Damon Runyon, It Comes Up Mud

How's that for an opening sentence?

This one's for Rose whose birthday is today. She  hasn't read anything by Damon Runyon that I know of, but her love for the movie Guys and Dolls exposed me to his world ... which led to me reading his stories.