My Favorite of the Greatest Uses of Trash Talk in the History of War

It's #4 in the countdown from 10 to 1 but it was my favorite in this fascinating piece from Cracked.com (as always, language warning).

After maxing out his army's tech tree and throwing his enormous weight around in the Third Sacred War, Philip turned his eye toward the oiled abs of Sparta. So, in 346 B.C., he decided he would do a little smack-talking of his own to the Spartans:

"You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army on your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people and raze your city."


The Spartans answered ...

The Quote:

"If."

As in, "That's the only relevant word in all your tough talk."

The Aftermath:

Sure enough, it never happened. Both Philip II and his son Alexander ended up spending the remainder of their military careers fighting as far away from Sparta as humanly possible.