If Ancient Rome Had the Internet ...

... lifted from Miss Cellania.

The destruction of Pompeii in 79 AD is the most viewed video at YouTube. The first comment is..."OMG so cool! Volcanos ROCK!"

Attila the Hun has his own MySpace page. Nobody ever rejects his "invite a friend" emails.

The domain "gladiator.rome" sells for the record sum of 1,000,000 denarii.

"Naked Cleopatra" is the top search term on Google.

Unfortunately, the Queen of Egypt dies an early death after misunderstanding IT's call to embrace an ASP solution.

Websites like "handsome-literate-male-british-slave.com" pollute the search listings thanks to generous commissions at the "slaves.co.rome" affiliate program.

Roman programmers moan about projects outsourced to cheap coders in Mesopotamia.

The Colosseum is renamed the eBay Colosseum, with free wireless hot spots outside the lions cage restaurant.

Nobody invents a spam filter good enough for the House of the Vestals.