Hell Abolished, God Adopts Gold Sticker System

... As reported at last week’s press conference, after reading a book on self-esteem in children, the Lord realized that all “Children of God” could benefit from immediate positive reinforcement.

“As it turned out,” the Lord said, “tossing sinners into Hell was seriously damaging their self-esteem.”

“This just goes to show that you’re never omnipotent or omnipresent enough not to learn a thing or two from time to time,” the Archangel Gabriel said. “Do we serve a great God or what?! What a guy!”

Support for the initiative came from at least one surprising source.

“This initiative couldn’t have come soon enough,” said the original Prince of Darkness, Satan, who wept openly at the press conference. Satan wore a “Nice try!” sticker, “If I’d had one of these way back when, things could have been different. A lot different.”

In the first phase of the initiative, angels were dispatched to Earth with hundreds of thousands of rolls of stickers. Whenever a human was “caught in the act” of doing something terrific, such as praying, helping another, reading the Bible, or working for peace, the angels were charged to present the human with a sticker. ...

A "news article" that is simultaneously hilarious as well as scathing commentary. Do go read it all. Not easy to pull off, but philangelus from Seven angels, three kids, one family does it perfectly. This just makes me even more interested in reading her new book, Seven Archangels: Annihilation.