Friday, October 19, 2007

Special Prayer Request

4-year-old Lori Subialdea suffers from Irritable Bowel Syndrome. She is being hospitalized again and is on a morphine drip. My heart goes out to this little one and her family. Nothing is harder than watching your child suffer. Please pray for this family and for Lori's doctors.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

All the Things I Didn't Know About Mother Teresa

Updated: scroll to the bottom for final remarks upon finishing the book.

Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light
by Mother Teresa, Brian Kolodiejchuk

I am about two-thirds of the way through this book and have been surprised by how it has not matched my preconceptions. I put off beginning it because I expected it to be dreary and full of misery because of Mother Teresa's now well known "dark night of the soul." However, although the first half of the book alludes to that, most of it is about her early life as a nun, her struggles to set up the Missionaries of Charity, and her early days in Calcutta. Most stories I have read about her tend to gloss over those days in order to get to the flowering of her mission in Calcutta so this was a revelation. Also a revelation was the "inner Teresa" that is shown to us in her early letters.

I had no idea that from very early in her days as a nun Mother Teresa was known for her humility, joy, and for extraordinary sacrifice, even when it included going alone into the streets after religious rioting killed over 5,000 in order to find food for the school's students who had nothing to eat. What becomes obvious is her great love and devotion to Jesus and that she is being formed to be a great example to everyone.

I had no idea that her messages from Jesus to go serve the poor of India took the form of her actually being able to hear his voice. She had many recurring and various visions of Jesus, Mary, and the massed poor of India pleading with her to bring them to our Lord. It was the view of her confessor that she was in a state of "near ecstasy" during those times, which brings inevitably to mind St. Teresa of Avila.

It never occurred to me that Teresa would have been taken aback by this call to serve the poor. Perhaps because her mission has always been presented to me as a thing accomplished, I never knew or considered how much she loved her current life and thought she already was where God wanted her to be. This put me forcibly in mind of a conversation I recently had with a friend who passionately proclaimed that she felt herself being led to a place that was not what she had in mind for how her life "should go." The next day I read this passage and thought how real it made Mother Teresa to me, how she thought she knew God's call, and how shocked she was to find out what he really wanted ... which wasn't in her conception of God's will at all. Just as my friend was expressing. Just as many of us have doubtless experienced.
A moving exchange of great beauty went on between Christ and Mother Teresa. With utmost tenderness, He addressed her as "My own spouse" or "My own little one," "My Jesus" or "My own Jesus," replied Mother Teresa, longing to return love for love. In this sacred dialogue, Jesus was revealing His Heart to her: His pain, His love, His compassion, His thirst for those who suffer most. He also revealed His plan to send her to them as a carrier of His love. This revelation had a deep echo in her soul. Many years earlier, writing back home, she had expressed her desire "to bring joy to the lives" of those to whom she had been sent. She had prayed for "the strength to always be the light of their lives and so lead them to You!" However, he call to leave Loreto and be a sign of Christ's presence, a carrier of His love and compassion to the poorest of the poor in the slums, was not the kind of answer she expected in response to her prayer. Yet the "Voice" kept pleading, "Come, come, carry Me into the holes of the poor. Come, be My light." Jesus' invitation was imbued with trust; He counted on her response.
I never realized how Mother Teresa pestered and pestered ... and pestered her Archbishop to try to move things along quickly in being allowed to leave her current vocation and begin her new mission in India. I felt a real sympathy for Archbishop Perier who kept responding with measured requests for her not to be so "hasty" and to allow him time to evaluate, pray, and consider her calling. Of course, with Jesus himself speaking in your ear it is easy to see that one might keep up the pressure so we can easily see Teresa's side of things too. Her persistence, however, was one of the things that impressed him with Teresa's zeal and sincerity so that served its purpose also.

I never thought of Mother Teresa as a young novice, off on her mission to serve God. There is a delight for me in that 18-year-old girl whose openness and joy in beginning her vocation overflow from her letters home. She is so very like Hannah, Rose, and their friends whose enthusiasm and energy abound as they set off on their own missions and vocations to college and beyond. In hindsight, there is even more joy because her request to her family, "Pray much for us that we may be good and courageous missionaries" was answered so far beyond anything that she could have dreamed at the time.

I never realized that Mother Teresa was simply a person. Her letters are usually very simple and served to make me understand that "under her skin" was a person just like you or me. The big difference was that she was in love with Jesus had made a vow to give him "all." For an Albanian that vow, quite simply, was invested with cultural cement that would not break, as well as with all her considerable stubbornness and will. In reading this book, Mother Teresa has gone from an iconic figure to someone whose struggles I can relate to, albeit on a very simple level through my own understanding. She has become someone who I can attempt to emulate in her determination to give Jesus her "all."

I now can see that part of her "dark night of the soul," torture though it was to Teresa, also helped to insulate her against the adulation of the secular world as it became more aware of her mission. I am just beginning this part of the book so will undoubtedly learn more about Mother Teresa, this person who is now real to me, and who has many lessons to teach me about loving and following Jesus.

It also occurs to me that those critics, like the famous Christopher Hitchens, cannot have really read this book (or perhaps did not read it honestly without their own preconceptions) before accusing Mother Teresa of discovering that there is no God and not wanting to admit it to the world. Clearly through her letters, side by side with darkness and abandonment, goes a true love and longing for Christ to return to her. She did not doubt his existence in the depths of her soul, though surely she felt that way sometimes. However, she was too wise to succumb to acting on her feelings.

This also answers some of the comments I've heard from people who remark that they have never felt close to God and that must be a similar experience, albeit admittedly lesser than Teresa's. It makes me think of how facilely many of us leap to self comparisons with St. Jerome when we have a sharp retort simply because of his famous temper, without stopping to think of his many sacrifices, his accomplishments and his love for Jesus ... which I note none of us claim to match. Similarly, none of us have had the actual presence of Jesus as our company for months on end as Teresa did. Surely we would feel that darkness to be bottomless once we were bereft of it, just as she did. Just as surely we would look for answers from any spiritual advisers we had. Hopefully we would be able to do it with her "yes and a big smile," though in my own case ... I am doubtful I could achieve it.

By the way, this is a fairly quick read. I began it Monday night. Obviously it is highly recommended.

UPDATE:
I finished the book last night and was very surprised to find myself in tears through the last two chapters. Reading of Mother Teresa's ability to embrace and even find joy in her "darkness" as God's will and as a reparatory suffering offered for the souls of the poor ... well, it was a beautiful thing is all I can say. To read of her continual widening of her ministry to the poor in her final years was equally beautiful and also reminded me of the personal nature of salvation and the necessity of our ministry to those within our own circles, beginning with our own family and friends.

Do not think that reading the TIME magazine article is adequate for your understanding. Do yourself a favor and read the book itself. Accept no substitutes!

Monday, October 15, 2007

About Those Seeds: Part 2

Much belated, but continuing the examination begun last week of the well known parable from Luke 8:4-15 of the sower and the seeds that fall on various sorts of ground. I especially appreciate this point about prayer because so often it is presented as something that is easy, whereas I struggle with myself every single day just to take the time for individual prayer.
And some fell on the rock; and as it grew up, it withered away, because it had no moisture. At "the moment of truth" they succumb because their allegince to Christ has been rooted solely in feeling and not in prayer. They have therefore been unabel to endure difficult moments unscathed, or take in their stride the trials of life and periods of spiritual dryness. Many people are pleased by what they hear, and sincerely resolve to pursue the good. Yet when adversity and suffering come, they soon abandon their good works (St. Gregory the Great). How many good resolutions have come to nought when the spiritual life has become a struggle! These souls were seeking themselves rather than God. As St. Augustine pointed out, Some act for one reason. Others act for another. The fact is that few look to Jesus for the sake of Jesus. To look for Jesus is to follow his footsteps wherever they may lead, no matter if the trail is smooth and easy or uphill and arduous. The key thing is to have the firm desire to reach Christ, to look for Jesus for the sake of Jesus. We can accomplish this only if we are faithful to our daily prayer, whether it comes to us easily or is more of a sacrifice.
In Conversation with God (vol. 5, ordinary time weeks 24-34) by Francis Fernandez

2007 Weblog Awards

Just found out that nominations are open ... but only through today. Usually there's more buzz. Guess I'm not hanging out at the right places to hear about such things. I always like seeing who is nominated, whether it is a popularity contest or not, simply because I find good new blogs that way.

One thing that they do that I particularly like is to have categories of blogs based on TTLB ecosystem ranking so everyone has a chance. They also have podcast and video categories which should lead to some good links.

Take a look at the categories in case you're interested in nominating someone, including yourself if you qualify!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

For a Minute, I Though I Was Reading Disputations ...

... because Tom loves nothing more than a good chart or graph to illustrate a point.

But no, I was reading The Grail Code about why we should read great books. He illustrates his point with something from Plato's dialogues where "Socrates asks an ignorant slave boy how he would double the area of a square."

Go read it all.

Friday, October 12, 2007

The Black Moth Finale ...

... yes, we've finally reached the end of The Black Moth, as well as noting the fact that Halloween is the podosphere's favorite holiday with a few links to spots putting on special story-fests ... get it here and enjoy.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

About Those Seeds: part 1

This is from a few weeks (?) ago but only now have I found the time to share it. Jesus tells the well known parable from Luke 8:4-15 of the sower and the seeds that fall on various sorts of ground. I found it worth some meditation and am going to share it in several parts.
And as he sowed, some seed fell along the path, and was trodden under foot, and the birds of the air devoured it. The seed was completely lost without having given any fruit. Later on, Jesus explained to his disciples the parable and the reason for this loss: hearts which have become hardened through a lack of contrition are incapable of receiving the divine word. This bad ground represents the heart which has become accustomed to unclean thoughts, so "parched" as it were that it cannot receive and sustain the seed (St. Gregory the Great). The devil finds in souls of this kind a source of resistance to God's saving Grace.

On the other hand, a soul which reacts to imperfections and transgressions by sincere repentance actually attracts divine mercy. True humility allows God to sow his seed and have it bear abundant fruit. This is why we should use this parable to examine our spirit of reparation for the falls of every day, even in the least serious things. Do we go to Confession frequently and with a sincere yearning for divine assistance?
In Conversation with God (vol. 5, ordinary time weeks 24-34) by Francis Fernandez

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Enbrethiliel is back!

Woohoo!

Thank goodness she pays close attention to her Guardian Angel's comments.

I am just waiting for her next super hero/movie/Catholic connection post now ...

All's Well

Thanks so much to everyone for all the prayers!

Rose was a trooper and we had her home yesterday. Not without a few mishaps but all in all things went quite well. She is getting much better at the "log roll" or "barrel roll" method of getting up from a lying down position. I have become proficient as the nurse-assistant for this maneuver.

Just to add to the fun, she had to be wakened every two hours all night long to make sure she didn't have numbness or tingling in her legs. Since Tom was going to work today, I got those honors.

However, don't think that he got off easy.

When Pepper, our big Black Lab/Great Dane mix, began crying and walking in circles last night, seemingly unable to keep his legs under him. Tom is the one who took him to the vet (thank the Lord for vets open until 10 p.m.).

Turns out that he probably has ... yep ... a slipped disk in his neck!

Is that a contagious thing? Because we've got an epidemic around here seemingly!

So I now am giving him anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxers. As well as having to go fetch him when he becomes disoriented and winds up crying in the back yard unable to figure out how to get inside. Because we all tend to forget, the brain is a big muscle too!

Isn't life odd sometimes?

Update:
Pepper is on muscle relaxants. So now he is lying in the shade in the back yard looking boneless and sleeping. Maybe he's feeling bloopy. The Anchoress seems to be enjoying it ...

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Apologies for missing posting about First Friday

Because of the tizzy we were thrown into by the doctor's pronouncement of a Monday morning surgery, as well as rushing around to get bloodwork, preadmission, and school issues settled on Friday, I completely forgot to mention the First Friday devotion.

I am, however, thankful for those who remembered ... you know who you are.

And so does God, which is more important. I'll do better next month, promise!

The Good, the Bad, and the Boring

That's good ...
My recent trip to Springfield confirmed that my father is indeed feeling much better and my parents are doing pretty well all round. What a relief! Much thanks goes to St. Jude and to all of you who held my father in your prayers. Thank you so much!

That's bad ...

I took Rose to the neurosurgeon on Thursday. He took one look at her MRI film and scheduled her for the earliest opening he had for surgery. Which is Monday morning. At 7:15 a.m.

Basically, she has a huge herniation that is pressing on all nerves in her spine and both legs. A very bad thing altogether. The good thing is that some of the more dire consequences that he would normally expect haven't developed in Rose. (Let's all say, thank you, Lord, AMEN, shall we?)

It will be a day surgery sort of thing unless something unexpected pops up. Then she'll be home for two weeks or so.

We're not worried, apart from the natural apprehension that lurks on thinking of what might happen (which is instantly thrust from one's mind with a accompanying prayer), and trust this surgeon because he was the one who did Tom's last back surgery. All along the way through preadmittance and bloodwork precedures at the hospital yesterday, we kept hearing the same thing. "Dr. Weiner? Oh, he's a biggie. He's a really good doctor."

That's boring ... (the details for the few who might care)
She had been experiencing some problems with sciatica for about a year which would come under control with anti-inflammatories under our regular doctor's direction. My own feeling is that with a father who's had three back surgeries, none of which were due to accidents, and my side of the family which tends to have one hip a bit higher than the other ... well, the poor kid had natural genetic weaknesses which were exacerbated by taking yoga and kung fu at the same time. A month or so ago a kung fu kick resulted in much greater pain in one knee, down her leg, and numbness in her foot and calf. None of which was reported instantly to parents ... you know how that goes.

Naturally Rose was quite upset about the idea of surgery and missing school for two weeks, although she is adjusting to the idea. I told her that now is the time to cash in on requests for those CDs and DVDs she's been wanting. This weekend will be devoted to some serious Rose pampering (Do I know how to take care of a sick kid? Of course I do!).

That's Good Too
One of the best things about this is reflecting on our community. We have so many more friends to call on than we did long ago during Tom's surgeries. That's what letting God into your life does.He is overflowing in his generosity and that certainly extends to the circle of people who you know and love. Between our various retreat teams, others we know through St. Thomas, and (certainly not least) this blog, we know that all we have to do is ask and generous, caring friends will cover us with prayer, meals, or anything else we need during this time of crisis. And we are thankful for the visible Body of Christ.

As you can imagine, prayers are much appreciated. I'll update on this again on Tuesday or when the opportunity presents itself.

Friday, October 5, 2007

A Match Made in ... Heaven?



Sweeney Todd, Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Alan Rickman, Helena Bonham Carter ... it doesn't get much better than this ...

Via Jeffrey Overstreet

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Feast of the Guardian Angels

Reposted from last year ... I don't think I can top it. I also was gone during the Feast of the Archangels so here is last year's post about them.

Also be sure to check out what Mike Aquilina has to say on the subject.




Devotion to the Guardian Angels goes back to the beginnings of Christianity. Pope Clement X proclaimed the feast a universal celebration in the seventeenth century. The Guardian Angels serve as the messengers of God. The Almighty has allocated a Guardian Angel to each one of us for our protection and for the good of our apostolate...

We have to deal with our Guardian Angels in a familiar way, while at the same time recognizing their superior nature and grace. Though less palpable in their presence than human friends are, their efficacy for our benefit is far greater. Their counsel and suggestions come from God, and penetrate more deeply than any human voice. To reiterate, their capacity for hearing and understanding us is much superior even to that of our most faithful human friend, since their attendance at our side is continuous; they can enter more deeply into our intentions, desires and petitions than can any human being, since angels can reach our imagination directly without recourse to the comprehension of words. They are able to incite images, provoke memories, and make impressions in order to give us direction.
As devoted as I am to the Archangels, I am especially fond of my Guardian Angel. He is always there when I need him and has a wicked sense of humor. Perhaps wicked is not the right word. He must, therefore, have an angelic sense of humor! This is one of my favorite feast days.

For my personal angel stories, as well as some general information, you can read more here, here, and here.

Prayer to One's Guardian Angel

Dear Angel,
in his goodness God gave you to me to
guide, protect and enlighten me,
and to being me back to the right way when I go astray.
Encourage me when I am disheartened,
and instruct me when I err in my judgment.
Help me to become more Christlike,
and so some day to be accepted into
the company of Angels and Saints in heaven.
Amen.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Gone 'Til Monday ...

... to a place with limited email and computer availability. See you next week!

I'm a Mathete?

No, not a MathLETE

TO very kindly gave me a Mathetes Award which is...
A brand new award being passed out. It is the Mathetes Award, created by Dan King of Management by God to recognize those who take to heart the Great Commission and further God’s Kingdom by creating more disciples for Him. According to Dan mathetes is the Greek word for disciple.
The rules for the award, as posted by its creator are as follows:
In the spirit of this award, the rules are simple. Winners of this award must pick five other “disciples” to pass it on to. As you pass it on, I just ask that you mention and provide links for (1) this post as the originator of the award (Dan King of management by God), (2) the person that awarded it to you, and then (3) name and sites of the five that you believe are fulfilling the role of a disciple of Christ.
I have to agree with TO when she observed that choosing disciples is extremely difficult - not because there aren't many options, but because there are SO many! But here's my five in no particular order. Congratulations, and display your Mathete Award proudly ...
  1. Scott Nehring at Good News Film Reviews
  2. Adoro te Devote
  3. Steven Riddle at Flos Carmeli
  4. Penni at Martha, Martha
  5. Hey Jules at Maced With Grace