What I'm Doing for Lent

GIVING UP
Spending so much time blogging and on the computer in general. In the past I've given up computer games altogether and that was tough, but I think that merely limiting my computer time will be more challenging. When I say that I'll be putting on the morning's entries and then spending just an hour both reading others' blogs and working on mine, you can see how much time I've been slipping into the computer. When I tell you that my severest critics, my family, totally accept this as Lenten penance that just emphasizes it. I'll be using a timer and stopping whatever I am doing exactly when it goes off ... now that's going to take discipline.

ADDING ON
I'll be saying the Angelus every day at noon. This is a habit I've always wanted to acquire and Lent is the perfect time to add it.

OUR FAMILY DEVOTION
We'll be saying a decade of the rosary together as a family during Lent. This is another habit that I've been wanting to add and one that Tom is amenable to, so now we're just trying to decide on the best time ... right after dinner or right between our ritual viewing of "The Simpsons" and going to bed. Both have pros and cons but whichever we choose I'm very excited about this one. Our family has not been in the habit of praying together except before dinner and I've been trying to figure out how to get some of that into our lives.

All of these are habits I hope to keep going after Lent ends. They are definitely going to take some leaning on Our Lord to accomplish for a variety of reasons. I'm excited about going into the desert this year!

King Kong (1933) — Holy Mackerel, What a Show!

This is one of my all-time favorite movies and a true classic in its own right. King Kong is a simple story: intrepid filmmaker, Carl Denham, leads an expedition to Skull Island where they discover a 50-foot gorilla who becomes enamored of Ann Darrow (Fay Wray). He is captured and brought back to New York City as the "8th wonder of the world" where he inevitably runs amuck with Ann clutched in one hand and meets his death atop the Empire State Building. The skill of the movie makers is such that we thoroughly enjoyed it some 70 years later. Fay Wray has a scream that could stop a freight train; you could hear it over practically anything that the movie threw at it. The animation was star quality at the time and though it put the girls forcibly in mind of the stop animation they've seen in such modern classics as Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, it soon was forgotten in watching Kong wrestle with a T-rex.

It also was fun watching with the girls because, as fanciful as this movie was, it opened the door on a bit of history. It is set during the Depression so Denham watches a line of women going to a soup kitchen in searching for his starlet. That made us talk about how all-pervading it was that it was a common setting for this movie. We suddenly realized that love interest "Jack" looked a lot like Harrison Ford and this made us wonder if girls would talk about seeing the movie again to watch this cutie. When it came to the scenes with the island natives, both girls were shocked at how they were negatively portrayed and talked about as a matter of course ... no matter what some may think, we've come a long way in racial equality. Rose loved the way that Carl Denham talked. It was clipped and forceful and full of corny phrases (like the title of this post which is what he said when peeking through the tall grass to see the natives' rituals).

Although terribly predictable, it was a lot of fun watching terror stricken sailors meet their demise in totally clueless ways ... tip: when running from a 60-foot-tall monster, do not climb a tree; then you're just at eye level and easy to pick off. Also, it was a howl watching a variety of herbivores sport sharp, pointy teeth and eat one sailor after another.

I had seen this several times but only on Saturday afternoon "Monster Movies" shows. I did not remember Kong squashing natives underfoot or casually tossing New Yorkers back like a handful of popcorn. We assumed that these sequences had been cut for commercial time but then I discovered this in one Amazon reviewer's comments:

Final Notes: This is the "restored" version of the film, but it still does not include the legendary scene when four crewmen who are shaken off the log by Kong fall into a ravine where they are eaten alive by giant spiders. When first previewed the scene stopped the movie cold and Cooper pulled it from the film. The scenes that were cut in the late 1930s and not restored until the 1970s were (a) where Kong pulls Ann's clothes off; (b) the shots of the Apatosaurus (nee Brontosaurus) biting the sailors; (c) Kong eating natives when he breaks through the gate; (d) Kong stepping on a native; (e) Kong biting a New Yorker after escaping from the theater; and (f) Kong grabbing the wrong woman from the hotel and throwing her to her death. It would be nice if they could find the spider sequence or any of the other bits we know were cut by Cooper before the film was released, but it is probably never going to happen.

The print quality is not very good but that didn't matter as we were caught up in the movie. It's a lot of fun and we wound up talking fondly about it the next day as well ... perfect for a family that wants something different.

Why Do I Read So Many Vampire Books?

SUNSHINE by Robin McKinley

Although it is true that I have read Dracula by Bram Stoker about ten times, it is not true that I have a special love for the vampire genre. It just seems that my favorite authors like to occasionally turn their hand to writing vampire tales. What I find interesting is that they all have very logical twists on why vampires act as they do, while spinning wonderful stories at the same time.

Such is the case with Sunshine by Robin McKinley. Sunshine is a young woman who bakes "cinnamon rolls as big as your head" for her family's coffeehouse in a post-Voodoo War world where humans fight for existence with other "races" such as demons, werewolves, vampires, angles, ghouls, incubui, etc. She is kidnapped by a vampire gang and chained in a decrepit ballroom as a snack for magnetic, half-starved Constantine, a powerful vampire whose enemy shackled him there to perish slowly from daylight and deprivation. They manage to escape and form an alliance to fight the enemy while escaping detection by human SOFs (Special Other Forces)... otherwise, of course, it would be a very short book.

This book is loaded with coffeehouse ambiance, food talk, vampire-human attraction, mystery solving, magic, and self discovery. Anyone who has ever read anything by Robin McKinley knows that her books also include a lot of talk, talk, talk. I enjoy it because I like her style but admit that if it doesn't grab you then you'll be bored to death. However, if you like Robin McKinley (Beauty, The Outlaws of Sherwood, and one of my all-time favorite books, The Blue Sword) then you will find this thoroughly enjoyable. [Warning: it does contain a couple of sex or almost-sex scenes ... nothing too graphic but I'm not going to be passing this one along to Hannah or Rose, at least any time soon.]

All Under Heaven

HERO
If you told me I would watch a Chinese kung fu movie and come out raving about how good it was, I would have said that you were raving. I really hated Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Hero is simply in another class. Everything is presented with such simplicity even when it turns out to have underlying levels of complexity. The use of color, music, wind, shimmering silk, water and even ink makes this a work of art. Even the kung fu scenes had an elegance and grace that kept me riveted. It made sense and that probably is the greatest compliment I can give it. By the end we were all riveted, wondering what choice Nameless would make.

If you see the movie be sure to remember this note from Jeffrey Overstreet when watching. I forgot but find that it adds resonance to bring the message beyond just applying to China and to applying to our lives as a whole.

Note: Near the end of the film, a character delivers an important message in two words—"Our land." In the Chinese version, there are actually three words—"All under heaven." Zhang Yimou changed it out of concern that it would not translate properly. Frankly, I prefer "All under heaven."

Cooperating with the Spirit

We all know that God wants to reveal himself to us through Scripture. But just like everything else in the Christian life, Scripture won't just magically make sense to us. It's up to us to cooperate with the Spirit as we read the Bible. And that takes some time, some attention, and some perseverance.

The following guidelines may help you cooperate with the Spirit. Try implementing them over the next few days and see if they make a difference.

• Select a passage from the Bible you want to read...


• Don't read right away but begin with prayer. If you feel like singing or even humming a hymn you heard at Mass, do it.


• When you feel ready, read the Scripture passage you have chosen.


• Slowly read it again, dwelling on the words or phrases that struck you.


• Use your imagination to place yourself in the scene described in this passage.


• Imagine that Jesus is sitting across from you and speaking these words directly to you.


• Be still. During this quiet period, some words or pictures may bubble up in your thoughts. This may be God speaking to you -- especially if the images and thoughts lead you closer to Christ, fill you with hope, or stir your heart to love and forgive.


• Try to write out what you think God is saying to you and close with a prayer of praise and thanksgiving.

God wants to reveal himself to us in Scripture. Only through quiet reflection will we learn to hear his voice.

The Word Among Us

Digging Around at the Vatican

THE BONES OF ST. PETER: A 1st Full Account of the Search for the Apostle's Body by John Walsh
This book was a chance recommendation by an acquaintance when I was at our church's St. Jude library. I'm really grateful as I never would have picked up this page-turner otherwise.

Workmen lowering a floor led to the discovery of tombs beneath the basilica. This began an archaeological search for the fabled bones of the apostle St. Peter which tradition held lay beneath the altar. Pope Pius XII had a natural interest in "modern science" and gave the four Vatican archaeologists permission to search as long as the altar itself wasn't disturbed and they said nothing to anyone about it. Once the grave was discovered the mystery continues with the search for St. Peter's bones. The series of circumstances that occur to hide them and then uncover them are like something fictional. Sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction.

The author has a real talent for communicating archaeological information in laymen's terms. It read like a first class detective story and I often found myself staying up way too late at night to see what was discovered next. Also fascinating was the wealth of information about Christian worship in Rome during the early centuries. This book may be difficult to find as the person who recommended it told me it is no longer being published in this country. That may account for the high price of used books I saw at the Amazon listing. Nevertheless, it is well worth seeking out.

Everybody's Doing It

Interesting Dallas Morning News article (free registration required) about Protestants using beads to pray, sometimes the actual rosary and sometimes variations of it adapted to their particular beliefs. I have to say that this quote by a Presbyterian minister made me laugh, "The rosary is not just a Roman Catholic thing," Ms. Moore said. "Praying with beads has been part of our tradition since the beginning of the church. We need to claim what is ours." Ummmm, sorry, but that "church" she mentions was entirely Catholic in the beginning. Ah, well ... at least they're getting the benefit of the meditation brought by praying rosary no matter what prayers they are using.

A couple of good website resources from the article to check out:
Ecumenical Miracle Rosary - Uses traditional rosary but wih different prayers
Rosary Center - All about the Roman Catholic rosary and praying it
Christian Rosary - written about the rosary for all Christians and does a good job of explaining that Catholics do not worship Mary.

Novels of The Company

The Company's real name is Dr. Zeus. They are a 24th-century operation devoted to getting rich off the past. The Company turns orphans and refugees from the past into highly intelligent, physically invincible cyborgs and sends them on missions to save or hide precious paintings, cultural treasures, and genetic information useful to the future world.

In the first book, In the Garden of Iden, 5-year old Mendoza is rescued from the Spanish Inquisition by a company operative. After undergoing training and a series of surgeries to turn her into a cyborg, Mendoza is reunited with her rescuer, Joseph, and sent on a mission to Elizabethan England to rescue rare plants before they become extinct. Once there, she falls in love with Nicholas who has a secret of his own. He is a Protestant in Catholic England.

Sky Coyote is told from Joseph's point of view in 1699 when he is reunited with Mendoza for a mission. They must save an ancient people from encroachment by the coming white men by convincing the entire pre-Columbian village to step into the future. Most interesting in this book is our first view of people from the future who are afraid of real food, nature, the cyborgs, and insist on political correctness at all costs.

Mendoza in Hollywood finds Mendoza with a team in California during the Civil War. Everything is pretty routine except for a strange anomaly nearby when the doppelganger of Mendoza's lost love comes by. He's a British spy and that is not a good thing.

The Graveyard Game is told largely from Lewis' point of view. Mendoza has been missing for some time and he and Joseph are trying to discover what is going on. The plot thickens when they discover other cyborgs are missing and a seeming conspiracy of the future people to shut the immortals down.

Black Projects, White Knights is a collection of short stories about The Company operatives throughout time as they have encounters with famous people and try to recover "lost" treasures. It fills in a few of the blanks in The Company's history while adding to the mystery about Nicholas. The character of Alec Checkerfield is introduced here who I believe is the main character of the newest Company book, The Life of the World to Come.

Somewhat surprisingly, as I am such a fan of this series, I do not find Mendoza a very attractive character. I much prefer Joseph and Lewis and, therefore, the novels told from their viewpoints. However, no matter who is narrating, the intrigue and suspense are riveting as the "immortals" move through time closer to the date beyond which no news comes back. Baker is a master at weaving complex tales that leave you on the edge of your seat. She also has a wonderful sense of humor and talent for making the past come alive believably. I imagine she did quite a bit of research especially for the earlier books. Highly recommended.

Are Your Prayers Answered?

We always are told that our prayers are answered but sometimes God says, "No." This is probably the best and most complete answer I have ever seen as to why that "No" might be ... it is because the fault is within ourselves.

Jesus assures us emphatically that if we seek, we shall find (not just perhaps); if we ask, it will be given to us; if we knock, it will be opened (Mt 7:7-8). Yet, you will may wonder, what are we to think of the petitions we make that do not seem answered?

Several observations are in order. First of all, the Lord is supposing that the normal situation, namely, that we are praying as we ought to pray. There are conditions to be fulfilled -- as is normal in other human relationships as well. The first one is that we seek before all else our greatest good and the genuine welfare of others. If that is lacking, what else matters? Scripture teaches us plainly that if we seek the Lord with all our heart and all our soul, we shall find him (Deut 4:29). Saints always find God, and in finding him they obtain everything else they need. the psalmist tells us to be sure that the Lord does wonders for his faithful ones (Ps 4:3, JB). So we need to ask: Am I faithful? The New Testament insists that whatever we ask for we will receive because we keep his commandments and live the kind of life God knows is best for us (1 Jn 3:22). Are you and I living that kind of life?

The second and third conditions for our prayers to be answered are included in the first one. Namely, we are to ask with full trust in the Lord (Jas 1:5-8), and we are to seek the right things, what is best for ourselves and for others (Jas 4:2-3). We are to put first things first and ask for genuine goods.

One further question: Suppose we ask for the conversion of a sinner, surely a good and holy petition, and yet he does not give up the wrongdoing or does not return to the Church? What has happened? Has God answered this prayer? Yes, indeed. He has given the transgressor all the graces he needs for a complete conversion; the Lord has responded to the prayer. Yet he leaves the sinner free to use the graces given or not to use them. God forces himself on no one. St. Monica, the mother of the tremendous Augustine, prayed for twenty years for the conversion of her son. The Holy Spirit was working on his mind and heart for two decades (thus responding to the mother's tears and petitions), and when her son finally said a complete Yes, he was mightily converted, not only to the state of grace, but eventually to the very heights of heroic holiness and the transforming union of prayer. Worthy prayers are indeed answered.

Prayer Primer, Thomas Dubay, S.M.

This Conservative Sister Likes That Progressive Brother's Attitude

I have changed the name of what was once "Progressive Catholic Blogs" and expanded it. It is now "Catholic Blogs," and it includes thirty blogs instead of the previous fifteen. I've added a number of moderate and conservative weblogs. Why the name change, and why the addition of moderates/conservatives? Am I flip-flopping again? No, I've become quite comfortable being a progressive/orthodox Catholic. I've changed the name of this section and expanded it to include a more diverse selection because I feel that, despite our many differences, we are still one Church. We have differences on a number of things -- everything from gay marriage to female priests to life issues. Despite these differences, I do believe that what unites us is greater than what divides us, because what unites us is a common Catholic Christian belief in Jesus Christ, and a common Catholic Christian Eucharist. What division can overcome this unity? So, even though I am quite comfortable with my own progressive Catholic faith, which is at its core still orthodox despite the claims of others, I do consider my moderate and conservative brothers and sisters as just that -- my brothers and sisters. We bicker, and at times it even gets ugly, but we can never change the fact that we are one Mystical Body of Christ, one People of God, one Church.

Nathan at Fides, Spes, Caritas, as a self-declared progressive Catholic is someone who I don't agree with a lot of the time. However, I've gotta go with him on this one ... what unites us is so much greater than what divides us. It was something that I have always remembered from reading All the Pope's Men. John Allen, while writing in the finest nonjudgmental journalistic style, repeatedly reminded readers that, whether liberal or conservative, we are all passionate because we love God and His Church and want to do right by it.

I have also learned that from Talmida whose honesty and passion I find just as inspirational as I find many of her views infuriating (I can say that because I'm fairly sure she'd say the same about me ... it's that love/hate thing going on!). She is the only person I have had a debate with who has stopped and said that I probably was right but she realized she just didn't want to admit it. I can't tell you how much I admire that ability to reexamine your position and then admit it. Total honesty. Wow.

I was just bringing that point up to my girls the other day. They are just the age to have liberal- or conservative-bashing break out on either side of discussions in the cafeteria. That reminder of our common love of Christ puts a human face on all my brothers and sisters whether I agree with them or not. Good on you, Nathan!

Traits of Biblical Prayer, Part II

[continued from Traits of Biblical Prayer, Part I]

Another combination that no Aristotle, no Plato, no Socrates, no oriental master has been able to conceive is the glorious interweaving of an awesomely vivid and reverent appreciation of God's endless power, might, and majesty together with a touching and tender familiarity we may have with him. Infinitely mighty though he be, this Lord is always caring and loving -- even to the extent of the appalling scene of the crucifixion.

If you or I had composed a book of prayer with no help from revelation, we would have made it I/me-centered. We would have been its focus and center of gravity. But biblical prayer has it right: it is rightly and utterly God-centered, while at the same time it shows the Lord tenderly caring for us as the apple of his eye. What could present so beautiful a picture as that of the father running to meet his returning prodgal son with a hug and a tender kiss? Then, too, while the psalmist is filled with awe at the wonders of creation, he is struck even more with the beauty of the divine Artist. Consequently, he overflows with ecstatic delight. we have here combined supreme optimism and entire realism.

Finally, who of us would have thought of prayer becoming continual and yet at the same time leaving us free to give unhindered attention to other people and to our work? Thus it becomes when the faithful reach the summit, the transforming union.

Prayer Primer, Thomas Dubay, S.M.

Next up in the prayer series (which I really didn't intend but find myself drawn to) will be "Are Your Prayers Answered?"

Traits of Biblical Prayer, Part I

[continued from Biblical Prayer Themes, Part VI]

... no other religion, oriental or occidental, begins to compare in its account of human relating to the divine with the elegance, splendor, and richness we find in Sacred Scripture. The magnificence of this inspired description of prayer is, of course, part and parcel of the whole splendor of the trinitarian plan of salvation. We can therefore summarize some of the overall traits of the scriptural account.

Our twelve types of prayer combine characteristics that no merely human minds have come close to conceiving, let alone implementing. On the one hand, there is tremendous, even unspeakable joy, love, delight, a huge optimism, and, on the other hand, all of this is happily and confidently related to our weakness, sinfulness, suffering, pain, and failures. No other literature produced by our human race has been so real, so encouraging, so healing, so utterly satisfying to sincere and thoughtful men and women.

Prayer Primer, Thomas Dubay, S.M.

[Traits of biblical prayer to be continued...]

My "Aha!" Moment from Yesterday

i know there are *sandpaper* people and *velvet* people in our lives - from a devotional i read many years ago that has stuck with me.

the sandpaper people are used to sand away your rough spots, as in polishing a diamond. they are irritating, annoying, there for good reason.

the velvet people (like my friends, here) are in your life because their words are soothing. make you feel better, feel loved.

while neither is more important than the other, both are extremely necessary for our growth.

martha, martha said this in her comments box yesterday and I'm putting in in my "quotes journal" ... too true ... thanks, p!

Prevailing Against Temptation

You say you cannot believe that temptations against the faith and the Church come from God. But whoever told you that they did? He can send darkness, helplessness, can keep you tied to your perch, can lead you into dereliction, and strip you of all strength, can upset your spiritual digestion and make your inner mouth taste bitter so that the sweetest wine in the world turns to gall; but suggestions of blasphemy, infidelity, unbelief -- oh, no, these can never come from our merciful God: he is too pure to conceive such ideas.

Shall I tell you what part God plays in this? He allows the evil maker of lies to come and offer us these forgeries for sale, so that by despising them we may prove our affection for divine things. And are we to get anxious about it and change our attitude? O no, never, never! It is the devil who is roaming all round our soul, spreading confusion and prying to see whether he cannot find some door open somewhere. that is what he did to Job, to Saint Anthony, Saint Catherine of Siena, and an infinite number of good sould that I know, and to my own soul which is good for nothing and which I do not know. Well now, are we to be put out by all this? Let him kick his heels outside, and keep all the doors and windows tightly shut: he will get tired of it in the end, and if he does not, God will make him raise the siege. Remember what I told you once before: it is a good sign that he should be making so much noise and raising such a tempest in this matter of your will, for it is a sign that he has not got in.

St. Francis de Sales via Magnificat

Rebuilding Again and Again

As a house ages, it begins to show the wear and tear of years and years of use and daily life. The paint is chipped, the doors and windows perhaps dirty and a bit rough to use. This is much like our faith life as we mature and become adults, the wear and tear of daily life and maturing begin to wear on us. We become dirty with sin as we are constantly misled in life or we make the wrong decisions, decisions that do not please God. Our faith in God lags and often times disappears almost entirely. We favor the life and worldly experiences over God and our faith experience with him.

It is only at this point in a house's life that it is renovated, made new again. It must essentially be torn down, in part or in whole, and made new again. A renovated house looks new again; it might be better than the original, updated and modern, while still maintaining the best elements of the old house. This house renovation is much like our faith life; our faith life has been so destroyed or harmed, it must be torn down to its bare bones and rebuilt again, to become even stronger and more beautiful than before.

John B. at The Catholic Packer Fan reflects on the need for continual renovation of our souls. After much lecturing by our Honors Biology Student, it occurs to me that this is similar to our physical renovation. Our skin cells replace themselves every day ... yep, totally new. Our bones are constantly being rebuilt and have been totally replaced within a 7-year period. If this is necessary for my physical self, then why would it not be necessary for my soul? Just as I absolutely detest exercise but must do it for good health, so also do I detest the stripping down and rebuilding of my faith ... but God does it for my own good, just like that daily exercise.

Rose Has Chosen ... and It is Blue

Rose loves music and craves an iPod. She has a lot of money in her savings account and pulled out enough to combine with Grandma's Christmas money to buy herself the iPod of her dreams ... a blue mini, with free engraving on the back and free shipping (thank you student discount!). You wouldn't believe how many of Hannah's and Rose's friends have had iPods ... all given by their parents. We wonder what those kids have to look forward to later when all their wishes are fulfilled so quickly. It just makes me even prouder that Rose did not expect one to be given to her and didn't begrudge paying for it herself. She also will be the only person I know with a blue one ... that's my individualistic girl!

Sounds Like Faith to Me

I believe, but I cannot prove, that all life, all intelligence, all creativity and all "design" anywhere in the universe, is the direct or indirect product of Darwinian natural selection.

Richard Dawkins of Oxford University, January 4, 2005 NY Times article

"I believe, but I cannot prove..."

Beg pardon? That sounds as if this famous Darwinian is taking evolution on faith. Ok, I can live with that but then stop sounding as if evolution is a proven fact with no loopholes. All we're asking for is a little consistency please.

Got it from Suspend Your Disbelief.

Huh?

Hannah was at a birthday party Saturday night and the talk turned to parents as it often does (watch out ... your teenagers are busy discussing and comparing all the time). Hannah's friends suddenly were all in agreement that Tom and I are very cool and they'd move in with us in a second. (They say that because they don't live here, believe me!) I take this as a great compliment because a bunch of 16-year-olds will cut you down to size in a second (at least to their friends because these kids are all polite).

Rose is dumbfounded by this sudden status. She keeps saying, "They have met Mom and Dad, haven't they?

Yeah, I don't get it either because they have met us. We are the usual, uncool, overweight, graying, rule enforcing, stick-in-the-mud parents. Tom is the one who suddenly sees a connection between a school story and the Russian revolution and delivers a world history lesson at dinner ... or who goes and gets the Oxford English dictionary so we can all talk about the roots of a certain word. I am the "on fire" Catholic convert mom who makes everyone pray before dinner and then tells little Padre Pio parables to the philosophy-crazy, not-sure-if-he-believes-in-God boy having dinner with us. Or the one who suddenly stops and gives a lecture on keeping your virginity to a kitchen full of girls who are just getting a snack (you can imagine the story they were telling to make me suddenly deliver that little bomb).

The only thing that we can figure is we are interested in these kids and enjoy talking to them. We treat them as people who mean something to us. It's nice that they recognize that on some level. And it's sad that they don't get it in enough other places.

Biblical Prayer Themes, Part V

[continued from Biblical Prayer Themes, Part IV]

10. Delighting and rejoicing. The community of both Testaments, Old and New alike, is remarkable in how frequently it expresses the intense joy the faithful are routinely expected to experience in the course of their daily lives. They seem to know nothing of boredom. This delight is mentioned over and over again in the psalter and in the prayer life of the Church. Our hearts and our flesh are to thrill with gladness in the living God as we sing alleluias to him as the very source of the thrilling (Ps 84:2). We exult in this Lord and in his marvels (Ps 9:1-16; 40:5; 75:1), and this we do with endless shouts of exultation and triumph (Ps 5:11, 20:5). With the exception of the Lenten season the Church through the year repeats in her daily liturgies these shouts of alleluia.

11. The sound of music. As though all this were not enough, both the inspired word and the contemporary Church elicit the resources of musical talents and instruments. As one of our recent popes remarked, echoing St. Augustine, they who sing pray twice. All this God's people did with gusto. They sang the wonders the Lord had wrought in salvation history (Ps 105:1-5). Their prayer was expressed with music sounding to their King (Ps 47:1, 5-6; 57:7-9; 59:16-17). At least on one occasion they set aside timidity in their celebrations: they praised the transcendent greatness of God with lyre and harp, strings and reeds, the beating of drums and the clashing of cymbals -- and yes, with dancing, too, in praise of his name. For example, David and the community "danced before Yahweh with all their might, singing to the accompaniment of lyres, harps, tambourines, castanets, and cymbals: (2 Sam 6:5; Ps 87:7; 149:3; 150:1-6). Nothing dreary and dull here. Perhaps they were praying three or four times!

12. Amen! In Greek, Latin, and Hebrew, "amen" meant "yes indeed, certainly, so may it be." And so our last words here are reserved to Jesus and his Mother. Both insisted on the identification of their and our wills with that of the Father: "Our Father ... Your will be done ..." and "Let it be done to me according to your word." Yes, amen: let your will be done. So be it. Identifying our will with the divine will is the veryheart of sanctity. And the more perfect the identification, the more lofty the holiness. Both the transforming union in contemplative prayer and the practice of heroic virtue (there is an intercausality between these two traits of perfect sanctity) involve complete identification with the divine will.

The single word "amen" is an affirmation of what God positively wills or of his permitting something to occur (for a still greater good). It reminds us of St. Francis de Sales remarking that if we knew all that God knows, we would will to happen exactly what does happen (see also Rom 8:28). Amen, the conclusion of many prayers in the Church's liturgy, is a proclamation of the all-knowing wisdom of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. (For more on this variety of biblical prayer, see CCC 2623-49.)

Prayer Primer, Thomas Dubay, S.M.

My Conversion Story

BECOMING CHRISTIAN
My parents are atheists so there was no religion in our home. They never tried to prejudice us against religion, they just never talked of it. It was kind of like talking about sex ... it was the unspoken rule that you just didn't mention religion. As issues came up, we were taught to be good people in the morality of popular culture … work hard and do your best, be honest, don’t steal, cheat or lie. We learned that a lot of other issues were all relative. As long as you didn't hurt other people or break the law what you did was your own business. Of course, even though they never talked about it, we all knew that those boring church-goers were weak because they needed a crutch like religion to get by.

During our early married life neither Tom or I gave God much thought. We were just living our lives. And then God used what we cared about most to get our attention.

Hannah had a terrible teacher in public school and nothing we tried solved the problem so halfway through kindergarten we switched her to St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic School. Her religion teacher asked all the kids who went to Mass every Sunday. Almost all the kids raised their hands. Hannah didn't. Mrs. McDaniel told those children that they needed to go home and tell their parents that they should be going to Mass every week. Dutifully Hannah passed the message. There is no one for knowing black from white and "yes" from "no" like a kindergartener. She didn't buy our feeble excuses and started quoting her religion lessons to us. Pretty soon we were attending weekly Mass at St. Thomas.

Tom is Catholic but he hadn't attended church in a long time. I wasn't even sure if there was a God. How are you ever really sure? Most of the “proof” anyone ever offered seemed an awful lot like coincidence to me. But, I couldn't sit there week after week listening to Father B. without starting to wonder … is there a God or not?

I was so clever, I figured out a sure fire way to find out. (I'll just say here that I am thankful God protects fools because looking back I can't believe I had such nerve!) About a year before, we had tried everything to sell our house. Even though the realtor said everything was just right and there should have been no problem, no one would even make an offer. So, kneeling at Mass one day, I made God a deal. All He had to do was to get a me a new house as a sign. Then I’d know He was there … and I’d have a new house.

Of course, nothing happened. Except, that because I had made that deal I found myself listening more carefully at Mass and thinking even more. After about a year had gone by, when we were kneeling at Mass one Sunday, I told God the deal was off. I didn't need proof. It wasn't because of any dramatic feeling or discovery. I just didn't have a reason not to believe anymore so I went ahead and took His existence on faith.

That week our new accountant found major errors in the past three years' taxes that gave us a huge refund ... $11,000 ... enough for a down payment on a new house, new furniture and some remodeling. In a time when houses were being bought within days of going on the market, we found a house that had been sitting on the market for months for no apparent reason … except it was perfect for us and the price just been lowered to exactly the amount we could afford. Two weeks after that our house was sold without ever going on the market ... to a girl who was determined to have a house with our exact specifications, only within a six block area that we were right in the middle of. All the realtors and the people at the title company individually marveled at how smooth and fast things went on the sale of our old house and the purchase of our new one. They all said they had never seen anything like it.

I don't believe in coincidence any more.

BECOMING CATHOLIC
Now I had faith but I didn't see any reason to become Catholic. Hannah and Rose had their First Communions and Tom went to confession and started taking communion again. I didn't mind sitting in the pew until they got back. But, over time, whenever everyone went for communion I developed a yearning for the Eucharist that became an actual physical ache. This went on for months. A few weeks before Easter I decided I’d better find out how to become Catholic because I couldn't stand it any more. I couldn't believe it when I found out I would have to wait about a year before completing RCIA and entering the Church the next Easter. That was the longest year of my life, although I found RCIA to be an interesting spiritual journey in itself ... which I did not expect. I think it is funny that I am such a reader (and have been my whole life) but God chose to reach me in a way that was totally outside books at all.

Finally it was the Easter Vigil of 2000, the wonderful day when I was Catholic and could have the Eucharist. I love it. I love the traditions, I love the saints, I love the Eucharist … I love being Catholic. (That was about 6 years after I told God I believed in Him.)

And God blessed me that day in a way that I will never forget.

When I was kneeling after Communion I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked up to see my father-in-law smiling at me as he walked toward the altar. He had not been to communion since the 1960s when Vatican II changes made him so mad that he turned his back on the Church altogether. Tom’s devout mother and his aunts had been praying for many, many years for his return to the faith so I was thrilled to see him take communion. His sister, Tom’s aunt, was my sponsor and she hissed in my ear, “Has he been to confession?” I was so happy I just said, “That’s between him and God. Let it go.”

Later Tom’s mother said that my father-in-law told her that if I had decided to become Catholic it was because I had thought about it thoroughly and knew it was the right thing to do. That was when he decided to come back to the Church. And, yes, he had been to confession. He had carefully planned to have his return to communion be at my confirmation. He had gone before they left Houston. For my father-in-law to show such total respect of my decision to become Catholic by rethinking his faith was overwhelming. Even more overwhelming was the realization that God had used my conversion not just for my good but to reach someone close to me ... and I had been totally unaware of it.

One of the things that made my conversion so powerful to me in retrospect is that it was done without any reading or influence from outsiders at all. This was all just between God and me. No one else's opinion was even solicited as I really didn't talk about that sort of thing. (I know a bunch of people probably wish I was still that way!) One of my confirmation gifts was a book by Scott Hahn that started me down a whole new path of reading. I had no idea anyone wrote books about this stuff! I devoured Scott Hahn, Peter Kreeft, Francis Sheed, books about the saints, everything I could get my hands on ... and so on to the CRHP retreat and so on to Happy Catholic ... and here I am today, waiting to see where He's gonna take me next on this wild, but very interesting ride.