Never say to God: "Enough!" Simply say: "I am ready."

I ran this in May and am coming back around to it again as my mother is in home-hospice. She's lived with us for almost 6 years. Her 91st birthday will be on August 2. As with many things in life, there is no predicting how long this hospice will last, though she does seem to be slowly powering down.

As hospice was put into place, I realized that, once again, I am being asked to serve at a level that never occurred to me. Not only am I taking care of my mother physically in new ways, but our whole family is. We all have come to grips with this challenge together and it makes me love our family so much more. Even 8-month-old baby Gemma and 4-year-old Andy have done their bit as my mother becomes more herself when my daughter brings them for frequent visits. 

I have never been more thankful to be Catholic as every bit of suffering is not wasted but given dignity and purpose as God uses it for our good. It also makes me remember Thomas Merton's friend saying that we must all desire to be saints. I do desire that. Then when you recognize him pushing you a bit closer to holiiness, as I do now, you say, "yes, but ..."  

This piece is the perfect reminder that instead I must be saying, "I am ready."

Every illness and every trial is permitted by God as the means whereby we can best ensure our salvation and as the material most fitted for our sanctification. Take your illness as a penance given you by God, who knows the extant of your debts to him as well as the best way in which you can discharge them. You should be content to do as he wishes, for he is satisfied with far less than you owe him.

Read into everything God's explicit will. Suffer with our Lord, uniting your sufferings to his. Don't look for sufferings, but do not refuse them. Value them as precious marks of favor that he bestows on you. Don't desire to exchange them for others, but don't torment yourself by adding to them. Don't fix your eyes on the lash that scourges you, but kiss and adore the loving hand and heart wielding it.

God is not content to see you merely suffering with patience. He wants you to be grateful and to approve of what he does. ...

Feel a more lively gratitude towards those who brace you up and invigorate you in your pain than towards those who merely commiserate you. An unpitied pain wins greater merit before God. Never say to God: "Enough!" Simply say: "I am ready."

St. Sebastian Valfre

This is a controversial take on suffering these days. But my own experience makes it seem sound. Not that I am able to be grateful but, without understanding the big picture, I can accept that what God sends is meant for my own good. Especially difficult is the advice that we have a lively gratitude to those who "invigorate" us in our pain. I still resent those people. But remembering that advice helps lessen my resentment some.