No Room to Swing a Cat

Mrs. Crupp had indignantly assured him that there wasn't room to swing a cat there; but, as Mr. Dick justly observed to me, sitting down on the foot of the bed, nursing his leg, "You know, Trotwood, I don't want to swing a cat. I never do swing a cat. Therefore, what does that signify to ME!"

Charles Dickens, David Copperfield

Dickens has some of the most amusing characters and dialogue of anyone. Not an original observation, of course, but he continually cracks me up.