"Lord, if I have been a worthy servant to You, grant me one small favor. Let me at least hit him with this candle. After all, Lord, what is a candle?"This is one of my favorite passages so naturally it is included in Scott's and my discussion of the book on our podcast. But for those who might not listen, here it is in good old print.
"No," replied Christ. "Your hands were made for blessing."
Don Camillo sighed wearily. He genuflected and left the altar. As he turned to make a final sign of the cross, he found himself exactly behind Peppone, who still knelt at the altar rail and appeared absorbed in prayer.
"Lord," groaned Don Camillo, clasping his hands and looking up at the crucifix, "my hands were made for blessing, but not my feet."
"There's something in that," replied Christ, "but, I warn you, just one."
The kick landed like a thunderbolt. Peppone didn't bat an eye. After a minute he got up and sighed.
"I've been expecting that for the past ten minutes," he remarked casually. "I feel better now."
Giovanni Guareschi, The Little World of Don Camillo