A couple of days ago, walking through the parking garage in the morning, it crossed my mind to pray for patience.
I recalled a conversation from the night before where a friend said that he didn't pray for patience because he didn't want to be sent occasions to practice. So he would pray for the other people, the ones who were causing him grief. We shouted with laughter over this idea that he had found a loophole. (One of the best known examples of this idea of God sending occasions to practice can be found here.)
However, it had rubbed off enough that when the thought crossed my mind, I pushed it away. I didn't want to bring extra practice upon myself (and I have had plenty of experience with that ... just try asking the Holy Spirit what you need to work on. Oh, the humanity!). Oh, bad influence that I allowed my friend to be!
Then I went on to have one heckuva day. Holy Moly, did it test my patience repeatedly. In fact, I found myself constantly thinking, "Just hold on. Be patient. Don't lose it." In trying circumstances I am not usually that self aware.
As I wearily returned to my car, much later than usual, the morning's thought came back to me. I told God, "Look, it was a stray thought. Not an actual prayer!" And then had a hearty laugh at myself for my silliness.
Later I realized that perhaps that had been a nudge because I was going to need patience and a prayer for help would have given me some extra grace.
Oh so foolish as we are to think that we can outsmart God.
No comments:
Post a Comment