When you have children you are provided with a whole new way to see the world. Young children allow you to relive those days of your own long gone youth when the world was new. Having teenagers shows you the freshness of "trying on" adult behavior, the excitement of seeing a whole future ahead of your, and ... is a vivid reminder of what it was to always be on the cusp of knowing the hippest music, movies, and trends. Thanks to Rose and Hannah, we have seen Daywatch (twice), a Russian vampire movie that very few of our regular acquaintances have ever heard of, unless they are movie geeks.
We hear at least some of the music (a few songs of which have found their way onto my play list), watch the movies together, and get asked if the latest Facebook rumor could be true (sorry, I don't see any confirmation that Firefly is going to film a second season for television ... it's a lovely dream though). It is a small window and one that will close as they grow older but interesting while it's open. We ourselves aren't hip, but we know how to recognize the real thing right now.
What was brought vividly to me recently, however, is that my teenagers also are like a window on those slightly older people who are just getting the scoop that they are no longer on that cusp.
I remember a while back when a friend in her late twenties was talking to Rose at some event we had dragged her to. My friend was trying to talk about music to Rose and asked if Rose liked to listen to Justin Timberlake, who was just then making his "comeback." The look on Rose's face was truly laughable. She was struggling to keep a straight face and be respectful, while simultaneously trying to think of how to gracefully communicate that no one with musical savvy of her age would listen to Timberlake. My friend saw that look and, confused, said, "Isn't he popular? Who do you listen to?" Rose then reeled off a list of bands that my friend had never heard of. To her credit, my friend started laughing and said, "Well, I guess I'm not as cool as I thought I was."
More recently, Tom and I were at a birthday party for a younger friend, probably in her late twenties or early thirties (yes, I should remember as it was a birthday party, but ... I don't). A friend of hers gave her a CD and then sparkled at me that, "We have to help her stay cool you know!" I don't remember who the singer was, but I do remember that it was someone who was only cool if you were of a certain age. I smiled and asked if she liked a similar sort of artist who Hannah and Rose listened to. She had never heard of them.
I didn't put these incidents together until much more recently.
Again, I was at a gathering and found myself among several couples who are parents of young children. One of them asked, "What is Facebook?" A small silence and then another said, "It's like MySpace." Another small silence and I said, "It's a social networking thing. You know so that it's easy to get people together for parties and things like that." My friend said, "What? I just made little cards and drew beer mugs on them." This struck me as sweetly quaint ... and certainly slow. I was trying to explain that things would move too fast sometimes, "You know, sometimes Hannah's friends will ask 17 people in the afternoon to go to the movies that night ..." There was an incredulous, "17 people to the movies!"
Bantering began about the fact that no one is going to do that and "movies is code for kegger..." I was still trying to explain and heard someone say, amid howls of laughter, "Julie thinks they are really going to the movies!" "Right! And popcorn is code for ... " At that point I gave up. There was no point in giving examples of the many times I had fed up to 20 kids who hung out at our house until time to go on a scavenger hunt (code for ... scavenger hunt) or to the midnight movies. It was completely good natured on their part and these are some of my favorite people so I didn't want to be ... uncool. Which didn't stop it from making me mad because no one likes to be laughed at for being clueless.
Now, if I had had one or two more drinks, I probably would have laughed along and reminded them that I am just a tad more clued-in than they thought. Thanks to the hounding of others, for example, I actually have a space on Facebook, for example. Sadly I was not that cool. I probably showed my feelings a bit too much before turning to other subjects with other people. Oh well, none of us is perfect. (Interestingly when I told Hannah and Rose about this, each was indignant at the aspersions cast on their characters ... and those of their friends. But they've never been under any illusions that they and their friends aren't geeks ... which, in it's own way, is a cool thing in itself.)
However, Tom had heard most of it. Later on, he said, "You know, the really funny part of all that? They think they are still in touch with what is hip. But they have slid out of it just like everyone does. They just don't know it yet."
That made me remember those other examples ... and see it as one more little window on the world, an interesting cultural observation point, that we have through our kids. For the moment. Until they too, slide from knowing what is hip into cluelessness. Which is completely fine. As long as you know it.
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