Good Old Sin

Considering "good old sin," in the sense that the ancient monks understood it, exposes the vast difference between their worldview and our own. These days, when someone commits an atrocity, we tend to sigh and say, "That's human nature." But our attitude would seem wrong headed to the desert monks, who understood human beings to be part of the creation that God called good, special in that they are made in the image of God. Sin, then, is an aberration, not natural to us at all. This is why Gregory of Nyssa speaks so often of "[returning] to the grace of that image which was established in you from the beginning." Gregory, in fact, saw it as our lifelong task to find out what part of the divine image God has chosen to reveal in us. Like the other early monks, he suggest that we can best do this by realistically determining how God has made us -- what our primary faults and temptations are, as well as our gifts -- not that we may better "know ourselves" or in modern parlance, "feel good about ourselves," but in order that we might become instruments of divine grace for other people and eventually return to God.

The Cloister Walk

This actually ties in quite well with Steven Riddle's post Self-Knowledge and Christ's Knowledge which starts out considering what he has learned about himself and ends with a love letter to St. Blog's. A quite remarkable read and highly recommended (as is practically everything Steven writes ... yes, I'm a fan).

So meddling in things that are beyond me has taught me a great deal about the masks I wear and the image I would like to project. It has also taught me not to be ashamed of the fact that I am ultimately driven more by feeling than by intellect. There are those who would have one feel bad about such an arrangement, but so long as the feelings are as informed as one possibly can do, it seems that they may provide a solution when the intellect alone cannot resolve the perceived difficulty.

This dismantling of self is very painful, but also very productive. I discovered in it abilities that I had long thought were beyond me. I found ways of listening and ways around some of my own obstacles. I found in this dismantling a hint of who I am in Christ.