I appreciate the many people who care enough to take the time and trouble to write mentioning that belief in horoscopes is against Church teachings. However, I would appreciate it equally, indeed actually much more, if right before sending that email, those same people would actually read the day's horoscope and perhaps click through to the cited sources: The Onion (warning, site can have explicit content) or Dr. Boli.
They would then see that 'tis all in good fun. Not to mention making fun of horoscopes.
Just in case there are any doubts, here is a random sampling. If they don't make you laugh (or smile at the very least) then we do not share the same sense of humor:
- You'll soon discover three new planets, a dwarf star, and two orbiting satellites—an incredible achievement for someone just trying to peer in on his neighbor.
- A surprise party looms in your future. Although, technically speaking, the "surprise" has more to do with how few people will show up.
- You'll stop going with your gut and start listening to your heart, almost instantly ruining your career in public relations.
- The stars foresee a time of great vagueness and something or other in your future. Also, there will be a chair.
- Your science-fiction novel will be heralded as a "work of utmost urgency and importance" by critics in a mirror universe this week.
- A panel of twelve jurors will soon find you guilty of a crime you didn't commit very well.
- You will lose hours trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, moments after quickly and easily fitting a round peg into a square hole.
- The stars are sorry, but writing greeting-card messages does not make you a poet. Take comfort in the fact that, since this is America, you'll make the lists anyway.
- Lady Luck will be on your side this week. Unfortunately for you, Lady Skill, Lady Experience, and Lady Applied Probability Theory won't.
- The stars are becoming a little upset at your constant pestering about the future. Would it kill you to maybe loosen up a little and live for the moment?
- A double-inclined plane will—through the application of downward force—drive a wedge between you and your spouse this week.
- People say you have one of the biggest egos in the world, but what they probably mean is best—one of the best egos in the world.
Thank you for your concern!
I thought my post about why I have horoscopes in the sidebar was definitive. Let me say this more bluntly, as it clearly is not definitive for those whose minds are unable to take in more than one concept concerning a subject. I am not endorsing horoscopes. I am explaining why my horoscopes are amusing and a mockery of regular horoscopes. It is not an apologia for the occult as anyone with half a brain can see. Take your soap box elsewhere. Thank you.