The Choosing of the Twelve

It is evident that from the beginning, Our Blessed Lord intended to prolong His teaching, and His reign and His very life "unto the consummation of the world;" but in order to do this He had to call to Himself a body of men to whom He would communicate certain powers that He had brought with Him to earth. This body would not be a social body such as a club, united only for the sake of pleasure and convenience; nor would it be a political body, held together by common material interests; it would be truly spiritual, the cement of which would be charity and love and the possession of His Spirit. If the society or Mystical Body Our lord wanted to found was to have continuity, it would need a head and members. If it was a vineyard, as He declared in one of His parables, it would need laborers; if it was a net, it would need fishermen; if it was a field, it would need sowers and reapers; if it was a herd, or a flock, it would need shepherds.

Life of Christ by Fulton Sheen

I found Sheen had such wonderful insight into the characters of Jesus' disciples, that I will be posting his commentary about each person here in the next few days.

Healed of the Bite of Evil

This Son of Man must be lifted up as the serpent was lifted up by Moses in the wilderness, so that everyone who has faith in him may in him possess eternal life. John 3:14-15

The Book of Numbers relates that when the people murmured rebelliously against God, they were punished with a plague of fiery serpents, so that many lost their lives. When they repented, Moses was told by God to make a brazen serpent and set it up for a sign, and all those bitten by the serpents who looked upon that sign would be healed. Our Blessed Lord was not declaring that He was to be lifted up, as the serpent had been lifted up. As the brass serpent had the appearance of a serpent and yet lacked its venom, so too, when He would be lifted up upon the bars of the Cross, He would have the appearance of a sinner and yet be without sin. As all who looked upon the brass serpent had been healed of the bit of the serpent, so all who looked upon Him with love and faith would be healed of the bit of the serpent of evil.

Life of Christ by Fulton Sheen

Georgette Heyer

If ever I was going to be embarrassed by reading a "type" of book, it would be the Regency romances written by Georgette Heyer. They are sold in the romance section and usually feature couples in period clothing on the cover.

However, nothing could be farther from the usual "romance novel" stereotype than these books. The closest analogy I can think of is Jane Austen; specifically Pride and Prejudice. Heyer's books are well researched enough to make you think that she was a contemporary and full of the sort of intelligence and humor that make you laugh out loud. Thinking over her books it is amazing how she consistently covered a wide range of characters and plots that included romance, fashion, upper classes, cross-dressing, arranged marriages, murder, intrigue, cant language, sarcasm, and humor. She also wrote a few mysteries but I never really enjoyed them the way I did the others.

Some of her romances are currently being republished, many can be found in second-hand bookstores, and most libraries have a wide selection as Heyer was amazingly prolific. A few of my favorites are The Grand Sophy, Venetia, Sylvester, or The Wicked Uncle, and The Foundling. If you haven't tried a Georgette Heyer book, pick one up, hide the cover, and prepare for a delightful and clever read.

UPDATE: I can't believe I forgot to mention that the grand finale of these books is usually when the heroine and hero finally ... wait for it ... KISS. Not quite the usual stuff we get given in romance novels these days. Not only intelligence, but respect of the characters.

Proud Parent Alert!

At BL they hand out class rankings partway through the third semester. In a class of 300, Hannah is holding steady for the third year running around number 75. Woohoo! Top 25% seems great to us! These are a lot of very smart kids, many of whom will get scholarships to top schools, if past performance is any indication.

So imagine my total shock and astonishment when Rose announced that she is number 9 out of her class of 288. Number 9? NUMBER 9!!! WOOHOO! This is with taking all honors classes too. It seems she hangs with a bunch of overachievers as one friend is number 5 and another is number 15 ... and so on, and so forth.

This is when I'd love to go around and point out to all those parents who push their kids, still check their homework (yes, in high school!), enroll them in extra study classes ... we have done none of that. If your kid has the potential and wants to use it, they will do it themselves. Both our girls have achieved their good ranks based on their own desire to excel. So lighten up on your kids already! (Though that's something I don't have to tell most regulars around here.)

The Discipline of God

It is part of the discipline of God to make His loved ones perfect through trial and suffering. Only by carrying the Cross can one reach the Resurrection. It was precisely this part of Our Lord's Mission that the devil attacked. The temptations were meant to divert Our Lord from His task of salvation through sacrifice. Instead of the Cross as a means of winning the souls of men, Satan suggested three short cuts to popularity: an economic one, another based on marvels, and a third, which was political. Very few people believe in the devil these days, which suits the devil very well. He is always helping to circulate the news of his own death. The essence of God is existence, and He defines himself as: "I am Who am." The essence of the devil is the lie, and he defines himself as: "I am who am not." Satan has very little trouble with those who do not believe in him; they are already on his side.

Life of Christ by Fulton Sheen

The Divine Disturber

Simeon was practically calling Him the "Divine Disturber," Who would provoke human hearts either to be good or evil. Once confronted with Him, they must subscribe to light or darkness. Before everyone else they can be "broadminded"; but His Presence reveals their hearts to be either fertile ground or hard rock. He cannot come to hearts without clarifying them and dividing them; once in His Presence, a heart discovers both its own thoughts about goodness and its own thoughts about God.

This could never be so if He were just a humanitarian teacher. Simeon knew this well, and He told Our Lord's mother that Her Son must suffer because his life would be so much opposed to the complacent maxims by which most men govern their lives. He would act on one soul in one way, and on another in another way, as the sun shines on wax and softens it, and shines on mud and hardens it. There is no difference in the sun, only in the objects on which it shines. As the Light of the World, He would be a joy to the good and the lovers of light; but He would be like a probing searchlight to those who were evil and preferred to live in darkness. The seed is the same, but the soil is different, and each soil will be judged by the way it reacts to the seed. The will of Christ to save is limited by the free reaction of each soul either to accept or reject. That was what Simeon meant by saying:

The secret thoughts of many will be laid bare. Luke 2:35

... Simeon also said that the Babe would disclose the true inner dispositions of men. He would test the thoughts of all who were to encounter Him. Pilate would temporize and then weaken; Herod would mock; Judas would lean to a kind of greedy social security; Nicodemus would sneak in darkness to find the Light; tax collectors would become honest; prostitutes, pure; rich young men would reject His poverty; prodigals would return home; Peter would repent; an Apostle would hang himself. From that day to this, He continues to be a sign to be contradicted. It was fitting, therefore, that He should die on a piece of wood in which one bar contradicted the other. The vertical bar of God's will is negated by the horizontal bar of the contradicting human will. As the Circumcision pointed to the shedding of blood, so the Purification foretold His Crucifixion.

Life of Christ by Fulton Sheen

Quick Reviews

BARBERSHOP 2
Not quite as good as the first but not bad at all. This time around a big developer is taking all the individuality out of Calvin's neighborhood by buying all the little businesses and putting in franchises, specifically a "Nappy Cutz" (loved that name ... the perfect franchise idea) right across the street from the barbershop. I found Queen Latifah's beauty shop next door rather distracting and could have done without that part. I did like showing Eddie's back story set in the 60's when he first came to work for Calvin's father. Glimpses of black history were the contrast that gave meaning to the modern-day struggles. If you liked the first movie this one is definitely worth renting.

DANNY DECKCHAIR
This is a charming Australian comedy about Danny, a cement worker, who lives for his annual vacation ... two weeks of camping. When his girlfriend cancels the vacation, Danny experiments by tying helium balloons onto his deckchair and then floats away into the sky. We then see Danny's new life in the small town where he lands and his girlfriend's total enjoyment of the media circus that springs up over the notoriety of the escapade. It is a low-key and charming movie, perfect for the end of a hard week.

ONMYOJI
Hannah rented this and we had no idea what sort of a movie it was. Believe me when I tell you that after watching half this movie, we still weren't quite sure. In fact, I was stunned on looking at Amazon this morning to see that this was Japan's top grossing movie in 2001. Shoddy special effects and pretty bad acting were two main reasons. To be fair, we suspected that there was a fair amount of cultural information we were lacking in order to "get" what was going on. Unless you are fairly in tune with Japanese culture and movies, I'd stay away ... far, far away ... from this movie.

This Good Catholic Boy ...

Benji Madden, Good Charlotte

... wrote this song ...

"Wondering"

If you want me to wait
I would wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering

Since I was a young man
I never was a fun man
I never had a plan and no security
Then ever since I met you
I never could forget you
I only wanna get you right here next to me

[chorus]
Cause everybody (a-whoa-oh-oh)
Needs someone that they can trust and
You're somebody (a-whoa-oh-oh)
That I found just in time
If you want me to wait
I would wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering


Now my life is changing
It's always rearranging
It's always getting stranger than I thought it ever could
Ever since I found you
I wanna be around you
I want to get down to the point that I need you

[chorus]

Don't tell me
The bad news
Don't tell me anything at all
Just tell me
That you need me
And stay right here with me

[chorus]

... about his dog. Awwww. Read the chorus again ... I think those are his dog's words there. Double awwwwwww.

Why do I say he's a "good Catholic boy?" Well, I'm not positive but here's his twin brother with his tatoos of the Virgin Mary on one arm and the sacred heart of Jesus on the other. So, just guessing here...

Joel Madden, Good Charlotte

Thanks to my "beat reporter", Rose, for this one, presented as supporting evidence when revising her "Mom mix" playlist ... just keeping me current, ya know! (And if you like these pictures you ought to get an eyeful of the posters on her wall!)

Just One More Angel Story

Many saints and holy people enjoyed friendship with their Guardian Angel, whose intercession they frequently besought. Blessed Josemaria Escriva [now Saint Escriva] had a special devotion to the Guardian Angels ... Blessed Josemaria dealt with his own Guardian Angel and customarily greeted the angel of the person to whom he was speaking. He called him "a great accomplice" in the apostolate, and asked him for material favours too. During one particular period he called his constant companion my watchkeeper, because he had entrusted him with getting his watch going when it stopped, since he didn't have enough money to have it repaired. He set aside Tuesday as a day on which to put more effort into communicating with his Guardian Angel.

Once during a time of intense anticlerical persecution in Madrid a would-be aggressor stood menacingly in Josemaria's path with the obvious intention of doing him harm. Someone suddenly stood between them and drove off the assailant. It all happened in an instant. The protector came up after the incident and whispered to him: "mangy donkey, Mangy donkey," the expression Blessed Josemaria used to refer to himself in the intimacy of his soul. Only his confessor knew about this. Peace and joy filled his heart as he recognized the intervention of his Angel.

In Conversation With God : Feast Days July - December

My "met my Guardian Angel" story is by no means as definitive as St. Escriva's. However, I do not know who else it could have been. This happened about 2 years ago. I was pulling up to a red light at a big intersection on my regular way to work. I was in the middle lane of the five lanes on that side of the street, the second car back. As I was slowing down, I noticed a homeless man on the median leaning nonchalantly with his back against a streetlight post. This is a place where a lot of homeless people begged. I was used to handing out granola bars practically every time through there. What made me notice this man though was that as I glanced at him, he was making specific eye contact with me, with an expression on his face of ... it is hard to describe ... quizzical, humorous, and, above all, familiar. It was as if he already knew me and was giving me this look to get my attention. As I stopped, he stopped looking at me and then looked unconcernedly straight ahead down the road behind me, not at any other cars or people. He was ignoring all of them. I really don't remember much about how he looked, except he was not old, his beard and hair were the exact same shade of golden brown as his clothes.

I sat there for a minute. I was out of granola bars. I was ignoring him too as I don't give money. Then I couldn't stand it. I kept thinking of St. John Vianney's injunction to give to the poor and, then, there had been that look. So I grabbed my purse and started opening it as I put the window down. He was already almost at my car ... now how he did that when I had just decided to give ... anyway, I gave him a few dollars. I didn't even look at his face. He said, "Thanks" and I said, "You're welcome."

Then he headed toward the rear of my car. I thought, "Oh, he's going to that gas station on the corner to buy food. He really was hungry." I looked in my rear view mirror. There were no cars behind me, although there were cars around me on all sides and a car in front of me. The man was gone. Well, he must be in the gas station parking lot. No. Or at an angle where I couldn't see him behind my car. No. He was gone. Vanished, you might say.

So I don't know who it was. But I will never forget that look. And I don't know why, if that was an angelic presence, he would have wanted those few dollars. Although that experience solidified my feelings about giving to the poor and it happened just a couple of days before a big debate I was part of in a women's group (which is briefly chronicled here).

So now I am done with angel stories, perhaps mercifully. I have heard a lot about others' stories so I'm passing the torch ... who will catch it?

Lectio Divina

This scoop is from my best friend Joan who went on a retreat this week that focused on Lectio Divina.

Step 1: "Statio"
Find your "sacred space" to read where it is quiet and at a regular time.

Step 2: "Lectio"
Invite the Holy Spirit in and read only "4 fingers worth" of Scripture very slowly.

Step 3: "Meditatio"
repeat a word or phrase which speaks to you (from the above Scripture) over and over, very gently and slowly. Let the word / phrase enter into you. Do this until you tire from it.

Step 4: "Oratio"
Begin a dialogue with God

A. Prayer of Repentance

B. Prayer of Intercession for others

C. Prayers of Thanksgiving

D. Prayers of Praise to God

E. Prayers of Self Surrender

Step 5: "Contemplatio"
This is God's Step when He takes over and you don't realize what is happening to you and lose track of the time. This is the final "letting go" which removes the last veil of the self.

More Angel Talk

After saying yesterday that I didn't want to read any cutesy "I met my angel" books, I now am going to tell a little story ... no, not about how I met my angel. That comes later. Ha! This is about my awareness of my angel.

I always have this sense that my angel is standing next to me with his hand on my right shoulder. I only notice this when I think about my guardian angel but don't know if it's "all in my head" or not. Although there was one time when my angel was gone. It was during last year's Holy Thursday evening Mass. It's complicated and I won't go into the story here but I knew Hannah was distraught, by herself, and that was not a good thing at that point. I was very upset at this and told my guardian angel to go look after her. I didn't think about that again (I was at Mass after all) until a few minutes later when I suddenly thought about that "order" and realized that I felt all alone. No "hand on the shoulder" presence around at all. This was very strange ... and maybe all in my head? I kept mentally "testing" ... is he back? No. Is he here? No. About 20 minutes later, I was not alone any more. So was I grateful? Heck no! I mentally ordered him back to watch over Hannah ... and got this feeling of "she didn't need me anymore." Naturally, when I checked with Hannah later that was about the time that Tom showed up and she was fine.

So enough about me, here is what few people much smarter than I say about guardian angels. These quotes are all from In Conversation with God: Lent and Eastertide.

... all the guardian angels will gather together at the universal judgment in order to bear witness themselves to the ministry that they exercised through God's command for the salvation of each man.

St. John Chrysostom, Catena Aurea

Just as fathers, when their sons have to travel among bad and dangerous roads, make sure they are accompanied by people who can guard them and defend them from danger, so in the same way does our heavenly Father, as we set out along this path that leads to our heavenly home. He gives each one of us an angel. He does this so that, strengthened by his power and help, we may be freed from the snares cunningly set by our enemies, and may repel the terrible assaults that they make on us. He wants us to walk straight along the path with such guides, so that no obstacle placed in our way by the enemy should turn us aside from the way that leads to heaven.

Catechism of the Council of Trent

The saints intercede for men. The guardian angels not only pray for men, but they carry out duties towards them. If intercession takes place through the blessed in Heaven, through the guardian angels there is both intercession and direct intervention; they are at the same time advocates for men before God and ministers of God before men.

G. Huber, My Angel Will Go Before You

Have confidence in your guardian angel. Treat him as a lifelong friend -- that is what he is -- and he will render you a thousand services in the ordinary affairs of each day.

Saint Escriva, The Way

We must learn to speak to the angels. Turn to them now; tell your guardian angel that these spiritual waters of Lent will not flow off your soul but will go deep, because your are sorry. Ask them to take up to the Lord your good will, which, by the grace of God, has grown out of your wretchedness like a lily grown on a dunghill.

Saint Escriva, Christ is passing by

Let's Talk Angels

I usually have some "mind's eye" angel thinking going on. During Mass I think about the fact that there are double the visible inhabitants, because we each have our guardian angel with us. I read somewhere that angels are always worshiping when the Host is consecrated ... I always have that mind's-eye vision of them prostrating themselves at that point. St. Josemaria Escriva always mentally greeted the guardian angel of the person and sometimes I do the same. It's a big deal to some to know their guardian angel's name. Although I now have enough of a sense of my angel not to care, I believe that his name popped into my head when my sponsor was telling me about her attempts to find out her angel's name. More important to me is to be sure to ask my guardian angel for guidance during the day ... according to St. Escriva, the more you "talk" to your angel, the more sensitive you are to any guidance.

I was fascinated by the entire concept of angels when I converted but wanted the real scoop ... not one of those cutesy "I met my angel" books that were popular at that time (2000). Wouldn't you know, Peter Kreeft (is there anything that guy can't write about?) has a wonderful book, Angels and Demons: What Do We Really Know About Them? Here is the quickest possible Angels 101 course from the first page of the book ...

O.K., so I'm browsing through this book and wondering: why should I buy it? What can you tell me about angels in one page?

1. They really exist. Not just in our minds, or our myths, or our symbols, or our culture. They are as real as your dog, or your sister, or electricity.


2. They're present, right here, right now, right next to you, reading these words with you.


3. They're not cute, cuddly, comfortable, chummy, or "cool." They are fearsome and formidable. They are huge. They are warriors.


4. They are the real "extra-terrestrials," the real "Supermen," the ultimate aliens. Their powers are far beyond those of all fictional creatures.


5. They are more brilliant minds than Einstein.


6. They can literally move the heavens and the earth if God permits them.


7. There are also evil angels, fallen angels, demons, or devils. These too are not myths. Demon possessions, and exorcisms, are real.


8. Angels are aware of you, even though your can't usually see or hear them. But you can communicate with them. You can talk to them without even speaking.


9. You really do have your very own "guardian angel." Everybody does.


10. Angels often come disguised. "Do not neglect hospitality, for some have entertained angels unawares" -- that's a warning from life's oldest and best instruction manual.


11. We are on a protected part of a great battlefield between angels and devils, extending to eternity.


12. Angels are sentinels standing at the crossroads where life meets death. They work especially at moments of crisis, at the brink of disaster -- for bodies, for souls, and for nations.

Stooping to Heaven

Of every other child that is born into the world, friends can say that it resembles his mother. This was the first instance in time that anyone could say that the mother resembled the Child. This is the beautiful paradox of the Child Who made His mother; the mother, too was only a child. It was also the first time in the history of this world that anyone could ever think of heaven as being anywhere else than "somewhere up there"; when the Child was in her arms, Mary now looked down to Heaven ...

... Because He was born in a cave, all who wish to see Him must stoop. To stoop is the mark of humility. The proud refuse to stoop and, therefore, they miss Divinity. Those, however, who bend their egos and enter, find that they are not in a cave at all, but in a new universe where sits a Babe on His mother's lap, with the world poised on His fingers ...

Only two classes of people found the Babe; the shepherds and the Wise Men; the simple and the learned; those who knew that they knew nothing, and those who knew that they did not know everything. He is never seen by the man of one book; never by the man who thinks he knows. Not even God can tell the proud anything! Only the humble can find God.

Life of Christ by Fulton J. Sheen

Spontaneity

I once read that the reason for the saying, "Scaredy cat" is that cats have to think things over before they act. When something startling happens they run to a safe place to think things over. I knew exactly how they felt. Not that I run away ... but I like to have things planned, organized, all figured out ... then something throws everything off and I have to have a moment (or several) to settle myself to this new reality before acting. So, I am definitely not spontaneous.

I am much better about it than I used to be. Having children and then teenagers imbues a certain amount of flexibility just for the sake of survival. However, the kids have been warned from time to time about my "cat-like" qualities. They know how to spring things on me ... or that if I am not reacting well, just to come back in about 5 or 10 minutes and I will be all calmed down.

After reading that, it wouldn't surprise you to know that I am always ahead of the blog (so to speak) on material. I have a bunch of saved posts, meditations, jokes, etc. When I come across them, they get tucked away into a safe corner for the right moment.

Last week, I suddenly started to get the feeling that I should be more spontaneous about all this ... the blogging. Ok. I can do that. Until Saturday morning when I had copied the selected Weekend Meditation out of the file. I went back for the joke and ... "What do you mean AN ENGINEER WILL CHECK ON THIS PROBLEM?" The file was gone ... all the quotes, all the meditations, all the jokes ... and me with 12 minutes left before my Lent timer went off. Aaaaargh!

It crossed my mind ... so am I being forced into spontaneity? Just as I thought that, an email came from Tom's dear Aunt CB. Lo and behold, a hilarious joke about a blonde on an airplane. Ok, message received. I can't abandon planning entirely. Those Bible studies take time. However, more "off the cuff" activity is gonna be at this URL.

After Yesterday's Thoughts on Temptation ...

... I came across this in The Word Among Us.

God wants to transform our lives, but it doesn't happen on its own. It's miraculous, not magical. Transformation comes as we take our small human efforts and mix them with faith in God's mighty power.

A good reminder for me as I am shocking myself with how easy it is to give in bit by bit, sliding into temptation. No wonder Lent calls us back to God; I am surely being shown how much help I need. But I must make my best effort as well as remembering to call on Him for help.

Temptation

I just love the fact that the Church knows so well what we are facing after the first few days of Lent ... temptation to give up our penance, to slide just a little. So the readings were about Adam and Eve giving in to temptation, and then Jesus resisting all the devil's blandishments in the desert. Today's meditation from In Conversation with God has some great insights about that very subject ... so I thought I'd drop them here for you. My special favorite is the first quote from Ronald Knox that makes me think of the devil as a very successful used car salesman ... which would be funny if it were not that I am so often gullible that I fall for his wiles.

The temptations of Our Lord are also the temptations of his servants individually. But the scale of them, naturally, is different; the devil is not going to offer you and me all the kingdoms of the world. He knows his market; offers, like a good salesman, just as much as he thinks his customer will take. I suppose he thinks, with some justice, that most of us could be had for five thousand a year, and a great many of us for much less. Nor does he, to us, propose his conditions so openly; his offer comes to us wrapped up in all sorts of plausible shapes. But, if he sees the chance he is not slow to point out to you and to me how we could get the thing we want if we would be untrue to our better selves, and not infrequently if we would be untrue to our Catholic loyalties.

Ronald Knox, Pastoral Sermons

He allows temptation, and uses it providentially to purify you, to make you holy, to detach you from the things of the earth, to lead you where He is and by the route he wants you to take, so as to make you happy I (in a life which may not be comfortable); so as to give you maturity, understanding and effectiveness in your apostolic work with souls, and ... above all, to make you humble, very humble.

S. Canals, Jesus as Friend

But do not forget, my friend, that you need weapons in this spiritual battle And your weapons have to be these: continuous prayer; sincerity and frankness with your spiritual director; the Holy Eucharist and the Sacrament of Penance; a generous spirit of Christian mortification which will bring you to flee from the occasion of sin and to avoid idleness; humility of heart and a tender and filial devotion to Our Lady, Comforter of the Afflicted and Refuge of Sinners.

S. Canals, Jesus as Friend

Our Next Vacation "Theme"

Montreal last summer turned out, quite unexpectedly, to have a Catholic basilica/cathedral/church theme as we visited at least one per day.

This summer my family will be having our first-ever reunion as my brother is now back in this country. We'll be gathering in Kansas City (Mo.) which is near where we spent most of our formative years. Actually, we grew up outside of Bonner Springs, but, believe me, KC is the much more entertaining choice and where we escaped to whenever possible.

I had forgotten until my sister mentioned it yesterday, that the Truman Presidential Library is near there. That perked up Tom's ears as he read a masterful book about Truman. My sister and I went on to reminisce about the time our grandparents took us to the Eisenhower Library in Abilene, KS. Truth to tell, the Truman Library just didn't have what it took to impress us after seeing the Eisenhower Library which also has all the WWII memorabilia. 'Nuff said. Tom is a huge Eisenhower fan and Abilene isn't that far out of our way on the way home. Plans have been made, itineraries made, routes mapped.

It looks as if this summer will be our "Presidential Library" theme vacation.

Sundays in Lent

This is something that I wondered about as a new Catholic. Do Sundays "count" during Lent? Do you get a day off from what you've "given up" or do you keep on going? Everyone had a different answer. Then Father Hamilton's mother came to him with the same question and Catholic Ragemonkeys wrote this article. Short answer, it's up to you ... but to know why, read the article.

Oh, My Humanity!

It's one thing to have lofty and wonderful thoughts about Lent. Then comes the reality of Ash Wednesday morning with the child who, "Oh, by the way..." is going to spend the night with a friend tonight and then "Did I mention...?" needs money, hasn't planned for being gone, etc. Add on my poor stressed husband with too much work he is valiantly trying to handle, volunteer work where no one is giving him any info to go from, and his mother whose rapidly failing memory is requiring immediate attention from all the sons. Let's stir in a BIG pile of work for me and that need/desire to catch up on everything (that choleric personality surfacing?).

Oh, the snappish-ness of my morning. All of which was withheld from public comment, although somewhat imperfectly. They know me too well and I didn't cover very well ... until I remembered what I had read this morning. (Did I remember to bring it to work so I could quote it? pffft! Of course not! I grabbed the wrong book.) Basically it said that anytime that we are irritated, angry, upset, want to strike out ... then the fault is not in others. The fault is in us because we are not close to Christ in that moment.

That really set me back on my heels. Not close to Christ. Well, that's what going into the desert is all about, isn't it? Oh, thanks so much, God, for plunging me in ASAP, making me actively seek Christ, making me think about it because of my tetchy mood. That would be the prayer that gets instantly answered. (His sense of humor again ... He cracks me up. And then I just have to laugh at myself.)

As We Gather Ourselves Together

Looking around St. Blog's you get the sense that something big is happening. For the last week or two a blogger here and a blogger there have been mentioning Lent, examining themselves for faults to amend or appropriate sacrifices to make, preparing themselves for the desert. It is almost upon us, this time of penance and sacrifice, and the posts are coming from all sides now. Where have I failed? What am I lacking? How can I prepare myself to please God, to meet Him in that spare, spartan ground of the Lenten desert? No one is bemoaning the need. No one is talking about that last splurge of Mardi Gras. We are past that. It is almost insignificant. Our heads are far beyond that ... we are preparing to go together, though separately, to meet God in the place where he met Abraham, Moses, Jesus ... the desert. I feel as if I am watching the scene from The Ten Commandments where the children of Israel are all gathering together with goats, sheep, children, carts to follow Moses out of Egypt. They went to seek their freedom and we go to seek ours. I love that feeling of togetherness, camaraderie, as everyone writes about preparing for Lent. This is a part of the body of Christ I have not been privileged to see before. Though I go separately to struggle with my self discipline, denial, and prayer, I am not alone. We will travel together like a flock of birds wheeling through the sky, twittering to each other ... in the desert.