Celebratory Gratuitous Funny List

From my in-box. Thanks, Alex!

Things to do at Wal-Mart while
your friend or parent is taking their sweet time

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
3. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
4. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
5. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
6. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
7. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
8. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
9. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
10. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"