Thursday, April 24, 2008

Superhero Highlight: The Scrabbler

I love all of these stories but anything that includes the words: "...keeping them preoccupied with her own brand of justice, one that would have made William F. Buckley cry like a little girl" sends it whooshing to the top of my list.

Continuing the stories of superheroes devised by Hannah and Jenny (more about that can be found here as well as the first description)

The Scrabbler

Power: Can make really good words out of leftover Scrabble tiles

Back-story: As a child, The Scrabbler was grossly mistreated at the hands of her evil stepmother, Stella Stairbottom. As the queen of their village, Stella Stairbottom feared that The Scrabbler would one day usurp her power and steal the throne. In order to prevent this, Stella Stairbottom employed the only logical solution: she locked away her not-evil stepdaughter in a tower, with the sparse provisions of Scrabble and a set of dictionaries, and sometimes food. Unbeknownst to the evil stepmother, but knownst to us, The Scrabbler had a fairy godmother. She wasn’t a very good fairy godmother, but she wanted to help The Scrabbler. So after seeing The Scrabbler’s prowess on that rickety old Scrabble board, the fairy godmother bestowed upon her a set of magical Scrabble tiles with the power to draw anyone into a game of Scrabble by entrancing them with their beauty. Unfortunately for her evil stepmother, but fortunately for The Scrabbler, Stella Stairbottom used REALLY old locks, and after eighteen years they fell apart, freeing The Scrabbler. Unsure what to do with her newfound freedom, The Scrabbler decided to use her powers to ensure that no one like Stella Stairbottom ever terrorized the populace again. She spent her days luring criminals into Scrabble games until the local police forces arrived to serve them justice, keeping them preoccupied with her own brand of justice, one that would have made William F. Buckley cry like a little girl.

Cover: Mild-mannered English teacher (and a gorgeous English teacher at that)

Cover name: Ingram Inglebaum

Partners: The Lincolnator, Halfsies

Introduction to partner: Fighting crime is expensive work, so in order to make some cash, (some easy cash, might I add) The Scrabbler would sometimes place a wager on a Scrabble game. In one such instance, The Scrabbler happened to be playing The Lincolnator, who, although a formidable contender in the world of crime-fighting, was no match for The Scrabbler’s skills on the Scrabbler board. As is customary when betting, the Lincolnator began to hand over the agreed-upon sum: a crisp new Hamilton. But the moment the ten-dollar bill touched The Scrabbler’s HAND, a thousand pennies exploded into the air (but didn’t hurt anyone). Upon realizing each other’s awesome power, The Scrabbler and The Lincolnator joined forces, to become a powerful crime-fighting pair, serving justice to the city’s most evil jerkfaces.

Archnemesis: The winner of the national spelling bee, she’s just so darn good at vocabulary
Next superhero feature coming: The Candy Man.

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