Monday, March 7, 2011

When No Fault Divorce Leads to Spousal Abandonment

Imagine your brother Jim discovers that his wife of 17 years, mother to their four children, is leaving him for another man. He pleads with her to stay. He asks that they get counseling to heal their marriage. He calls every priest he knows, along with family and friends, to try to get the help he needs to keep his family together. But your brother’s efforts are in vain.

Jim learns that his wife has retained a lawyer, and is suing him for a divorce. His mind races back to the day he made his vows before God and the community of believers.

“I don’t want a divorce,” he cries out in despair. “And I will never sign a paper stating that my marriage is over.”

Over the next few weeks, Jim’s wife keeps asserting that she has left because their marriage has been “hell.” She says he is the only thing standing in the way of her happiness.


What we may not know is that most divorces are situations in which one person wants to end the marriage while the other is fighting to save it.
I only wish I didn't know of actual families who this has happened to but I do. Read the entire article at CNA. I especially like the practical suggestions at the end as to how people can stand in solidarity with abandoned families. (Please note that the author is not speaking of those cases where there has been abuse, etc.)
The example given in the article about speaking in charity but with clarity resounds to me especially since Hannah did that very thing this weekend to a friend who is planning on moving in with his girlfriend. She did so by saying to him, "That's a terrible idea."  He wasn't offended and said, "You're the first person who's had the guts to tell me that you thought this was a bad idea." He isn't changing his plans but at least that seed has been planted.

1 comment:

  1. Good work, Hannah, and praise the Lord. God bless you!