Weekend Joke: Sherlock Holmes

Thanks again to Seth for this one!

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went camping in the forest. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they went to sleep in the tent.

Several hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend, Watson.

"Look at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson answered: "I see millions and millions of stars."

"And what does that tell you?"

Watson thought a minute and answered: "Astronomically, that tells me that there are potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I see that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, I deduce that it is approximately three ten AM. Theologically, I see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically I suspect that we shall have a beautiful day tomorrow."

Holmes was quiet for a minute and then said: "Watson, you are an idiot. Someone stole our tent."

Who Else is Watching "Awake"?

I haven't seen the most recent episode but just finished up watching the second one recently.

How do I say this with no spoilers?

The moment at the end ... with the motorcycle ... was so wonderful.

But the moment after that, in the park on the bench, almost spoiled the whole thing for me. I thought, "Oh no, really? Do we need this? I know it's a thing right now, but this story already has so much in it that we don't need that too."

Did anyone else feel that way?

Spoilers allowed in the comments box ... so we can talk!

Let's Talk Chicken ...

... Palaver Chicken, that is. Over at Meanwhile, Back in the Kitchen.

John Allen Makes Me Laugh

Not most of the time.

But did you see this?

One month from today, Benedict XVI will turn 85. He's now the oldest pope in the last 109 years, since Leo XIII died in 1903 at 93, and will shortly become one of only six popes in the last 500 years to reign past the age of 85. That list includes three pontiffs (Pius IX, Innocent XII and Clement X) who died within a year of turning 85, so if Benedict's basic stability holds up, he'll surpass them in 2013.

As the saying goes, German machinery is built to last!

I heard that!

You laughed too!

Worth a Thousand Words: La Patisserie Gloppe

La Pâtisserie Gloppe aux Champs-Élysées, Jean Béraud (January 12, 1849 – October 4, 1935) 

via French Painters

What good is a Catholic presence in the land if it isn't Catholic?

In reading Joanne McPortland's honest, angry open letter to President Obama, one part stayed with me.

You have managed this really well from your end, manufacturing a "war on women"--Catholics want women to be pregnant or die!--while waging war on the First Amendment. I sometimes wish the Catholic bishops hadn't jumped at the bait, too (because I truly don't think this is the hill we want to die on)...

"Jumped at the bait" puzzled me because I truly couldn't see what other choice Catholics, including their bishops, had at this point.

As Tom said when I asked him about this, "If not now, then when?"

The only other choice was to let it lie which is unacceptable from a purely American point of view because religious liberty is so bred into our national identity. Not to mention defending our faith as Catholics.

If the Bishops, our fathers in the Church, had not let so many small fights go by with little more than a disapproving glance, then we would not be in the position of having to defend our faith in this way. We wouldn't have to defend it not only to the government but to our fellow Catholics. However, none of us is perfect and nothing is as simple as fingerpointing, especially at those in charge. I do not say this in anger, but just as one looking back on the road that got us to this point. Honestly, I am simply happy that they are standing up in unison.

I think that this is a hill that we must take a stand on, and not simply as Americans, but as Catholics one to another. After I entered the Church, I found I had to do great internal struggling to come to terms with many of the Church's teachings about how to live out the ten commandments and Jesus' two great commandments.

It's trendy to call them "life issues" and "social justice issues," but let's say what we mean. It is about the ten commandments, Jesus Christ, and getting to heaven. If that is in the center of our lives then the fruit will be enough to make "life issues" and "social justice issues" fade because we will be loving our neighbors as ourselves. Old, young, poor, rich, unborn, homeless ... everyone.

Here's one of the big realizations that I had during that process: you can't be really Catholic and be a card-carrying Democrat or Republican. There is no political party on earth that truly lives God's laws.

To say anything else is to fool yourself. It is to be blinded by our own desires and to put the golden calf of politics and controlling things "our way" ahead of the commandments and Jesus Christ.

It is to define, explain away, and excuse ourselves until we are a shadow of what we should be, which is authentically Catholic.

Do we believe the Catholic Church is the bride of Christ? Do we believe that her mission is to get each one of us ... you and me ... to heaven?

Then why aren't we listening? Why aren't we pulling out our Catechisms to examine the places where we oppose Her teachings. Why aren't we delving deep into the "why" of what the Catechism contains and holding our own "golden calves" up to see what needs to go in order to bring us closer to God?

I am not perfect, believe me. Plenty of my family and friends can testify to that. But I do keep getting up and trying again. And God keeps pointing out where I thought I was right but I had it all wrong.

My goal?

I want to be Catholic ... without any adjectives. Just plain Catholic is enough.

I am not a liberal Catholic, orthodox Catholic, conservative Catholic, cafeteria Catholic, or traditionalist Catholic: I am, simply, a Catholic (Roman Rite). That should be enough for you to know where I stand and what I believe about most issues. At least, it used to be.

Thomas L. McDonald

I can tell from Joanne McPortland's blog that she has done the same struggling. She and I may vary in how we try to apply the Church's teachings to ordering our lives or our voting or where we choose to volunteer, but we are not apart at the center. I know that she is honestly trying to do God's will with all her heart and mind and strength. By changing her long-held beliefs, even when it hurt.

She's had to move from her comfort zone to a place where both sides feel self righteous about attacking. Welcome, sister! Here I am too, although I think that I had to come from the other side of the road to meet you here.

In this particular case, on this particular hill, I think we have no choice but to take a stand and politely but firmly explain the truth. My prayer is that hearts and minds are opened, especially those of Catholics who dissent from Church teachings about contraception and abortion.

No Wonder I Never Feel Lonely - The Staggering Growth of the Church in Texas

A quick look at the stats lays out the backdrop: since the last ad limina, Catholics -- their presence increased nearly 60 percent since 1990 -- have eclipsed Evangelicals to become the state's largest religious group. In a matter of years, three of its dioceses have erupted to comprise more than a million members, each reflecting five-or-sixfold expansions over the last three decades. On a 25 percent growth in general population since 2000, the Dallas-Fort Worth "metroplex" is now home to nearly 2 million of the faithful in what's just become the nation's fourth-largest metropolitan area. Along the border, a majority of Brownsville's 1.1 million Catholics are younger than 25; out East, rural Tyler's taken to ordaining more priests than New York, and in the capital, Austin's church of half a million -- projected to double within a decade -- is perhaps the Stateside church's most energetic outpost, boasting the nation's most celebrated Catholic campus ministry, to boot.

On the institutional front, the seminaries are expanding, freshly-built "mega-churches" are teeming, and local RCIA classes routinely set national benchmarks. By and large, the model of church is a decidedly post-Conciliar, 21st century one, blending Africans, Anglos, Asians and Latinos -- each mostly migrants of some sort -- into cohesive, vibrant communities. In a first, Rome's designated headquarters for a significant cross-country project lies not along the Northeast corridor, but in Houston, where the dedication of a new cathedral (above) since the last visit shut Downtown streets as an army priests processed toward it four across. Each named auxiliaries in their early forties, the last decade has seen four homegrown priests succeed each other as the nation's youngest bishop. And of course, in the ultimate reflection of "the dynamic growth of Catholicism in the southern part of the United States, and especially in" this second-largest of them, for the first time its group crosses the "threshold of the Apostles" led by a figure in scarlet, one told by Benedict on his elevation that "Texas needs a cardinal."

Whispers in the Loggia has the whole story including all the links that go with the text above so that you know just what he's talking about. Via The Deacon's Bench, who always has the latest news.

Its Baaaaak - Community

For everyone like me, who's been missing it.

Poster is from Six seasons and a movie, via Scott, another Community fan.

No Man Should Fear the Rieper*: Reviewing "Sons of Cain" by Val Bianco

Sons of Cain by Val Bianco

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

You're either going to love this thriller or hate it. It has a definite Catholic orientation (which is a turn-on for me, let's get that straight right now) and definitely hews to the conservative side of the political spectrum. So there's that.

Here's the book description:

An ancient group of twelve unspeakably powerful men are prepared to implement mass suicide in the United States. Already in control of the Congress and the Presidency, all that they lack is the Supreme Court. The only thing standing between these SONS OF CAIN and the lives of the Court is a small group of dedicated warriors. Wealthy ex SEAL, Nick Rieper, and his dozen, Knights of Longinus, may be the most deadly strike force alive. The have pledged their lives, their fortunes and their honor to battle international Satanism. Battle is joined as they engage the Cainites and their demon leader, Namon, in mortal combat. They stand alone as the only force alive with the knowledge, the skill and the faith to prevent a crime that will change America... forever.

Nick Rieper and his merry band of knights (don't laugh, these guys live as close to the knightly ideal as possible) must stop not only the humans trying to wreak havoc upon the U.S. government, but also deal with their demonic leader. This is slightly complicated by the fact that they must also protect those they care about, including a gorgeous journalist who is just beginning to live a life of faith and a priest who has a checkered past to say the least.

This is told in straight forward fashion with no frills, except for some explanatory sections which were a bit too long and drawn out for my taste. That aside, the book heads straight for an adventure steeped in good versus evil, with angels and demons doing their fair share on the appropriate side.

If you aren't Catholic then my guess is that you may not like the book because the good guys are steeped in it, can't shut up about it, don't mind stopping to press rosary beads into a dying woman's hand, and are quick to gather in prayer for someone in danger before it's time to race to the rescue. Did I mention they talk about it? A lot? Now, as I said before, that's a turn on for me, but your milage may vary. As for the rest, you'll have to read it. All I'm gonna say is we now have the ultimate conspiracy presented about what's been keeping America down in recent years.

On a personal note, it was a good reminder of the implacable hatred that demons bear to mankind. The book's opening which tells of Pope Leo's vision that led him to write the St. Michael prayer was extremely powerful, setting the tone for the story but also acting as a wake up for the reader. Evil does exist and we do well to remember it. It is easy to forget that face when in the daily routine. This book highlighted it for me in a powerful way.

The author provided my review copy but as several authors know, to their sorrow, if I don't like it then it don't matter who gave it to me. And vice versa.

(*My post title? An inside joke for those who have read the book.)

It's March and "Card Carrying Democrat" Joanne McPortland is Mad at the President

I’m a card carrying Democrat, the daughter of a union shop steward, New Deal and Civil Rights and Camelot all the way. In 2008 I let my son’s enthusiasm for you and all you represented woo me away from my lukewarm support of Hillary Clinton, even though I thought even then there was something too-good-to-be-true about the way you absorbed all our war-weary, Bush-burdened projections. I put a HOPE decal in my car window right next to my Go, Flyers! decal. I cheered my heart out at your win, which I truly believed was the start of better days for all Americans. (And for my fellow Catholics who want to read this paragraph as evidence for excommunication, that’s for another combox, OK?)

Since then, though, you’ve disappointed me, Mr President. Even before I returned to the Catholic faith I grew up in, and began to reexamine everything in the light of that faith’s teachings, you showed absolutely no sign of being the bridge-builder you rightly said America needed in that fabulous 2004 convention speech. In your relationships with Congress, even when you had a majority, you talked compromise and did none of it. You ramped up the war efforts you had said were stupid. You kept Guantanamo open, and gave the nod to torture. You approved a return to the US-as-assassin model of dealing with dictators you don’t like, while allowing those who serve your interest to continue slaughtering innocents. You added even more restrictions on Americans’ constitutional freedoms than the original Patriot Act dreamed of. And you wouldn’t fight to keep a single-payer health plan on the table, settling instead for a bloated patchwork doomed to displease everyone, just so you could say you passed a health care act.

But it’s been your administration’s recent cynical manipulation of “the contraceptive issue”–an agenda mandated by your supporters in Big Pharma and Planned Parenthood, and planted in the midst of the debates in order to make the religious right (which now includes extremist Catholics like Rick Santorum and Catholics-by-marriage like Newt Gingrich) snap at the bait. You have managed this really well from your end, manufacturing a “war on women”–Catholics want women to be pregnant or die!–while waging war on the First Amendment. I sometimes wish the Catholic bishops hadn’t jumped at the bait, too (because I truly don’t think this is the hill we want to die on), but you knew they would, and knew that Catholics are already hated enough (for our own sins, in too many cases) in this country to make dissing us equal an automatic double-digit bump in your popularity stats. That’s my biggest disappointment–that you’re nothing but a Chicago pol after all.

Joanne McPortland lays it on the line with President Obama, since he's in town (Dayton) and all. I salute Ms. McPortland for her honesty. I have to say, contraception mandates aside, she brings up some things that I've been wondering myself. Guantanamo, ramped up war efforts, dictator deals, and additional Patriot Act restrictions have had me asking the television more than once, "What happened to all of Obama's promises? I thought he was supposed to go in the opposite direction of the Republicans?"

Now, I didn't vote for him so it isn't as if I felt betrayed. But these were all the things that my Democrat friends rail against and here was their "Change!" guy staying the course or hitting the gas, depending on the issues. Color me confused.

Not to mention the HHS mandate debacle.

Anyway, it was refreshing to see someone who was on his side ask those questions. Even if he finally had driven her away by the time March madness hit.

Via The Deacon's Bench.

Well Said: Friendship Plays the Potter

From my quote journal.

So there they go, Jim running slower to stay with Will, Will running faster to stay with Jim, Jim breaking two windows in a haunted house because Will's along, Will breaking one window instead of none because Jim's watching. God, how we get our fingers in each other's clay. That's friendship, each playing the potter to see what shapes we can make of the other.

Ray Bradbury, Something Wicked This Way Comes

Worth a Thousand Words: Window Light

Window Light

by Duane Keiser

Book Review: Jerusalem: A Biography by Simon Sebag Montefiore

A guest review by Scott Danielson. After I received the review book and realized it was not my sort of book, he filled the gap as someone who could appreciate and evaluate the book for me. Many thanks, Scott!

Prophets and patriarchs, Abraham, David, Jesus and Muhammad are said to have trodden these stones. The Abrahamic religions were born there and the world will also end there on the Day of Judgement. Jerusalem, sacred to the Peoples of the Book, is the city of the Book: the Bible is, in many ways, Jerusalem’s own chronicle and its readers, from the Jews and early Christians via the Muslim conquerors and the Crusaders to today’s American evangelists, have repeatedly altered her history to fulfil biblical prophecy.

A person could read the above paragraph and be inspired to consider how wonderful and sacred a place Jerusalem must be.  Another person would be forced to think about the bloodshed that has occurred in the names of those religions in Jerusalem.  I have never been there, but this book makes me understand that it's both of those things.  The history of Jerusalem contains examples of the best and the worst that humans have wrought on each other.

Simon Sebag Montefiore called his book Jerusalem: A Biography for two reasons.  First, the city has a personality of its own.  In that paragraph above, he refers to Jerusalem as "her".  The Talmud also refers to Jerusalem as a woman.  The second reason is that the book is about "the people that made Jerusalem, and how they built it, and how it developed.  It's people and families that build cities."

The book presents the history of Jerusalem from Abraham to the Six Day War.  It is separated into chapters that usually focus on a single historical figure.  Some example chapter titles: "The Fall of Antigonos: Last of the Maccabeans", "Duke Godfrey: The Siege", and "The Emperor and the Caliph: Charlemagne and Haroud al-Rashid".  The chapters are short and can be read as self-contained stories within the story.  It's extremely well-organized, very readable, and will be an excellent resource for years to come.

I never felt that the author (who is Jewish) was agenda driven.  In fact, I would have to say that the book had a distinct secular feel to it.  Referring to the paragraph at the beginning of this review, he states that people "have repeatedly altered her history to fulfill biblical prophecy", implying that any prophecy that may have been fulfilled was purposeful and deliberate.  This includes Jesus.  Of the Resurrection, Montefiore says: "Archaeologists tend to believe that the body was simply removed and buried by friends and family in another rock-cut tomb somewhere around Jerusalem."  The book is not "about" the religions of Jerusalem, but the subject is impossible to escape.  Overall, I feel he did a remarkable even-handed job, treating all religions with a bit of detachment.

I learned a great deal from this book, and I look forward to visiting Jerusalem someday.  I've stated before that I'm waiting for the dust to settle before I do, but it hasn't settled for 3000 years.  I don't expect it will any time soon.

The Latest Book I'm Reading About Marriage? Would You Believe ... The Odyssey?

It's true! Jesse, Scott, and I discuss books 5-8 of The Odyssey at SFFaudio.

Gloria Purvis: What a Well-Reasoned Response to the HHS Mandate

I am in awe of Gloria Purvis. What an articulate, reasoned, intelligent argument she makes.

So much so that I am going to take my courage in both hands and send it to a couple of friends who may never speak to me again ... but if anyone can make the argument, she does.

It is what we need more than anything ... spokespeople like Gloria who can't be denied as a regular woman.

Five Years, 3302 Yards of Yarn, and Untold Hours Later ... I Present the Sampler Afghan!

Holy moly, I thought this took 3 years. Turns out now that I check the date, it took 5! Oh well, I also was knitting socks, bears, and suchlike so I took many a break.

The pattern worked absolutely perfectly and it went together like a charm. Kudos to Melissa Leapman who wrote Cables Untangled. It worked! (click the image to see it larger)

It is absolutely gorgeous and I want to make one for myself now. (You should have seen the look Tom gave me when I said that. A look that said, "you're nuts!")

I have entrusted it to FedEx to get it to Rose in L.A. Nervously. But I did entrust it. And she got it! Woohoo!

Julie and Scott are forced to spend the entire movie in #$%^ing Bruges. Not all is lost, though, because they're filming midgets!

 In Bruges, written and directed by Martin McDonagh.  PS: It's in Belgium.

Now under discussion at A Good Story is Hard to Find podcast.

At the Crossroads in America: We Hold These Truths

“He might be good, but he’s not that good.” Turns out that Ted Chiang actually is that good.

Wow.

A couple of days ago, I gave John le Carré a “wow” for A Perfect Spy; today I’m giving Ted Chiang a “wow” for pretty much his entire output.

Here’s what I know about Ted Chiang. He’s a science fiction writer. He writes short fiction (his longest published piece is a novella). He knocks my socks off.

Now that's what I like to see. Will Duquette sees the light and gives a look at some of Ted Chiang's stories on the way. Go to The View From the Foothills to read more.

Priceless: You're the friend I'd least want to kill ...

Via the delightful Amy H. Sturgis, queen of the YA dystopian novel appreciators.