Made Me Laugh - Out Loud: Savage Chickens

Doug Savage does it again ...

I think you might have to be American to really get this one. An American who grew up watching the Rankin and Bass version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Weekend Joke: 'Tis the Season

There is a dearth of Advent jokes, so we're going to mentally hop ahead a week and go for the Christmas cheer. Enjoy!

Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino's for a pizza.

The salesgirl asked him, "Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?"

Alien First Contact with a Catholic Twist: Reviewing "The Deacon's Tale" by Arinn Dembo

"This enemy seems to arrive in small numbers, but their attacks result in mass disappearances: once a system's defenses are overwhelmed or circumvented, the rippers are able to kidnap thousands at a time. And regardless of the defenses available on the ground, they seem to meet with little resistance once they land..."

"They take our people," he said quietly. "They snatch up their victims whenever and wherever our backs are turned, anywhere that they find our defenses weak. By the time we can react, they've vanished again without a trace. The ones we lose are never seen again."

Cai Rui is Task Force Commander of the infamous "Black Section" of the Sol Force Intelligence Corps. He's also a loyal Archdeacon of the Roman Catholic Church. There are four intelligent species in the known universe, including humans or "apes" as they call themselves. Cai Rui must work with each group if he is going to track down and foil the brutal, new species that is preying on them all. Even more disturbing than the slave trade is that the evil aliens are led by one who calls himself Black Deacon and seems to be able to read souls.

The subtitle is "a Sword of the Stars novel." I've never heard of the "Sword of the Stars" before but I see from checking the Amazon reviews that it is a video game. If they had a Mac version, I'd try it because it looks interesting. However, you don't have to know the game to read the book. Also the game developer is the author of this book which is an interesting twist.

I wound up enjoying this book which was a fast-paced military sf book. Catholics will enjoy the fact that Cai Rui is absolutely a "good" and loyal Catholic who can best practically everyone in combat and smarts. Catholic elements are treated with respect although not everyone who is Catholic is a good person which, sadly, is quite true to life. We are happy to despise a certain Cardinal who seems to be meddling with nefarious purpose.

I also enjoyed the alien races who the author portrays vividly. They do not fit our expectations of the "classic" alien race types which is a nice surprise. The Hivers are insectoid but don't have a hive mind. The Tarkas are reptilian but artistic and sensitive. The Liir are an air-breathing aquatic species (which made me think of dolphins although they have tentacles) who are powerful telepaths.

The Deacon's Tale was a bit too fast-paced in some places as I finally had to read the appendix on the alien enemy to even get a decent idea of what they looked like. In fact, until I checked the appendix on Liir I didn't have a good grasp on their appearance either. This isn't the case for the other species but, again, the book often eschews description for action. A few other details were also glossed over in an unsatisfactory way. I wanted to know more about why the traitor betrayed his race in favor of the enemy, for one thing.

Overall, however, The Deacon's Tale was a fun read that kept me up late to see what would happen. I'd definitely be interested in reading the sequel.

"You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.*" St. Therese, intercede for us.

Lately I've been thrown into contact with a person who knows everything.

Seriously. Everything.

Anyone around them can say something and this person's opinion is delivered like the word of God: quick, definitive and absolute.

With no conversation. And no take backs.

Now, there is nothing wrong with having an opinion and Heaven knows I have plenty of my own.

However, what makes this interesting is that each opinion is delivered also as a judgment of anyone who is not of a similar mind. There is no give and take, no "oh, why do you think that?" This may be about important matters of faith and family or it may be about something as inconsequential as what sort of cell phone to buy.

Either way, judgement is rendered.

Needless to say, any variation is not looked upon with favor. This is daunting, tiring, and can be quite infuriating. Not to mention being a conversation stopper. Especially to someone like me who is used to exchanging ideas rather than receiving verdicts upon my person based on very little evidence.

However, it is also valuable.

It reminds me that my own reactions reveal more about me than about this person. For example, Tom just lets it roll off his back, saying that he knows what this person is like and most of it is due to extreme youth and lack of life experience.

True enough.  I feel that if this person knew how they appeared to others when in this mode, they would be taken aback. So I'm also a bit sorry for them. Because I've been there. I was the hard edged, sarcastic, opinionated person that God has been working on for a long time to soften. Tom says that I wasn't as similar as I think, but I recognize that quality and am somewhat mortified to think how I appeared to others long ago. And, shamefully, occasionally may still appear these days.

I'm also thankful that God's been so faithful in continually softening those blunt edges.

Thinking all this over, St. Therese of Lisieux came to mind. In Story of a Soul** Therese recounts her determination to love even the most annoying person in her convent. Why? Because the artist loves nothing better than to have his art praised and Jesus is the artist who made that annoying woman's soul.

A sobering thought.

I don't know why Therese's experience came to mind but I'm grateful it did. It reminded me to ask Jesus to show me what He loves in this soul He created specifically for this time and place. Who He loves just as much as He loves me.

That prayer is one I ask St. Therese to join since she knows my struggle so well. Whether I receive any further insight remains to be seen. But I actually have received all I need. What I know is that my struggle, my prayer, and my intentions are enough. God will use them as He sees fit for my good and for that of the person. I must just keep on keepin' on.

Lord, hear my prayer. St. Therese pray with me.

* A Knight's Tale
** My review and comments here

Christmas Reading; "Oh Holy Night: The Peace of 1914"

I'm reposting this because I didn't get my review up last year until just before Christmas. It is truly a wonderful book.

We had the time of our lives on Christmas Day. The Germans left their trenches and walked without their rifles half-way across the field to where we were entrenched. There was not a shot fired. Some of our chaps then got out and went to meet the German soldiers. You should have seen them shaking hands with our boys and handing them smokes. Both sides walked and talked with one another as if there was nothing the matter. later on our lads helped the Germans to bury their dead and sang over the graves. It was a sigh you could never forget.

Lance Corporal George Yearsley

Oh Holy Night: The Peace of 1914  by Michael C. Snow is a truly moving account of the Christmas Eve in 1914 during World War I when German and British soldiers left their trenches and met in "no man's land" to celebrate a common day of peace and fellowship. Told through British soldiers' letters home, we see the common themes of surprise and thankfulness over this shared Christian celebration with their fellow men. This is followed by the dismaying official orders from those far from the war who declare that any similar displays of good fellowship toward enemy soldiers will be treated as treason.

The event is then contrasted in the second part of the book with a personal connection between rival nations at a higher level as we see the great affection between Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II and Russia's Czar Nicholas II who were cousins through their grandmother, Queen Victoria. Their personal notes to each other from the year before World War I show their fondness and we follow the breakdown in relations between countries as each cousin strives to believe the best of the other behind the scenes.

Threaded through these accounts are Christmas carols, scripture of Christ's birth and teachings, psalms, reflection from saints and others including Mark Twain. The author uses all of these and his own reflections to bring the reader to consider peace, war, mercy, forgiveness, and living Christ's teachings.

The author provided me with a pdf of this book (I converted it to mobi for my Kindle). I plan on purchasing a copy as I think it is a worthy accompaniment to Dickens' A Christmas Carol in reminding us of the true meaning of Christmas in bringing Christ's light into the world.

Highest recommendation.

It's only potatoes, you say. No. It isn't.

And my sis has the whole story why at her blog, The Guideline.

Guess what?

I already was planning on making those potatoes. Haven't had them for years but they are "on my palate" whenever I think of the roast pork I am planning.

Our family is definitely on the same page.

Dear Hogfather, For Hogswatch I want a doll and a book and a ...

Scott and I talk about Terry Pratchett's Christmas book, Hogfather, at A Good Story is Hard to Find podcast. Hilarity ensues while seriously examining belief. Yes, he's that good.

Rose's Culinary Delight Continue with Chicken and Sausage Jambalaya

Not to mention last night's African chicken dish and the night before's Thai Lemongrass Stir-Fried Pork. Dang that girl's a good cook!

But first things first. Jambalaya. Get it at Meanwhile, Back in the Kitchen.

Ten Free Kindle Christmas Books

Here's the list.

Trojan Tub Entertainment: a project from a Catholic author, entrepreneur, and homeschooling Dad

From Daniel McInerny to my inbox and definitely worth checking out ...

This past summer I founded a company, Trojan Tub Entertainment, a web-based children's entertainment company featuring my "Patria" series of humorous adventures for middle grade readers (approx. ages 8-13). Recently Trojan Tub launched its Kingdom of Patria website, an immersive, interactive site for kids and families. The site contains free Patria short stories, fun audio, blog posts from me and the main characters, two clubs for kids to join (one for boys, one for girls), and much more! You can check it out by going here.

The site provides links to the first book in the Patria series, Stout Hearts & Whizzing Biscuits, now available as an eBook here at Amazon (for the absurdly low price of $2.99!). It is also available on barnesandnoble.com as well as iTunes. The unabridged audiobook is also available from Worldwide Audiobooks.

About Stout Hearts Rachel Dove, of Kindle Book Review, wrote in her 5-Star Review: “It's fresh, highly amusing, and with Oliver Stoop being such an identifiable, lovable character (and a bookworm himself to boot!) I can see this book quickly becoming a modern classic that will stay with children long after the last page.”

Trojan Tub Entertainment and my Patria stories have recently been featured on the web. You can check out those features at Catholic Exchange and Ignitum Today.

What I Just Finished Reading: Lit by Mary Karr - UPDATED

This is actually an ongoing commentary on the book as I read it ... not a review really. The update is at the bottom with the bold header.

Lit: A Memoir by Mary Karr

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


Reading this for my book club.

O.M.G.

If there is a genre I hate, it is that of addicts telling their life stories ... yes, even when they come out Christian at the other end. Just like a bad movie made for Christian ends, an angsty book told for Christian ends does nothing for me. First give me good art (story) I say, then worry about what else is in it.

It isn't that I don't have sympathy for the people themselves, it is that their books inevitably seem to be all about them (me, me, me ... angst and self loathing ... then repeat).

I know, this makes me sound harsh. But there you have it.

The only thing worse than that?

Tell it in stream-of-consciousness (which around our house, we call "lazy writer's syndrome").

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to Lit.

FINAL - AFTER THE BOOKCLUB
No one spoke out as boldly as I did against the beginning of the book, but some others acknowledged similar problems, though they soldiered on and didn't skip the way I did. We all agreed that the end of the book, from the point I began reading (page 275 for those who are interested) was where the author "came alive." Obviously this was intentional and reflected the change between the addicted life and a sober life with faith mixed in. However, I'd have liked reading a book that began at that point. Or possibly just a bit before.

So yes I have a very bad attitude going in and after reading the first four pages I was consciously reminding myself that some book club members read 400 pages of Assam & Darjeeling who never have read fantasy before.

Therefore, I manned up and soldiered on. For another four pages. I didn't want to actually weep aloud so I stopped reading.

And then I recalled one book club member who skimmed Assam & Darjeeling in 20 minutes and kept insisting that she'd "read" the book ... but she had so many other books she was reading that she didn't have time to properly sit down with this one.

Right.

But ok, everyone loves her and we have good manners (unlike this commentary, I realize) and so we politely agreed to her fiction.

Which opened the gate for me to do the same. Almost.

I managed to page through and find where Karr actually goes to her knees to pray and gets a bit of response ... and will pick up skimming from there. Although the next meeting isn't for a few weeks. So there's no need to actually rush into this or anything (yes, I also enjoy procrastinating in my spare time ...)

UPDATE
Full disclosure ... I haven't read the first 200-250 pages. It is just that is the spot from which I am taking the plunge. As quick a plunge as possible. The book club is Monday so I've got to begin skimming now!

FINAL
I must say that I enjoyed the last part of the book fairly well. It didn't make me want to go back and read the beginning of it, but I have rarely read a better description of one's interaction with God than the last part of the book. So in the end, I am glad that I read the bit that I did. I'll be curious to see how everyone else liked it.

FINAL - AFTER THE BOOKCLUB
No one spoke out as boldly as I did against the beginning of the book, but some others acknowledged similar problems, though they soldiered on and didn't skip the way I did. We all agreed that the end of the book, from the point I began reading (page 275 for those who are interested) was where the author "came alive." Obviously this was intentional and reflected the change between the addicted life and a sober life with faith mixed in. However, I'd have liked reading a book that began at that point. Or possibly just a bit before.

The Jesse Tree ... and human failings

I started off strong with the Jesse Tree, but only got as far as Day 7 before life intervened and I got off track.

This sort of thing happens to me so often.

However, I can say that up to this point the Jesse Tree has definitely served its purpose, for me anyway. Between thinking about the chain of salvation history it has shown me and reading the daily mass readings each day, I have a sense of the age-old longing for messiah which the Hebrew people felt for so many years. This longing translates into my own longing for Christ, which is a peace-inducing overlay to the Christmas preparations. It has made a difference for me this year.

My apologies as I am not sure I'll be able to get back to the Jesse Tree this year, but am viewing this as a foundation upon which I can build next year (ever hopeful, right?).

For those who are more disciplined and determined than I, Catholic Culture was my launching point and will be a wonderful resource.

Save Greendale (with the cast of Community)

Get the Greendale experience...

If you don't, know what Greendale or Community are, then ... move along, nothing to see here.

Red, White, Blue, and Zombies: Reviewing "Patient Zero" by Jonathan Maberry

My review for SFFaudio which they very kindly let me run here also.

Jonathan Maberry caught my attention immediately with Patient Zero’s dedication:

This book is dedicated to the often unsung and overlooked heroes who work in covert operations and the intelligence communities.

And then he caught it again with the quote with which the book begins.

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know a particular person who is one of those unsung heroes and so my natural inclination is to look approvingly upon the author’s sentiments.

However, I wasn’t here for a covert intelligence story or a spy story but for zombies. Also, because I’d heard the Writing Excuses podcasters praising the Joe Ledger series.

Then I heard the first two sentences of the book itself.

When you have to kill the same terrorist twice in one week, then there’s either something wrong with your skills or something wrong with your world.

And there’s nothing wrong with my skills.

Aha. The hat trick … which also informed me that I actually was here for a covert intelligence story, for a spy story, and, this should go without saying by now, for zombies.

Here’s a quick story synopsis.

Joe Ledger is a hardened Baltimore cop with serious skills in physical combat. After a surprise raid on suspected drug traffickers, he is strong-armed into joining the DMS, a rapid response task-force that handles problems too big for Homeland Security. The latest problem is a terrorist’s bio-weapon which, for all practical purposes, turns the infected into zombies. While Joe and his team try to track and stop the threat, we also see the bad guys: a tangled knot of corporate interests and Muslim fanatics gearing up for the ultimate assault on American soil.

In a way this is a meta thriller. It is obvious that there are the standard types which are being used. The Warrior. The Super Villain. The Mad Scientist. The Best Friend who is also The Conscience. Characters will even call people by these labels. This is reinforced by such tidbits as when a scientist excitedly asks Joe if he’s read Doctor Spectrum comics where Joseph Ledger is a character. However, Maberry keeps it from being cliched. Perhaps it is the zombies but I felt it was also due to Joe Ledger’s character and the blistering pace of the book. Short, fast chapters keep the action moving and the reader on the edge of their seat.

As with many thrillers, the story is relatively formulaic. The good guys are very good. The bad guys are very bad. Joe bleeds red, white, and blue and there is no way he is going to let terrorists harm Americans. There is a bit of humor, a touch of romance, and a ton of suspense. And zombies. Lots and lots of zombies coming in wave after wave.

It’s a formula that works. We need heroes and villains in our stories. Sometimes it is easy to see who they are. Patient Zero works because Maberry reminds us of how much entertainment there is to be had in the telling of such a tale.

My one problem with the book was that there were a couple of extended zombie attack sequences where Joe and the team just had to keep fighting and fighting … and fighting. We’d have gotten the same effect by cutting out just a bit of the fighting, particularly in the crab plant. They didn’t really have to be down to the point of ripping legs off of tables for weapons in order for me to understand just how desperate the situation was. However, this is a small quibble.

Much of the delight in this audiobook comes from Ray Porter’s narration. He reads Joe Ledger’s lines as if he were Ledger himself, reacting perfectly with a naturalness that made me feel as if I were hearing Joe’s actual thoughts. I particularly enjoyed the moments when he would hesitate or pause to emphasize points because that carried me into Joe’s emotions much more than if I had been reading.

The only problem with the narration was that Porter was a little too thorough. There is one character whose identity we don’t know until the end of the book but who we hear speaking with his employer. As I listened, I continually wondered if Porter had randomly chosen the accent with which this character spoke. I found myself listening to other characters in the book, wondering if we’d met this character yet and if he had that accent. It didn’t give it away much before the book itself did but it turns out that the narrator was being true to the character and that is something that I don’t think would have come across in the actual book. This isn’t a big deal, but it was an interesting problem.

Overall, you have to like this sort of thriller to enjoy this book. But if that’s the sort of thing you like, as I obviously do, then you’re going to really enjoy meeting Joe Ledger. And wave after wave of zombies.

900+ Free Kindle Books This Morning

You’ll see that this list has all of the non-public domain free books on the Amazon website and, as I type this post, should refer you to 2,735 free Kindle books. If you look on the left-hand side of the Amazon page that pops up, you will see the books sorted by category with 1,988 fiction and 688 non-fiction books.

Wow!

How did this happen? Well, with the lending program I told you about yesterday (click here to see that post again), independent authors now have the ability to offer their books for free for a five day period every 90 days. Needless to say, it would appear quite a few authors chose to offer their books for free starting today. While they won’t make any money off of these free offers, the hope they have is you will try out their book and enjoy it, and possibly purchase some of their other offerings.

Holy Moly! Free Kindle Books has the entire story.

Woah. I've Never Been to an Outlet Mall Before ... But Now I Have.

And it seems that it takes a surprising amount of time.

Precious blogging time, as it turns out.

Back tomorrow!

First Communion Invitations

Here's a great deal! Happy Catholic readers can get 25% off ordering at 1st Holy Communion Invitations. I'm going to put this in the sidebar also, under Catholic Resources, because the site is a nice one and the invitations and gifts look really lovely.

It's an exclusive 25% off code for Happy Catholic readers (and easy to remember): HAPPYCATHOLIC

Swing by and check it out.

A little more like Mary

Renee writes to say she's in RCIA classes right now and thought she'd start an outlet for her studies. It looks as if she's made a good start.

Do check out a little more like Mary and say hello!

When the Fine Art of Storytelling Goes to the Dogs: Reviewing "Hounded"

Hounded by Kevin Hearne

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

This is my review from SFFaudio.

Hounded is the first of a hugely popular YA series, highly recommended by a friend and, luckily for me, available as a review book from SFFaudio.

Here’s the brief summary for those who, like me, hadn’t heard of this book:

Atticus O’Sullivan, last of the Druids, lives peacefully in Arizona, running an occult bookshop and shape-shifting in his spare time to hunt with his Irish wolfhound. His neighbors and customers think that this handsome, tattooed Irish dude is about twenty-one years old — when in actuality, he’s twenty-one centuries old. Not to mention: He draws his power from the earth, possesses a sharp wit, and wields an even sharper magical sword known as Fragarach, the Answerer. Unfortunately, a very angry Celtic god wants that sword, and he’s hounded Atticus for centuries. Now the determined deity has tracked him down…

Hounded begins with verve as Atticus is a charming narrator who introduces us to his friends, who are mainly from the supernatural world. We meet Druid gods, local werewolves, a Viking vampire, the local coven of witches, and Atticus’s Irish wolfhound, Oberon, with whom Atticus can carry on mental conversations. There are few genuine humans in Atticus’s life and none are developed beyond a paltry few amusing characteristics, such as the Irish widow who likes to get drunk before going to Mass and forgives murder on her lawn if she is told the victims were British. The most likable character in the group is the dog Oberon who is charmingly focused on doggish things and has just enough understanding of Atticus’s world to offer his own solutions from time to time.

My initial attraction to the story soon ground to a halt. The problem with this book, and it is a large problem, is that Atticus is a perpetual Peter Pan character. His emotional development seems to be frozen at several years younger than his outward 21 years since a heaving bosom is all it takes to permanently distract him from whatever he’s doing. Pity. One would have hoped that 2,100 years of living would result in a certain amount of experience leading to wisdom. Instead, Atticus spends more time in a practical joke on an ambulance attendant than in thinking through how much he should have healed himself from a bullet wound to make it seem convincing to local law enforcement. That’s ok though because Atticus has friends and allies who unfailingly show up to give an easy solution without readers ever feeling that Atticus himself is too worried about the outcome. This leads to a permanent lack of dramatic tension.

It’s a pity there isn’t a “Wendy” to accompany Atticus’s “Peter Pan.” That would give Hounded the necessary depth and contrast. Now we can see how wise J.M. Barrie was in the construction of his tale. Without a truly human element who lacks control of the situation, all the adventures are one boring episode after another with nary a worry about how Atticus will escape.

The one good thing about this book is the narrator, Luke Daniels. I haven’t come across him before but will keep an eye out for him in the future. His talents kept me listening long past the point where I would have given up. His voicing of Oberon has found its way into my head whenever we “speak” for the dogs in our household.

Sadly, Daniels’ talents aren’t enough to make this shallow story worth your time. There are many wonderful YA stories out there that are worth reading and rereading: The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman, the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling, Eon: Dragoneye Reborn by Alison Goodman, White Cat by Holly Black, and Assam and Darjeeling by T.M. Camp are just a few.

For that matter, try Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie. You’ll see what Hounded could have been with proper attention given to the storytelling.

Pasta with Spinach, Tomatoes, and Blue Cheese

Another of Rose's finds which delighted us at mealtime ... get it at Meanwhile, Back in the Kitchen.