It's All Downhill from Here: Nature's Mathematician

A little mid-week humor (more or less midweek) from the brilliant Dr. Boli whose latest allegorical bestiary topic is timely since I just installed bird feeders outside my kitchen window about a month ago. Though I, of course, must adapt it to the fox squirrel.

DR. BOLI’S ALLEGORICAL BESTIARY.

No. 22.—The Grey Squirrel.

THE GREY SQUIRREL is a cunning mathematician whose skill in calculating trajectories is unmatched in the animal kingdom. It has, in fact, been estimated by behavioral scientists that the Grey Squirrel would have reached the moon at least two million years before man did, had not the squirrel’s calculations revealed that the probability of finding peanuts on the moon was practically nil.

Ornithologically inclined observers who keep bird feeders in the back yard may frequently see Grey Squirrels sitting in low branches near the bird feeders, manipulating their tiny slide rules with astonishing speed and consummate skill to arrive at exactly the correct parabola that will take a squirrel from branch to feeder in one leap.

No amount of ingenuity in the design of bird feeders will ultimately defeat a determined Grey Squirrel, and the best strategy for bird lovers who wish to preserve something for their feathered friends is to feed the squirrels themselves so often that they become more or less spherical, which throws off their parabolic calculations.

Although human intelligence is no match for the squirrel’s, there is one enemy for whose formidable brain the Grey Squirrel is no match. This is the Blue Jay, a member of the hyperintelligent Corvid family of birds. Alas, the Blue Jay uses his brain for evil instead of good, his favorite recreation being the theft of nuts from (relatively) innocent squirrels. Squirrel lovers should not attempt to thwart the Blue Jay, no matter how much sympathy they feel for their furry grey friends. The Blue Jay is a bird you would not wish to have for an enemy.

Allegorically, the Grey Squirrel represents Engineers’ and Technicians’ Local No. 348, which has kindly agreed to sponsor this allegory through March 28, 2014.

Vive La Difference!

... women and men strive for the same virtues, but often attain them and express them in different ways. The virtues will be lived and manifested differently in the lives of sisters, mothers, and wives than in brothers, husbands, and fathers. Two different musical instruments, playing the exact same notes, will produce two different sounds. The difference in the sounds is one of those ineffable things that’s hard to describe with words, but easy to discern. Neither instrument is better than the other; in the hands of the diligent and dedicated, each instrument plays music which fills the spirit and adds beauty to the world.

I have never seen that truth stated more beautifully. Be sure to read What is Manliness in its entirety. It is a splendid article.

Anyone remember the name of this book?

I have been wracking my brains trying to recall the title of a book where a modern woman who complained night and day about everything in her life was sent back to Roman times (not to Rome though) by some ancient gods. She may have had their statues around as decorations?

In the process, she learns many lessons about just what life was like back then, beginning with why you didn't drink the water but went for the wine. In those long ago times she experiences the boredom of a life without constant entertainment, the terrors of being overrun by enemies, as well as the dubious joys of being saved by the soldiers on your own side. In a rather more unlikely fashion she also has brief dealings with the head of the army in order to negotiate a settlement for damages (perhaps she was a lawyer in modern times?).

Anyway, it was a very good look at what life may have been like back then if seen through modern eyes. My search engine forays haven't turned up anything so I'm tossing the question out there to y'all.

My Prescription for 26 Years of Wedded Bliss?

We began with me getting married in a nightgown, though that is not, of course, a prerequisite.

Perhaps being married to the most patient and wonderful man in the world? That's certainly a help.

(Did I mention that he's very patient?)

Whatever it is, we're going strong and happier than ever.

We celebrated last weekend as a friend of Hannah's is going to be arriving today to stay for a few weeks while she saves up enough money to establish herself in an apartment. We went to MoMo's, which is such a well kept secret that we had forgotten all about it. It still features the same excellent Italian food that we recalled from when it opened not too long after we married.

As it turns out, it is a good thing that we celebrated early because Tom has a meeting scheduled for 5:00 tomorrow which may run rather long. It would have played havoc with celebration plans. That's all par for the course on our little web-farm.

Also, Happy Birthday to my sweet sis, Lisa, who generously agreed to share her birthday with us each year. If we lived closer I'd bake you this cake (or at least give it my best shot).

Photo source

Another Batch o' Books

More of the books that have been flowing through our house and my consciousness ...

The Daughter of Time by Josephine Tey *****
A classic mystery except that it is conducted by a Scotland Yard inspector who is in the hospital for several weeks bored out of his mind (this is before television). He is known for his ability to "read faces" and is intrigued by a portrait of Richard III. Could such a sensitive face actually belong to a king who murdered his nephews to secure his crown? With the help of an American scholar, he investigates using historical sources, and then must investigate their sources. This is a brilliant work that remains deservedly one of the best known mystery stories ever. (#43)

Blackout by Connie Willis *
I never thought I'd give Connie Willis a one-star review. Honestly? If they had no stars, that is what I'd give. What a waste of time. If it were any other author I'd have stopped long ago but I kept giving her more chances.

This is the first of a two-part series about traveling back to WWII London. Problems with the book: Soooo many different characters. Thrown in seemingly randomly in fairly similar settings so it takes me a bit to catch the switch. That is quite annoying. Worse yet, no forward motion ever takes place. The various characters move throughout their little stories, all wondering why no one from home base has come through to save them and take them back to their own time (they do this over and over and over ... aaargh .. what a bunch of wusses). You may or may not care about the characters and their stories, but eventually you tire even of those because they, too, go nowhere. What a lot of wasted ink and paper.

Editors, you should have reined Willis in and forced the story into one book. I no longer care what happens to any of them so the second book is completely wasted. What a shame and a waste of writing talent. (#44)

How's Your Drink? Cocktails, Culture, and the Art of Drinking Well by Eric Felten ****
I always enjoyed reading Eric Felten's weekly cocktail column in the Wall Street Journal and was very sorry when it recently ended. Luckily, this book conveys the interesting combination of history and drink that Felten is so good at writing. With delicious and carefully selected recipes, naturally! I have tried the Raspberry Shrub and found it delicious. (#45)

The Beer Trials by Fearless Media Critic ****
As with The Wine Trials, the authors give many different kinds of beer the paper-bag review treatment. This allows them to find the best tasting beer without prejudicing results by seeing labels or brands.

I can say this is probably the only book that Tom has ever hijacked from me. He spent quite some time perusing the results and reading aloud various selections that had been reviewed. Yes, we're more beer drinkers than wine drinkers in our household.

The book also has a very interesting front section that describes the difference between all the different kinds of beer. Who knew? Not me!

We have several sorts of beer on our list to try now and luckily we can probably find many of them at our nearby Central Market.

Highly recommended. (This was a review copy.) (#46)

The "R" Father by Mark Hart ***
Written in a straight forward fashion but providing surprising insights to the Our Father (The Lord's Prayer) from the perspective of reflecting on it in 14 phrases. I plan on reviewing this properly but don't wait for that. Get it. Recommended. (#47)

City of Dragons by Kelli Stanley *
I believe that many have read my comments from when I was about halfway through this book. Just when I thought I was reconciled to all the above, was jogging along, in a story that has been told in the detective's POV (including thoughts) ... the author suddenly throws in one sentence that tells us what someone else is thinking. Then back to usual. I figured it was an editorial miss from rewriting. But no, a couple of pages later, there is a whole paragraph that way again. No warning, just tossed in there and then gone again. So disruptive to the reader. Or at least this reader. It tosses me out of the story completely. And guess what? It tells us nothing new. Nothing. We already knew those things about the reporter. Was it that the editor missed this? Lost a fight? Or, worse, thought it was a good idea? Oy veh ...

In summary: this noir wannabe is actually chick lit. It should have been cut in half by the editors. This could have been easily achieved by not indulging the author in her desire to "take us back in time" by describing every single item, person, and place encountered. I know her afterward discusses the authenticity. I'd prefer an authentically well told tale to meandering about in old San Francisco.

These Just In
From St. Benedict Press I received this interesting grab bag of books:

• Bleeding Hands, Weeping Stone by Elizabeth Ficocelli: when Ficocelli discovered that she wasn't the only one who'd never heard of many of the Church's approved miracles, she wrote this book.
• The Essential Belloc edited by McCloskey, Bloch, and Robertson: quotes and fairly lengthy excerpts make up this compilation, sorted by subject. I was initially uninterested, however, as I have always meant to read Belloc, this actually looks like a good beginning point what with those lengthy excerpts and all. Tom picked this up, flipped through, and instantly began laughing and reading me a bit. Which is a good beginning I think we would all agree.
• The Judas Syndrome: Seven Ancient Heresies Return to Betray Christ Anew by Thomas Colyandro: I believe that this is the book I wrote to request. I am fascinated by all the ways that old heresies pop up in new clothing to mislead us anew. This looks very interesting.
• The Three Marks of Manhood: How to be Priest, Prophet and King of Your Family by G.C. Dilsaver: Tom saw this and instantly quipped, "As long as I'm king then I don't need to be priest or prophet." Joking and title aside, this actually looks like a pretty good book for those who want to regain a sense of proportion about their marriages and homes. Rather akin to the goals that I see and agree with in The Art of Manliness, which is a regular read for me.
  

I just wanna say one more time to small publishers ... giant type makes baby Jesus cry. Puhleez people!

What Does Happiness Look Like?

Here's one take on it.

The Pioneer Woman has run a variety of photo assignment themes in the past but the current one of "happiness" is inspired. There's not a bad photo in the lot.

Go take a look and get ready to smile. A lot.

In which I am completely surprised

The Amazon box came and I looked at it as if I had x-ray vision. Trying to remember which of Rose's birthday gifts from that source hadn't come yet.

Hmmm ... only one way to find out.

But I didn't order this ... though I do dearly wish to read it.


Did I order it by mistake? Knowingly fool myself?

No.

Checking the receipt, I see that a friend I have made through this blog very kindly sent it to me.

Such a thing has never happened.

Was I thrilled?

Of course.

Humbled?

Natch.

But here's the thing. More than anything I am grateful for this kind person's friendship. You would never think that both of us began more as sparring partners over our faith. In that big tent of Catholicism she was on one side and I on the other.

What kept drawing us back to emailing each other? To reading each other's blogs? To continually trying, despite our opinionated differences, to find ways to understand each other, to explain ourselves better?

I can't really put my finger on it except to say that when we weren't sparring, we were having the most delightful conversations. Gradually the sparring has lessened and turned into occasional thoughtful conversations about issues. Gradually we have built a friendship. What a blessing.

What a delightful surprise. And I'm not talking about the book. Though, of course, the book is not only a delightful surprise but a wonderful reminder that made me think over this slow blooming friendship.

Thank you, Meg.

In which the scouting begins in earnest and skullduggery is afoot!

Better late than never, here is the latest episode of The Riddle in the Sands from Forgotten Classics.

Certain listeners will be happy to note that this is a cliffhanger-free episode. Ok, probably all listeners will be happy about that. (Whew!)

Major Pettigrew's Last Stand

In one word--magnificent. But you will need more than one word. So--it is beyond comprehension that this is a first book. The elements of story, character, setting are so tightly bound, so perfectly intertwined, and so absolutely in-tune with one another. It is as if one had taken the fine-tuned sensibility of a Jane Austen or Georgette Heyer and wedded it to the intricate series of incident and entanglement (but NOT coincidence) that makes up a Dickens plot.

Steven Riddle's review at A Momentary Taste of Being is practically a work of art in itself. I already had requested it from the library before he began posting excerpts. This culminating summary makes my mouth water even more. No wonder I am #304 out of #350 requests at the library. I'd like to quote the entire review, but won't. I will let you enjoy it all at his blog. Here's just a touch more to lure you over there.

This is NOT a romance, even though it is a classic love story. It is a story centered around love and learning to love and understanding what love is and what love means, and by that understanding coming to forgive oneself one's shortcomings and to forgive the shortcomings so obvious in others. It would not be an exaggeration to say that properly read, this novel can be life-changing in the best possible way.

Something I'm Reading ...

I am reading City of Dragons by Kelli Stanley for the SFFaudio readalong in June.

About halfway through.

Comments so far.

*lighting a Chesterfield, taking a drag*

Problems?

Book has 'em in spades.

Too long.

Sentence fragments abound. For emphasis.

*lighting a Chesterfield, taking a drag*

Atmosphere conveyed: movie-noir voice-over style. (Eventually the author had to resort to full length sentences to tell the story ... but only after thoroughly confusing the reader.)

Did they use "f***" back then as frequently as lighting a cigarette?

Angsty. Too damned angsty.

Chick lit? Tough noir? Make up your mind.

Did I say too damned long? Should've.

*lighting a Chesterfield, taking a drag*

More details later. After I've finished.

*lighting a Chesterfield, taking a drag*

(Yes, that's my fourth cigarette in as many minutes. For dramatic emphasis, dammit. And to show how tough I am. Without that and my pumps tapping on the sidewalk, how would we know the era?)

Keeping a Sense of Proportion

Ok, in life this is important.

As illustrated by this Triple Threat ... three very different cocktails produced by simply altering the proportions of the three ingredients used. Check it out at Meanwhile, Back in the Kitchen.

Aren't we all glad that I had a lot of time Monday night to devote to sharing the goodness? Of course we are!

Frank Frazetta, R.I.P. - UPDATED

Along with the news that Lena Horne died, came the news that Frank Frazetta died also. It may be that you, like me, have no idea who that is.

There is a very easy way to illuminate you ... how could any of the Conan books gained their heights without his illustrations? Certainly my formative years would have been poorer without vans and posters featuring Frazetta's work.

Will Duquette provided what is my favorite of all the illustrations I have seen today. Brandywine Books has a good tribute.

UPDATE
Here's another tribute from lines and colors where artist tributes are what they do best and where they found some stunning sf art without naked babes or warriors. Who knew that existed in his portfolio?

Lemon Cake Recipe

At long last, as promised, I found some time last night to prepare this post over at Meanwhile, Back in the Kitchen. Yellow cake layers, tart lemon filling, lemon butter frosting ... mmmm, mmmm. What are you waiting for? Go try a piece!

Happy Birthday, Dearest Rose

Once again, Rose will be celebrating her birthday away from home, with our celebration postponed until she arrives home at the end of the month.

That didn't mean I wasn't looking for cake ideas, though I will never be able to mold a shoe out of chocolate.

We miss Rose so much and can't wait to get her home again, even though it will be for just a short time. Have a wonderful day, dear Rose, and find a delicious piece of cake to eat somewhere. I'm sure Chicago offers many a delightful choice of bakeries.

Google Doodle for Rose's Birthday

Just because I thought she'd find it amusing.

Happy Birthday, sweetie!

You may have noticed I've been somewhat absent lately ...

... punctuated with spurts of returning and posting items of interest.

I have a big project that I've been working on for a while. I can foresee it going through August or September.

I'm sorry to have not been around as much as I'd like (believe me, the stacks of things I want to share are pretty tall). Just thought I'd drop in for long enough to make a vague excuse!

Now, don't we all feel better?

I will continue to post as much as I can whenever I get time. Thank you for your patience!

Best article on Mothers' Day you will read today ...

... or any other day. The Curt Jester's usually right and he's definitely right about this one. Go read.

My mother continued: “Two hours later, your father came home all frostbitten. As I helped him off with his coat, I told him that the social worker had stopped by.—‘What did she want?’—I told her that I was expecting. She became very upset. She said that she’d be back on Thursday to take me to this doctor, who would make my period come. If I refuse to go, they might take our benefit cards away.

“Your father stood there for the longest while without saying a word. Finally, he spoke: ‘Very well, let them! Let them have their cards back! The Lord will provide.’ ”

At that point, my mother got to her feet and knelt down beside me. “Mom,” I insisted, “would you please stop this!”—“No! Let me finish!

Oh, My Gravy!

Who are we pulling for to win The Amazing Race?

Do you even have to ask?

Only the most lovable team since the hippies back in season ... well, a while back. Jet and Cord McCoy from Tupelo, Ok.

They are the real thing. Oh, my gravy!

May the best blogs truly prevail and the losers skulk off in shame!

Yes, voting has begun in the Cannonball Awards, celebrating excellence in the little blogs in the Catholic blogosphere. I am not nominated but did manage to nominate a blog for practically every category ... although I may not have always matched up those blogs properly with the categories. C'est la vie.

Go vote. More importantly, go explore (links to all the nominated blogs are here). There's something good waiting for you to find it over there.

Time and Again, Get Religion Shows Us How to Really Read a News Story

Seriously. They remind me to think when I read. Papal Politics or Piety is a sterling example as you can see from this bit.

Jason Berry of the National Catholic Reporter has done some great reporting on how Father Maciel was able to cultivate allies in the Vatican — by buying them off, basically. His work is mentioned in this article, too.

As much as the story attempts to link the delays in dealing with the case to Ratzinger, Cardinal Angelo Sodano is the one who comes off as the culprit. But it’s this part of the story that I want to highlight:

In 2001, all clerical sex abuse cases had been ordered sent to Cardinal Ratzinger’s Congregation. [Italian journalist Sandro] Magister said he believed that as the cardinal became increasingly aware of the problem’s magnitude, he ordered that old cases — including the Maciel matter — be re-examined.

And in late 2004, it was clear that Cardinal Ratzinger would be playing an important role in a future conclave to elect the next pope. And with the pope’s health and power waning, Cardinal Ratzinger may have felt a freer hand in acting against a figure protected by others in the Vatican — possibly to clear the decks for the next pope, possibly to remove a stain on John Paul’s record or his own, should he be considered for the papacy.

One of the worst things a reporter can do is make claims about the motivation of actors in the story. Unless you’re a reporter with a special talent for mindreading, I guess. So these motivation claims really shouldn’t have been made. Particularly since they are sourced to precisely no one.

But isn’t it interesting that when the reporters were pulling motivations out of the air, they didn’t suggest that Ratzinger might have actually moved against Maciel because he wanted to do the right thing and he finally had the opportunity? There are people who would suggest just that. Including Magister, who has made such statements on the record. And in this interview, he speaks very favorably of the Pope’s work in eradicating “the filth” in the priesthood — also suggesting he’s motivated not by politics but by a desire to purify the church.

Yes, their stories are all that interesting, that good at pinpointing where a reporter turned a blind eye or didn't think far enough.

Go read it all and then take a further look around. We should be reading all news stories this way, but more than anything we should be dissecting how the news covers faith.