One of the things that I possibly have mentioned but not really dwelt upon is that one of God's great gifts to Tom and me have been friends. Many, many friends. Not that we were unlikable or anything but in today's increasingly busy and isolated world it was difficult to find friendships beyond the superficial ones of fellow "school parents."
What makes this extremely obvious in my mind is that one year we held Sunday Soup Suppers for several months. It was an open invitation, which I sent several times to a large group of people. We would have open house from 5:00-8:00 with a kettle of soup and accompanying breads and cheeses for any families who felt like dropping in. We weren't looking to become best friends with people but merely to deepen the acquaintances we already had. It was surprising how very few people took advantage of the offer. Those who did seemed to enjoy themselves, as did we, but it was clear that this was a concept that just didn't fit into the lifestyle of the people we knew. We chalked it up to experience and moved on, wondering how anyone can find a community these days.
However, once I participated in the Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) retreat all that began to change. Not only did I have my fellow "team" members of about 20 women who I got to know very well, but the people from the teams before and after mine were now among those "nodding acquaintances." Naturally, I became very close with a few of these people but went past the mere acquaintance stage with many others. The truly delightful part of this is that I likely never would have encountered most of these women outside the CRHP experience at that time. Many of them were young and single. Even the older ones
(yes, around my age) were those I'd never even seen, which is not really surprising in a big parish like ours. Tom found the same thing when he went through CRHP in the session after mine, and then again, when he participated in the "road team" that helped the Ennis church begin the retreat in their parish. We didn't go into it for the "community," for the friends, but it was an unexpected side benefit that has enriched our lives immeasurably. God is so efficient in that way. What a multi-tasker!
It was friends from CRHP who asked if we had any interest in helping to bring the Beyond Cana marriage enrichment retreat to our parish. We jumped at that chance for our own reasons
(What marriage is so good it doesn't need enrichment? Answer: none). However, we soon were reaping the unexpected benefits of "community" and new friends once again in meeting couples that we likely never would met otherwise. As well, again we also were making scores of new acquaintances.
Whew!
Still with me? Because that's all background ... not even the main story
(yes, it's one of those posts!).
Last night I had one of the most delightful encounters ever and was thinking back this morning to trace just how it came about. If I hadn't stopped to do that, the title of this would be something about how giving of yourself brings greater rewards than you can imagine. Also very true, but not the
whole story as we shall see.
The Beyond Cana retreat ends on Sunday with everyone attending the 11:00 Mass together. On the way there, for a variety of reasons, primary among them that I was reading in the car
(I know better than that but did it stop me? No!) I suddenly felt so terrible that I had Tom drop me off at the house. Both girls ministered very lovingly to me and after one dashed to the Central Market for pomegranate soda and quesadilla supplies, I began to mend. I recovered by afternoon and then faced the dreadful fact that I was going to have to attend the 7:30 Mass. There's nothing wrong with that Mass at all. It was my sheer laziness at not wanting to leave the house in the evening. However, Hannah was already going and I had no excuse not to, so there we were. Outside, she ran into my friend, Grace, who later emailed me about their conversation ...
and took that opportunity to ask Tom and me to be the "married couple" for a panel discussion with some Boy Scouts for their Piux XII medal which is about vocations.
Well, who better suited to answer those questions on the fly than a couple who has helped to put on five marriage enrichment retreats? We agreed, not dreading it but not looking forward to it either. It was a way to help out these boys so that was fine, one more thing to put on our schedule and dutifully take care of.
We showed up for the panel and it was an agreeable way to spend the evening. The boys were intelligent and had some good questions (for which our Beyond Cana training was quite helpful in articulating the vocation of marriage). The other panel members clearly also were intelligent and well spoken. They had considered their vocations in terms of how they were living their lives and their faith. Especially interesting for me was when Brother Anthony, who will take his first vows in a couple of weeks as a Cistercian monk, responded about the difficulties and blessings about his vocation. He was not necessarily saying anything I hadn't heard anywhere else, but he had an inner passion and clarity that was riveting. Equally interesting, although much more meandering, was the friar who is a hospital chaplain and was much older. He had many good things to say about vocation as well, we just took a more scenic path getting there. And scenic is just fine. It makes life interesting.
The person I was most interested in hearing about, though, was Susan whose description was "transitional single." What the heck was a transitional single? Turns out that in this case, it is someone who focussed on career to the exclusion of considering marriage in the past, but now is open to the married life (if I have this right). She impressed me with her concise, well thought out, and complete answers.
Something that one of the panel moderators, my friend Grace, pointed out to the boys in concluding is that a common thread of everyone's conversation had been "community." That struck me as I had just been forcibly struck at Mass last Sunday by how many people I knew in the pews all around us. They were Beyond Cana couples, CRHP friends, and, yes, those "regulars" who always sit near us and who we now chat with occasionally due to long familiarity. How connected we were to community and how important it was in our lives. How good God is to bring us all together in worship to remind us that community, family, is a necessary joy.
After the panel was done and the cookies were being passed around, Susan approached Tom because she recognized his name as the person who prints out our parish newsletter,
The Spirit. She mentioned that she is the new editor. I was instantly thrilled. For several years, that newsletter has devolved to the point of being a depository for out of date Girl Scout photos and the like. No one I knew read it at all. Then the June/July issue came out and I saw with delight that it had substantive articles, well written, and with depth that made me print it out to read. This was that person! Woohoo!
(Go take a look at that issue in the sidebar for the link above ... we'll wait ... this woman is a brilliant writer who engaged me with St. Paul's life in the main article.)
She looked pleased and, as we began talking, I brought up a project I was working on that we could coordinate with each other. I gave her my card. Y'all will find this funny but my card has my phone number, email, the blogs, and my podcast.
(Tom was tired of me constantly scribbling on the backs of old envelopes when I met people.) I was explaining away all the extraneous info and she asked about the podcast.
Then ... it happened.
I mentioned reading aloud China Court by Rumer Godden.
This was a hope beyond hope because
no one I ever meet in person has ever heard of Rumer Godden.
(It's a lonely world out there with just The Anchoress and me shoving Rumer Godden ... and Georgette Heyer ... in everyone's face all the time.) However, I am nothing if not loyal
and stubborn so I still bring them up in conversation with people.
Her eyes widened, she smiled wider, and said, "Rumer Godden. She's so wonderful."
We sank into chairs and began talking books as fast as we possibly could.
We walked to our cars and still couldn't stop talking. One thing flowed into another, more connections were made, more similarities found. We finally tore ourselves away later into the evening. The one thing that we both made sure to do on the way out was to thank Grace for inviting us to be on the panel. In doing our duties by these Boy Scouts, and it must be noted, for our community, we had been given an extra gift that we would have otherwise missed. We don't even go to the same Mass. I barely recognized her as a lector from the few times we have gone to her regular Saturday Vigil Mass time.
It is such a wonderful thing when you "click" with a person in just a few minutes. Undeniably it is one of life's great pleasures. Something that leaves a smile on your face and your spirits high for long afterward. In a very real way, it is like falling in love ... that communion of souls that fills a gap we didn't know we had until then. What a surprise. What a joy.
And what a long route of
coincidences it took to get me there. From CRHP ... to Beyond Cana retreats ... to feeling sick and attending a late mass ... to Hannah and Grace talking ... to Grace's need for married panel members. A long and winding road to be sure, in which this budding friendship is not the
main point but surely one of the wonderful benefits along the way. Let me say it again ... God is so very efficient, such a multi-tasker. All for our good and, quite often, if we are open to it, for our joy.
These are the things that God has in store for us ... things that so often are beyond our imaginings ... things in which God knows we will delight and which He delights in giving. He is good. And I am grateful.
Obviously, with two kids in college I am way past the age where I'd need this book. However, I still remember vividly how difficult it was for little ones to get through that hour sometimes.
