The Twelve: Peter

The night before the choice He spent praying on the mountainside that they who were in the heart of the Father would also be in His own. When morning broke, He came down to where His disciples were gathered and, man by man, called those whom He had chosen. Of Peter the most is known. Peter is mentioned 195 times; the rest of the Apostles only 130 times. The one mentioned next in frequency to Peter is John, to whom there are 29 references. Peter's original name was Simon, but it was changed by our Blessed Lord to Cephas. When he was brought to Our Blessed Lord:

He brought Simon to Jesus, who looked at him and said, You are Simon son of John. You shall be called Cephas (that is, Peter, the Rock). John 1:42

The word Cephas meant "rock"; we do not get the full flavor of it in English, because Peter, the proper name, is not the same as our word "rock." The words were identical in the Aramaic which Our Blessed Lord spoke, just as they are in French, where the proper name Pierre is the same as pierre, or rock. In Scripture, whenever God changed the name of a man, it was to raise him to a higher dignity and role in the community to which he belonged. Our Lord might have been saying to Peter, "you are impulsive and fickle and unreliable, but one day all this will be changed; you will be called by a name that no one would dare give you now -- Rock Man." Whenever he is called "Simon" in the Gospels, it is a reminder of the Apostle's uninspired and unregenerate humanity; for example, when he was sleeping in the garden, Our Blessed Lord addressed him:

Asleep, Simon? Mark 14:37

Peter had by nature great qualities of leadership. For example, after the Resurrection when he said, "I go a fishing," the other Apostles followed suit. His moral courage was manifested when he left his business and his home for the Master; that same courage, expressed impetuously, made him smite off the ear of Malchus when the leaders came to arrest Our Lord. He was boastful too, for he swore that though others would betray the Master, he would not. He had a deep sense of sin, and he begged the Lord to depart from him because of his unworthiness. His very faults endear him. He was deeply attached to his Divine Master. When other disciples left, he maintained there was no one else to whom they could go. He had courage, for he left his wife and his business to follow Our Lord. To the credit of his mother-in-law, it must be said that Peter showed no regret when Our Lord cured her of a serious illness. He was impulsive to an extreme degree, guided more by feeling than by reason. He wanted to walk on the waters, and given the power, became frightened and screamed in fear -- he a man of the sea. He was an emphatic man, swinging swords, cursing, protesting against the Savior washing his feet; though named head of the Church, he had none of the ambition of James and John. But through the power of his Divine Master this impetuous man, as fluid as water, was turned into the rock on which Christ built His Church. The Divine Savior constantly linked Himself verbally with His Heavenly Father; but the only human being He ever united with Hmself and spoke of Himself and that one as "we," was Peter. From that day on, Peter and his successors have always used "we" to indicate the unity between the invisible Head of the church and its visible head ...

Life of Christ by Fulton Sheen

The Choosing of the Twelve

It is evident that from the beginning, Our Blessed Lord intended to prolong His teaching, and His reign and His very life "unto the consummation of the world;" but in order to do this He had to call to Himself a body of men to whom He would communicate certain powers that He had brought with Him to earth. This body would not be a social body such as a club, united only for the sake of pleasure and convenience; nor would it be a political body, held together by common material interests; it would be truly spiritual, the cement of which would be charity and love and the possession of His Spirit. If the society or Mystical Body Our lord wanted to found was to have continuity, it would need a head and members. If it was a vineyard, as He declared in one of His parables, it would need laborers; if it was a net, it would need fishermen; if it was a field, it would need sowers and reapers; if it was a herd, or a flock, it would need shepherds.

Life of Christ by Fulton Sheen

I found Sheen had such wonderful insight into the characters of Jesus' disciples, that I will be posting his commentary about each person here in the next few days.

Healed of the Bite of Evil

This Son of Man must be lifted up as the serpent was lifted up by Moses in the wilderness, so that everyone who has faith in him may in him possess eternal life. John 3:14-15

The Book of Numbers relates that when the people murmured rebelliously against God, they were punished with a plague of fiery serpents, so that many lost their lives. When they repented, Moses was told by God to make a brazen serpent and set it up for a sign, and all those bitten by the serpents who looked upon that sign would be healed. Our Blessed Lord was not declaring that He was to be lifted up, as the serpent had been lifted up. As the brass serpent had the appearance of a serpent and yet lacked its venom, so too, when He would be lifted up upon the bars of the Cross, He would have the appearance of a sinner and yet be without sin. As all who looked upon the brass serpent had been healed of the bit of the serpent, so all who looked upon Him with love and faith would be healed of the bit of the serpent of evil.

Life of Christ by Fulton Sheen

Georgette Heyer

If ever I was going to be embarrassed by reading a "type" of book, it would be the Regency romances written by Georgette Heyer. They are sold in the romance section and usually feature couples in period clothing on the cover.

However, nothing could be farther from the usual "romance novel" stereotype than these books. The closest analogy I can think of is Jane Austen; specifically Pride and Prejudice. Heyer's books are well researched enough to make you think that she was a contemporary and full of the sort of intelligence and humor that make you laugh out loud. Thinking over her books it is amazing how she consistently covered a wide range of characters and plots that included romance, fashion, upper classes, cross-dressing, arranged marriages, murder, intrigue, cant language, sarcasm, and humor. She also wrote a few mysteries but I never really enjoyed them the way I did the others.

Some of her romances are currently being republished, many can be found in second-hand bookstores, and most libraries have a wide selection as Heyer was amazingly prolific. A few of my favorites are The Grand Sophy, Venetia, Sylvester, or The Wicked Uncle, and The Foundling. If you haven't tried a Georgette Heyer book, pick one up, hide the cover, and prepare for a delightful and clever read.

UPDATE: I can't believe I forgot to mention that the grand finale of these books is usually when the heroine and hero finally ... wait for it ... KISS. Not quite the usual stuff we get given in romance novels these days. Not only intelligence, but respect of the characters.

Proud Parent Alert!

At BL they hand out class rankings partway through the third semester. In a class of 300, Hannah is holding steady for the third year running around number 75. Woohoo! Top 25% seems great to us! These are a lot of very smart kids, many of whom will get scholarships to top schools, if past performance is any indication.

So imagine my total shock and astonishment when Rose announced that she is number 9 out of her class of 288. Number 9? NUMBER 9!!! WOOHOO! This is with taking all honors classes too. It seems she hangs with a bunch of overachievers as one friend is number 5 and another is number 15 ... and so on, and so forth.

This is when I'd love to go around and point out to all those parents who push their kids, still check their homework (yes, in high school!), enroll them in extra study classes ... we have done none of that. If your kid has the potential and wants to use it, they will do it themselves. Both our girls have achieved their good ranks based on their own desire to excel. So lighten up on your kids already! (Though that's something I don't have to tell most regulars around here.)

The Discipline of God

It is part of the discipline of God to make His loved ones perfect through trial and suffering. Only by carrying the Cross can one reach the Resurrection. It was precisely this part of Our Lord's Mission that the devil attacked. The temptations were meant to divert Our Lord from His task of salvation through sacrifice. Instead of the Cross as a means of winning the souls of men, Satan suggested three short cuts to popularity: an economic one, another based on marvels, and a third, which was political. Very few people believe in the devil these days, which suits the devil very well. He is always helping to circulate the news of his own death. The essence of God is existence, and He defines himself as: "I am Who am." The essence of the devil is the lie, and he defines himself as: "I am who am not." Satan has very little trouble with those who do not believe in him; they are already on his side.

Life of Christ by Fulton Sheen

The Divine Disturber

Simeon was practically calling Him the "Divine Disturber," Who would provoke human hearts either to be good or evil. Once confronted with Him, they must subscribe to light or darkness. Before everyone else they can be "broadminded"; but His Presence reveals their hearts to be either fertile ground or hard rock. He cannot come to hearts without clarifying them and dividing them; once in His Presence, a heart discovers both its own thoughts about goodness and its own thoughts about God.

This could never be so if He were just a humanitarian teacher. Simeon knew this well, and He told Our Lord's mother that Her Son must suffer because his life would be so much opposed to the complacent maxims by which most men govern their lives. He would act on one soul in one way, and on another in another way, as the sun shines on wax and softens it, and shines on mud and hardens it. There is no difference in the sun, only in the objects on which it shines. As the Light of the World, He would be a joy to the good and the lovers of light; but He would be like a probing searchlight to those who were evil and preferred to live in darkness. The seed is the same, but the soil is different, and each soil will be judged by the way it reacts to the seed. The will of Christ to save is limited by the free reaction of each soul either to accept or reject. That was what Simeon meant by saying:

The secret thoughts of many will be laid bare. Luke 2:35

... Simeon also said that the Babe would disclose the true inner dispositions of men. He would test the thoughts of all who were to encounter Him. Pilate would temporize and then weaken; Herod would mock; Judas would lean to a kind of greedy social security; Nicodemus would sneak in darkness to find the Light; tax collectors would become honest; prostitutes, pure; rich young men would reject His poverty; prodigals would return home; Peter would repent; an Apostle would hang himself. From that day to this, He continues to be a sign to be contradicted. It was fitting, therefore, that He should die on a piece of wood in which one bar contradicted the other. The vertical bar of God's will is negated by the horizontal bar of the contradicting human will. As the Circumcision pointed to the shedding of blood, so the Purification foretold His Crucifixion.

Life of Christ by Fulton Sheen

Quick Reviews

BARBERSHOP 2
Not quite as good as the first but not bad at all. This time around a big developer is taking all the individuality out of Calvin's neighborhood by buying all the little businesses and putting in franchises, specifically a "Nappy Cutz" (loved that name ... the perfect franchise idea) right across the street from the barbershop. I found Queen Latifah's beauty shop next door rather distracting and could have done without that part. I did like showing Eddie's back story set in the 60's when he first came to work for Calvin's father. Glimpses of black history were the contrast that gave meaning to the modern-day struggles. If you liked the first movie this one is definitely worth renting.

DANNY DECKCHAIR
This is a charming Australian comedy about Danny, a cement worker, who lives for his annual vacation ... two weeks of camping. When his girlfriend cancels the vacation, Danny experiments by tying helium balloons onto his deckchair and then floats away into the sky. We then see Danny's new life in the small town where he lands and his girlfriend's total enjoyment of the media circus that springs up over the notoriety of the escapade. It is a low-key and charming movie, perfect for the end of a hard week.

ONMYOJI
Hannah rented this and we had no idea what sort of a movie it was. Believe me when I tell you that after watching half this movie, we still weren't quite sure. In fact, I was stunned on looking at Amazon this morning to see that this was Japan's top grossing movie in 2001. Shoddy special effects and pretty bad acting were two main reasons. To be fair, we suspected that there was a fair amount of cultural information we were lacking in order to "get" what was going on. Unless you are fairly in tune with Japanese culture and movies, I'd stay away ... far, far away ... from this movie.

This Good Catholic Boy ...

Benji Madden, Good Charlotte

... wrote this song ...

"Wondering"

If you want me to wait
I would wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering

Since I was a young man
I never was a fun man
I never had a plan and no security
Then ever since I met you
I never could forget you
I only wanna get you right here next to me

[chorus]
Cause everybody (a-whoa-oh-oh)
Needs someone that they can trust and
You're somebody (a-whoa-oh-oh)
That I found just in time
If you want me to wait
I would wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering


Now my life is changing
It's always rearranging
It's always getting stranger than I thought it ever could
Ever since I found you
I wanna be around you
I want to get down to the point that I need you

[chorus]

Don't tell me
The bad news
Don't tell me anything at all
Just tell me
That you need me
And stay right here with me

[chorus]

... about his dog. Awwww. Read the chorus again ... I think those are his dog's words there. Double awwwwwww.

Why do I say he's a "good Catholic boy?" Well, I'm not positive but here's his twin brother with his tatoos of the Virgin Mary on one arm and the sacred heart of Jesus on the other. So, just guessing here...

Joel Madden, Good Charlotte

Thanks to my "beat reporter", Rose, for this one, presented as supporting evidence when revising her "Mom mix" playlist ... just keeping me current, ya know! (And if you like these pictures you ought to get an eyeful of the posters on her wall!)

Just One More Angel Story

Many saints and holy people enjoyed friendship with their Guardian Angel, whose intercession they frequently besought. Blessed Josemaria Escriva [now Saint Escriva] had a special devotion to the Guardian Angels ... Blessed Josemaria dealt with his own Guardian Angel and customarily greeted the angel of the person to whom he was speaking. He called him "a great accomplice" in the apostolate, and asked him for material favours too. During one particular period he called his constant companion my watchkeeper, because he had entrusted him with getting his watch going when it stopped, since he didn't have enough money to have it repaired. He set aside Tuesday as a day on which to put more effort into communicating with his Guardian Angel.

Once during a time of intense anticlerical persecution in Madrid a would-be aggressor stood menacingly in Josemaria's path with the obvious intention of doing him harm. Someone suddenly stood between them and drove off the assailant. It all happened in an instant. The protector came up after the incident and whispered to him: "mangy donkey, Mangy donkey," the expression Blessed Josemaria used to refer to himself in the intimacy of his soul. Only his confessor knew about this. Peace and joy filled his heart as he recognized the intervention of his Angel.

In Conversation With God : Feast Days July - December

My "met my Guardian Angel" story is by no means as definitive as St. Escriva's. However, I do not know who else it could have been. This happened about 2 years ago. I was pulling up to a red light at a big intersection on my regular way to work. I was in the middle lane of the five lanes on that side of the street, the second car back. As I was slowing down, I noticed a homeless man on the median leaning nonchalantly with his back against a streetlight post. This is a place where a lot of homeless people begged. I was used to handing out granola bars practically every time through there. What made me notice this man though was that as I glanced at him, he was making specific eye contact with me, with an expression on his face of ... it is hard to describe ... quizzical, humorous, and, above all, familiar. It was as if he already knew me and was giving me this look to get my attention. As I stopped, he stopped looking at me and then looked unconcernedly straight ahead down the road behind me, not at any other cars or people. He was ignoring all of them. I really don't remember much about how he looked, except he was not old, his beard and hair were the exact same shade of golden brown as his clothes.

I sat there for a minute. I was out of granola bars. I was ignoring him too as I don't give money. Then I couldn't stand it. I kept thinking of St. John Vianney's injunction to give to the poor and, then, there had been that look. So I grabbed my purse and started opening it as I put the window down. He was already almost at my car ... now how he did that when I had just decided to give ... anyway, I gave him a few dollars. I didn't even look at his face. He said, "Thanks" and I said, "You're welcome."

Then he headed toward the rear of my car. I thought, "Oh, he's going to that gas station on the corner to buy food. He really was hungry." I looked in my rear view mirror. There were no cars behind me, although there were cars around me on all sides and a car in front of me. The man was gone. Well, he must be in the gas station parking lot. No. Or at an angle where I couldn't see him behind my car. No. He was gone. Vanished, you might say.

So I don't know who it was. But I will never forget that look. And I don't know why, if that was an angelic presence, he would have wanted those few dollars. Although that experience solidified my feelings about giving to the poor and it happened just a couple of days before a big debate I was part of in a women's group (which is briefly chronicled here).

So now I am done with angel stories, perhaps mercifully. I have heard a lot about others' stories so I'm passing the torch ... who will catch it?

Lectio Divina

This scoop is from my best friend Joan who went on a retreat this week that focused on Lectio Divina.

Step 1: "Statio"
Find your "sacred space" to read where it is quiet and at a regular time.

Step 2: "Lectio"
Invite the Holy Spirit in and read only "4 fingers worth" of Scripture very slowly.

Step 3: "Meditatio"
repeat a word or phrase which speaks to you (from the above Scripture) over and over, very gently and slowly. Let the word / phrase enter into you. Do this until you tire from it.

Step 4: "Oratio"
Begin a dialogue with God

A. Prayer of Repentance

B. Prayer of Intercession for others

C. Prayers of Thanksgiving

D. Prayers of Praise to God

E. Prayers of Self Surrender

Step 5: "Contemplatio"
This is God's Step when He takes over and you don't realize what is happening to you and lose track of the time. This is the final "letting go" which removes the last veil of the self.

More Angel Talk

After saying yesterday that I didn't want to read any cutesy "I met my angel" books, I now am going to tell a little story ... no, not about how I met my angel. That comes later. Ha! This is about my awareness of my angel.

I always have this sense that my angel is standing next to me with his hand on my right shoulder. I only notice this when I think about my guardian angel but don't know if it's "all in my head" or not. Although there was one time when my angel was gone. It was during last year's Holy Thursday evening Mass. It's complicated and I won't go into the story here but I knew Hannah was distraught, by herself, and that was not a good thing at that point. I was very upset at this and told my guardian angel to go look after her. I didn't think about that again (I was at Mass after all) until a few minutes later when I suddenly thought about that "order" and realized that I felt all alone. No "hand on the shoulder" presence around at all. This was very strange ... and maybe all in my head? I kept mentally "testing" ... is he back? No. Is he here? No. About 20 minutes later, I was not alone any more. So was I grateful? Heck no! I mentally ordered him back to watch over Hannah ... and got this feeling of "she didn't need me anymore." Naturally, when I checked with Hannah later that was about the time that Tom showed up and she was fine.

So enough about me, here is what few people much smarter than I say about guardian angels. These quotes are all from In Conversation with God: Lent and Eastertide.

... all the guardian angels will gather together at the universal judgment in order to bear witness themselves to the ministry that they exercised through God's command for the salvation of each man.

St. John Chrysostom, Catena Aurea

Just as fathers, when their sons have to travel among bad and dangerous roads, make sure they are accompanied by people who can guard them and defend them from danger, so in the same way does our heavenly Father, as we set out along this path that leads to our heavenly home. He gives each one of us an angel. He does this so that, strengthened by his power and help, we may be freed from the snares cunningly set by our enemies, and may repel the terrible assaults that they make on us. He wants us to walk straight along the path with such guides, so that no obstacle placed in our way by the enemy should turn us aside from the way that leads to heaven.

Catechism of the Council of Trent

The saints intercede for men. The guardian angels not only pray for men, but they carry out duties towards them. If intercession takes place through the blessed in Heaven, through the guardian angels there is both intercession and direct intervention; they are at the same time advocates for men before God and ministers of God before men.

G. Huber, My Angel Will Go Before You

Have confidence in your guardian angel. Treat him as a lifelong friend -- that is what he is -- and he will render you a thousand services in the ordinary affairs of each day.

Saint Escriva, The Way

We must learn to speak to the angels. Turn to them now; tell your guardian angel that these spiritual waters of Lent will not flow off your soul but will go deep, because your are sorry. Ask them to take up to the Lord your good will, which, by the grace of God, has grown out of your wretchedness like a lily grown on a dunghill.

Saint Escriva, Christ is passing by

Let's Talk Angels

I usually have some "mind's eye" angel thinking going on. During Mass I think about the fact that there are double the visible inhabitants, because we each have our guardian angel with us. I read somewhere that angels are always worshiping when the Host is consecrated ... I always have that mind's-eye vision of them prostrating themselves at that point. St. Josemaria Escriva always mentally greeted the guardian angel of the person and sometimes I do the same. It's a big deal to some to know their guardian angel's name. Although I now have enough of a sense of my angel not to care, I believe that his name popped into my head when my sponsor was telling me about her attempts to find out her angel's name. More important to me is to be sure to ask my guardian angel for guidance during the day ... according to St. Escriva, the more you "talk" to your angel, the more sensitive you are to any guidance.

I was fascinated by the entire concept of angels when I converted but wanted the real scoop ... not one of those cutesy "I met my angel" books that were popular at that time (2000). Wouldn't you know, Peter Kreeft (is there anything that guy can't write about?) has a wonderful book, Angels and Demons: What Do We Really Know About Them? Here is the quickest possible Angels 101 course from the first page of the book ...

O.K., so I'm browsing through this book and wondering: why should I buy it? What can you tell me about angels in one page?

1. They really exist. Not just in our minds, or our myths, or our symbols, or our culture. They are as real as your dog, or your sister, or electricity.


2. They're present, right here, right now, right next to you, reading these words with you.


3. They're not cute, cuddly, comfortable, chummy, or "cool." They are fearsome and formidable. They are huge. They are warriors.


4. They are the real "extra-terrestrials," the real "Supermen," the ultimate aliens. Their powers are far beyond those of all fictional creatures.


5. They are more brilliant minds than Einstein.


6. They can literally move the heavens and the earth if God permits them.


7. There are also evil angels, fallen angels, demons, or devils. These too are not myths. Demon possessions, and exorcisms, are real.


8. Angels are aware of you, even though your can't usually see or hear them. But you can communicate with them. You can talk to them without even speaking.


9. You really do have your very own "guardian angel." Everybody does.


10. Angels often come disguised. "Do not neglect hospitality, for some have entertained angels unawares" -- that's a warning from life's oldest and best instruction manual.


11. We are on a protected part of a great battlefield between angels and devils, extending to eternity.


12. Angels are sentinels standing at the crossroads where life meets death. They work especially at moments of crisis, at the brink of disaster -- for bodies, for souls, and for nations.

Stooping to Heaven

Of every other child that is born into the world, friends can say that it resembles his mother. This was the first instance in time that anyone could say that the mother resembled the Child. This is the beautiful paradox of the Child Who made His mother; the mother, too was only a child. It was also the first time in the history of this world that anyone could ever think of heaven as being anywhere else than "somewhere up there"; when the Child was in her arms, Mary now looked down to Heaven ...

... Because He was born in a cave, all who wish to see Him must stoop. To stoop is the mark of humility. The proud refuse to stoop and, therefore, they miss Divinity. Those, however, who bend their egos and enter, find that they are not in a cave at all, but in a new universe where sits a Babe on His mother's lap, with the world poised on His fingers ...

Only two classes of people found the Babe; the shepherds and the Wise Men; the simple and the learned; those who knew that they knew nothing, and those who knew that they did not know everything. He is never seen by the man of one book; never by the man who thinks he knows. Not even God can tell the proud anything! Only the humble can find God.

Life of Christ by Fulton J. Sheen

Spontaneity

I once read that the reason for the saying, "Scaredy cat" is that cats have to think things over before they act. When something startling happens they run to a safe place to think things over. I knew exactly how they felt. Not that I run away ... but I like to have things planned, organized, all figured out ... then something throws everything off and I have to have a moment (or several) to settle myself to this new reality before acting. So, I am definitely not spontaneous.

I am much better about it than I used to be. Having children and then teenagers imbues a certain amount of flexibility just for the sake of survival. However, the kids have been warned from time to time about my "cat-like" qualities. They know how to spring things on me ... or that if I am not reacting well, just to come back in about 5 or 10 minutes and I will be all calmed down.

After reading that, it wouldn't surprise you to know that I am always ahead of the blog (so to speak) on material. I have a bunch of saved posts, meditations, jokes, etc. When I come across them, they get tucked away into a safe corner for the right moment.

Last week, I suddenly started to get the feeling that I should be more spontaneous about all this ... the blogging. Ok. I can do that. Until Saturday morning when I had copied the selected Weekend Meditation out of the file. I went back for the joke and ... "What do you mean AN ENGINEER WILL CHECK ON THIS PROBLEM?" The file was gone ... all the quotes, all the meditations, all the jokes ... and me with 12 minutes left before my Lent timer went off. Aaaaargh!

It crossed my mind ... so am I being forced into spontaneity? Just as I thought that, an email came from Tom's dear Aunt CB. Lo and behold, a hilarious joke about a blonde on an airplane. Ok, message received. I can't abandon planning entirely. Those Bible studies take time. However, more "off the cuff" activity is gonna be at this URL.

After Yesterday's Thoughts on Temptation ...

... I came across this in The Word Among Us.

God wants to transform our lives, but it doesn't happen on its own. It's miraculous, not magical. Transformation comes as we take our small human efforts and mix them with faith in God's mighty power.

A good reminder for me as I am shocking myself with how easy it is to give in bit by bit, sliding into temptation. No wonder Lent calls us back to God; I am surely being shown how much help I need. But I must make my best effort as well as remembering to call on Him for help.

Temptation

I just love the fact that the Church knows so well what we are facing after the first few days of Lent ... temptation to give up our penance, to slide just a little. So the readings were about Adam and Eve giving in to temptation, and then Jesus resisting all the devil's blandishments in the desert. Today's meditation from In Conversation with God has some great insights about that very subject ... so I thought I'd drop them here for you. My special favorite is the first quote from Ronald Knox that makes me think of the devil as a very successful used car salesman ... which would be funny if it were not that I am so often gullible that I fall for his wiles.

The temptations of Our Lord are also the temptations of his servants individually. But the scale of them, naturally, is different; the devil is not going to offer you and me all the kingdoms of the world. He knows his market; offers, like a good salesman, just as much as he thinks his customer will take. I suppose he thinks, with some justice, that most of us could be had for five thousand a year, and a great many of us for much less. Nor does he, to us, propose his conditions so openly; his offer comes to us wrapped up in all sorts of plausible shapes. But, if he sees the chance he is not slow to point out to you and to me how we could get the thing we want if we would be untrue to our better selves, and not infrequently if we would be untrue to our Catholic loyalties.

Ronald Knox, Pastoral Sermons

He allows temptation, and uses it providentially to purify you, to make you holy, to detach you from the things of the earth, to lead you where He is and by the route he wants you to take, so as to make you happy I (in a life which may not be comfortable); so as to give you maturity, understanding and effectiveness in your apostolic work with souls, and ... above all, to make you humble, very humble.

S. Canals, Jesus as Friend

But do not forget, my friend, that you need weapons in this spiritual battle And your weapons have to be these: continuous prayer; sincerity and frankness with your spiritual director; the Holy Eucharist and the Sacrament of Penance; a generous spirit of Christian mortification which will bring you to flee from the occasion of sin and to avoid idleness; humility of heart and a tender and filial devotion to Our Lady, Comforter of the Afflicted and Refuge of Sinners.

S. Canals, Jesus as Friend

Our Next Vacation "Theme"

Montreal last summer turned out, quite unexpectedly, to have a Catholic basilica/cathedral/church theme as we visited at least one per day.

This summer my family will be having our first-ever reunion as my brother is now back in this country. We'll be gathering in Kansas City (Mo.) which is near where we spent most of our formative years. Actually, we grew up outside of Bonner Springs, but, believe me, KC is the much more entertaining choice and where we escaped to whenever possible.

I had forgotten until my sister mentioned it yesterday, that the Truman Presidential Library is near there. That perked up Tom's ears as he read a masterful book about Truman. My sister and I went on to reminisce about the time our grandparents took us to the Eisenhower Library in Abilene, KS. Truth to tell, the Truman Library just didn't have what it took to impress us after seeing the Eisenhower Library which also has all the WWII memorabilia. 'Nuff said. Tom is a huge Eisenhower fan and Abilene isn't that far out of our way on the way home. Plans have been made, itineraries made, routes mapped.

It looks as if this summer will be our "Presidential Library" theme vacation.

Sundays in Lent

This is something that I wondered about as a new Catholic. Do Sundays "count" during Lent? Do you get a day off from what you've "given up" or do you keep on going? Everyone had a different answer. Then Father Hamilton's mother came to him with the same question and Catholic Ragemonkeys wrote this article. Short answer, it's up to you ... but to know why, read the article.

Oh, My Humanity!

It's one thing to have lofty and wonderful thoughts about Lent. Then comes the reality of Ash Wednesday morning with the child who, "Oh, by the way..." is going to spend the night with a friend tonight and then "Did I mention...?" needs money, hasn't planned for being gone, etc. Add on my poor stressed husband with too much work he is valiantly trying to handle, volunteer work where no one is giving him any info to go from, and his mother whose rapidly failing memory is requiring immediate attention from all the sons. Let's stir in a BIG pile of work for me and that need/desire to catch up on everything (that choleric personality surfacing?).

Oh, the snappish-ness of my morning. All of which was withheld from public comment, although somewhat imperfectly. They know me too well and I didn't cover very well ... until I remembered what I had read this morning. (Did I remember to bring it to work so I could quote it? pffft! Of course not! I grabbed the wrong book.) Basically it said that anytime that we are irritated, angry, upset, want to strike out ... then the fault is not in others. The fault is in us because we are not close to Christ in that moment.

That really set me back on my heels. Not close to Christ. Well, that's what going into the desert is all about, isn't it? Oh, thanks so much, God, for plunging me in ASAP, making me actively seek Christ, making me think about it because of my tetchy mood. That would be the prayer that gets instantly answered. (His sense of humor again ... He cracks me up. And then I just have to laugh at myself.)

As We Gather Ourselves Together

Looking around St. Blog's you get the sense that something big is happening. For the last week or two a blogger here and a blogger there have been mentioning Lent, examining themselves for faults to amend or appropriate sacrifices to make, preparing themselves for the desert. It is almost upon us, this time of penance and sacrifice, and the posts are coming from all sides now. Where have I failed? What am I lacking? How can I prepare myself to please God, to meet Him in that spare, spartan ground of the Lenten desert? No one is bemoaning the need. No one is talking about that last splurge of Mardi Gras. We are past that. It is almost insignificant. Our heads are far beyond that ... we are preparing to go together, though separately, to meet God in the place where he met Abraham, Moses, Jesus ... the desert. I feel as if I am watching the scene from The Ten Commandments where the children of Israel are all gathering together with goats, sheep, children, carts to follow Moses out of Egypt. They went to seek their freedom and we go to seek ours. I love that feeling of togetherness, camaraderie, as everyone writes about preparing for Lent. This is a part of the body of Christ I have not been privileged to see before. Though I go separately to struggle with my self discipline, denial, and prayer, I am not alone. We will travel together like a flock of birds wheeling through the sky, twittering to each other ... in the desert.

What I'm Doing for Lent

GIVING UP
Spending so much time blogging and on the computer in general. In the past I've given up computer games altogether and that was tough, but I think that merely limiting my computer time will be more challenging. When I say that I'll be putting on the morning's entries and then spending just an hour both reading others' blogs and working on mine, you can see how much time I've been slipping into the computer. When I tell you that my severest critics, my family, totally accept this as Lenten penance that just emphasizes it. I'll be using a timer and stopping whatever I am doing exactly when it goes off ... now that's going to take discipline.

ADDING ON
I'll be saying the Angelus every day at noon. This is a habit I've always wanted to acquire and Lent is the perfect time to add it.

OUR FAMILY DEVOTION
We'll be saying a decade of the rosary together as a family during Lent. This is another habit that I've been wanting to add and one that Tom is amenable to, so now we're just trying to decide on the best time ... right after dinner or right between our ritual viewing of "The Simpsons" and going to bed. Both have pros and cons but whichever we choose I'm very excited about this one. Our family has not been in the habit of praying together except before dinner and I've been trying to figure out how to get some of that into our lives.

All of these are habits I hope to keep going after Lent ends. They are definitely going to take some leaning on Our Lord to accomplish for a variety of reasons. I'm excited about going into the desert this year!

King Kong (1933) — Holy Mackerel, What a Show!

This is one of my all-time favorite movies and a true classic in its own right. King Kong is a simple story: intrepid filmmaker, Carl Denham, leads an expedition to Skull Island where they discover a 50-foot gorilla who becomes enamored of Ann Darrow (Fay Wray). He is captured and brought back to New York City as the "8th wonder of the world" where he inevitably runs amuck with Ann clutched in one hand and meets his death atop the Empire State Building. The skill of the movie makers is such that we thoroughly enjoyed it some 70 years later. Fay Wray has a scream that could stop a freight train; you could hear it over practically anything that the movie threw at it. The animation was star quality at the time and though it put the girls forcibly in mind of the stop animation they've seen in such modern classics as Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, it soon was forgotten in watching Kong wrestle with a T-rex.

It also was fun watching with the girls because, as fanciful as this movie was, it opened the door on a bit of history. It is set during the Depression so Denham watches a line of women going to a soup kitchen in searching for his starlet. That made us talk about how all-pervading it was that it was a common setting for this movie. We suddenly realized that love interest "Jack" looked a lot like Harrison Ford and this made us wonder if girls would talk about seeing the movie again to watch this cutie. When it came to the scenes with the island natives, both girls were shocked at how they were negatively portrayed and talked about as a matter of course ... no matter what some may think, we've come a long way in racial equality. Rose loved the way that Carl Denham talked. It was clipped and forceful and full of corny phrases (like the title of this post which is what he said when peeking through the tall grass to see the natives' rituals).

Although terribly predictable, it was a lot of fun watching terror stricken sailors meet their demise in totally clueless ways ... tip: when running from a 60-foot-tall monster, do not climb a tree; then you're just at eye level and easy to pick off. Also, it was a howl watching a variety of herbivores sport sharp, pointy teeth and eat one sailor after another.

I had seen this several times but only on Saturday afternoon "Monster Movies" shows. I did not remember Kong squashing natives underfoot or casually tossing New Yorkers back like a handful of popcorn. We assumed that these sequences had been cut for commercial time but then I discovered this in one Amazon reviewer's comments:

Final Notes: This is the "restored" version of the film, but it still does not include the legendary scene when four crewmen who are shaken off the log by Kong fall into a ravine where they are eaten alive by giant spiders. When first previewed the scene stopped the movie cold and Cooper pulled it from the film. The scenes that were cut in the late 1930s and not restored until the 1970s were (a) where Kong pulls Ann's clothes off; (b) the shots of the Apatosaurus (nee Brontosaurus) biting the sailors; (c) Kong eating natives when he breaks through the gate; (d) Kong stepping on a native; (e) Kong biting a New Yorker after escaping from the theater; and (f) Kong grabbing the wrong woman from the hotel and throwing her to her death. It would be nice if they could find the spider sequence or any of the other bits we know were cut by Cooper before the film was released, but it is probably never going to happen.

The print quality is not very good but that didn't matter as we were caught up in the movie. It's a lot of fun and we wound up talking fondly about it the next day as well ... perfect for a family that wants something different.

Why Do I Read So Many Vampire Books?

SUNSHINE by Robin McKinley

Although it is true that I have read Dracula by Bram Stoker about ten times, it is not true that I have a special love for the vampire genre. It just seems that my favorite authors like to occasionally turn their hand to writing vampire tales. What I find interesting is that they all have very logical twists on why vampires act as they do, while spinning wonderful stories at the same time.

Such is the case with Sunshine by Robin McKinley. Sunshine is a young woman who bakes "cinnamon rolls as big as your head" for her family's coffeehouse in a post-Voodoo War world where humans fight for existence with other "races" such as demons, werewolves, vampires, angles, ghouls, incubui, etc. She is kidnapped by a vampire gang and chained in a decrepit ballroom as a snack for magnetic, half-starved Constantine, a powerful vampire whose enemy shackled him there to perish slowly from daylight and deprivation. They manage to escape and form an alliance to fight the enemy while escaping detection by human SOFs (Special Other Forces)... otherwise, of course, it would be a very short book.

This book is loaded with coffeehouse ambiance, food talk, vampire-human attraction, mystery solving, magic, and self discovery. Anyone who has ever read anything by Robin McKinley knows that her books also include a lot of talk, talk, talk. I enjoy it because I like her style but admit that if it doesn't grab you then you'll be bored to death. However, if you like Robin McKinley (Beauty, The Outlaws of Sherwood, and one of my all-time favorite books, The Blue Sword) then you will find this thoroughly enjoyable. [Warning: it does contain a couple of sex or almost-sex scenes ... nothing too graphic but I'm not going to be passing this one along to Hannah or Rose, at least any time soon.]

All Under Heaven

HERO
If you told me I would watch a Chinese kung fu movie and come out raving about how good it was, I would have said that you were raving. I really hated Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Hero is simply in another class. Everything is presented with such simplicity even when it turns out to have underlying levels of complexity. The use of color, music, wind, shimmering silk, water and even ink makes this a work of art. Even the kung fu scenes had an elegance and grace that kept me riveted. It made sense and that probably is the greatest compliment I can give it. By the end we were all riveted, wondering what choice Nameless would make.

If you see the movie be sure to remember this note from Jeffrey Overstreet when watching. I forgot but find that it adds resonance to bring the message beyond just applying to China and to applying to our lives as a whole.

Note: Near the end of the film, a character delivers an important message in two words—"Our land." In the Chinese version, there are actually three words—"All under heaven." Zhang Yimou changed it out of concern that it would not translate properly. Frankly, I prefer "All under heaven."

Cooperating with the Spirit

We all know that God wants to reveal himself to us through Scripture. But just like everything else in the Christian life, Scripture won't just magically make sense to us. It's up to us to cooperate with the Spirit as we read the Bible. And that takes some time, some attention, and some perseverance.

The following guidelines may help you cooperate with the Spirit. Try implementing them over the next few days and see if they make a difference.

• Select a passage from the Bible you want to read...


• Don't read right away but begin with prayer. If you feel like singing or even humming a hymn you heard at Mass, do it.


• When you feel ready, read the Scripture passage you have chosen.


• Slowly read it again, dwelling on the words or phrases that struck you.


• Use your imagination to place yourself in the scene described in this passage.


• Imagine that Jesus is sitting across from you and speaking these words directly to you.


• Be still. During this quiet period, some words or pictures may bubble up in your thoughts. This may be God speaking to you -- especially if the images and thoughts lead you closer to Christ, fill you with hope, or stir your heart to love and forgive.


• Try to write out what you think God is saying to you and close with a prayer of praise and thanksgiving.

God wants to reveal himself to us in Scripture. Only through quiet reflection will we learn to hear his voice.

The Word Among Us

Digging Around at the Vatican

THE BONES OF ST. PETER: A 1st Full Account of the Search for the Apostle's Body by John Walsh
This book was a chance recommendation by an acquaintance when I was at our church's St. Jude library. I'm really grateful as I never would have picked up this page-turner otherwise.

Workmen lowering a floor led to the discovery of tombs beneath the basilica. This began an archaeological search for the fabled bones of the apostle St. Peter which tradition held lay beneath the altar. Pope Pius XII had a natural interest in "modern science" and gave the four Vatican archaeologists permission to search as long as the altar itself wasn't disturbed and they said nothing to anyone about it. Once the grave was discovered the mystery continues with the search for St. Peter's bones. The series of circumstances that occur to hide them and then uncover them are like something fictional. Sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction.

The author has a real talent for communicating archaeological information in laymen's terms. It read like a first class detective story and I often found myself staying up way too late at night to see what was discovered next. Also fascinating was the wealth of information about Christian worship in Rome during the early centuries. This book may be difficult to find as the person who recommended it told me it is no longer being published in this country. That may account for the high price of used books I saw at the Amazon listing. Nevertheless, it is well worth seeking out.

Everybody's Doing It

Interesting Dallas Morning News article (free registration required) about Protestants using beads to pray, sometimes the actual rosary and sometimes variations of it adapted to their particular beliefs. I have to say that this quote by a Presbyterian minister made me laugh, "The rosary is not just a Roman Catholic thing," Ms. Moore said. "Praying with beads has been part of our tradition since the beginning of the church. We need to claim what is ours." Ummmm, sorry, but that "church" she mentions was entirely Catholic in the beginning. Ah, well ... at least they're getting the benefit of the meditation brought by praying rosary no matter what prayers they are using.

A couple of good website resources from the article to check out:
Ecumenical Miracle Rosary - Uses traditional rosary but wih different prayers
Rosary Center - All about the Roman Catholic rosary and praying it
Christian Rosary - written about the rosary for all Christians and does a good job of explaining that Catholics do not worship Mary.

Novels of The Company

The Company's real name is Dr. Zeus. They are a 24th-century operation devoted to getting rich off the past. The Company turns orphans and refugees from the past into highly intelligent, physically invincible cyborgs and sends them on missions to save or hide precious paintings, cultural treasures, and genetic information useful to the future world.

In the first book, In the Garden of Iden, 5-year old Mendoza is rescued from the Spanish Inquisition by a company operative. After undergoing training and a series of surgeries to turn her into a cyborg, Mendoza is reunited with her rescuer, Joseph, and sent on a mission to Elizabethan England to rescue rare plants before they become extinct. Once there, she falls in love with Nicholas who has a secret of his own. He is a Protestant in Catholic England.

Sky Coyote is told from Joseph's point of view in 1699 when he is reunited with Mendoza for a mission. They must save an ancient people from encroachment by the coming white men by convincing the entire pre-Columbian village to step into the future. Most interesting in this book is our first view of people from the future who are afraid of real food, nature, the cyborgs, and insist on political correctness at all costs.

Mendoza in Hollywood finds Mendoza with a team in California during the Civil War. Everything is pretty routine except for a strange anomaly nearby when the doppelganger of Mendoza's lost love comes by. He's a British spy and that is not a good thing.

The Graveyard Game is told largely from Lewis' point of view. Mendoza has been missing for some time and he and Joseph are trying to discover what is going on. The plot thickens when they discover other cyborgs are missing and a seeming conspiracy of the future people to shut the immortals down.

Black Projects, White Knights is a collection of short stories about The Company operatives throughout time as they have encounters with famous people and try to recover "lost" treasures. It fills in a few of the blanks in The Company's history while adding to the mystery about Nicholas. The character of Alec Checkerfield is introduced here who I believe is the main character of the newest Company book, The Life of the World to Come.

Somewhat surprisingly, as I am such a fan of this series, I do not find Mendoza a very attractive character. I much prefer Joseph and Lewis and, therefore, the novels told from their viewpoints. However, no matter who is narrating, the intrigue and suspense are riveting as the "immortals" move through time closer to the date beyond which no news comes back. Baker is a master at weaving complex tales that leave you on the edge of your seat. She also has a wonderful sense of humor and talent for making the past come alive believably. I imagine she did quite a bit of research especially for the earlier books. Highly recommended.

Are Your Prayers Answered?

We always are told that our prayers are answered but sometimes God says, "No." This is probably the best and most complete answer I have ever seen as to why that "No" might be ... it is because the fault is within ourselves.

Jesus assures us emphatically that if we seek, we shall find (not just perhaps); if we ask, it will be given to us; if we knock, it will be opened (Mt 7:7-8). Yet, you will may wonder, what are we to think of the petitions we make that do not seem answered?

Several observations are in order. First of all, the Lord is supposing that the normal situation, namely, that we are praying as we ought to pray. There are conditions to be fulfilled -- as is normal in other human relationships as well. The first one is that we seek before all else our greatest good and the genuine welfare of others. If that is lacking, what else matters? Scripture teaches us plainly that if we seek the Lord with all our heart and all our soul, we shall find him (Deut 4:29). Saints always find God, and in finding him they obtain everything else they need. the psalmist tells us to be sure that the Lord does wonders for his faithful ones (Ps 4:3, JB). So we need to ask: Am I faithful? The New Testament insists that whatever we ask for we will receive because we keep his commandments and live the kind of life God knows is best for us (1 Jn 3:22). Are you and I living that kind of life?

The second and third conditions for our prayers to be answered are included in the first one. Namely, we are to ask with full trust in the Lord (Jas 1:5-8), and we are to seek the right things, what is best for ourselves and for others (Jas 4:2-3). We are to put first things first and ask for genuine goods.

One further question: Suppose we ask for the conversion of a sinner, surely a good and holy petition, and yet he does not give up the wrongdoing or does not return to the Church? What has happened? Has God answered this prayer? Yes, indeed. He has given the transgressor all the graces he needs for a complete conversion; the Lord has responded to the prayer. Yet he leaves the sinner free to use the graces given or not to use them. God forces himself on no one. St. Monica, the mother of the tremendous Augustine, prayed for twenty years for the conversion of her son. The Holy Spirit was working on his mind and heart for two decades (thus responding to the mother's tears and petitions), and when her son finally said a complete Yes, he was mightily converted, not only to the state of grace, but eventually to the very heights of heroic holiness and the transforming union of prayer. Worthy prayers are indeed answered.

Prayer Primer, Thomas Dubay, S.M.

This Conservative Sister Likes That Progressive Brother's Attitude

I have changed the name of what was once "Progressive Catholic Blogs" and expanded it. It is now "Catholic Blogs," and it includes thirty blogs instead of the previous fifteen. I've added a number of moderate and conservative weblogs. Why the name change, and why the addition of moderates/conservatives? Am I flip-flopping again? No, I've become quite comfortable being a progressive/orthodox Catholic. I've changed the name of this section and expanded it to include a more diverse selection because I feel that, despite our many differences, we are still one Church. We have differences on a number of things -- everything from gay marriage to female priests to life issues. Despite these differences, I do believe that what unites us is greater than what divides us, because what unites us is a common Catholic Christian belief in Jesus Christ, and a common Catholic Christian Eucharist. What division can overcome this unity? So, even though I am quite comfortable with my own progressive Catholic faith, which is at its core still orthodox despite the claims of others, I do consider my moderate and conservative brothers and sisters as just that -- my brothers and sisters. We bicker, and at times it even gets ugly, but we can never change the fact that we are one Mystical Body of Christ, one People of God, one Church.

Nathan at Fides, Spes, Caritas, as a self-declared progressive Catholic is someone who I don't agree with a lot of the time. However, I've gotta go with him on this one ... what unites us is so much greater than what divides us. It was something that I have always remembered from reading All the Pope's Men. John Allen, while writing in the finest nonjudgmental journalistic style, repeatedly reminded readers that, whether liberal or conservative, we are all passionate because we love God and His Church and want to do right by it.

I have also learned that from Talmida whose honesty and passion I find just as inspirational as I find many of her views infuriating (I can say that because I'm fairly sure she'd say the same about me ... it's that love/hate thing going on!). She is the only person I have had a debate with who has stopped and said that I probably was right but she realized she just didn't want to admit it. I can't tell you how much I admire that ability to reexamine your position and then admit it. Total honesty. Wow.

I was just bringing that point up to my girls the other day. They are just the age to have liberal- or conservative-bashing break out on either side of discussions in the cafeteria. That reminder of our common love of Christ puts a human face on all my brothers and sisters whether I agree with them or not. Good on you, Nathan!

Traits of Biblical Prayer, Part II

[continued from Traits of Biblical Prayer, Part I]

Another combination that no Aristotle, no Plato, no Socrates, no oriental master has been able to conceive is the glorious interweaving of an awesomely vivid and reverent appreciation of God's endless power, might, and majesty together with a touching and tender familiarity we may have with him. Infinitely mighty though he be, this Lord is always caring and loving -- even to the extent of the appalling scene of the crucifixion.

If you or I had composed a book of prayer with no help from revelation, we would have made it I/me-centered. We would have been its focus and center of gravity. But biblical prayer has it right: it is rightly and utterly God-centered, while at the same time it shows the Lord tenderly caring for us as the apple of his eye. What could present so beautiful a picture as that of the father running to meet his returning prodgal son with a hug and a tender kiss? Then, too, while the psalmist is filled with awe at the wonders of creation, he is struck even more with the beauty of the divine Artist. Consequently, he overflows with ecstatic delight. we have here combined supreme optimism and entire realism.

Finally, who of us would have thought of prayer becoming continual and yet at the same time leaving us free to give unhindered attention to other people and to our work? Thus it becomes when the faithful reach the summit, the transforming union.

Prayer Primer, Thomas Dubay, S.M.

Next up in the prayer series (which I really didn't intend but find myself drawn to) will be "Are Your Prayers Answered?"

Traits of Biblical Prayer, Part I

[continued from Biblical Prayer Themes, Part VI]

... no other religion, oriental or occidental, begins to compare in its account of human relating to the divine with the elegance, splendor, and richness we find in Sacred Scripture. The magnificence of this inspired description of prayer is, of course, part and parcel of the whole splendor of the trinitarian plan of salvation. We can therefore summarize some of the overall traits of the scriptural account.

Our twelve types of prayer combine characteristics that no merely human minds have come close to conceiving, let alone implementing. On the one hand, there is tremendous, even unspeakable joy, love, delight, a huge optimism, and, on the other hand, all of this is happily and confidently related to our weakness, sinfulness, suffering, pain, and failures. No other literature produced by our human race has been so real, so encouraging, so healing, so utterly satisfying to sincere and thoughtful men and women.

Prayer Primer, Thomas Dubay, S.M.

[Traits of biblical prayer to be continued...]

My "Aha!" Moment from Yesterday

i know there are *sandpaper* people and *velvet* people in our lives - from a devotional i read many years ago that has stuck with me.

the sandpaper people are used to sand away your rough spots, as in polishing a diamond. they are irritating, annoying, there for good reason.

the velvet people (like my friends, here) are in your life because their words are soothing. make you feel better, feel loved.

while neither is more important than the other, both are extremely necessary for our growth.

martha, martha said this in her comments box yesterday and I'm putting in in my "quotes journal" ... too true ... thanks, p!

Prevailing Against Temptation

You say you cannot believe that temptations against the faith and the Church come from God. But whoever told you that they did? He can send darkness, helplessness, can keep you tied to your perch, can lead you into dereliction, and strip you of all strength, can upset your spiritual digestion and make your inner mouth taste bitter so that the sweetest wine in the world turns to gall; but suggestions of blasphemy, infidelity, unbelief -- oh, no, these can never come from our merciful God: he is too pure to conceive such ideas.

Shall I tell you what part God plays in this? He allows the evil maker of lies to come and offer us these forgeries for sale, so that by despising them we may prove our affection for divine things. And are we to get anxious about it and change our attitude? O no, never, never! It is the devil who is roaming all round our soul, spreading confusion and prying to see whether he cannot find some door open somewhere. that is what he did to Job, to Saint Anthony, Saint Catherine of Siena, and an infinite number of good sould that I know, and to my own soul which is good for nothing and which I do not know. Well now, are we to be put out by all this? Let him kick his heels outside, and keep all the doors and windows tightly shut: he will get tired of it in the end, and if he does not, God will make him raise the siege. Remember what I told you once before: it is a good sign that he should be making so much noise and raising such a tempest in this matter of your will, for it is a sign that he has not got in.

St. Francis de Sales via Magnificat

Rebuilding Again and Again

As a house ages, it begins to show the wear and tear of years and years of use and daily life. The paint is chipped, the doors and windows perhaps dirty and a bit rough to use. This is much like our faith life as we mature and become adults, the wear and tear of daily life and maturing begin to wear on us. We become dirty with sin as we are constantly misled in life or we make the wrong decisions, decisions that do not please God. Our faith in God lags and often times disappears almost entirely. We favor the life and worldly experiences over God and our faith experience with him.

It is only at this point in a house's life that it is renovated, made new again. It must essentially be torn down, in part or in whole, and made new again. A renovated house looks new again; it might be better than the original, updated and modern, while still maintaining the best elements of the old house. This house renovation is much like our faith life; our faith life has been so destroyed or harmed, it must be torn down to its bare bones and rebuilt again, to become even stronger and more beautiful than before.

John B. at The Catholic Packer Fan reflects on the need for continual renovation of our souls. After much lecturing by our Honors Biology Student, it occurs to me that this is similar to our physical renovation. Our skin cells replace themselves every day ... yep, totally new. Our bones are constantly being rebuilt and have been totally replaced within a 7-year period. If this is necessary for my physical self, then why would it not be necessary for my soul? Just as I absolutely detest exercise but must do it for good health, so also do I detest the stripping down and rebuilding of my faith ... but God does it for my own good, just like that daily exercise.

Rose Has Chosen ... and It is Blue

Rose loves music and craves an iPod. She has a lot of money in her savings account and pulled out enough to combine with Grandma's Christmas money to buy herself the iPod of her dreams ... a blue mini, with free engraving on the back and free shipping (thank you student discount!). You wouldn't believe how many of Hannah's and Rose's friends have had iPods ... all given by their parents. We wonder what those kids have to look forward to later when all their wishes are fulfilled so quickly. It just makes me even prouder that Rose did not expect one to be given to her and didn't begrudge paying for it herself. She also will be the only person I know with a blue one ... that's my individualistic girl!

Sounds Like Faith to Me

I believe, but I cannot prove, that all life, all intelligence, all creativity and all "design" anywhere in the universe, is the direct or indirect product of Darwinian natural selection.

Richard Dawkins of Oxford University, January 4, 2005 NY Times article

"I believe, but I cannot prove..."

Beg pardon? That sounds as if this famous Darwinian is taking evolution on faith. Ok, I can live with that but then stop sounding as if evolution is a proven fact with no loopholes. All we're asking for is a little consistency please.

Got it from Suspend Your Disbelief.

Huh?

Hannah was at a birthday party Saturday night and the talk turned to parents as it often does (watch out ... your teenagers are busy discussing and comparing all the time). Hannah's friends suddenly were all in agreement that Tom and I are very cool and they'd move in with us in a second. (They say that because they don't live here, believe me!) I take this as a great compliment because a bunch of 16-year-olds will cut you down to size in a second (at least to their friends because these kids are all polite).

Rose is dumbfounded by this sudden status. She keeps saying, "They have met Mom and Dad, haven't they?

Yeah, I don't get it either because they have met us. We are the usual, uncool, overweight, graying, rule enforcing, stick-in-the-mud parents. Tom is the one who suddenly sees a connection between a school story and the Russian revolution and delivers a world history lesson at dinner ... or who goes and gets the Oxford English dictionary so we can all talk about the roots of a certain word. I am the "on fire" Catholic convert mom who makes everyone pray before dinner and then tells little Padre Pio parables to the philosophy-crazy, not-sure-if-he-believes-in-God boy having dinner with us. Or the one who suddenly stops and gives a lecture on keeping your virginity to a kitchen full of girls who are just getting a snack (you can imagine the story they were telling to make me suddenly deliver that little bomb).

The only thing that we can figure is we are interested in these kids and enjoy talking to them. We treat them as people who mean something to us. It's nice that they recognize that on some level. And it's sad that they don't get it in enough other places.

Biblical Prayer Themes, Part V

[continued from Biblical Prayer Themes, Part IV]

10. Delighting and rejoicing. The community of both Testaments, Old and New alike, is remarkable in how frequently it expresses the intense joy the faithful are routinely expected to experience in the course of their daily lives. They seem to know nothing of boredom. This delight is mentioned over and over again in the psalter and in the prayer life of the Church. Our hearts and our flesh are to thrill with gladness in the living God as we sing alleluias to him as the very source of the thrilling (Ps 84:2). We exult in this Lord and in his marvels (Ps 9:1-16; 40:5; 75:1), and this we do with endless shouts of exultation and triumph (Ps 5:11, 20:5). With the exception of the Lenten season the Church through the year repeats in her daily liturgies these shouts of alleluia.

11. The sound of music. As though all this were not enough, both the inspired word and the contemporary Church elicit the resources of musical talents and instruments. As one of our recent popes remarked, echoing St. Augustine, they who sing pray twice. All this God's people did with gusto. They sang the wonders the Lord had wrought in salvation history (Ps 105:1-5). Their prayer was expressed with music sounding to their King (Ps 47:1, 5-6; 57:7-9; 59:16-17). At least on one occasion they set aside timidity in their celebrations: they praised the transcendent greatness of God with lyre and harp, strings and reeds, the beating of drums and the clashing of cymbals -- and yes, with dancing, too, in praise of his name. For example, David and the community "danced before Yahweh with all their might, singing to the accompaniment of lyres, harps, tambourines, castanets, and cymbals: (2 Sam 6:5; Ps 87:7; 149:3; 150:1-6). Nothing dreary and dull here. Perhaps they were praying three or four times!

12. Amen! In Greek, Latin, and Hebrew, "amen" meant "yes indeed, certainly, so may it be." And so our last words here are reserved to Jesus and his Mother. Both insisted on the identification of their and our wills with that of the Father: "Our Father ... Your will be done ..." and "Let it be done to me according to your word." Yes, amen: let your will be done. So be it. Identifying our will with the divine will is the veryheart of sanctity. And the more perfect the identification, the more lofty the holiness. Both the transforming union in contemplative prayer and the practice of heroic virtue (there is an intercausality between these two traits of perfect sanctity) involve complete identification with the divine will.

The single word "amen" is an affirmation of what God positively wills or of his permitting something to occur (for a still greater good). It reminds us of St. Francis de Sales remarking that if we knew all that God knows, we would will to happen exactly what does happen (see also Rom 8:28). Amen, the conclusion of many prayers in the Church's liturgy, is a proclamation of the all-knowing wisdom of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. (For more on this variety of biblical prayer, see CCC 2623-49.)

Prayer Primer, Thomas Dubay, S.M.

My Conversion Story

BECOMING CHRISTIAN
My parents are atheists so there was no religion in our home. They never tried to prejudice us against religion, they just never talked of it. It was kind of like talking about sex ... it was the unspoken rule that you just didn't mention religion. As issues came up, we were taught to be good people in the morality of popular culture … work hard and do your best, be honest, don’t steal, cheat or lie. We learned that a lot of other issues were all relative. As long as you didn't hurt other people or break the law what you did was your own business. Of course, even though they never talked about it, we all knew that those boring church-goers were weak because they needed a crutch like religion to get by.

During our early married life neither Tom or I gave God much thought. We were just living our lives. And then God used what we cared about most to get our attention.

Hannah had a terrible teacher in public school and nothing we tried solved the problem so halfway through kindergarten we switched her to St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic School. Her religion teacher asked all the kids who went to Mass every Sunday. Almost all the kids raised their hands. Hannah didn't. Mrs. McDaniel told those children that they needed to go home and tell their parents that they should be going to Mass every week. Dutifully Hannah passed the message. There is no one for knowing black from white and "yes" from "no" like a kindergartener. She didn't buy our feeble excuses and started quoting her religion lessons to us. Pretty soon we were attending weekly Mass at St. Thomas.

Tom is Catholic but he hadn't attended church in a long time. I wasn't even sure if there was a God. How are you ever really sure? Most of the “proof” anyone ever offered seemed an awful lot like coincidence to me. But, I couldn't sit there week after week listening to Father B. without starting to wonder … is there a God or not?

I was so clever, I figured out a sure fire way to find out. (I'll just say here that I am thankful God protects fools because looking back I can't believe I had such nerve!) About a year before, we had tried everything to sell our house. Even though the realtor said everything was just right and there should have been no problem, no one would even make an offer. So, kneeling at Mass one day, I made God a deal. All He had to do was to get a me a new house as a sign. Then I’d know He was there … and I’d have a new house.

Of course, nothing happened. Except, that because I had made that deal I found myself listening more carefully at Mass and thinking even more. After about a year had gone by, when we were kneeling at Mass one Sunday, I told God the deal was off. I didn't need proof. It wasn't because of any dramatic feeling or discovery. I just didn't have a reason not to believe anymore so I went ahead and took His existence on faith.

That week our new accountant found major errors in the past three years' taxes that gave us a huge refund ... $11,000 ... enough for a down payment on a new house, new furniture and some remodeling. In a time when houses were being bought within days of going on the market, we found a house that had been sitting on the market for months for no apparent reason … except it was perfect for us and the price just been lowered to exactly the amount we could afford. Two weeks after that our house was sold without ever going on the market ... to a girl who was determined to have a house with our exact specifications, only within a six block area that we were right in the middle of. All the realtors and the people at the title company individually marveled at how smooth and fast things went on the sale of our old house and the purchase of our new one. They all said they had never seen anything like it.

I don't believe in coincidence any more.

BECOMING CATHOLIC
Now I had faith but I didn't see any reason to become Catholic. Hannah and Rose had their First Communions and Tom went to confession and started taking communion again. I didn't mind sitting in the pew until they got back. But, over time, whenever everyone went for communion I developed a yearning for the Eucharist that became an actual physical ache. This went on for months. A few weeks before Easter I decided I’d better find out how to become Catholic because I couldn't stand it any more. I couldn't believe it when I found out I would have to wait about a year before completing RCIA and entering the Church the next Easter. That was the longest year of my life, although I found RCIA to be an interesting spiritual journey in itself ... which I did not expect. I think it is funny that I am such a reader (and have been my whole life) but God chose to reach me in a way that was totally outside books at all.

Finally it was the Easter Vigil of 2000, the wonderful day when I was Catholic and could have the Eucharist. I love it. I love the traditions, I love the saints, I love the Eucharist … I love being Catholic. (That was about 6 years after I told God I believed in Him.)

And God blessed me that day in a way that I will never forget.

When I was kneeling after Communion I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked up to see my father-in-law smiling at me as he walked toward the altar. He had not been to communion since the 1960s when Vatican II changes made him so mad that he turned his back on the Church altogether. Tom’s devout mother and his aunts had been praying for many, many years for his return to the faith so I was thrilled to see him take communion. His sister, Tom’s aunt, was my sponsor and she hissed in my ear, “Has he been to confession?” I was so happy I just said, “That’s between him and God. Let it go.”

Later Tom’s mother said that my father-in-law told her that if I had decided to become Catholic it was because I had thought about it thoroughly and knew it was the right thing to do. That was when he decided to come back to the Church. And, yes, he had been to confession. He had carefully planned to have his return to communion be at my confirmation. He had gone before they left Houston. For my father-in-law to show such total respect of my decision to become Catholic by rethinking his faith was overwhelming. Even more overwhelming was the realization that God had used my conversion not just for my good but to reach someone close to me ... and I had been totally unaware of it.

One of the things that made my conversion so powerful to me in retrospect is that it was done without any reading or influence from outsiders at all. This was all just between God and me. No one else's opinion was even solicited as I really didn't talk about that sort of thing. (I know a bunch of people probably wish I was still that way!) One of my confirmation gifts was a book by Scott Hahn that started me down a whole new path of reading. I had no idea anyone wrote books about this stuff! I devoured Scott Hahn, Peter Kreeft, Francis Sheed, books about the saints, everything I could get my hands on ... and so on to the CRHP retreat and so on to Happy Catholic ... and here I am today, waiting to see where He's gonna take me next on this wild, but very interesting ride.

Living Psalm 23

Happy Catholic - chipper blog
Scattershot Direct sidebar listing

I read this last week at M'Lynn's (Scattershot Direct) and cracked up. I just do not think of myself as chipper.

i happen to be a big fan of the Happy Catholic. she is way too happy for me, however, because i worry so danged much about everything.
martha, martha

Then I read this in a comments box (at Scattershot Direct) and cracked up again. It also made me start thinking. For most of my life I have been a "glass is half empty" girl. Always quick to see the negatives of any situation ... oh, and even more attractive, quick to dwell on those negatives. But these two, who I respect a lot, had the impression of me as always cheerful, "chipper" if you will. Interesting. Was that just how I presented myself on the blog or was it true? If so, I would have changed a lot.

A couple of days later it was Friday and I figured out I had to work on Saturday. Driving home after picking up the kids at school, I told them. We were talking about how the day would divide up chore-wise, etc. I said that it wasn't as bad as it could be. For instance, what if I was a regular working mom? This might happen a lot, or I couldn't pick them up from school at 3:30. Hannah, knowing about my "rep" on Scattershot, looked at me and said, "Mom, you sound awfully Happy!" I stopped, looked at her and said, "Oh my gosh. I was being chipper wasn't I!" All three of us collapsed into gales of laughter.

Oops! Caught in the act. Maybe it is true. I am a Happy Catholic. Or to be more accurate, I am joyful. Like anyone else I get frustrated, overwhelmed, stressed out ... but under it all is my great joy and gratitude to God for bringing me so far. I do what I can to improve myself but I look back at my life and see God nudging me here and there ... teaching me lesson after lesson and moving me slowly (very slowly) toward grace.

I got a real reminder of just how far I have come when I was doing that Saturday work at the office, realizing that I actually was serene about spending practically all day there. Suddenly I was stabbed in the pit of my stomach with a physical feeling of bitter, angry, overwhelming resentment at having to work on the weekend, giving up my time for this. It's hard to describe but that feeling was familiar ... much as I hate to admit it. I recognized it from other times in my life. As quickly as I recognized it, I thought that I was not giving in to that and shoved it away ... and it was instantly gone. I really believe I was "allowed" to feel that so I could appreciate just how far God has brought me.

That evening I read Psalm 23 in the Compline. Though I have a bad habit of skimming over the really familiar psalms I was suddenly interested in reading this translation to see how it compared with the familiar King James version. I read every line slowly.

O Lord, you are my shepherd;
I shall not want.
You make me lie down
In green pastures.
You lead me beside still waters.
You restore my soul.
You lead me in paths of righteousness
For your name's sake.
Even though I walk
Through the darkest valley,
I fear no evil;
For you are with me;
Your rod and your staff --
They comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
In the presence of my enemies;
You annoint my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy
Shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I shall dwell in your house, O Lord,
My whole life long.

How can I describe that sudden illumination? One of those God-things. All I know is that I suddenly felt that psalm had been written for me ... it was describing me exactly. Every line, every word. It is exactly right ... exactly how my life is. I have been pulled out of the dark valley of jealousy, anger, gossip, pettiness ... into the light of the Lord. There are still some crevices and rocks that haven't seen light yet but He is slowly and surely changing everything. No wonder I seem happy, have joy. I am being remade into the person He knows I can be.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.

Praise Him.

Why Do They Hate Pope Pius XII So?

First there were the error-riddled books saying that he did not stand up to the Nazis. The latest accusation is that the Vatican gave orders during WWII that Jewish children being cared for by the Church should be baptized and not returned to their families. However, as might be expected, this is far from the truth. Via Santificarnos comes this Zenit report on the errors and truth of the situation. Go read the whole thing.

In August 1946, some French bishops and, specifically, Coadjutor Archbishop Emile Guerry of Cambrai and Cardinal Pierre Gerlier of Lyon, asked nuncio Roncalli for pointers as to how to resolve the situation of Jewish children saved from Nazi persecution ...

Journalist Andrea Tornielli told ZENIT that the Church in France resolved the problem in the vast majority of cases by returning the children, whose lives it saved, to their surviving families.

During the war, priests and religious received orders from the Holy See and bishops not to baptize these children. Baptism requires the consent of the person receiving the sacrament or of the parents, if the recipient does not have the use of reason. This is revealed in documents quoted by www.vaticanfiles.net.

Work as Prayer

He chooses us where we are, and leaves us -- the majority of Christians, lay people -- just where we were: in our family, in our own job, in the cultural or sports associations that we belong to ... so that in the very environment in which we are found we should love him and make him known through family ties, through relationships at work and among friends. From the moment that we decide to make Christ the centre of our lives, everything we do is affected by that decision. We must ask ourselves whether we are consistent with what it means to turn our work into a vehicle for growing in friendship with Jesus Christ, through developing our human and supernatural virtues in it.

God calls us, having put us in our own environment and our own profession. But he wants our work to be different from now on: You are writing to me in the kitchen, by the stove. It is early afternoon. It is cold. By your side, your younger sister -- the last one to discover the divine folly of living her Christian vocation to the full -- is peeling potatoes. To all appearances -- you think -- her work is the same as before. And yet, what a difference there is! It is true: before, she only peeled potatoes -- now she is sanctifying herself peeling potatoes. (St. Escriva, Christ is passing by) ...

We must fix all our attention on the Son of God made Man as he works [in Joseph's workshop], and ask ourselves very often, what would Jesus do in my place? How would he do my work? The Gospel tells us that He has done all things well, (Mark 7:37) with human perfection without the least carelessness. All of this means working with a spirit of service towards our neighbors, with order, serenity and intensity of concentration. He would have had orders ready on time. He would have lovingly put the finishing touches to his craftsmanship, thinking of the pleasure of the customers when they would receive his simple but perfect work. He would have been tired ... Jesus also carried out his work with full supernatural effectiveness, because at the same time, through the work, He was carrying out the redemption of mankind, united to his Father by love and for love, united to men also through love for them. What we do out of love becomes a serious commitment for us, and is charged with meaning.

In Conversation with God: Ordinary Time Weeks 1-12

Biblical Prayer Themes, Part IV

[continued from Biblical Prayer Themes, Part III]

9. Loving contemplative immersion As we shall explain farther on, our Christocentric contemplation is a divinely given growth in mental prayer, given when we are ready, not before. It is a superior way of communing with God, a way that goes beyond images, concepts, and words. When it grows normally, it becomes deep, beautiful, intimate, love-filled. It is completely given by God, and so we call it infused contemplation. More details later. For now we will explain how the biblical message charmingly speaks of this kind of communing with the Lord.

We should observe that this inspired account does not mention ideas and words, for this new communing cannot be expressed verbally. Scripture calls it the "one thing", the most important human activity, namely, gazing on the beauty and loveliness of the Lord (Ps 27:4). It is living through love in the diving presence (Ps 21:6); Eph 1;4). At dawn we hold ourselves open to receive from the Lord (Ps 5:3; 92:2). We taste how good he is, the biblical way of saying that we experience for ourselves the very goodness of God (Ps 34:8-10), and we drink from the divine river of delight. We do not have to reason and think ideas: we receive his joy in a wordless way. This can also be expressed by our being quiet and experiencing that he is the Lord of all (Ps 46:10). Sts. Paul and Peter explain that we then pray so deeply that words cannot describe the experience (Rom 8:26; 1 Pet 1;8).

Not surprisingly, in this prayer we are transformed from one glory to another (2 Cor 3:18). We rest in God, our sole ultimate fulfillment, a fulfillment that begins here in this life (Ps 62:1-2, 5-7). The psalmist speaks of pining with love for God and finding in him his sole delight, the surpassing joy of being close to his God (Ps 73:25-26, 28). As we grow toward this loving immersion we are more and more sharing in and reliving Jesus' habitual and long periods of solitude, being absorbed in the Father through their common love, the Holy Spirit (Mk 1:35; Lk 6:12; 5:16, and so on).

Prayer Primer, Thomas Dubay, S.M.

[Varieties of biblical prayer themes to be continued...]