It's My Fault, Because I'm Their Father ...

It's a hard thing to learn that you're not half the father you thought you were.

Nothing ever seems to be good enough for my son though; and my daughter seems to always complain that I love him more. And it's my fault because they're my children.

I think if my kids were to ever end up homeless, living on a street and eating at the shelter, my son would be the one at the table complaining about the quality of the soup and my daughter would be complaining that he had a bigger bowl than she did. And it's my fault because they're my children.

Local sportscaster Dale Hansen writes a surprising column with insights that many parents today might want to read as a cautionary note. He regrets being indulgent with gifts but not giving enough time ... especially when seeing how it affected the adults that his children became.

He is a public personality and so it is also a public apology. If his children are the way he says, and from the latest news I have seen featuring his son, I don't see any reason to doubt it ... then I don't envy the scene at his home for Christmas this year. Sometimes that's what happens when you tell it like it is though.

Pittsburgh news will come next week

I was all set to get down to brass tacks on the whole Pittsburgh thing last Friday ... and then, of course, that was put out of my mind by tragedy.

As this week is Christmas and we are all busy I will beg your indulgence once more. As well, I need a little more recovery time to work up a full head of steam for my enthusiasm once again. All shall be revealed next week! I promise!

Mother Teresa: Choosing to believe despite the darkness

I have long meant to share some of the sections from Mother Teresa's Secret Fire (discussed here) that have really spoken to me. This one is so well put that it essentially sums up Mother Teresa's dark night of the soul. Those who care to read more about that might be interested in this review of Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light. However, for those who do not wish to delve to that extent, this section of the book is enlightening. Here's a bit.

But before we move on to explore the secrets of Mother Teresa's interior life, we first need to be sure not to misconstrue her "darkness" -- a darkness God allowed her to experience as a share in the inner night of Calcutta's poorest of the poor. Mother Teresa was wounded with the inner wounds of her people; she bled with them and died with them. God was calling her to share the heavy, if forgotten, inner burdens of the poor, not only their material deprivation. She was to be fixed to the hidden inward cross of the poor, and to be riven by the same interior anguish that Jesus himself had undergone.

But painful as her darkness was, theirs was the true night, the darkness that eats away at faith. In Mother Teresa's time, millions of Calcutta's street population drew their dying breath under the dusty feet of passersby, after having spend an entire existence deprived of any human evidence of a loving God. This was a tragedy not of God's making, but man's -- yet one that burdened not man's heart, but God's. This was the ultimate sense of Mother Teresa's dark night, borne in the name of her God and her poor.

But what of reports that suggested that Mother Teresa had undergone a crisis of faith, or worse, that her smile and her devotion to God and neighbor were little more than hypocrisy? Emphatically, Mother Teresa's dark night was not a "crisis of faith," nor did it represent a wavering on her part. Far from being a loss of faith, her letters reveal instead her hard-fought victory of faith, the triumph of faith's light that shines even in the darkness, for "the darkness has not ovecome it" (Jn 1:5).

The same letters that recount her darkness at the feeling level (not at the level of faith) testify, too, to her unshakable belief, even when she no longer sensed God's presence. Her letters reveal a supreme, even heroic exercise of faith at its zenith, free of dependence on circumstance or feelings. She consistently chose to believe, refusing to turn away from a brilliance once beheld, simply because clouds had covered her inner sky. No matter how long the hours of her night, never once did she suspect that the sun existed no more. Even in the deepest night of her inner Calcutta, she kept her course towards the Day Star, and never lost her way. ...

Mother Teresa's trial of faith is not without precedence in Christian tradition, nor without parallels in Scripture. Recall Jesus' challenge to the Canaanite woman, who, after begging that he cure her daughter, was seemingly rebuffed in the harshest terms. In both cases, Jesus used what appeared to be rejection in order to draw out the fullness of their faith, precisely by challenging that faith to the maximum. Jesus gave each one the chance to surmount his challenges one by one and to stand triumphant as a model for the rest of us. His appreciation of the Canaanite woman could have been addressed just as easily, two thousand years later, to Mother Teresa: "O woman, great is your faith!" (Mt 15:28).

So you know how when you're upset and distracted ...

... and you can do something really stupid because your mind is a million miles away?

I do.

So I've been exceedingly careful when driving or walking around stores since yesterday. Don't want to add a car wreck or knocking someone over to the ills of the day.

However, I was off my guard just a little while ago, planning to do some baking, some house cleaning, to be "normal" even when my thoughts and prayers are those million miles away.

That is just about the time that you discover you probably are washing your iPod nano in the pocket of your jeans. Halfway through the cycle so that your front-loading washer won't let you rescue it.

*sigh*

I might get lucky and find it somewhere unexpected.

But I have a feeling that I am going to see just how well this "stress test" of an iPod turns out. And that Jeanmarie is gently laughing at me from up in heaven.

Worth a Thousand Words

Winter Mist, by D.L. Ennis at Visual Thoughts

Spiritual Warfare

A guest post by Mark Windsor. Thank you Mark, for your prayers and support.

“My name is Legion, for we are many.”

We tend to think of spiritual warfare in either grand terms or in Hollywood clichés. On the larger side, we see it as the good versus evil of modern culture war, abortion, defense of marriage, etc. On the cliché side, we get the likes of The Omen or The Exorcism of Emily Rose. These have one significant thing in common – the evil is an abstraction in both cases. It’s at a distance, and in a form we can deal with psychologically.

But there are moments when evil becomes small and exact and free of cliché. It often comes with surprising speed and clarity, unfathomable fear, and leaves great sadness in its wake. It can come in many forms. It might be the whisper of a welcome temptation or the bluntness of a gunshot. It’s at moments like this that evil can be caught in a bright light and seen for what it really is. But we only see it after the fact, after it’s too late. We feel the bullet strike before we hear the shot.

An event like this took place in Julie’s world around 9:00 this morning. A mother, her eight year old son, and four year old daughter, were shot to death in a quiet, unassuming neighborhood of Dallas. But this seemingly random event echoes to my northern suburb, and to wherever you’re sitting right now, reading these words.

Who did it and why are the questions that first spring to mind, and that’s perfectly natural. But a more pertinent question is - “How”? I don’t mean the how of mechanism. The police already know that – it was a series of gunshots. I mean the how of, “how did this happen in such a quiet place?”

It’s senseless to seek the answer in the obvious. This would lead back to cliché and an abstraction of what really happened. “He had a bad childhood.” “His father beat him” “Poverty is the root of all crime.” “He felt a judgment was unfair.” “He was driven to it by the circumstances of his life.” These are the root causes of the politician or those who seek answers in humanism or sociology. They offer us nothing more than the opportunity to turn our backs, walk away, and resume your lives as if nothing had happened.

The how of this ghastly event is far more fundamental to every human being. For our own peace of mind, sometimes for our own psychological well being, we turn away and hide. But this how is really quite simple.

Evil.

It’s all around us. While it’s true that the law of God is written on every human heart, it’s also true that the baseness of evil is always around us. No human being goes from having the law of God written on their hearts to a terrorizing murderer in one simple step. The evil that he became grew within him over time. Maybe his first temptation was to steal a candy bar from the grocery store just because the thought he could get away with it. Undoubtedly it was something small and long ago. For whatever reason, the temptations kept coming and the will lost the capacity to say no, or even to care. From a first temptation as a child, to this last temptation as an adult, it grew and festered and utterly overcame what was written on his heart by the hand of God himself.

People call this random violence. It’s not random. There’s a pattern. We just can’t see it. This is the nature of evil – to start small and lure men ever so slowly to their doom.

How do you fight evil like this? How do you wage spiritual war against an adversary so cruel?

There is an answer, but it is hard to hear and even harder to live. Who knows what difference it might have made to the man that pulled the trigger if, at just the right moment in his life, someone had spoken to him like Matthew 25:40 really meant something.

And the king will say to them in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Matthew 25:40

Take Luke 6:32-38 to heart and live it totally – like your salvation depends on it.

For if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.

And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do the same.

If you lend money to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit (is) that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, and get back the same amount.

But rather, love your enemies and do good to them, and lend expecting nothing back; then your reward will be great and you will be children of the Most High, for he himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked.

Be merciful, just as (also) your Father is merciful.

"Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven.

Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you."

Luke 6:32-38

This is what Paul meant in Ephesians 6:13-19 – the armor of God isn’t made of Kevlar. Be righteous. Live like righteousness matters. It mattered to Paul. It mattered to Christ.

Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground. So stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate, and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace.

In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield, to quench all (the) flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. With all prayer and supplication, pray at every opportunity in the Spirit. To that end, be watchful with all perseverance and supplication for all the holy ones and also for me, that speech may be given me to open my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel for which I am an ambassador in chains, so that I may have the courage to speak as I must.

Ephesians 6:13-19

That is, ultimately the answer – Christ and his Word.

Live your life like Matthew 25:40 really means something. I don't know the people who died today, but I have learned a few things about them in the past eight hours. I may be wrong, but I think they would appreciate that as a testament to their lives.

May God have mercy on us all.

Prayer Request

A dear friend of mine and her two children were found murdered this morning. Please pray for their souls, for her husband, for those of us who are devastated by this terrible news, and ... for the soul of her murderer. May God have mercy on him.

UPDATE
I really cannot write anything right now. I guess that's a sign of how distressed I am, that we all are, when I cannot even think about writing. The beautiful thing is to see how many friends are coming together in different groups saying rosaries for the slain ones and for her husband who is suffering right now in a way that none of us can comprehend. I also am thankful that I heard Immaculee's interviews about forgiveness which I mentioned earlier. It makes it possible for me to pray for the soul of whoever did this terrible thing. St. Maria Goretti, pray for us.

Thank you so much to all those who are praying, whether commenting or not. Mark Windsor very kindly sent me a piece he wrote and it is both eloquent and true. I am posting it as it is a very good reflection on what our priest said last night to a group of us who gathered in mourning, "This is as close to the true face of Evil as we will see in this world."

Haunted by a (Pittsburgh) Hoagie

Ever since an email discussion with two Pittsburgh denizens, I have had images of a sausage hoagie floating through my head ... which a visit to Roadfood and then to Sloppy Talk just made worse.

When, oh when might I get to sample this fare that I long for?

More on that later, dear readers ...

When we feel powerless and need inspiration - Updated

I have a dear friend who is undergoing severe persecution right now. I cannot help her. I can only pray for her.

I have been listening to Immaculee Ilibagiza on Christopher Closeup and Personally Speaking (episodes 130 and 131) talk about living through the Rwandan genocide.

I think about the persecution we read of in the Middle East and China.

Then, there are many people who are struggling spiritually right now during Advent. They feel powerless.

I thank God that I am not among any of these. However, all these instances remind me that there is so much sin and suffering in the world and sometimes it seems to great to bear.

Then I remember that it comes down to each person and their relationship with the living God. That how we reflect His love to those around us is what changes the world, person by person.

One of the ways that helps to inspire me and that helps me to remember this can be found here. Yes, I point this out from time to time, but what can I say? It inspires me.

I remember that though I am small, God is great. He can and will work great and unexpected works through us if we let him. Even though we cannot see the great plan he can. In this we trust.

All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

Julian of Norwich

There's a woman who is embroidering. Her son, seated on a low stool, sees her work, but in reverse. He sees the knots of the embroidery, the tangled threads. He says, "Mother, what are you doing? I can't make out what you are doing!" Then mother lowers the embroidery hoop and shows the good part of the work. Each color is in place that the various threads form a harmonious design. So, we see the reverse side of the embroidery because we are seated on the low stool.

Saint Pio

While we are remembering all this, it never hurts to call in the angelic cavalry either. If all we can do is to pray, then that is our job and we must treat it seriously.

St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

UPDATE

We also must keep in mind that inspiration awaits us sometimes with the very people who are so persecuted. Despite the times that Immaculee wanted to die, she was given the grace to be able to look deep into her persecutors' eyes and forgive them. It is an amazing witness to which I encourage you to listen.

There is also the witness of young Namrata Nayak, whose face was disfigured when Hindi extremists bombed her home, hoping to kill Christians. The Anchoress has the whole story and much more for us. Here is just a bit of Namrata's witness to us.

The world has seen my face destroyed by the fire, now it must come to know my smile full of love and peace…I want to dedicate my life to spreading the Gospel.

[W]e forgive the Hindu radicals who attacked us, who burned our homes…They were out of their minds, they do not know the love of Jesus. For this reason, I now want to study so that when I am older I can tell everyone how much Jesus loves us. This is my future.

Today's Pittsburgh Picture

I truly meant to reveal why I've had Pittsburgh on my mind ... but something came up that prevented the requisite amount of blogging time.

Enjoy this photo today and tomorrow I will ... reveal all!

It's All Downhill From Here

A little midweek humor from Dr. Boli's Celebrated Magazine. I see that I am not alone in my appreciation for Dr. Boli as Will Duquette has posted an appreciation.

Ask Dr. Boli

Dear Dr. Boli: The honey I just bought at a local organic market claims on the label that it came from an “apiary” in Westmoreland County. I thought honey was made by bees rather than apes. What’s going on? —Sincerely, Dr. Carolina Thicket, Curator of Primates, Duck Hollow Museum of Natural History.

Dear Madam: Honey is indeed made by bees, as you were taught from infancy; and an apiary, as you correctly surmised, is an institution devoted to the cultivation of apes. Apes, and especially gibbons, have an instinctive aptitude for tending bees, and are frequently employed for that purpose. It is a happy arrangement for both species, as it is cheaper than employing human attendants for the purpose, and it gives the apes something to do. Dr. Boli is somewhat surprised that a scientist in your position would not be aware of these well-known facts, but he supposes that you are more accustomed to meeting apes after they have paid a visit to the taxidermist, which renders them entirely unfit for tending bees. The advantage of the stuffed ape for museum purposes, of course, is that it tends to be less sticky, the taxidermist having carefully cleaned off the honey before mounting the specimen.

The use of apes in the honey industry is only one of the many ways in which our animal friends are employed to the benefit of humanity. You should ask Dr. Boli about foxholes some day, or perhaps about catamarans.

Away in a Manger ... But Not With This Nativity Scene

David L. Alexander - Man With Black Hat
Amy Welborn
Fr. Dwight Longenecker - Standing On My Head
Joshua Snyder - The Western Confucian
Mark Shea
Julie D. - Happy Catholic
Zippy Catholic
Dawn Eden
Kenneth Hynek
Jeff Miller - Curt Jester
Thomas Peters - American Papist
Jimmy Akin

I am especially concerned about that creepy Jesus figure.

Robert Duncan is blogging again. He was a favorite of mine for a long time and then broke my heart by becoming too busy.

Luckily, he has been back for a few weeks and I now have time to draw your attention to his fine writing. His Photoshop work ... not so much, though I am glad to see that I am a wise man.

Check out this sampling of work and see if you don't agree:

• Fatima: The Madrid Bombings (Chapter One) ... the first of four parts so far of a serialized history
  
• John, Mary, and Christ: An Islamic Viewpoint ... text is from an 1863 book "The Bible, The Koran, and The Talmud; Or, Biblical Legends of the Mussulmans," by Dr. G Weil.
• Three Classic Spanish Plates
• Semana Santa ... and even some photography
  

"We were not born into this world in order to die in this way."

Some of us say: “May Allah curse the Jews and the Christians, the offspring of apes and pigs.” Is this the language of progress? Is this the language of enlightenment and tolerance? If you had been born in Rome, you would have been Christian, if you had been born in Tehran, you would have been Shiite, and if you had been born in Saudi Arabia, you would have been Sunni, and so on. How wonderful it would be if all these people could gather in love around the table of humanity.

This is from 2006 and so perhaps I am the last one to see this video of Bahraini intellectual Dhiyaa Al-Musawi. It is still worth watching as a powerful statement from a thinking man who understands the serious problems with the Arab world today. I found it inspirational.

You can see it here.

Mary Moments Honoring Our Lady of Guadalupe

Many good posts are featured in this round up honoring Mary. My overall collection about Our Lady of Guadalupe is in there as well. Check it out.

Max Vanko Murals in Pittsburgh Church

A series of fascinating murals celebrating the American worker can be seen in Pittsburgh's St. Nicholas Croatian Catholic Church and also at The Society to Preserve the Millford Murals. You can read more also at Time magazine.

Worth a Thousand Words

Gray Partridge by Remo Savisaar, wildlife photographer extraordinaire

Jack Skellington Visits Las Ramblas

Jack Skellington's Visit to Las Ramblas
from Barcelona Photoblog where he has a full report on the visit

You know I can't resist this one, especially considering our family's fondness for Nightmare Before Christmas.

Ducking Shoes, Bush Makes Me Like Him Even More

Mostly for this exchange with media afterward, which I got from The Anchoress.

THE PRESIDENT: I don’t think you can take one guy throwing shoes and say this represents a broad movement in Iraq. You can try to do that if you want to. I don’t think it would be accurate.

QUESTION: Well, then, separately from him —

THE PRESIDENT: That’s exactly what he wanted you to do. Like I answered on your question, what he wanted you to do was to pay attention to him. And sure enough, you did…

[There was a noise on board the plane.]

THE PRESIDENT: The other shoe just dropped. Look, I’m going to be thinking of shoe jokes for a long time. I haven’t heard any good ones yet.

Worth a Thousand Words

Portrait of Louis Pasteur, painted by Albert Edelfelt, 1885

Pittsburgh, O Pittsburgh ... how lovely are thy views

View from the rotunda of Daniel Burnham’s Pennsylvania Railroad Station,
taken by Father Pitt

Would that I could see them in person ...