When MIT Came Knocking ...

Hi Julie,

I am a researcher at The Massachusetts Institute of Technology. I am working on an 'in-depth interviews' project with people of all ages from different communities across the country, and their relationship with technology.

I am very much interested to talk with you about your blog. I'm in Dallas this week. For your convenience I'm including a link to the school and to my research center.

Now there's an email you don't get every day. Tom and I checked it out and Grace really was from MIT, working on her dissertation, and interviewing bloggers around the country.

So, what the heck. Why not give it a whirl? Last Friday Grace came to our office and later to our home and taped all about blogging, Julie D. style. I think I now have an inkling of what it might be like to be the subject of a documentary. She'd ask questions and we'd talk about my answer some. Then I'd give the answer again for the camera, always watching out of the corner of my eye for the "cut" sign that I'd talked enough and also trying to keep in mind the original question.

The funniest thing.
(And I wasn't even there for it.) Grace filmed me walking out of my office to my car and driving away. On the way I got some very curious looks as you can imagine with my one person entourage dogging my steps with her camera. I told a couple of men by the door, "It makes me look important, doesn't it?"

Grace said that on the way back in, these two men stopped her and said, "Who was that?"

"What?" said Grace. "You didn't recognize her? That's Julie D. I thought everyone knew her."

"Oh, yes, of course," the men nodded wisely.

(ha!)

Thought provoking things.
Did I think that blogging was an inherently anti-social activity given that you are actually alone when you are communicating with your "on-line community?" No, I don't (though I could tell that Grace didn't agree and we discussed this at length). Although more people can join in, I equate blogging to letter writing. Yes, you can use to avoid society if you want, but that applies to a whole lotta activities. (that is the short answer...)

How is Julie D. different than me? Truth to tell, I never thought of Julie D. as being a different persona but she's a bit nicer than I am. While I may rant and rave to my family while working out an issue, Julie D. tends to keep her cool better (the public versus private life thing).

Most surreal thing.
Filming me typing on the blog in my office while I played a song by The Killers. I am not sure I will ever hear that song again without thinking of Grace circling me, zooming in close on the keyboard, etc. It's really hard to just keep on doing what you're doing without looking at that camera.

The "at home" thing.
Grace filmed us playing Pounce (a great card game that I have been meaning to fill y'all in on for a long time). Good thing we weren't playing for points because she also was talking to Tom and the girls about if they read the blog (which they do), am I a social person (this got a loud laugh and many stories about how much I talk to everyone), why Rose would never want to live anywhere but Texas (does this need explaining? I didn't think so.).

An enlightening thing.
Grace said that there was a blogging couple in Vermont who had much the same attitudes that I did about blogging not being an anti-social activity. What makes that interesting at all was that she said, "they're about as different from you as they could be" (translation: liberal, Democrat, I'm guessing "not Catholic", fill in the blanks from there). That was very reassuring on a basic level. We may believe in totally different methods to get to our goals but that people with such a different mindset had the same basic practicality and common sense gave me a sense of hope for our polarized country (yes, yes, patting myself on the back so hard does hurt my arm some).

The unexpected thing.
After filming, Grace started asking about how I got to be such a "woman of faith" (I really felt as if I should be wearing a long shapeless black dress whenever she said that). So, well, y'all know me by now right? (ahem ... HAPPY CATHOLIC!) That kind of question just leads to faith sharing and more faith sharing. I must not have scared her too badly because we wound up having rather a heart to heart over various large issues of belief.

The final thing.
It was fun. And I liked Grace. If you're reading this ... stay in touch!

Hurray for Bollywood

BRIDE & PREJUDICE
Director Gurinder Chadha (Bend It Like Beckham) gives Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen the Bollywood treatment. Bright colors, song and dance breaking out at a moment's notice, romantic entanglements and humorous characters abound. Chanda manages to stay close to the basic story, even to the point of keeping the sisters' names similar (Maya instead of Mary, etc.). It was handy that both Hannah and Rose had read the book recently (I hate to think how many years it has been since I cracked the covers of that book) so they had a great time pointing out when the story deviated (less often than you'd think).

It is a lighthearted piece of fluff that will entertain once time through well enough. I don't think I'd care about seeing it again although it did make me want to rent Monsoon Wedding for another viewing. If you liked Bride & Prejudice at all, do give Monsoon Wedding a try if you haven't seen it. It is a more complex and authentic view of India and Bollywood. Or, for Austen fans, you can look for the next Indian movie going on my list to try, I Have Found It, an adapted version of Sense and Sensibility.

Happy Birthday Mary!

This is one I know my non-Catholic friends will have a little trouble with! "Why," they will ask, "does the Catholic Calendar include a day commemorating the Nativity of Mary? It's not like anyone knows what her real birthday was! And she's not Jesus, so why do this?"

All true. She is not Jesus. We do not know the real date of her birth.

We don't actually know the date of Jesus' birth either, come to that.

So, why bother?

I have not had time to write anything about this Feast of the Nativity of Mary. Thank goodness The Anchoress did ... and, naturally, much better than I would have anyway. She has a lovely and eloquent answer to that question that you really should go read.

If I was totally on top of things I'd be serving a birthday cake for Mary today ... good thing she's an understanding mother who knows that I've had too many back-to-school parents' night things coming up to fit in cake baking. So I will just wish her Happy Birthday and be thankful that she said, "Yes" to God for us all.

We Are More Than the Sum of Our Bumper Stickers

This post has been making the rounds.

I did not stop to help a * supporter today.

I had no idea how deeply my hate for that man ran. My lack of an interaction, with a * supporter is still haunting me a couple of hours later.

I was on my home and was on the ramp getting off the highway. I saw a mini-van on the side of the road. There was a lady standing next to the van and in her arms she held her child. I can only assume her mini-van had broken down. I don't know, perhaps with so many gad stations being out of gas, she had also run out. I slowed down and started to pull over to offer her a ride. At the very last second I noticed a "W" sticker on the back of her vehicle and I sped up and drove off.

I feel really bad as a human being. That child is not responsible for their parent's belief system. They are innocent and do not deserve to be out in the heat. (It is warm but not so bad that they would even break a sweat) I try not to punish people for what they believe.

On the other hand, so many hateful thoughts went through my head. I wondered how a person could see what was going on in NO and still have one of those awful stickers on their car. How could they support an awful excuse for a human being that has let our country down and is letting Americans die after they have made it through the storm? How can someone be so blind and so stupid?

I thought that if she loves * so much, maybe he would come along and help her the same way he is rescuing all of those poor people in the weather stricken part of our country. Let's see what her hero can do for her.

I never did go back. I was so upset with that sticker and with the fact that someone would support an idiot who is so clearly running our country into the ground.

So why am I writing this? It is not to boast, I really feel bad about passing this child and not picking up their mother. Perhaps it is for a catharsis of sorts? That would be an educated guess. I suppose it is because I feel conflicted and I am writing this to try and sort through what I am feeling. There are two emotional sides, for me, on this incident and neither seems completely right or wrong to me. Even writing this, I am still not able to work through what happened. I feel like I am floating between right and wrong and am unable to grab either side.

Thanks for listening.

Of course this woman's honesty has been applauded by some people (notably in her comments boxes) and condemned by others (notably in various conservative venues).

I was fascinated by her honesty and, of course, appalled that we have become so polarized that we would be judged worthy by our bumper stickers. Interestingly "Bush" has become such a dirty word that she could not bring herself to type it out. This makes me think of something that Hannah's history teacher told the class. He said that people who personally hate Bush are a little wacky because they don't know him personally at all and the teacher was pretty sure that Bush didn't know these people. Good point. How often do we identify the policies with the person and transfer that dislike onto someone who (most likely) is doing the best they can? (Worth reflecting on for those of us who weren't too fond of Bill Clinton.)

Looking further into it and reading through the comments, I came across her further thoughts on the subject.

In fact after actually being able to write it out and think it over, I was 100% wrong and would take it all back if I could. In fact my response, to the first person who answered my post, was that I did wrong and that I will be picking up a person no matter who it is next time. That does fall within reason - I may offer to call the police for a male who is stranded.

I am not someone who usually stops to think about something before helping someone. I just talked to my husband about taking in people from NO who needed help. There were no strings attached as to how people voted, etc.... He did feel uncomfortable since we have two small children so we have donated money and I have contacted someone I know, from NO, to offer any assistance we can give to them or their family.

Good for her. That's an important step forward in remembering that if we define ourselves solely by our political parties then we are limiting ourselves into being less than human. We must all remember that we are human beings in this together. As for the people responding who are telling her that she was right in the first place, well, they have such a narrow view of life that I feel nothing but pity for them. Lord have mercy on me for the times I have forgotten the big picture ... and bless them.

Hands of Christ: Katrina Relief

BLOGBURST FOR KATRINA RELIEF

Bloggers are taking time to encourage their readers to contribute to a relief agency of their choice for victims of Hurricane Katrina.

1. Pick a charity. (My favorite relief charity is The Salvation Army but there are over 200 charities listed.)
2. Make a donation, by phone, by mail, or by internet.
3. Go to this page and log your contribution.

Here is Instapundit's round up page and the TTLB Katrina Relief page where you can see the blog leader board.

FINAL NUMBERS (as of 1:40 p.m.)
$ 1,199,620 was donated through the blogburst of 1,805 blogs from 34 countries. OVER A MILLION DOLLARS! Wow, I am knocked out here.

Happy Catholic readers contributed $1,230! I couldn't believe it when I read that number ... $1,220! You guys ROCK!

KATRINA RESOURCES: see sidebar.

This is His Church...

From a certain point on you waged a campaign against the theologians and also reacted with increasing severity to internal theological criticism. One of your main sayings is: "This is His Church and not a laboratory for theologians."

I wouldn't want to battle theologians, because then I would, after all, be fighting against myself. Theology is a very important and noble craft, and the theologian's activity is very important. Criticism and being critical is also part of that. What I did campaign against is a theology that loses its criteria and thus no longer performs its service rightly. Just what we were saying: We are servants and don't ourselves determine what the Church is. This is the decisive point for me. However, this expression, "it is his Church and not ours," is really a fork in the road for me; to acknowledge that we do not excognitate what the Church is but that we believe that He wants her and that we should try to recognize what He wants with her and place ourselves in this service.

Cardinal Ratzinger (now Pope Benedict XVI)
in an interview with Pete Seewalt,
The Salt of the Earth

Romantic Tips

Kid Stuff
351

Rediscover and nurture the "child" inside of you. It's the key to your creativity, spontaneity, sense of wonder and joy.

352

When's the last time you watched cloud formations? Take your lover for a walk in a field. Find an unobstructed view. Flop down on a hilltop. What do you see in the clouds? What do you imagine?

353

Surprise her with a little "Trinket Gift" hidden inside a McDonald's Big Mac container.
Surprise him by hiding a favorite stuffed animal inside his gym bag.

354

Seventy-eight percent of all women love stuffed animals.
[Note: I am not one of that 78 percent.]

355

Most men love gadgets, electronic stuff or tools ... "boys' toys." Men never really grow up -- our toys simply get more expensive.

356

Get a favorite toy from his childhood: A toy, book, report card or picture from the wall. (Call his parents; they'll love to be a part of this idea.) Wrap it up and include a touching note.

1001 Ways to Be Romantic
by Gregory Godek

How Can We Love As God Loves?

Jesus taught that as God loves us, so too are we to love him -- and one another. How is this possible? Some days it seems hard enough to love ourselves, let alone other people -- or even God -- wholeheartedly! But God knows how he created us. He hasn't given us an impossible mission. How we do it is to ask him to fill our hearts with his love. Then, that love will start flowing back to him in praise and out to others in acceptance, forgiveness, and service...

We have only to ask. No special prayers are necessary. Simple words, spoken quietly, even silently, are sufficient. It's that easy, because God is so good.

The Word Among Us

If You're Not Reading the Interdictor, You Don't Really Have the Big Picture About NOLA

The Riverwalk may be on fire (shopping mall at the river at end of CBD/Quarter). Everytime we talk to the police, we hear about sniper fire at the fire scenes. I cannot confirm that there is any. This is all hearsay, but it's coming from the police. The police we talk to, while consistent about claiming there is sniper fire, are conflicted about whether it's police sniper fire trying to take out arsonists or criminal sniper fire trying to take out police and fire rescue teams. Again, this is rumor for now, but we're hearing a lot of this rumor.

Now this is something that requires tact, and I do not have much experience with reporting, but I think the world needs to know how overwhelmed the police are out here: I have reports from 3 different police sources that 2 police officers have committed suicide. Out of respect for their families, I will not name them or go into detail. Truly tragic how bad things are. I sincerely hope I did the right thing in reporting this.

Read the ongoing journal of The Interdictor.

Also, the owner of Intercosmos (Interdictor's employer) sends a plea for working space to use until New Orleans is rebuilt. Read about it here.

Katrina Info and Links

I will leave this post at the top of the page for a while.
Scroll down to see any new items.

These are some of my favorite links for the scoop on everything going on with the aftermath of the hurricane.

RESOURCES

• FEMA's Hurricane Katrina page
  Everything from locating people to closed roads to volunteer information

DMN Local Resources page
Where to give and receive help in the Dallas area.

• Salvation Army Needs in Dallas
  Link to a previous post with a list of items and the drop off location and hours.

• Lafayette Job Listings: via Illuminated Obscurity

NEWS

• Terry Teachout's page
  People who are blogging from the scene of various places the hurricane hit. Some were blogging by Blackberry after their power went out during the hurricane.

• New Orleans Times-Picayune live blog
  They have impressed everyone in the country with their excellent live-blogging. They are continuing and posting messages from evacuees and those looking for them.

• Times-Picayune's breaking news page
  The place to look for the latest on what is actually happening on the ground in NOLA

• Michelle Malkin
  She has about four posts that are constantly being updated covering relief efforts and all sorts of news.

OTHER BLOGS OF INTEREST

• Kathryn Cramer
  Really thorough posting on the overall situation. Worth reading through her posts.

The Interdictor
Live-blogging from the middle of New Orleans with an internet connection (he works for an ISP), food, water, firearms and a diesel generator. Via The Donegal Express.

GENERAL INFO

• Wikipedia's Katrina New Orleans page
  An excellent page showing the progression of the hurricane and aftermath in New Orleans and explaining the ongoing process. (Keep in mind that Wikipedia is written and edited by the public but this page does seem very accurate.) Some good external links are at the bottom of the page.

• Wikipedia's Hurricane Katrina general page
  Covers the entire life of the hurricane and aftermath (much more than the NOLA area).

More Katrina Info

REFUGEES IN DALLAS
The extent of the disaster can be seen in the fact that Dallas is about 9 hours from New Orleans on a good driving day and our hotels and emergency shelters are housing refugees from the hurricane's devastation. Houston is bearing the brunt but DFW is opening area arenas for refugees also.

Texas has declared a month's moratorium on having to produce any records for refugee children so they can go to school in the meantime. Some children started attending Texas schools today.

SALVATION ARMY/DALLAS - NEEDS FOR REUNION ARENA REFUGEES

• Children's socks
• Similac with iron
• tshirts
• towels
• medicine for children (cough syrup)
• underclothing: male, female, children
• soap
• toothpaste
• toothbrushes
• coloring books/crayons
• pillows
• blankets
• diaper wipes
• diapers
• deodorant
• work gloves
• rubber gloves
• flashlights and batteries
• insect repellant

These items need to be dropped off at 9216 Harry Hines Blvd. and Shore Crest on Mon-Sat: 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. or Sun 1:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m.

BL OPENING DOORS TO CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL REFUGEES
Bishop Lynch has also opened its doors to any Catholic high school student from the New Orleans or Biloxi area. At least four families have already contacted the school, and their children will be integrated into classes until such time they can return to their homes. If you know of a family in need, please have them contact our Admissions Director, Ann Martin via the Bishop Lynch website at www.bishoplynch.org.

FUNDRAISER
Penni at martha, martha is having a fundraiser for Fish and Crystal. She also has a PayPal donation fund set up in her sidebar for those who are their friends but can't attend (which would be a whole lot of us blogging buddies!). If you know them and want to help drop by and check it out.

Ruining Yet Another of Rose's Favorite Songs

This caught my ear a few days ago in song shuffle. It's my new favorite (until the next one comes along, of course). For someone who is so word oriented I think it is funny that I listen to songs for their sound for a long time before paying attention to most of the words.

Last night I suddenly really listened and was shocked to find a deeper meaning than I thought. See what y'all think but this might be the coolest "sacred found in the secular" song to come along yet. (Poor Rose. She hates it when I do that. "Why do you have to kill everything I love?")

"All These Things That I've Done"
(by The Killers)

When there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on
I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know - no you don't, you don't
I wanna shine on in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out

And when there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain't changing me
The cold-hearted boy I used to be

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
...

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

Over and in, last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I've done
All these things that I've done
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

AZ Lyrics

For All Those Who Have Someone Missing

Please keep a collegue (Chiara) of mine in your prayers. Her son (D'Ondre), sister (Marilyn) and her family tried to escape the path of the hurricane hitting New Orleans but unfortunately their town has been submerged in more than 22 feet of water. Chiara has been unable to contact any of her family members and is waiting for news from the Red Cross about their wherabouts.

I ask that you please keep Chiara and her family in her prayers and that everyone be kept safe during this time.

I got this prayer request from a friend today. And, of course, there are other people who are frantically worried about loved ones who they can't locate. I hope and pray that all will turn up safe, sound, and sorry that they caused any anxiety. Lord, hear our prayer.

Purgatory 101

The Litany for Souls in Purgatory raised some questions via email and comments boxes about just what purgatory is and where it can be found in the Bible. I definitely am no theologian but will do my best to explain.

It is true that purgatory, like the Trinity, is a doctrine that is not mentioned by name is Scripture.

My extremely basic explanation:

• In Heaven we must be perfect to be in the presence of God.
• When we die we are not perfect. We still have our various imperfections that we are "working on."
• To make us perfect, we must "finish up" our work. That is Purgatory. Purgatory is for sins that don't deserve absolute punishment.

Purgatory is sometimes described as being a place of great pain (in our souls because we see how far we are from perfection and therefore from God) but also a place of great joy (because we see that we will achieve our goal of Heaven).

Peter Kreeft offers a much more logical explanation:

Purgatory exists because God is both just and merciful.

Purgatory is "like a refiner's fire" (Mal 3:2). It refines and purifies those who at the moment of death are neither good enough for an immediate heaven nor bad enough for hell. "All who die in God's grace and friendship, but still imperfectly purified, are indeed assured of their eternal salvation; but after death they undergo purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven" (CCC 1030). "The Church gives the name Purgatory to this final purification of the elect, which is entirely different from the punishment of the damned" (CCC 1031)...

The existence of purgatory logically follows from two facts: our imperfection on earth and our perfection in heaven.

1. At the moment of death, most of us are not completely sanctified (purified, made holy), even though we are justified, or saved by having been baptized into Christ's Body and having thereby received God's supernatural life into our souls, having accepted him by faith and not having rejected him by unrepented mortal sin.
2. But in heaven, we will be perfectly sanctified, with no lingering bad habits or imperfections in our souls.
3. Therefore, for most of us, there must be some additional change, some purification, between death and heaven. This is purgatory.

... Unlike heaven or hell, purgatory is only temporary. Purgatory takes away the temporal punishment still due for our sins after our Baptism, faith, and repentance have already saved us from the eternal punishment due to our sin, that is hell.

Catholic Christianity: A Complete Catechism of Catholic Beliefs
Based on the Catechism of the Catholic Church

I like this down to earth analogy of purgatory.

Consider the following analogy about the experience of being a member of the human family. We go out and "play" in the neighborhood. In our adventures we fall down and "muddy" ourselves and have to return home for a good bath. After a thorough scrubbing, the beloved child is once again a sweet-smelling member of the family. If the muddy kid tried to slip on some clean clothes and come to supper without washing up his mother or father would quickly usher him off to get properly cleaned up. Sacramentally, we Catholics "wash as we go" in the blood of Christ.

Catholic Pocket Evangelist

Paul uses the analogy of "fire" in speaking about the purification to emphasize that it is God's fiery love burning away any remaining impurities in our souls.

However, God completes this process, it happens outside of time which is mind boggling enough in itself. When purification is completed the soul enters into God's presence. This process can be speeded along by the prayers of the living. It can be hard to understand how our prayers can help those in purgatory who have already lived their lives and made their decisions. Again, an analogy is helpful.

... Suppose you have a friend who goes to join the army and is in bootcamp. Now (theoretically) everyone who enters the army must be brought up to a certain level of physical excellence, which is the purpose of bootcamp. It doesn't matter where you start from, bootcamp's purpose is to bring you up to that level of physical excellence.

This is what purgatory does. Purgatory is the bootcamp of heaven. The purpose of purgatory is to bring you up the level of spiritual excellence needed to experience the full-force presence of God. It doesn't matter where you start from, there will be no sinning in heaven, and you have to be brought up to that level during final sanctification, before you are glorified with God in heaven.

Now when you have a friend in bootcamp, whether a physical bootcamp here on earth or the spiritual bootcamp in the afterlife, you can pray for him that bootcamp will go easier on him, that he will brought up to the level of excellence he needs in the most painless way possible. It may or may not shorten his time in bootcamp (in fact, in the U.S. Army bootcamp is of a fixed length), but you can still pray that it will go easier on him as he is brought to where he needs to be.

How to Explain Purgatory to Protestants

My favorite view of what Heaven might be like also helps wrap our minds around the concept of purgatory.

... First we review our past life with divine understanding and appreciation of our past life with divine understanding and appreciation of every single experience, good and evil: we milk all our meaning dry. Then we do the same to others' lives from within. We know them more intimately and completely than we could ever know our most intimate friend on earth because we share God's knowledge of each one. When these two preliminary lessons are complete - when we know, love, understand, and appreciate completely by inner experience everything we and everyone else have ever experienced - only then we are spiritually mature enough to begin the endless and endlessly fascinating task of exploring, learning, and loving the facets of infinity, the inexhaustible nature of God.

The idea is not new, for it corresponds to three traditional doctrines: Purgatory, the Communion of Saints, and the Beatific Vision. But each is given new life by being related to the others in this sequence. Purgatory turns out be part of Heaven rather than a distinct place, and consists of moral reeducation rather than mere punishment, rehabilitation rather than retribution. The communion of Saints is rescued from a vague, philanthropic goodwill and made as interesting as human love and communion on earth; getting to know people is in one way or another the only thing we find inexhaustible here as well as there. Finally, the contemplation of God is not boring because it is done with souls matured by the first two tasks. The difference this maturing makes is as great as the difference between a dying saint and a newborn baby...

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Heaven by Peter Kreeft

These are some of the scriptural references used in the Catholic teachings on purgatory.

We must be spotless and pure in God's presence.
Rev 21:27
Matt 5:8

Christ promised there was punishment that exacted what was due but wasn't endless. (And Paul supported this teaching.)
Matt 5: 20-26
Matt 12:32
Matt 18:21-35
Matt 25:31-46
Luke 12:58-59
Heb 9:27
Psalm 99:8

This punishment isn't in Hell because you can't be saved through hellfire. Also, there's no punishment in Heaven.
1 Corinthians 3:10-16
2 Corinthians 5:9-11
Hebrews 12:6, 11

Those who are alive can pray for those who are dead (and vice versa).
1 John 5:16-17
Luke 16:19-31
2 Maccabees 12:38-46
Sirach 7:33

Again I am no theologian and hope that this doesn't raise more questions than it answers. I am happy to answer what I can in the comments boxes as long as we all adhere to the blog's rules about commenting.

Special thanks to my friend L for assistance with this.

Friday's Shindig

No kidding. A shindig is actually what Hannah and her friends call their get togethers which seem to happen every 3 weeks or so.

Friday's shindig was more impromptu than most but I rallied enough to make Mexican food for everyone which seemed to be much appreciated. It was a floating crowd as usual with about 8 boys and 4 girls.

Highlights of the evening included Addison serenading everyone with "The Ballad of Jayne" from Firefly (with William singing along on the chorus). They plan to go to the midnight opening of Serenity and see how many of the fans in line they can get to sing along. I bet everyone there knows all the verses. Those nuts! But very likeable nuts!

The main event was watching About a Boy which no one but Hannah had seen (have these kids been living under a rock?) but The Three Musketeers (Richard Lester version) and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead also crept into the evening's repetoire.

All this was varied with breaks for food, food, and ... food. Also there were intervals of music on the guitar, flute and tin whistle while others played Boggle and Scrabble. This went on into early morning when those who were left (5 boys and Hannah) collapsed in various (gender-segregated!) parts of the house.

Buttermilk pancakes in the morning and everyone had wandered out by about 11:00.

It is chaotic but a lot of fun even when one is mainly a supplier of comestibles and sleeping bags ... and a willing audience for the occasional conversation (I hope that William remembers his promise to send Flashman home with Hannah for me).

Miracles Still Do Happen

Remember Kobayashi Maru's brother? The guy whose leukemia was back for the third time and whose doctors gave him a 5% chance of living? News spread quickly over the internet and people were storming heaven for this man and his family. The results?

I am happily awestruck to report that our prayers have been answered!!!!! Late last week we got news that a key test showed no leukemia cells in my brother's spinal fluid or peripheral blood. None. My brother is back at home with his family, full of energy, responding well just two weeks into a four week course of treatment.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

Read the whole glorious story.

Mmmmmmm, meaty

The high school has a lot of clubs run by students. One such is The Vegetarian Club, new this year. As an opposing force, Hannah's English teacher started The Meat Eater's Club. They probably had the cheapest club presentation ever seen at the recent Club Day. A huge bone and a tabletop grill ... and Hannah (Vice President) and her good friend, Katie (President), as recruiters.

I never realized this but evidently people who have never seen Hannah dig into hamburgers and hot dogs just assume she is a vegetarian. Thanks to her synesthesia, she is a very picky eater, so her usual lunch of almonds, an apple, baby carrots and chips might seem to be because she is vegetarian. Also, she is an ardent animal lover, to the point of holding a big grudge when I decreed that Mother Nature could take care of the wounded grackle we passed one day on a walk.

The most-heard exchange at The Meat Eater's display.

Student: You're the vice president? I thought you were a vegetarian. I mean you love animals so much...
Hannah: But they taste so good.

Litany for Souls in Purgatory

Via Knit and Pray.

Memorial Prayer For the Suffering Souls in Purgatory


Almighty God, Father of goodness and love, have mercy on the poor suffering souls, and grant Thine aid:
To my dear parents and ancestors;
Jesus, Mary, Joseph! My Jesus, mercy.
To my brothers and sisters and other near relatives;
Jesus, Mary, Joseph! My Jesus, mercy.
To my benefactors, spiritual and temporal; etc.
To my former friends and subjects;
To all for whom love or duty bids me pray;
To those who have suffered disadvantage or harm through me;
To those who have offended me;
To all those who are especially beloved by Thee;
To those whose release is at hand;
To those who desire most to be united with Thee;
To those who endure the greatest suffering;
To those whose release is most remote;
To those who are least remembered;
To those who are most deserving on account of their services to the Church;
To the rich, who now are the most destitute;
To the mighty, who now are as lowly servants;
To the blind, who now see their folly;
To the frivolous, who spent their time in idleness;
To the poor, who did not seek the treasures of Heaven;
To the tepid, who devoted little time to prayer;
To the indolent(lazy), who were negligent in performing good works;
To those of little faith, who neglected the frequent reception of the Sacraments;
To the habitual sinners, who owe their salvation to a miracle of grace;
To parents who failed to watch over their children;
To superiors who were not solicitous for the salvation of those entrusted to them;
To the souls of those who strove for hardly anything but riches and pleasures;
To the worldly-minded, who failed to use their wealth and talents in the service of God;
To those who witnessed the death of others, but would not think of their own;
To those who did not provide for the great journey beyond, and the days of tribulation;
To those whose judgment is so severe because of the great things entrusted to them;
To the popes, rulers, kings and princes;
To the bishops and their counselors;
To my teachers and spiritual advisors;
To the deceased priests of this diocese;
To all the priests and religious of the whole Catholic Church;
To the defenders of the Holy Faith;
To those who died on the battlefield;
To those who are buried in the sea;
To those who died of stroke or heart attack;
To those who died without the last rites of the Church;
To those who shall die within the next twenty-four hours;
To my own poor soul when I shall have to appear before Thy judgment seat;


V. O Lord, grant eternal rest to all the souls of the faithful departed,
R. And let perpetual light shine upon them.
V. May they rest in peace.
R. Amen.

Maybe Thank God With A Little Less Feeling

Hannah was complaining again about a girl who doesn't like her, talks about her behind her back, etc.

I said, "You know what you have to do, right?"

She said resignedly, "I know. Pray for her."

"Also, you have to say 'thank you' for this."

Hannah looked heavenward and barked out, "Thank you, Sir! May I have another!"

Dissolve to laughter.

Of Hair Dye, "The Man," and God's Plan

Remember when I felt "Jack Black-ish" last week? Here's the story.

Hair of all students must be clean and well-groomed. A hair style that is a distraction will not be accepted. Bleached or frosted hair will not be allowed. All boys' hair must be combed neatly, with a "gentleman's haircut", which does not extend below the top of the shirt collar in the back, and not below the bottom of the lobe of the ears on the side. The hair length must not extend over the eyes in the front. Curly hair must be short and neat. All boys must be clean-shaven. There will be no mustaches, beards or sideburns below the earlobe, or tails of any kind.

(Bishop Lynch 2005-2006 Handbook)

The boys' guidelines are so specific that they must have been "tested" a lot. But the girls'? It doesn't look like it, does it? Therein hangs a tale of hair dye, authority, conflict, family culture and solidarity, friendship, and ... God's much bigger vision.

Homer: Is that Lisa? Oooo, I gotta call heaven. There's an angel missing!

The Simpsons

My daughter, Rose, got the ends of her hair dyed red before school began. She's a sophomore this year. This was the equivalent of getting a nose ring or a big tattoo ... pretty big stuff on the "self expression" front. I checked the handbook. "Distracting" ... a pretty loose standard but, ok, I'd go with it. As a color was "natural" it was ok (part of those verbal rules that "everyone knows"). When the deed was done, Rose looked pretty darned good.

She ran the gamut of some of the strictest teachers in the school who took no notice at all. When the head of the school was asked by the photographer if her hair was ok, he gave approval without blinking an eye.

Then, Rose went to geometry where a new teacher (to both the school and teaching) called her over and told her to "get her hair fixed" before Monday.

We reread the manual. Nope. Nothing there. Rose went to the Dean of Students the next day for final approval. She was going to have to have this to give to her geometry teacher and avoid a detention.

Francis: We might consider trying to reach a compromise.

Otto: Do I look French to you?

Malcolm in the Middle

The Dean of Students (let's just call her DS from now on) is a favorite among all the kids at the school. She's always had good buzz at our house for her fairness and understanding of how things work.

"Two different colors of hair are not acceptable." No, it wasn't documented anywhere but that was the rule. (Where does this leave the girls with highlighted hair ... and, believe me, they have plenty.) DS was as kind as possible but intransigent on this point.

Rose was crushed. As any parent knows, that is when the mother tiger emerges ... and my mother tiger is especially ferocious when there is no documentation in the handbook to support said crushing of one's child.

Dewey: Rock ain't about doing things perfect. Who can tell me what it's really about? Frankie?

Frankie: Uh? Scoring chicks?

Dewey: No. See? No. Eleni?

Eleni: Getting wasted.

Dewey: No. Come on. No. Leonard?

Leonard: Sticking it to The Man?

Dewey: Yes!

School of Rock

I stick it to The Man with letters, memos, or emails ... and I wrote a doozy to the head of the school. It was perfectly innocuous as Rose hovered nervously behind me, telling me not to make a fuss. (After all, she's gotta live there.)

This email simply was about updating the handbook so that otherwise law abiding offenders didn't suffer the same fate of crushed feelings, large expenses, and rearranging schedules to remedy the offense.

Right. And if they read between the lines about Rose ... well, then good. My account exec training hadn't been in vain.

Did I ever remember that prayer (Lord have mercy on me and bless DS)? Did I offer this bad situation up to God to use for anything? Did I ask to see the good come from the bad? Pffft! It should have. Too bad it never entered my mind. I was in jungle mode. I was still infuriated but calming down, calming more, and then ....

Homer: Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

The Simpsons

DS responded and made a fatal error ... fatal anyway for responding to anyone as angry as I was.

It is my belief she panicked. At any rate, she started making excuses for the teachers who didn't "catch" Rose's hair at the photo session. I remembered the excuses she made to Rose about the teachers who didn't catch it during class uniform checks.

You know what? Don't.

We're all adults here. We all know that the code isn't defined. We all can see that it clearly is not well communicated to the teachers. I'm pretty sure that this two-toned hair directive is new because the style is fairly new.

A simple, "I am so sorry that you're the victim of our carelessness," goes a long, long way. It's true. They made a mistake and Rose was the victim. They will be specific in the code for next year. No problem. We might not be happy but it's hard to kick about a candid admission of error.

Dewey Finn: Those kids have a rare blood disease: "Stick-it-to-da-man-neosis".

Battle of the Bands director: What's that? I've never heard of it.

Dewey Finn: You're lucky. Because it's hell.

School of Rock

By this time I had a practically terminal case of "Stick-it-to-da-man-neosis." Quizzing Rose on what "everyone knows" are the hair policies, I was struck by a thought. "Hey, if the only objection is that your hair is two colors, let's just dye it all!"

Poor Rose. She suddenly looked like a deer in the headlights. I told her, "Sorry. I'm just talking because I am dying to stick it to The Man."

She cringed and said, "But I don't want to stick it to The Man."

Oh, right. This is about Rose, not me. Important point to remember.

I made a call to Joanette, our hairstylist, who also is a dear friend. However, she only cuts hair on Saturday and usually is booked solid by the Friday before. I had very low hopes of getting Rose in to see her the next day. After leaving a message I started considering options.

Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.

Dr. Peter Venkman: What?

Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?

Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.

Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad?"

Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

Ghostbusters

Our options were so fuzzy I had no clue what they really were.

What if we couldn't get this fixed before Monday? Could hair be worn up with dye as concealed as possible? If Joanette could fit Rose in, we still had no further guidelines about hair and dye. The one thing that could still reduce Rose to tears by that time was talking about cutting her hair shorter (hey, emotions were rather raw right then...normally a hair cut is not that big a deal, but you know how it goes).

Homer [making a wish with the cursed monkey's paw]: I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread with lettuce and mustard. And -- and I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises -- you got it?

The Simpsons

The last thing we needed was to think we had solved the problem only to take another wrong step and find out she suddenly had turned into a turkey sandwich. Off went more emails asking for further instructions. (By the way, I want to emphasize that DS is a very nice person who was concerned for Rose's feelings over this ... I have nothing bad to say about her ... at least when I'm out of mother tiger mode.)

So, yeah, you can tell our household doesn't have a lot of problems ... big problems anyway. But for Rose, this was huge, and that made it huge for us.

I did like seeing how our family rallied round the person under seige. All the quotes in this post are things that someone was quoting at some time or other to help Rose smile and take it on the chin a little better. Big or small, it's good to see our family closing ranks to protect one of our own.

I also was struck by the fact that no matter what, quoting funny lines is a part of our family culture. Usually we do it just for fun. But now it was happening to give some context, some perspective, show solidarity. Not earthshaking but interesting.

Homer: Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

The Simpsons

Furthermore I realized that our family culture turns to TV instead of ice cream for soothing.

I wasn't sure how DS's ruling was going to go but when I dropped by the video rental place before picking the girls up at school it was all about Rose. Either for a celebration or a consolation we had Ladder 49 which she had been wanting to see since it came out and the first DVD of Angel's second season. Once the emails had been fired off we went and lost ourselves in the world of demons and a vampire with soul until Tom came home and we had our usual Friday movie night.

I got a call from Joanette at 7:30 the next morning as she was driving in to her shop. She was going to fit Rose in if it killed both her and her other clients. No one was going to put her Rose in trouble with the school. (See why I love that gal?)

In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Before going to Joanette's, I actually did remember that even though I was upset, I was supposed to be thankful. So I said, "Thanks for this," to God. (Sweet, huh?) I remember thinking that whenever I remembered to give thanks for something bad I always learned about something else good coming from it. I figured I had already been reflecting on what was good in our family so I really didn't have anything new to learn this time. (What a know-it-all. Hear that? It's God guffawing.)

Re-dying Rose's hair didn't work so cutting was all that was left to us. Joanette made it look fantastic. By the time we got done plotting silly revenges ("How about a blonde wig? Shoulder length?"), Rose was giggling too.

Faith: Bad day. One of the girls in the yard tried to build a rep by throwing down with me. She had low self-esteem and...a homemade knife, so...

Angel: Is she, you know, alive?

Faith: She lives to tell the tale. Took the knife away, and I can't say much for the wrist it came in. And then the beating by the guards...

Angel: I had to sing Barry Manilow.

Faith: You're kidding.

Angel: In front of people.

Faith: And here I am talking about my petty little problems.

Angel: Just wanted to give you a little perspective.

Faith: Copacobana?

Angel: Mandy. I don't want to dwell on it.

Angel

Then suddenly Joanette turned to me and said, "Julie, now pay attention. I need to talk to you about something serious."

She said, "I never check my messages on the way into the shop on Saturday. Usually you would have had to wait until next week. It was a strange thing for me to do. But as soon as I heard your voice I knew why I checked them."

Then she told me a story about her dear friend, having her fifth child, who had just had that child diagnosed in utero with a fatal genetic disease. The parents were given the choice of having an abortion or carrying their baby girl to term knowing that she most probably would be stillborn or die within a few hours of being born. This brave couple chose life. They want their four children to have the chance to see their baby sister. They want to do “the right thing.” They are afraid and they are worried. However, they chose life despite all that.

Joanette had found out only a day or two before our "hair crisis."

"As soon as I got off the phone I started thinking that I needed to tell someone; someone who would be sure to pray and pray. But I couldn't think of who," Joanette said. "When I heard your voice I knew that God sent you to me that day. You were the one I needed. I never would have called you. I had to see you in person for this request. And here you are. God sent you to me."

Wow.

And I thought this was all about hair.

Here we were whining about having to sing Mandy and someone was coming at this couple with a homemade knife.

For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

God always has that bigger picture in mind. I am grateful that he gave Joanette, Rose, and me a glimpse of it on that Saturday. It is that reminder I need to always keep my eyes open, to be thankful in all things. And to pray before Jesus has to tap me on the shoulder, "Lord have mercy on me and bless DS." Because I do not know everything and can surely use His mercy.

Life is this simple: We are living in a world that is absolutely transparent, and God is shining through it all the time. This is not just a fable or nice story. It is true. If we abandon ourselves to God and forget ourselves, we see it sometimes, and we see it maybe frequently. God shows Himself everywhere, in everything -- in people and in things and in nature and in events ... we cannot be without Him. It's impossible. The only thing is, we don't see it.

Thomas Merton

Now, let us all remember the big picture ... and go storm heaven.