Pondering Evil

I really was resisting writing anything about this because I know that I can't match some of the very good pondering I have seen written already ... but the two columns I read this morning generated even more thinking on my part and it poured out here.

I already had been thinking about evil before the Virginia Tech massacre. After Rose and I watched the premiere of Drive, I was unsettled because of the cruel methods used to coerce some of the participants. The basic premise of the show is that it is an anonymously run, illegal cross country race with the winner receiving 32 million dollars. Although the race liaison, has informed them that there are other competitors, the group does not know exactly whom they’re racing against, or even where the finish line is. Some are participating sheerly for the cash while others have been forced to participate. In one case, Alex Tully is trying to save his wife who has been kidnapped. In another, a mother's newborn son is being held hostage. In a flashback we are shown a couple racing to save their young daughter, who watches them crash and die before her eyes. And so on ...

It is clear that Alex Tully (Nathan Fillion) will also be working toward uncovering whoever is running the race and stopping them from ever doing so again. What bothered me was the idea of such evil that would kidnap a wife or take a newborn from his mother without any reason other than the sport of motivating participants. It made me think of the villain from Daredevil who was sadistically and purposely evil at any opportunity. He bothered me so much that I forbade the girls to ever rent or buy the movie (and, believe me, that is something that I don't often do).

The evil in Drive may be further explained as the plot develops further, however, it provided food for thought all day long. Was evil worse because I didn't know about any motivation? It seemed so to me and that didn't seem right either. Evil is wrong no matter whether we understand the motivations or not. Truth to tell, I realized that knowing the motivation for evil is no excuse at all. Many, many people suffer what might be similar motivations but very few act upon them.

As we watched the next episode it became clear that Alex Tully had been a very bad person but that his wife had somehow redeemed him and helped him transform into a good and normal man. He is being required to revert to his more basic, bad-guy self in order to save his wife. In fact, a race representative was specifically sent to make sure that was clear to him. And revert he did. The sweet and pure seeming mother of the newborn was given an order to eliminate another racer, along with a loaded gun. She was able to find a solution that fulfilled the requirements without having to kill anyone, or even eliminate the other person from the race at all.

Again it seemed to me that a major theme of the show was evil. Some people are being lured to it with the reward, some are being forced by choices that seem unthinkable. Some people are showing their worst sides in response while others are managing to hold onto themselves while fulfilling the requirements. Still I pondered. Was it any more acceptable that Alex Tully was having to race now that we knew he was indirectly responsible for murders? That possibly the punishment for his past sins were being visited upon his innocent wife? I knew I would keep watching if only because it generated so much thought. Also, let's face it, I liked the show and because it is a television show I know there will be answers that will eventually fit into an acceptable moral guideline. That is what good stories are all about, after all.

That same evening I learned from Tom of the Virginia Tech massacre (I am unplugged from news, computer, and email once I leave work). Here was a real life example of evil for which we could not fathom any possible motivation. In our household, as in those across the country, we kept saying to each other, "Why? Why would someone do something like that?" I thought of Cho as a baby, a toddler, a little boy and my heart ached not only for the people whose lives he cut short but for the potential that somehow went terribly wrong in his own life.

We will never know.

As reports have surfaced it is clear that there were many warning signs. Debates will continue over what to do in such cases.

Rod Dreher wrote a "it could have been me" editorial for the Dallas Morning News today (free registration required).

So I was saved twice by friendship during my teenage years, and by having the grace to respond to lifelines when they were thrown.

Still, it's a little frightening to think about how things might have turned out for me had I continued drifting down that dark river, until I'd lost sight of the last human settlement. Was Cho ever thrown a lifeline? Was he too lost in a fog of self-pity and loneliness that he couldn't see it when it was thrown?

Along with my horror and sorrow over the massacre, I also had felt a profound tiredness from the beginning at the thought of the experts, the analyses, the "what if's," the "it could have been me" stories that we now would be subjected to ... all of which would solve exactly nothing.

It is not that the various solutions I have read about would do no good. Undoubtedly it would be a very good thing if we were nicer to that loner, reached out and fought harder to get help to a troubled person, tried through personal example to help our culture regain some of the social strictures that probably reduced these sorts of incidents in the past, or put a few sane controls on gun laws (I'm all for the right to bear arms, but semi-automatics? Let's get real here. And as for the Europeans clucking about violent American society ... Cho's guns were manufactured in Austria and Germany. How about taking a look at their contributions to our problem?). However, there will always be some people that these things will not help, no matter how well the solutions were applied.

My own thoughts (undoubtedly as lacking as everyone else's) coincide amazingly with Scott Blow's column in the Dallas Morning News this morning.

When I first began to educate myself about mental illness, 20 years ago or more, I repeatedly encountered a calming assurance:

"People with mental illness are no more dangerous than society at large, except perhaps to themselves."

That was part of the campaign to remove the stigma from mental illness. After all, hadn't pop culture always depicted "crazy people" with an ax in hand?

While I applaud the ongoing effort to erase that stigma, I wonder if we didn't let the safety assurance lull us into a certain complacency about mental illness.

For the moment, Cho Seung-Hui has blasted us from our complacency.

And though I would never want to go back to the days when "murder" and "mental illness" were synonymous, must we continue to shrug off these rampages by "misfits" and "loners" as inevitable?

They are not.

One thing about mental illness is known for sure: Treatment works. People with mental illnesses can be helped.

I see that NAMI – the National Alliance on Mental Illness – has slightly adjusted its basic statement. "People under treatment for mental illness are no more dangerous than society at large," NAMI legal director Ron Honberg told me yesterday.

"Under treatment" – a couple of very important added words.

Go read it all (free registration required).

As someone who has dealt with mental illness suffered by a family member, as have many people I have been surprised to find out), sometimes they are just sick. There is no rhyme or reason to their thoughts or feelings. They are sick. We would remove plague carriers from the general population to protect society and we should give serious consideration to doing the same to those with mental illness. It is no kindness to these tortured souls to let them suffer when they can be helped and sometimes they just can't see clearly that they need help. In our case, our family member did alert us and I thank God often for their clarity of thought that had them asking for immediate assistance.

Now I have fallen into the same trap as everyone else and given a solution ... which is no real solution at all. However, it might make life better for some people, and maybe not only for those who are the immediate sufferers.

As to the problem of evil, I still ponder it. Or rather my reactions to it. Knowing why evil has been committed should not make the evil seem less than that with no obvious motivation. But it does somehow, at least to me. I think that is a problem with my spiritual eyesight that I need to be aware of and ponder some more.

Poetry Thursday

Not only is it poetry month but Monkey reminds us that it is Grilled Cheese Month! Woohoo! Naturally Monkey makes sure we have some poetry available for this auspicious time.

UNTITLED
Low fat, no, fat, low carb fare
No salt, less salt, do we dare
No bland , flavorless, dry arse cheese
I prefer the kind that blocks arteries
So its fattening that’s for sure
Life is short as it were
Use any kind of bread you like
But sourdough is a gourmet delight
Pile some mayo on the side
Dip it in and open wide
So when I hit the pearly gates
I’ll pray a grilled cheese sandwich awaits.

by Kc

April is Poetry Month

The Common Room is reminding us of that fact. Not being a real poetry lover, I still do manage to find some examples that I enjoy. For instance, Will Duquette's splendid example ...

The horrible thing about Smeagols
Is Smeagols are horrible things.
Their eyes they are made out of lanterns (my Precious)
Their hair it is made out of strings.

Thievesie, Sneaksie, Tricksy, Precious,
Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!

But the most horrible thing about Smeagols
Is their Precious for which they pine.

Well, that and the throttling, and the eating raw meat, and the treachery,
and….

– J.R.R. Milne, The Mount at Doom Corner
(a.k.a. Ian Hamet and Will Duquette)

Check out his comments box ... to paraphrase one commenter, "What has it gots in its commentses, precious? Not more of that horrid poetry?!

Words, words, words ...

Here I always thought that I was fairly well educated and knew quite a few seldom used words. However, pride goeth before a fall, as we should all know and The Common Room is proving just how little I really know in the way of words.

In the course of reviewing a book (yet another for my long list), a discussion begins about what a paucity of words the modern writers and readers know. The long list of words in the post had few that I had ever seen before.

This was followed later by a list of definitions which was enlightening.

This seems to have led to a trend of word-spotting as we see here.

Obviously I am reading books that are much too modern and suffer from lack of vocabulary.

Gone for the Weekend

It's Texas A&M Aggie Parent's Weekend so we are trekking down to College Station.

I leave you with a few good links for your weekend reading:

• Bloggers' Choice Awards: it looks as if St. Blog's Parish has dashed to the rescue, thanks to Father S's Paul Revere ride through the blogosphere yesterday. If you haven't swung by, do go and vote for as many blogs as you like. I found some great new ones by browsing the categories a bit.
  
  
• Finding Joy in the Darkest Night: The Divine Abandonment of Mother Teresa. David Scott, who wrote so beautifully and insightfully about Mother Teresa in Revolution of Love asks if Mother Teresa was faking her joy when she was suffering her dark night of the soul.
  
  
• Anniversary of a Catholic Victory Over a Dictator by John Allen tells the little known story of seven courageous bishops in Malawi who stood toe-to-toe, facing death, and made their country's dictator back down. Would that God gave us more bishops like that.
  
  
• Book Review: A Practical Commentary on Holy Scripture, by Bishop Knecht. I have had this book for some time but only recently picked it up and really perused it. Initially I was thinking of giving it away but after taking a good look, realized that it is a treasure, albeit one that I had unfairly discounted as being from too many years ago to be relevant. As I discovered, that was unfair. This review is spot on.

Three Basic Explanations for Evil

This is all fascinating but especially the definition of "knowledge" at the end. Don't miss that even if you don't usually read excerpts. It puts a whole new spin on original sin.

There are only three basic explanations for evil. It is to be blamed either on God above us, nature below us, or us. Genesis 3 rejects the two convenient excuses that either God or evolution made us this way. The message of Genesis 3 is that the buck stops here. The finger that points blame is curved one hundred and eighty degrees.

Jews, who have and believe this Scripture just as Christians do, say they do not believe in "original sin" because they think of that doctrine as Calvinism, as a denial of the goodness of God's creation even when defaced by sin. But Genesis 3 does not teach Calvinistic "total depravity" (except in the sense that we are totally unable to save ourselves without divine grace, which is also taught in Orthodox Judaism). Rather, the forbidden fruit was "the knowledge of good and evil," not pure evil. There's still a little good in the worst of us, but also a little bad in the best of us.

By the way, the word knowledge here means "experience." God wanted to keep us from the knowledge of good-and-evil that comes from experiencing and tasting it (thus the image of eating fruit), not from the knowledge that understands it. The same word is used in Genesis 4 for sexual intercourse: Adam "knew" Eve, and the result was not a book but a baby.

You Can Understand the Bible
A Practical And Illuminating Guide To Each Book In The Bible
by Peter Kreeft

First of All, Atheism Isn't a Religion: Bloggers' Choice Awards

Fr. Stephanos sent an email that an atheist blog is winning in the category of "Best Religion Blog"at the Bloggers Choice Awards.

Now that just ain't right. As the daughter of two atheists I can tell you that atheism is all about not having anything to do with religion ... especially blog about it!

So, let's set this straight. Get over there and vote for some blogger who has a real honest-to-goodness claim to the award. I see that there is pretty good representation from St. Blog's Parish over there.

Which brings me to another email I received. Dear Mrs. Darwin nominated Happy Catholic. I see that I have four votes (which puts it back on about page 8). Very exciting! So if you aren't sure who to vote for, remember where you read this! (Don't make me get out the Jamaican bobsledders and start kissing the egg, y'all! ha!)

Looking for Truth and Finding the Church: Two Conversion Stories

So as far as I can remember, I have always “known” that Catholics were in a false religion that was leading them straight to Hell as Catholics did not rely on Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

I wish I never had to repeat this because it is so painful and tragic, but it is true and indicative of how lost I thought the Church was. When both Mother Teresa and Pope John Paul II died, I was saddened and I thought “Now they know they were wrong.” Forgive me Father.

You wouldn't believe that anyone could go from this to wearing a huge grin because she was confirmed in the Church last weekend. But people, and the way that God leads them, are endlessly surprising. This is a fascinating story about a family that converted from The Church of the Nazarene to Catholicism. It was especially interesting to me since I had a good friend in high school who was a member of The Church of the Nazarene and I went with her for about two years.

I found this fascinating in that they had anti-Catholicism drilled into them (if any Catholics were Christians it was in spite of being Catholic) and yet the woman had enough of a quest for truth to move beyond it and read herself into the church (and argue her husband there with her). I love someone who just won't quit looking until they have found the truthful answers to their questions. Her reading list is one that will be a good resource to anyone who wants to help Protestant friends who are looking into crossing the Tiber.

A few years later, a friend of mine became a Catholic. He’d grown up mostly Baptist, Reformed, or Reformed Baptist and had had his share of struggling with his faith. His family was mostly Baptist and his father worked at the school with me, so it was a pretty big shock. For many of his “Christian” friends, it meant that he’d abandoned his faith and was no better than a heretic or non-Christian. I wanted to give him, if not the benefit of the doubt, then at least some room to discuss why he’d chosen this spiritual route. Rather than just abandoning him because he’d “fallen away.”

That meant I needed to put away my anti-Catholic preconceptions and take a new look at what it was he said he believed. Which meant looking at what the Catholic Church says it teaches. Not what nominal Catholics believe or what I see in movies or hear antagonists say about it, but what the Catholic Church officially teaches. If you’re going to learn about a belief system, it’s a good idea to start with their own official teachings. THEN you can evaluate whether or not you think them credible or worthwhile. But you certainly can’t make an unbiased decision when your only information sources are biased against them.

I have never seen such a thorough, planned study as the one that Coffee Klatch outlines in this story. Just reading his list of items to research wore me out. Thank heavens I was into much more basic wrestling when I converted. I'd never have finished the reading. What makes this so interesting to me (besides the fact that any conversion story is an interesting story) is that one by one we are given the reasons why Scripture itself refutes anti-Catholic arguments. The author doesn't always specifically spell out all the Protestant beliefs that his studies refuted, however, to anyone who is used to the basic sort of arguments, it is very clear. Not only is this inspiring but it is a wonderful resource as well. (Note: apologies to Scott ... obviously I hadn't come across his name and so was writing "her" when it should have been "him.")

The God Who Creates Out of Nothing

Genesis begins not just with the beginning of something, but with the beginning of everything. Its first verse uses a word for which there is no equivalent in any other ancient language. The word is bara'. It means not just to make but to create, not just to re-form something new out of something old, but to create something wholly new that was simply not there before. Only God can create, for creation in the literal sense (out of nothing) requires infinite power, since there is an infinite gap between nothing and something. Startling as it may seem, no other people every had creation stories in the true sense of the word, only formation stories. The Jewish notion of creation is a radically distinctive notion in the history of human thought. When Jewish theologians like Philo and later Christian theologians (who learned it from the Jews) told the Greeks about it, they were often ridiculed.

Yet the consequences of this notion of creation are incomparable. They include radically new notions (1) of God, (2) of nature, and (3) of human beings and human life.

You Can Understand the Bible
A Practical And Illuminating Guide To Each Book In The Bible
by Peter Kreeft

This is right in line with what our priest spoke about in his Easter homily. He pointed out that the very fact that makes the resurrection so true is that the gospels repeatedly report that the apostles themselves didn't believe in it until Jesus showed up in person. Like any sensible person, they knew that in and of itself coming back from the dead is an unbelievable fact. The only thing that would make anyone go around proclaiming something so obviously ludicrous is if it is real.

So God has been doing the inexplicable since the very beginning. As always, Jesus showed us God up close and personal ... by doing the inexplicable in his resurrection.

Uncle

I just can't do it.

I know it's a classic.

I realize it's a fault in my intellect.

I have tried and tried ... and tried.

But I can't force myself to try any longer to read A Canticle for Leibowitz.

I give up.

The God of the Old Testament

The Old Testament story distinguishes Judaism (and Christianity) from all other religions of the world in two main ways. First, we find here a religion based on historical facts, not just abstract ideas and ideals or mystical experiences. Second, the God of the Old Testament differs from the gods of other religions in at least four important ways:

1. Only a few individuals in the ancient world, like Socrates in Greece and Ahkenaton in Egypt, rose above their society's polytheism (belief in many gods) to monotheism (belief in one God) like the Jews.
   


2. Only the Jews had the knowledge of a God who created the entire universe out of nothing.
   


3. Other peoples separated religion and morality. Only the God of the Bible was perfectly good, righteous, and holy as well as the Giver of the moral law, demanding moral goodness in all men.


4. These differences are accounted for by a fourth one: although other peoples sometimes arrived at profound truths about God by their imagination (myth), their reason (philosophy), and their experience (mysticism), they mixed these truths with falsehoods because they did not have a word from God Himself. Other religions tell of man's search for God; the Bible tells of God's search for man. Other religions tell timeless truths about God; the Bible tells of God's deeds in time, in history.
   

You Can Understand the Bible
A Practical And Illuminating Guide To Each Book In The Bible
by Peter Kreeft

Why I Read the The Class Factotum

She's so darned funny.

Go forth and sin no more

The difference between SH’s sins and mine (in our respective worlds):

Mine get me sent to hell.

His ensure he is held in disdain by the cultural elite and will never be invited to another party in San Francisco again.

What are these sins?

I violate some – not all – of the Ten Commandments that God gave to Moses with regularity.

He violates of the ten commandments handed down from the extreme Left:

1. Thou shalt worship Fidel Castro
2. Thou shalt not eat flesh, especially veal or foie gras
3. Thou shalt not wear leather, unless it is in the form of Birkenstocks
4. Thou shalt take public transportation, or, if that is not available, drive a Prius
5. Thou shalt believe wholeheartedly the hysteria about global warming
6. Thou shalt believe that every other culture is superior to the US and that the US is the cause of all evil in the world
7. Thou shalt recycle
8. Thou shalt not smoke, unless it be marijuana
9. Thou shalt replace all incandescent lightbulbs with the spirally expensive kind
10. Thou shall eat only organic

Go thou and read likewise.

Ten Tips for Reading the Bible Profitably

1. At first, forget commentaries and books that try to tell you what the Bible means. Read the Bible itself. Get it "straight from the horse's mouth." Data first. The Bible is the most interesting book ever written, but some of the books about it are among the dullest.


2. Read repeatedly. You can never exhaust the riches in this deep mine. The greatest saints, sages, theologians, and philosophers have not exhausted its gold; you won't either.


3. First read through a book quickly, to get an overall idea; then go back and reread more slowly and carefully. Don't rush. Forget time. Relish. Ponder. Meditate. Think. Question. Sink slowly into the spiritual sea and swim in it. Soul-surf its waves.
   


4. Try to read without prejudice. Let the author speak to you. Don't impose your ideas on the book. Listen first before you talk back.


5. Once you have listened, do talk back. Dialogue with the Author as if He were standing right in front of you -- because He is. Ask Him questions and go to His Book to see how He answers. God is a good teacher, and a good teacher wants his students to ask questions.


6. Don't confuse understanding with evaluating. That is, don't confuse interpretation with critique. First understand, then evaluate. This sounds simple, but it is harder to do than you probably think. For instance, many readers interpret the Bible's miracle stories as myths because they don't believe in miracles. But that is simply bad interpretation. Whether or not miracles really happened, the first question is what was the author trying to say. Was he telling a parable, fable or myth? Or was he telling a story that he claimed really happened? Whether you agree with him or not is the second question, not the first. Keep first things first. Don't say "I don't believe Jesus literally rose from the dead, therefore I interpret the Resurrection as a myth." The Gospel writers did not mean to write myth but fact. If the Resurrection didn't happen, it is not a myth. It is a lie. And if it did happen, it is not a myth. It is a fact.


7. Keep in mind these four questions, then, and ask them in this order: First, what does the passage say? That is the data. Second, what does it mean? What did the author mean? That is the interpretation. Third, is it true? That is the question of belief. Fourth, so what? What difference does it make to me, to my life now? That is the question of application.


8. Look for "the big picture," the main point. Don't lose the forest for the trees. Don't get hung up on a few specific points or passages. Interpret each passage in its context, including the context of the whole Bible.


9. After you have read a passage, go back and analyze it. Outline it. Define it. Get it clear. Don't be satisfied with a nice, vague feeling. Find the thought, and the structures of the thought.


10. Be honest -- in reading any book, but especially this one, because of its total claims on you. There is only one honest reason for believing the Bible: because it is true, not because it is helpful, or beautiful, or comforting, or challenging, or useful, or even good. It it's not true, no honest person should believe it, even if it were all those other things. And if it is, every honest person should, even if it weren't [all those other things]. Seek the truth and you will find it. That's a promise (see Mt. 7:7).
    

You Can Understand the Bible
A Practical And Illuminating Guide To Each Book In The Bible
by Peter Kreeft

This is good for me to consider especially since I have a tendency to read the commentaries over reading the actual Bible itself. *for shame!*

Inspiration Resources 7 & 8

A series of good resources to try out for inspiration and formation (it begins here as well as a description of my inspiration for the series).

INSPIRATION
Maced with Grace
Specifically, I am recommending Hey Jules' way with connecting photography and her faith. She isn't Catholic but she isn't focusing on anything denominational. Rather she looks at the world around her and finds God ... which often starts with her photographs and musings.

INSTRUCTION
10 Best Books for New Catholics
Literary Compass has a very good list of basic books that I think are good not only for new Catholics but for any Catholics. Sometimes we need to get back to the basics in order to remember why we are Christians and Catholics in the first place.

* Unless otherwise mentioned, any podcasts or audio can be downloaded to your computer (using the right click mouse button) and listened to there or burned to a CD if you don't have a mp3 player. I mention iTunes because that is what I use, however most of these also can be found through other podcatchers (usually mentioned on their sites).

A View of Heaven

The Shire

A couple of weeks ago we were mentioning our imaginings of Heaven. I realized that many of the descriptions of the protected places in The Lord of the Rings, both from the books and also as portrayed in the Peter Jackson movies, also seem like a bit of heaven to me. In The Shire we are shown the homey comforts. Reading about Bilbo's hobbit hole makes one long to be there. Similarly, we are given glimpses of grace and glory beyond our imagining in the views of such places that the Elves inhabit and that men of Elder Days created.

The Grey Havens

As soon as he set foot upon the far bank of Silverlode a strange feeling had come upon him, and it deepened as he walked on into the Naith: it seemed to him that he had stepped over a bridge of time into a corner of the Elder Days, and was now walking in a world that was no more. In Rivendell there was memory of ancient things; in Lorien the ancient things still lived on in the waking world. Evil had been seen and heard there, sorrow had been known; the Elves feared and distrusted the world outside: wolves were howling on the wood's borders: but on the land of Lorien no shadow lay. ...

... Frodo looked up and caught his breath. They were standing in an open space. To the left stood a great mound, covered with a sward of grass as green as Springtime in the Elder Days. Upon it, as a double crown, grew two circles of trees; the outer had bark of snowy white, and were leafless but beautiful in their shapely nakedness; the inner were mallorn-trees of great height, still arrayed in pale gold. High amid the branches of a towering tree that stood in the centre of all there gleamed a white flet. At the feet of the trees, and all about the green hillsides the grass was studded with small golden flowers shaped like stars. Among them, nodding on slender stalks, were other flowers, white and palest green: they glimmered as a mist amid the rich hue of the grass. Over all the sky was blue, and the sun of afternoon glowed upon the hill and cast long green shadows beneath the trees. ...

The others cast themselves down upon the fragrant grass, but Frodo stood awhile still lost in wonder. It seemed to him that he had stepped through a high window that looked on a vanished world. A light was upon it for which his language had no name. All that he saw was shapely, but the shapes seemed at once clear cut, as if they had been first conceived and drawn at the uncovering of his eyes, and ancient as if they had endured for ever. He saw no colour but those he knew, gold and white and blue and green, but they were fresh and poignant, as if he had at that moment first perceived them and made for them names new and wonderful. In winter here no heart could mourn for summer of for spring. no blemish or sickness or deformity could be seen in anything that grew upon the earth. On the land of Lorien there was no stain.

He turned and saw that Sam was now standing beside him, looking round with a puzzled expression, and rubbing his eyes as if he was not sure that he was awake. "It's sunlight and bright day, right enough," he said. "I thought that Elves were all for moon and stars: but this is more elvish than anything I ever heard tell of. I feel as I was inside a song, if you take my meaning."

The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien

Rivendell

I Hope I'm Still Holy From Last Night ...

... I think the world might be coming to an end.

It's snowing.

And getting thicker.

In April. In Texas.

What was that about global warming? Hmmm?

Veneration of the Cross... O my people...

O my people, what have I done to thee, or in what have I grieved thee? Answer Me. Because I brought thee out of the land of Egypt, thou hast prepared a cross for thy Savior.

O Holy God! O Holy Mighty One! O Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us.

Because I was thy guide through the desert for forty years, and fed thee with manna, and brought thee into an excellent land, thou hast prepared a cross for thy Savior.

O Holy God! O Holy Mighty One! O Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us.

What more should I have done to thee, and have not done? I have planted thee for My most beautiful vineyard: and thou hast proved very bitter to Me, for in My thirst thou gavest Me vinegar to drink; and didst pierce the side of thy Savior with a spear.

O Holy God! O Holy Mighty One! O Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us.

For thy sake I scourged Egypt with her first-born; and thou hast delivered Me up to be scourged.

O my people, what have done to thee, or in what have I grieved thee? Answer Me.

I led thee out of Egypt, having drowned the Pharoah in the Red Sea; and thou hast delivered Me up to the chief priests.

O my people, what have done to thee, or in what have I grieved thee? Answer Me.

I opened the sea before thee; and thou hast opened My side with a spear.

O my people, what have done to thee, or in what have I grieved thee? Answer Me.

I went before thee in a pillar of cloud; and thou hast brought Me to the court of Pilate.

O my people, what have done to thee, or in what have I grieved thee? Answer Me.

I fed thee with manna in the desert; and thou hast beaten Me with buffets and stripes.

O my people, what have done to thee, or in what have I grieved thee? Answer Me.

I gave thee wholesome water to drink out of the rock, and thou hast given for My drink gall and vinegar.

O my people, what have done to thee, or in what have I grieved thee? Answer Me.

For thy sake I smote the kings of Chanaan; and thou has smitten My head with a reed.

O my people, what have done to thee, or in what have I grieved thee? Answer Me.

I gave thee a royal scepter; and thou hast given to My head a crown of thorns.

O my people, what have done to thee, or in what have I grieved thee? Answer Me.

With great might I raised thee on high; and thou hast hanged Me on the gibbet of the cross.

O my people, what have I done to thee, or in what have I grieved thee? Answer Me.

It is easy to forget about going to the Veneration of the Cross on Good Friday. Holy Thursday has all the images that are memorable with the washing of the feet, the procession of the Holy Eucharist, Adoration, and more.

When it comes to the Veneration of the Cross, I only ever remember that everyone goes up to kiss the cross. Oh, right, and there is communion, though not Mass, using hosts that were consecrated on Holy Thursday. It is only when the service is in progress that I remember, "Oh yes, the priests fully prostrate themselves before the altar ... oh yes, the reading of St. John's passion gospel ... oh, yes, and now we kneel and now we stand, over and over..." (as we pray for the entire world, bit by bit, beginning with the Catholic church and working our way outward to those who don't believe in God at all).

I actually was grateful for all that standing and kneeling as I came wide awake at 4:00 on Friday morning and was in great danger of nodding off during the homily, though Fr. S. was probably the best I've ever heard in terms of being focused and giving a good message. We then went into the long prayer and the constant physical activity woke me up. (Though I must add a warning to the ladies that it is highly recommended not to cut your knee shaving your legs on the morning of all that kneeling. Oy veh!)

This year the Gospel of the Passion was chanted by three choir members dressed in cassocks (or whatever one calls those lacy white garments over the black robes). It was compelling, beautiful, and forced us to slow down and really absorb what those very familiar passages really meant to us.

A large cross is held by the priest and brought to the front of the church with stops in the back, middle and front, while he sings, "Behold the wood of the cross on which hung the savior of the world!" Choir and congregation respond, "Come, let us worship." This was sung by Fr. L. from the choir loft and his voice had a strength and range that was beautiful and moving. During the veneration, the choir sang traditional chants, and I have never heard them sing more beautifully. We are very blessed by their donation of their considerable talents, as well as those of our music director who exhorts them to such heights. This morning, over and over, my memory sings to me those beautiful tones, "O my people, o my church ..."

It is a somber but moving thing to go forward and kiss the cross, to venerate it as the instrument that Christ used to save us. It is also inspirational to watch the long lines of people coming forward to kiss the cross, some matter of factly, some weeping. Again I was so saddened but yet so grateful and glad that Christ had given Himself for me. In the midst of a sad period, into my head popped the thought, "Julie, I wanted to give you freedom."

And, truly he has. I only wish that I used my freedom better. This is another power of the Triduum, to reinvigorate our resolutions to follow a higher path, keeping our eyes on Christ as our model and guide.

I strongly encourage anyone who has not experienced this to consider going next year. In fact, I encourage anyone who wants to be immersed in the truth and depth of the Passion and the soaring joy of Easter to attend both Holy Thursday and Good Friday at a Catholic church, whether you are Catholic or not. (Just don't take communion; you can go to the altar to be blessed instead). Believe me, when I say that is why so many people, myself included, consider the Triduum to be the most beautiful and uplifting services of the entire year (Triduum: Holy Thursday, Good Friday and the Saturday Vigil ... I admit I skip the Saturday Vigil and go on Easter Sunday morning instead).

3:00 p.m.

Wow.

Made it hit home.

Made me cry.

So sad and yet so very, very grateful to Him at the same time.

Holy Thursday and a Prayer Answered

Last night was so solemn, so symbolically rich, so very ... Catholic.

For those who don't know, incorporated into the liturgy of the Mass is the washing of the feet of twelve by the priest. After the Mass, the altar is completely cleaned of everything (candlesticks and all). The Holy Eucharist is then taken in solemn procession throughout the church around the entire congregation. Afterward, the Eucharist is placed in a special place for adoration until midnight, that we may wait with Him in prayer.

There were three priests, three deacons, three seminarians, and three altar servers and all due ceremony was given, including the liberal use of incense. The only flaw in the ointment for me was the also liberal use of Haugen-Haas music. The richness of the liturgy stood as a contrast to show how very shallow and lacking that music is. The choir made it sound as good as it possibly could and their clear talent was allowed to shine through when we sang St. Thomas Aquinas' Tantum ergo sacramentum in Latin (the first 4 verses repeated during the procession and the last two after the Eucharist was installed in the adoration space, not merely what is shown in the link). The final song, although with the clear potential for banality when merely reading the words, was arranged and sung with such beauty and sensitivity that the choir overcame the material. A special bonus was getting to hear Laura sing. What a talent she has! To think that all this time I had no idea what a "voice" I knew. (It was like a St. Thomas blogging convention at that Mass ... Stevie helped clear off the altar and I bet that Veronica was around somewhere though there was such a crush of people I didn't see her ... and, truth to tell, everyone's attention was elsewhere than checking out the crowd.)

As for the prayer answered, it was if the Holy Spirit was flowing over us like a river. At least that is how it was for Rose and me. Fr. L. is a homilist of inspired talents. When listening to him, I often think that I have a taste of what it must have been like to be privileged to hear St. John Chrysostom (whose name means golden tongued) or St. Anthony (who when the people would not listen preached to the ocean and had the fish come to listen) or St. Ambrose who was so eloquent that he converted my favorite St. Augustine (who, himself was no slouch with words).

At any rate, he kept making the point that tied all the scripture together in a timeless tale of God's goodness and love for us. "This is what God has done for us," he said repeatedly. "Not for people from a long time ago, not for the ancient Israelites ... but for us." Of course, there was more because it is not as if that is a point I have never heard. However, hearing those words, "this is what God has done for us," was like an electric shock to my system. Somehow, for a few seconds, there was a slight lifting of the veil between the seen and unseen. I flashed on John C. Wright's mystical glimpse and it all tied together a bit to make me somehow grasp, oh so briefly and oh so slightly, God's timelessness and love in instituting the Eucharist for us (believe me, this was not nearly at the level that Wright saw, but through a thick dark veil...).

During this experience... I saw and experienced part of the workings of a mind infinitely superior to mine, a mind able to count every atom in the universe, filled with paternal love and jovial good humor. The cosmos created by the thought of this mind was as intricate as a symphony, with themes and reflections repeating themselves forward and backward through time: prophecy is the awareness that a current theme is the foreshadowing of the same theme destined to emerge with greater clarity later. A prophet is one who is in tune, so to speak, with the music of the cosmos.

Throughout Lent, and especially lately, I have been praying to know, love and serve Jesus better. It is funny that Rose and I were discussing before Mass began that we did not have what one would call a "devotion" to Jesus. I always am more comfortable with God the Father or the Holy Spirit and often must struggle to find my way to that one of the three-in-one who actually has shared our humanity. (Yes, I'm weird ... but at least I know it.) I also have accepted the fact that I can love Jesus and not feel it. After all, love is not all about feelings and I know that too.

However, last night I was suddenly flooded with an intense love for Jesus and such a sorrow for the times I have turned my back on Him ... it was literally overwhelming. I also felt such a sadness at all the grief and suffering and sin of the world. This was a gentler feeling mixed with love and compassion as I watched everyone come for Communion and thought how alike we all are ... in our love for God, in our failings, and in our need.

Meanwhile, beside me, Rose was intermittently struggling with being overcome with emotion and that is not at all typical. A fine pair we made, sniffling, red eyed ... and not a tissue between us. Sheez! I will certainly bring some tonight to Mass and, therefore, doubtless will remain dry-eyed the entire time.

Afterwards we stayed in Adoration for a bit and then drove home, confiding our experiences to each other. We entered the house to find that Hannah was home for the Easter weekend ... and all was joy again. A homey, down-to-earth family joy, but joy nonetheless.

God is good.

UPDATE: Prayers for My Father

Thanks to everyone who has so kindly commented or emailed me and is praying for my father. He is feeling better now thanks to some stopgap medication for symptoms. However, he still has to undergo some testing to confirm whether he has nonalcoholic fatty liver disease or not. Any further prayers are much appreciated as a certain well-known stubborn streak is at work, especially about any more medical tests, and my mother's patience and ingenuity is much tried.

I have been passing emails on to my mother and she has been very touched by the evident community at work. Thank you also for that visible sign of God's love at work in the world.

Lino's Blogger Today ... It's Me!

I'm going to be interviewed on "The Catholic Guy," hosted by Lino Rulli, to discuss Happy Catholic live around 5:00 ET (which is 4:00 to me). It airs on The Catholic Channel on Sirius Satellite Radio, 159. They have a blogger a day on there ... now if only I had it so I could hear what some of my favorite bloggers sound like!


He's going to shave his head on the day after Easter ...

St. Baldrick's is a charity that raises money for kids with cancer by shaving peoples heads. And out of the blue, a caller dialed in to say he'd give $250 "for Lino Rulli's head". We presume he meant for me to shave my head, and not actually for my head on a platter (though the latter is more Biblical). When asked why he wanted to see my head shaved, he said "I don't know, I thought it'd be funny."

The photo is of a previous shaved head moment for Lino. He's holding up one finger for the number of people who thought he looked good that way. He needs to change that to two ... I like that look on him (very Prison Break-ish ... and we all know how I feel about Prison Break. Right?)

Lenten Lessons Learned

I realized this morning that there was one idea repeated to me over and over in different ways throughout Lent. Avoid distractions and get on with the business of the moment now ... not later, don't spend time thinking about it, just do it.

The first holy 2x4 came when I read this a couple of weeks ago.

We have to ask God: What are You calling me to do now, in this Present Moment? Not yesterday or tomorrow, but right now. God's will is manifested to us in the duties and experiences of the Present Moment. We have only to accept them and try to be like Jesus in them.

Mother Angelica

It has popped into my mind again and again whenever I needed something to prompt me out of daydreaming, cruising the internet, or basically to drag my attention back to what was going on at the moment (such as Mass for example). Yesterday, I read this.

The Lord led me to St Alfonso di Liguori's little book Uniformity with God's Will. The Saint recommends the use of the words "Lord, what will you have me do?"

As soon as I read this, I asked the question. The answer was simple and direct and easy to obey. There was nothing "holy" about the action - it was in fact to have lunch. But after a morning of chaotic random action, the day suddenly came into focus. Still asking the question, I spent a short time in prayer after lunch, had a 15 minute nap, and then commenced writing this posting.

Si Fractus Fortis

Asking myself this question when I read it, the answer was just as simple as that given to Si Fractus Fortis. Quit reading blogs and get back to work. As with his follow up today I have felt focussed and productive.

That is something I have been struggling with for ... oh, a very long time. I had been asking Jesus for help with this for some time, knowing that it doesn't seem like a big problem but also knowing that this was a big one for me. We each have our own cross, our own special paths of temptation and this has been mine.

And He answered.

The answer is simple, of course. Unexpectedly simple. But so effective.

Yes, I must apply the answer. Must do the work of reminding myself to stay in the Present Moment and then to ask that question, "Lord, what will you have me do?" And then do it.

But I have been given the tools I needed.

For prayers answered, I gratefully give thanks.

And now I must get on with work, which is what the Lord would have me to do right now (not to mention that also also being the preference of my clients and co-workers!).

Which Father Am I?

You are St. Justin Martyr!

You have a positive and hopeful attitude toward the world. You think that nature, history, and even the pagan philosophers were often guided by God in preparation for the Advent of the Christ. You find “seeds of the Word” in unexpected places. You’re patient and willing to explain the faith to unbelievers.

Check out St. Justin Martyr: The First and Second Apologies for more information on St. Justin Martyr.

Via Mike Aquilina, who else?

Inspiration Resources #5 & 6

A series of good resources to try out for inspiration and formation (it begins here as well as a description of my inspiration for the series).

INSPIRATION
Jeremiah, Tell Me 'Bout the Fire
This video is only about five minutes long but packs a punch whenever I watch it (and I'm not just saying that because Rose created it).

INSTRUCTION
Understanding the Scriptures*
As the instructor in this Scripture study says, it sucks the fog out of understanding the New Testament by showing how integrally it is linked to the Old Testament. Going through the Bible book by book, following Scott Hahn's "Understanding the Scriptures" book, this class is perfect for anyone who can't make it to a regular Scripture study ... or, as in my case, also perfect even for those who do make it to a regular study. Just listening to Lesson 10 as I did this morning uncovered so many ways that Mary is shown by Luke to be the Ark of the Covenant that I never had heard of before. A really good resource.

* Unless otherwise mentioned, any podcasts or audio can be downloaded to your computer (using the right click mouse button) and listened to there or burned to a CD if you don't have a mp3 player. I mention iTunes because that is what I use, however most of these also can be found through other podcatchers (usually mentioned on their sites).

Bones and Catholics

No, not skeleton bones. The television show featuring David Boreanaz who used to be on Angel and is the reason Rose and I first tried watching Bones. Ahem ... I think it is pretty clear why we followed him from one show to the other.

Bones

Anyone else watching Bones? Until this season it has been a guilty pleasure. However, this season's writing has kept the enjoyable aspects of characters' interaction while improving on the plots. One of the most pleasing things for me is that Agent Booth (David Boreanaz' character) is unabashedly Catholic and not backwards about defending his faith in the face of Dr. Brennan's detached scientific atheism.

The last episode's murder was discovered in a Catholic cemetery and focussed on the old-style priest as a main suspect. He was everything that makes someone dislike that "old-style" yet in the end, as the real murderer confessed to him, he took responsibility for his attitudes of anger and pride that influenced their actions. I was afraid that he would be portrayed simply as a stereotype but they moved beyond that.

As well, there was a moment when Dr. Brennan says that the younger priest seems like a sensible man who didn't believe in superstition. I was stunned when he smiled and said, "Superstitious? Well if you mean believing in the resurrection, the Holy Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and the transubstantiation of the Host ... I do." (This is from memory as is all dialogue from this ... funny ) I'm trying to think of when I ever heard someone use the word transubstantiation ... and then respectfully ... on a regular television show.

Or how about when Dr. Brennan was going to step on the altar and Booth cries out, "Don't step on the altar. Have some respect." A few minutes later, when it becomes apparent that the chalice is the murder weapon and Dr. Brennan is going to grab it, Booth yells, "No! Don't touch that chalice. That's where the wine changes into the Sacred Blood of Christ."

How about that? Nothing about "we believe" or "it is supposed to." Just simply stated as a fact from a believing Catholic. Granted, a Catholic who has strayed as we see in other shows, but one who knows the nuts and bolts of what's important in being Catholic. Refreshing and a welcome change!

Inspiration Resources #3 & 4

A series of good resources to try out for inspiration and formation (1 & 2 are here as well as a description of my inspiration for the series).

INSPIRATION
Praying With the Church: A Catholic Podcast*
This podcast's self-description is exactly right: recordings of the Catholic faith as well as discussion and meditation on those prayers and prayer in general. The thing I like about this podcast is that each prayer is recorded separately with meditative music behind it. A follow-up episode features that prayer and a brief discussion of origin and explanation. I am leaving the separate prayers on my iPod in a prayer playlist. Maybe I will finally memorize The Act of Contrition this way!

INSTRUCTION
Into the Deep*
It is a conversation between three Catholic men about various methods of growing closer to God. I love these guys. They are humble and sincere in their desire to be closer to God, while at the same time being honest enough about real life that they spend some of the time laughing at their own foibles (and that makes me laugh and recognize my own foibles too). In their own words:

Into The Deep is a podcast designed to be a resource to those who wish to spread the saving message of Jesus Christ as faithfully transmitted by the Church. This means that it is applicable to every Baptized Christian, as we all share a common commission to evangelize the world.

I have almost all of their episodes (I am always one or two behind). They tend to work in series of discussions which is helpful for those desirous of focusing on subjects such as prayer or humility. As these three men are Catholics there are various mentions of such things as the rosary but overall these podcasts would help any Christian desirous of strengthening their prayer life and their relationship with God.

Their blog also is good as they don't stop at simply posting info and links about their podcast. They keep it lively with writing on other subjects that catch their eye in living the faith.

* Unless otherwise mentioned, any podcasts or audio can be downloaded to your computer (using the right click mouse button) and listened to there or burned to a CD if you don't have a mp3 player. I mention iTunes because that is what I use, however most of these also can be found through other podcatchers (usually mentioned on their sites).

Resources 5 & 6: here.

Anglican Bishop Herzog Comes Home to Rome

In other words, he has returned to full communion with the Catholic Church. Welcome back, Bishop!

This has been seen all over the place in St. Blog's Parish. However, once again, I realized that doesn't mean that everyone has seen it since Tom hadn't heard of it ... so here's the scoop straight from another notable convert's mouth. The Pontificator says:

The Rt. Rev. Daniel Herzog, retired bishop of Albany, has entered into (or more accurately, returned to) full communion with the Catholic Church. In his letter to Bishop Love, Herzog writes:

My sense of duty to the diocese, its clergy and people required that I not walk away from my office and leave vulnerable this diocese which I love. I believed that it was my responsibility to provide for a transition to the future. Your subsequent election and consecration discharged that duty and has given me the liberty to follow my conscience, and now resign my orders and membership in the House of Bishops.

Read it all.

Please keep Bishop Herzog, as well as all the catechumens who will enter the Church in a week (exciting!), in your prayers.

Inspiration Resources #1 & 2

A friend was lamenting recently that she missed the inspiration available during our CRHP team formation. Nothing quite matches those days but I am going to be running a series of good resources to try out for inspiration and formation.

This will be podcast heavy because I am thinking of my friend who is works in a law office, lives far from her home, and has two adorable little ones to keep her busy (joyfully busy, I will add) the rest of the time. However, I will feature other types of resources also.

INSPIRATION
Meditations from Carmel*
A podcast with episodes between one and four minutes long. Each has soothing sounds of quiet music in the background while a contemplative voice reads the meditation from a Carmelite saint. Several of these hit me just right and I'm going to keep them on my iPod for those stressed out moments when I need a good reminder of where the "center" is.

INSTRUCTION
Peter Kreeft
Yes, I wrote about him recently but want to mention him again here. Catholic convert and professor of philosophy at Boston College, Kreeft uses logic and humor to talk about God, the Church, and many other topics helpful to Christians trying to keep the faith in modern times (his writing on modern philosophers is especially good). This post lists his books which had the biggest influence on me.

You can download audio of his talks* or subscribe through iTunes (search for www.peterkreeft.com). His site also has some of his featured writing as well as additional pieces here.

* Unless otherwise mentioned, any podcasts or audio can be downloaded to your computer (using the right click mouse button) and listened to there or burned to a CD if you don't have a mp3 player. I mention iTunes because that is what I use, however most of these also can be found through other podcatchers (usually mentioned on their sites).

Resources 3 & 4: here.

Have I Got A Deal For You!

Somehow it seems appropriate that the second anniversary of Pope John Paul II's death will be on Monday at the beginning of Holy Week. He taught us so much with his life and death.

Loyola Press has a special offer for Happy Catholic readers for two books about him for this anniversary.

If your readers want to get Go In Peace (paperback or hardcover) and/or Lessons for Living, they can call 800-621-1008 or www.LoyolaBooks.org and mention code 2296 & they will receive 30% off their order b/c they are Happy Catholic readers. The offer expires May 2, 2007

I just love Michelle at Loyola. She's the best.

A What?

If they told you I'm mad, then they lied. I'm odd, but it isn't compulsive. I'm the triolet, bursting with pride; If they told you I'm mad, then they lied. No, it isn't obsessive. Now hide All the spoons or I might get convulsive. If they told you I'm mad then they lied. I'm odd, but it isn't compulsive. What Poetry Form Are You?

I never heard of a triolet before. Via Alicia.

Have You Got Motu-Mania?

I don't but I recognize the signs well enough to just die laughing over Aliens in This World's Top Ten List of Signs You've Succumbed to Motu-Mania. My favorites:

3. You have a nasty ailment, and decide to wait and apply a printout of the motu proprio instead of trying your aunt’s Lourdes water.

2. Rocco calls to warn you that the Vatican’s webmistress has sent over the Swiss Ninja Death Guard to pull out your modem.

This, of course, spurred The Curt Jester on to similar brilliance with his own Top Ten List.

8. You have already budgeted in the fact that you are going to be saving a lot of money on gas by not having to drive to that one parish over an hour away that has the Indult Mass.

7. You have an “I “heart” Motu Proprio” bumper sticker on your car.

Prayer Request

My father has been ailing for some time but, talking to my mother this morning, I realized that I didn't know quite the extent of his illness. It is increasingly debilitating and the doctors cannot find any reason for it. Evidently this has been going on since last October. My mother is becoming increasingly upset and worried, naturally.

I so appreciate having y'all to call on in interceding for my parents. Thank you so much.

A Bleg

Anyone know of an orthodox Catholic parish in Pittsburgh? Any help is much appreciated!

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

The Waiting by Tom Petty

I am impatient by nature. This is not helped any by the fact that our national psyche is one of wasting no time in doing something about what we want. Whether it is solving a problem, getting something we want, or trying to make an unpleasant situation better, we are conditioned to fix, to solve, to heal ... to control. And we want to do all these things now.

I am getting better at waiting. Some of it has to do with age and learning over time that everything can't come at once. Most of it has to do with God. I waited a year to realize that he was there after making my bet with Him. I waited six months to even begin RCIA classes after realizing that I needed to become Catholic. I waited four months to attend the Christ Renews His Parish retreat after realizing I needed something more that I could get from reading books by myself. I waited 6 weeks after realizing that I was being told through private discernment I might become the leader of my CRHP team for the actual discernment to make it from a possibility to a reality.

The waiting seemed long but in every case the payoff was huge. In fact, it was life changing.

In all of these cases, once I realized the steps to be taken, my job was to keep myself open to God's will and wait. In essence, I was to be passive and not attempt to control or affect anything. The keeping open was never the problem that the waiting was. Can't we just get on with things?

This morning's devotional reading highlighted waiting and being passive in such a good way that I couldn't cut any of it. Hence we have a very long passage below . Perhaps you will find it as fruitful as I have.

From Action to Passion
Henri Nouwen

I was invited to visit a friend who was very sick. He was a man about fifty-three years old who had lived a very active, useful, faithful, creative life. Actually, he was a social activist who had cared deeply for people. When he was fifty he found out he had cancer, and the cancer became more and more severe.

When I came to him, he said to me, "Henri, here I am lying in this bed, and I don't even know how to think about being sick. My whole way of thinking about myself is in terms of action, in terms of doing things for people. My life is valuable because I've been able to do many things for many people. And suddenly, here I am, passive, and I can't do anything anymore."

And he said to me, "Help me to think about this situation in a new way. Help me to think about my not being able to do anything anymore so I won't be driven to despair. Help me to understand what it means that now all sorts of people are doing things to me over which I have no control."

As we talked I realized that he and many others were constantly thinking, "How much can I still do?" Somehow this man had learned to think about himself as a man who was worth only what he was doing. And so when he got sick, his hope seemed to rest on the idea that he might get better and return to what he had been doing. If the spirit of this man was dependent on how much he would still be able to do, what did I have to say to him? ...

The central word in the story of Jesus' arrest is one I never thought much about. It is "to be handed over." That is what happened in Gethsemane. Jesus was handed over. Some translations say that Jesus was "betrayed," but the Greek says he was "handed over." Judas handed Jesus over (see Mark 14:10). But the remarkable thing is that the same word is used not only for Judas but also for God. God did not spare Jesus, but handed him over to benefit us all (see Romans 8:32).

So this word, "to be handed over," plays a central role in the life of Jesus. Indeed, this drama of being handed over divides the life of Jesus radically in two. The first part of Jesus' life is filled with activity. Jesus takes all sorts of initiatives. He speaks; he preaches; he heals; he travels. But immediately after Jesus is handed over, he becomes the one to whom things are being done. He's being arrested; he's being led to the high priest' he's being taken before Pilate; he's being crowned with thorns; he's being nailed on a cross. things are being done to him over which he has no control. That is the meaning of passion -- being the recipient of other people's initiatives.

It is important for us to realize that when Jesus says, "It is accomplished," he does not simply mean, "I have done all the things I wanted to so." He also means, "I have allowed things to be done to me that needed to be done to me in order for me to fulfill my vocation." Jesus does not fulfill his vocation in action only but also in passion. He doesn't just fulfill his vocation by doing the things the Father sent him to do, but also by letting things be done to him that the Father allows to be done to him, by receiving other people's initiatives.

Passion is a kind of waiting -- waiting for what other people are going to do. Jesus went to Jerusalem to announce the good news to the people of that city. And Jesus knew that he was going to put a choice before them: Will you be my disciple, or will yoube my executioner? There is no middle ground here. Jesus went to Jerusalem to put people in a situation where they had to say "Yes " or "No." That is the great drama of Jesus' passion: he had to wait upon how people were going to respond. How would they come? To betray him or to follow him? In a way, his agony is not simply the agony of approaching death. It is also the agony of having to wait.

All action ends in passion because the response to our action is our of our hands. That is the mystery of work, the mystery of love, the mystery of friendship, the mystery of community -- they always involve waiting. And that is the mystery of Jesus' love. God reveals himself in Jesus as the one who waits for our response. Precisely in that waiting the intensity of God's love is revealed to us. If God forced us to love, we would not really be lovers.

All these insights into Jesus' passion were very important in the discussions with my friend. He realized that after much hard work he had to wait. He came to see that his vocation as a human being would be fulfilled not just in his actions but also in his passion. And together we began to understand that precisely in this waiting the glory of God and our new life both become visible.

Precisely when Jesus is being handed over into his passion, he manifests his glory. "Whom do you seek? ... I am he" are words that echo all the way back to Moses and the burning bush: "I am the one. I am who I am" (see Exodus 3:1-6). In Gethsemane, the glory of God manifested itself again, and they fell flat on the ground. Then Jesus was handed over. But already in the handing over we see the glory of God who hands himself over to us. God's glory revealed in Jesus embraces passion as well as resurrection.

"The Son of Man," Jesus says, "must be lifted up as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert, so that everyone who believes may have eternal life in him" (John 3:14-15). He is lifted up as a passive victim, so the cross is a sign of desolation. And he is lifted up in glory, so the cross becomes at the same time a sign of hope. Suddenly we realize that the glory of God, the divinity of God, bursts through in Jesus' passion precisely when he is most victimized. So new life becomes visible not only in the resurrection on the third day, but already in the passion, in the being handed over. Why? Because it is in the passion that the fullness of God's love shines through. It is supremely a waiting love, a love that does not seek control.

When we allow ourselves to feel fully how we are being acted upon, we can come in touch with a new life that we were not even aware was there. This was the question my sick friend and I talked about constantly. Could he taste the new life in the midst of his passion? Could he see that in his being acted upon by the hospital staff he was already being prepared for a deeper love? It was a love that had been underneath all the action, but he had not tasted it fully. So together we began to see that in the midst of our suffering and passion, in the midst of our waiting, we can already experience the resurrection.

Imagine how important that message is for people in our world. If it is true that God in Jesus Christ is waiting for our response to divine love, then we can discover a whole new perspective on how to wait in life. We can learn to be obedient people who do not always try to go back to the action but who recognize the fulfillment of our deepest humanity in passion, in waiting. If we can do this, I am convinced that we will come in touch with the glory of God and our own new life. Then our service to others will include our helping them see the glory breaking through, not only where they are active but also where they are being acted upon.

Bread and Wine: Readings For Lent And Easter

Last night I realized that the waiting may be beginning again. After our scripture study I was quite surprised and flattered when a fellow attendee who I respect immensely approached me and tentatively said that she wanted to "plant a seed." Actually she wanted to plant a couple of seeds in sharing ways she had served the parish that had furthered her relationship with God. One suggestion is just not for me. The other suggestion though ... the other is one that a friend recently had been telling me about in the same way. However, where my friend's words hadn't particularly moved me, this acquaintance's words did break through in such a way that I was envisioning it all the way home.

I don't want to plunge in without a little more than a sudden surge of imagination. I am quite good at imagining things. This needs to be based on a bit more, especially as I already am involved up to my elbows in various parish activities. Last night and again this morning I told God that I'd wait until I had more than just a glimmer. I'd let Him guide me in this.

This waiting is a familiar feeling. It took me back to those previous times. And I am not impatient either for the "yes" or "no." I am content to wait in this instance and see what, if anything, unfolds.

I realize that, unlike the excerpt above, my waiting is all about whether I should "do" something. However, all this waiting for God's word about His will is excellent practice in not doing anything at all but being passive. I hope and pray that when the days come that I am "handed over," as those days will inevitably come to us all in our lives, that I may benefit from all this practice ... and thus do God's will by not doing.

Prayer and Bible Reading: Listening to God

Reading the Bible should be a form of prayer. The Bible should be read in God's presence and as the unfolding of His mind. It is not just a book, but God's love letter to you. It is God's revelation, God's mind, operating through your mind and your reading, so your reading is your response to His mind and will. Reading it is aligning your mind and will with God's; therefore it is a fulfillment of the prayer "Thy will be done," which is the most basic and essential key to achieving our whole purpose on earth: holiness and happiness. I challenge every reader to give a good excuse (to God, not to me, or even just to yourself) for not putting aside fifteen minutes a day to use this fundamental aid to fulfilling the meaning of your life.

Both prayer and Bible reading are ways of listening to God. They should blend: our prayer should be biblical and our Bible reading prayerful.

In Catholic theology, the Bible is sacramental: it is a sign that is an occasion for grace. The Bible fits the two classic definitions of a sacrament: (1) a visible sign instituted by Christ to give grace and (2) a sign that effects what it signifies. However, unlike the seven sacraments, it does not work ex opere operato; it does not give grace by itself, but is dependent on our use of it. ...

Though it is not a sacrament, it has power. Its power comes from two wills, God's and ours. It is the Spirit's sword (Eph 6:17) that cuts our very being apart (Heb 4:12), though we must give it an opening by exposing our minds and hearts and wills to its cutting edge. When we do that, God's Kingdom comes to earth. For it first comes to that tiny but crucially important bit of earth that is your mind and will. Then it transforms your life, which your mind and will control. Then, through your life, your world.

You Can Understand the Bible
A Practical And Illuminating Guide To Each Book In The Bible
by Peter Kreeft

I think this is why I always have identified with St. Augustine a lot (we will put aside any other reasons ... ahem). St. Augustine was converted to Catholicism by reading the Bible. Although I was not converted through reading, in fact had no idea at the time that there were books about that sort of thing, I always had my "best results" in prayer when I was reading the Bible. In fact, that is the reason I also always identified with St. Teresa of Avila, who said that she could not pray without a book.

Kreeft's commentary about prayer, reading, and aligning the mind and will with God resonate on that same level. And give me impetus to return to that prayer style which always worked so well for me. (Magnificat is good but I think I need the whole book in my case.)

Chock Full of Kreeft-y Goodness

YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THE BIBLE
A Practical And Illuminating Guide To Each Book In The Bible
by Peter Kreeft

I realize with surprise that it has been some time since I have mentioned Peter Kreeft around here. I say "with surprise" since Peter Kreeft is probably the modern Catholic writer that has influenced me most since I became a Catholic. He states things with a logic and clarity that hits me right between the eyes and sticks with me when I need to remember them most. These three books

• Prayer for Beginners
  I am not positive but I think this book was where I first came along Kreeft. I was a new Catholic and suddenly bethought myself to wonder how I should pray. I don't know why I thought there was a proper way to pray but evidently enough others have asked the question that this book was written. A great book to give new Christians by the way. On a side note, Kreeft really endeared himself to me when I heard him in an interview somewhere confessing that he was a pretty good professor of philosophy but not a very good "pray-er." He then proceeded to give an example right out of my playbook as to continuing to read instead of using that extra fifteen minutes in prayer even when knowing it would make his day go better, etc.


• Angels And Demons
  This I picked up because the subject matter was irresistable. Who doesn't want to read about angels and demons? Based on the questions in his class on the subject, this is solidly based on scripture and Church teachings. If you have questions, this is the place to go for your angel and demon answers. Most of all, this showed me just how much information is contained in reputable sources if we are willing to mine it for the details. Which led me to Bible studies and, thus, I am in Peter Kreeft's debt again.


• Catholic Christianity
  This is the book that made me into a faithful Catholic. When I converted I had many mental reservations about the big issues that the secular world raises. They weren't answered by my RCIA class in a way that convinced me of their rightness and I wound up having problems with the idea that I had, so to speak, joined a club that I couldn't endorse wholeheartedly. When this book was published and I saw that it was putting the "muscle" on the the "skeleton" of the Catechism (so to speak) I couldn't get it fast enough. Although it is a thick book I read it in a week, straight through. Kreeft's logic showed how the Church's stands on abortion, homosexuality, and other such issues flowed naturally out of that core belief in Christ. What a relief it was to have it all laid out in front of me in such an understandable way.

When I began this blog I was posting Kreeft excerpts right and left as some may recall. The reason I haven't mentioned him for some time is simple. I've been on a fast from actually buying books. Thanks to the review books I receive I am amply supplied with theological reading for the forseeable future (I still can't believe my luck at hitting the lists of those who send out review copies ... talk about manna from heaven!). Our library is well supplied with most of the books I crave, right up to and including three of the four versions of Dante I wanted to check out before embarking upon The Divine Comedia. Now that is a well supplied library, I think that you'll agree.

However, recently I was looking for a gift to give a friend upon his confirmation this Easter and thought it would be good to give him a basic guide to reading the Bible. That's something we all can use some help with, I always think. That is not to say that just diving in isn't recommended, but I know that I always benefit from a little explanation and guidance along the way as well.

I thought of Kreeft's You Can Understand the Bible (yes, we're finally getting to the book mentioned at the beginning of this post...) which I have been drooling over since I first heard of it. Now, naturally I wouldn't want to give anyone a book unless I had read it first. What if Peter Kreeft suddenly slid off of that Catholic pedestal upon which I have placed him? (As if.) To be sure I ordered two copies so I could really mark up mine. (Rationalization is my friend, y'all.)

Oh boy, oh boy! This is good stuff. Originally a long running series of articles, each chapter is short enough to read in one sitting without any trouble. However, each still is packed with fascinating information and background about the different books of the Bible. It didn't take long before I had read the first 40 pages and had marked seven excellent excerpts that must be shared. Tom quickly tired of me clearing my throat significantly and waiting for him to glance my way so I could read him just one more really good bit. I am going to be sharing these with y'all in the days to come so that you too can experience some of that Kreeft-y goodness.

For those who would like to sample some Peter Kreeft without having to buy a book first, he has a good variety of writing and yet more writing. The selection featured under "Pillars of Unbelief" (about various modern philosophers) and "Other Religions" were especially helpful to me. There is also a section of featured audio which has speeches on key subjects. These can be downloaded from the site or found through iTunes (look for them under "www.peterkreeft.com").

Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord

Bartolomo Esteban Murillo. Annunciation.
c.1660-65. Oil on canvas. Museo del Prado, Madrid, Spain. (Source)

On today's feast the Church celebrates the mystery of the Incarnation and, at the same time, the vocation of Our Lady. It was her faithful response to the angel's message, her fiat, that began the work of redemption...

The setting of this feast day, March 25th, corresponds to Christmas. In addition, there is ancient tradition that the creation of the world and the commencement and conclusion of the Redemption all happened to coincide at the vernal equinox.

The Incarnation should have a pronounced and dramatic on our life. This event is the central moment of human history. Without Christ, life has no meaning. Christ the Redeemer "fully reveals man to himself" (Encyclical, Redemptor Hominis). It is only through Christ that we will come to comprehend our inner self and everything that matters most to us: the hidden value of pain and of work well done, the authentic peace and joy which surpass natural feelings and life's uncertainties, the delightful prospect of our supernatural reward in our eternal homeland...

The human testimony of the Son of God teaches us that all earthly realities ought to be loved and offered up to Heaven. Christ has transformed the human condition into a pathway to God. Consequently, the Christian's struggle for perfection takes on a profoundly positive character. This struggle has nothing to do with snuffing out one's humanity so that the divine might shine out instead. Sanctity does not necessitate total separation from worldly affairs. For it is not human nature that opposes God's will, but sin and the effects of original sin which have so badly damaged our souls. Our struggle to become like Christ brings with it a life-long battle against whatsoever degrades our humanity -- egoism, envy, sensuality, a critical spirit ...

In the same way as the humanity of Christ is not effaced by his dignity, so it is that through the Incarnation the human condition preserves its integrity and finds its final end.

In Conversation with God,
Vol. 6: Special Feasts: January to June

A New Blog

A Catholic, a knitter and an avid book lover since 1983.

And the lady understands what makes being a Catholic so great ...

Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine,
There's always laughter and good red wine.
At least I've always found it so.

Benedicamus Domino

What's not to like? Go check it out these musings of a wine country Catholic and welcome her to St. Blog's Parish!

Poetry Thursday

I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.

Dorothy Parker

Thanks Be to God for Miracles, Little Girls ...

... and this Catholic hospital.

"By that point," remembers Taylor, "our prayer was more, initially, or first reaction was to pray to God to help us make it through it. To comfort us. Shortly after that our mind changed and we said God we know you have the power to change this, and we're putting this in Your hands.

Regular sonograms for the next six months still showed no amniotic fluid. An inducement was scheduled six weeks before the due date. One last sonogram indicated something had changed. The Whites headed straight to their specialist in Dallas...

Read it all. Via Alicia.