A Short Realization About Death

This is going to be a "duh" moment for many.

Seeing all the comments and sympathy and reaching out to Amy Welborn after Michael's tragic death has made all of us probably think about death more. I know I was quite surprised to read that Amy has had a fear of death. I was surprised when people commented that their deepest fear was that their husband might suddenly die.

This is only reflective of the fact that I just don't think about death, even when it is right in front of me, so to speak. I think of where we're going after death. I know intellectually that if one of my loved ones died suddenly I would be devastated, just like anyone would. However, as I said, I know that intellectually. I don't think about how it would feel.

I remember once, years ago, Rose asked me if I were afraid of dying. I thought for a second. "I'm not afraid of death. I'm not looking forward to the process of dying, but I'm not afraid of death because I figure Heaven will be so interesting."

Over confident. Yes, I am surely that. But I hope and trust that my honest efforts to get to Heaven will be supplemented by a generous supply of Christ's grace and I'll scrape my way into Purgatory and get to Heaven eventually.

Anyway, driving back from Springfield, I wound up thinking about Amy and that haunted hotel room and all those cars whizzing around me that could make a wrong move and wipe me out. I realized that I had never thought about that moment of death. You know. The process of death. When you move from one world into another. I never thought about what that would be like. For me myself as a person to experience that shift.

Scary.

Very scary.

In my mind's eye it was like trying to squeeze through a teeny, tiny hole into ... what?

That was when I realized, really felt it to my core, the sheer helplessness of death. The sheer need to fall into Christ's arms because He'd be the only constant, the only person I could trust in that moment to be there the whole time, helping me, loving me, taking care of me ...

Yes it is a helpless feeling, a thing that is scary to think about. But I like that it made me realize just how fully I do place my trust in Jesus ... and how much I need and utterly depend upon Him. There's a rightness about that. I like it.