I wound up on one of those email threads where people kept capping each others' Christmas jokes. It was so much fun that I'm sharing them here. Plus a few more that I couldn't resist from other places.
I love hollandaise sauce. It caused a lot of cavities. My dentist told me I would need a plate made of chrome if I wanted to continue my hollandaise habit. I said, “Really?” He said. “Oh yes. There’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.”
What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red. He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting. He turned to her and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!" Without even looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain. It must be sleeting." The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the Czar of all the Russias, and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping!