(source)
(Because there's nothing for kicking off a Halloween countdown like some really bad jokes...)
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite...
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...
What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"
What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...
What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends...
What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane...
What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
Bloodhounds...
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone...
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets...
Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...
Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation...
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