Computer Virus Warning

From my in box. Thanks Lisa!

Dangerous computer virus alert
Watch out for these new viruses.
Neither Symantec, Norton, nor McAfee have solutions as yet!

• The George Bush Virus
  Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.


• The John Kerry Virus
  Reverses every position in your computer, each time you turn it on.


• The Ronald Reagan Virus
  Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.


• The Clinton Virus
  Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.


• The Al Gore Virus
  Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.


• The Bob Dole (a.k.a. Viagra) Virus
  Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.


• The Lewinsky Virus
  Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.


• The Michael Jackson Virus
  Attacks only minor files.


• The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
  Terminates some files, leaves... but will be back!


• The Mike Tyson Virus
  Quits after two bytes.


• The Oprah Winfrey Virus
  Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB.


• The Ellen Degeneres Virus
  Disks can no longer be inserted.


• The Prozac Virus
  Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.


• The Lorena Bobbitt Virus
  Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy ... then discards it through Windows.

UPDATE: The Curt Jester takes a funny idea and runs with it ... no surprise there!